I don't know why I always wait until I'm falling to have these deeply introspective moments. Even if the time I'm falling is relatively short, I have amazing clarity of mind, and the seconds seem to stretch out infinitely. If I make it through this I should write a book, How I Discovered Myself and Found Inner Peace While Falling into a Pit of Vipers. You should try it: jump from a rooftop high above the street and by the time you reach the pavement you'd be surprised at how your mind is able to sort things out—just make certain you've got a net or one of those big inflatable bags like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon.

A viper pit is a logical renovation for a temple devoted to a snake goddess, and I'm surprised I didn't see this one coming. Judging by how long I've fallen, this pit is impressively deep. The types of snakes that hunt geckos include some of the world's most venomous snakes, and I have no doubt that this pit is chock full of highly poisonous vipers.

Liana said that I need to show the faith of Paul, so I go through a mental checklist as I drop into the pit. Let's see, the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked and spent several days afloat on the ocean—not relevant. He was whipped and beaten with rods—nope. He was in jail when an earthquake struck and the walls collapsed. His jailer was about to kill himself because the penalty was death if his prisoners escaped, but Paul said, “Don't kill yourself; we're still here.” Not helping. He was executed by being roasted alive inside a bronze animal. Once the vipers get me, that's not a factor.

Like a cat, my tail curls and instinctively corrects my posture as I fall, but without all the mule-headed jackassery felines are prone to. Something tells me, though, that I need to land horizontally.

I strike the floor of the pit with my side. The impact blows a gust of air out through my snout but I've managed to break my fall and crush a bunch of serpents to death by landing on them. I rise and am about to climb up out of the pit when a krait latches onto the side of my neck.

Remember what I was saying about falling from a height as a means to gain mental clarity? We should definitely add to that getting bitten in the throat by a krait, too. In an instant I recall that when the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked on an island, he was gathering firewood and was bitten by a snake that latched onto his arm. The natives of the island grew wide-eyed, because they recognized the snake as a highly venomous serpent like the dreaded “two step krait,” which gets its name because its victim only has two steps before he drops dead. They were waiting for Paul to keel over dead, but he shook off the snake into the fire and went on about his business.

Okay, so now all I need is a fire. And I don't recall Paul getting bitten by several snakes, because two more have latched onto me, one at the inner thigh and another at the ankle. I swallow, because this is going to hurt.

“Flame on!” I shout, and my entire body bursts into flame, which spreads wall to wall across the pit, causing an eruption of hissing before the serpents are burnt to a crisp. The nice thing about being on another planet is that I don't have to worry about copyright infringement, even if my body is consumed by unbearable agony as I burn from head to toes, or more accurately, from snout to tail.

Extinguishing the flames, I scamper straight up the wall and bound out of the pit, catching the queen's stork-like champion in armor as she's raising her fist in the air triumphantly, standing like a dumbass with her back to the pit. I pounce on her back, knocking her to the floor. As she rises and turns, the tip of her sword sweeps the stone floor in an arc before she brings up her weapon.

My tongue shoots out, sending the sticky bulb of flesh at the end onto her helmet. As I retract my tongue, I am leaping forward, using my weight to help yank her helmet off of her head. I spit her helmet to one side, and I am airborne, throwing my left foot in a kick. The shackle on my foot clanks off of her metal breastplate, but the poisonous spur slides into her neck.

Her throat swells in an instant, and she pulls at the armor at her neck as though that will help her breathe. She pitches forward and strikes the floor with a clank, lying motionless and face-down.

From the balcony the dwarf queen shrieks, then wails in grief. When the queen sees me looking at her, she knows she's done. She whirls about and begins to run, impaling herself on both daggers of the albino girl. The boil-covered queen seizes up, and has a pained look on her face as though she's constipated.

Quickly sheathing her daggers, Liana gathers the queen's ankles and pitches the deformed dwarf over the railing. A cry goes out from the snake worshipers and imitators, as well as from the Red Riot as they watch their beloved queen fall like a sack of trash.

Taur swings his club, knocking off the arm of the Ashera statue and sending it spinning across the floor in my direction. My stubby arms aren't much good, so I pick up the stone arm with my tongue and flying it like a slungshot, which is a length of rope or cable with a weight at the end.

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Liana grips both daggers icepick-style and spins. With a leap she thrusts both blades into the serpent banner on the other side of the royal theater box and drops, with her fall being slowed by her daggers slicing the fabric.

The albino girl joins me and Taur as we smash through the ranks of serpent worshipers and the Red Riot. I am whipping the stone arm, smashing skulls and bones, while Taur does the same, taking out a kneecap in one pass, then spinning and coming back to the head as someone in blotchy scale tattoos charges him.

The flying foxes drop from the ceiling, diving down into the massed members of the Red Riot. One of the crimson-robed mob raises his arm to strike at a bat dropping down on him, when Liana races in and catches him with a thrust up under his rib cage into his heart. It is a combination attack, both high and low, as we take advantage of anyone defending himself against the flying foxes above him to come in low. Sadly, some of the Ashera followers have so badly mutilated themselves that they cannot fight, like the poor woman who has had an arm and a leg amputated to give her a slimmer “snake-like” profile, who can only flop and twist on her mat in protest.

I swing the stone arm on the end of my tongue, whipping it onto a kneecap to crush it, then retract the arm while throwing out a kick, sending my poisonous spur on the ankle of my left foot into a thigh, at which point a snake worshiper convulses and drops. Until a day or two ago, I didn't even know I had a poisonous spur.

A few troops gather outside the temple, but they are the last of the last. No opposition remains in the temple, except for Liana, who thrusts both daggers into a curtain, where a member of the Red Riot has tried to hide. The albino girl points to someone on the floor who is feigning death, which prompts Taur to put a quick end to him with his club.

The stragglers of the guard rush onto the temple, but stop in surprise when they see the bodies strewn over the floor. They drop their weapons in panic, and turn to run out, but the pavement swirls with dark shadows as bats the size of humans alight on the exterior of the temple.

“Stay!” I shout to the last of the soldiers. “Surrender, and you won't be harmed. Open both doors so our brothers can leave.”

All of the doors are opened at once, allowing the bats to walk out, an odd sight as they totter on two feet aided by small black claws on their wings, which they use like crutches to prop themselves up.

A crowd has gathered outside the temple, filling the streets as Taur, Liana, and I step outside into the daylight, accompanied by the strange sight of the furry bats accompanying us. High-pitched chatter ensues from the golden furred bats perched on the temple walls above the street and those emerging from the temple.

“Great king! Your subjects have been freed.” I bow, followed by Liana and Taur.

“As a sign of my gratitude, will you accept this?” the king asks, turning the snout of his fox-like head to the bat on his right, who clutches the lustrous ruby in his talon.

“I prefer that it go to those who were imprisoned here, that they might resume their lives,” I reply. “I would rather have their freedom than any riches. Today the scripture has been fulfilled, Grant me power that I may deliver the oppressed and free the captives.”

The eyelids of the king and his lieutenants close briefly as a gesture of respect.

“May I ascend, your highness?” I ask.

He nods his black head, while his glossy obsidian eyes remain inscrutable.

I scamper up the side of the temple to stand beside the bat king. “From this day forward, the bat people will be welcome in the temple of God the Healer. According to the scriptures, we are molded of clay in various forms, but we are all made in the likeness of God. This day the scripture has been fulfilled, The stones will revolt against their idolatry and their idols will crush them.

The deformed queen is dead, as is her champion. Clear out the temple of their corpses, and all the other vermin we killed here today. Take the bars off of the windows, so that the bat people are free to come and go as they please. Anyone who bears the mark of the serpent dies, as does anyone who was a member of the Red Riot—we will cleanse the city of their evil. My companions and I will stay for a while to see that this city is purified.”

The crowd has been silent, but now begins to murmur.

“Who will be our ruler?” a voice shouts from the gathered throng.

“Him!” I yell in reply as my tail points to a curly-haired boy in the crowd. I spring from the wall beside the bat king and open my arms wide. The sail-like flaps of skin at my sides unfurl, and I glide down to the street. The crowd disperses as I approach the curly-headed boy who was healed the other day.

“His skin is smooth and free of scars,” his mother tells me.

I kneel and run my chubby fingers through his curly hair. “When he is of age, he will serve as your king. God the Healer has chosen him, and he is special.”

The crowd murmurs in surprise.

“Next to Lord Riyel, you'll always be the king of my heart, little guy.” I look at him and realize he's an image of someone an unimaginable distance away. With a sigh, I rise.

“Your eye is bleeding!” someone shouts.

“Damn allergies.” I walk across the street to Taur and Liana. The three of us embrace, even though I have to cheat and use my tail. “That was a great move back there, Liana, like Errol Flynn.”

“Who's he?” the pale girl asks.

“He starred in pirate movies, uh, plays, and that was a classic move of his: leap out onto a sail, plunge his dagger into it, and slide down.” I rest an arm on Taur's shoulder, or try to, but he's too tall, so I place it on his lower back. “And that was inspired, breaking off the statue's arm and sending it to me. That was the fulfillment of scripture.”

“Well how about Liana,” Taur counters, “who when we were all staring at the pit, moved to surprise the queen?”

I nod my head in agreement, then turn to the crowd. “Inside the temple there is free roasted snake! It's delicious. Help yourselves.”