I have begun recording random events I see while out on the occasional walk. Our Lord Solipsis has said that such events are just as important to understand us as the major ones. Even if I disagree, I shall do as asked. - Librarian
----------------------------------------
"WHYYYY???!!!!" the roar of misery echoed between the buildings. The robed figure dropped to his knees at the edge of the isle. He began punching the ground repeatedly. "WHY!!? OH WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO HORRID!?!!"
Normal's face was blank as he watched the lanky creature wail in misery. Next to him, the woman with the lower body of a spider whispered, “I-is he going to be okay?”
“No. He's irrevocably insane,” said the definitively male humanoid as he crossed his arms. His voice betrayed his amusement.
“MY ROCK!!!! IT'S GONE!!!” screamed the tall figure as he clawed at the ground. “THIRTY YEARS OF SMOOTHING IT INTO A PERFECT SPHERE! AAAAAAHHHH!!!”
“Shouldn't we tell him?” Spider asked as she nervously ringed her hands together.
“I mean, that'd probably be the better thing to do,” Normal mused as he watched Lank's arms wave in the air, “or we can wait for the funniest part.”
“Isn't that kind of mean?” Spider asked.
“I mean, he did start this,” Normal said. His eyes flicked up towards the darkness above. “Sides, how was I supposed to know the ball shaped rock would go off the edge?”
“The slope?” She asked without a hint of irony.
Then, like a finger of god, the rock struck Lank from above directly atop his head. His back folded backwards and his head hit the ground behind him. His eyes were rolled back and he sat there opening and closing his mouth. The rounded stone caught on his leg. Spider looked away and said, “I hope he's okay. That looked like it hurt.”
“Physically? He'll be fine enough. He got his rock back,” Normal said as he turned around.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Behind them, the crowd began to disperse; only one remained. The figure stood somewhere around nine feet into total height. His skin was made of solid, dull iron. He was bent forward slightly and had a cauldron where his head should have been. Spider turned and said in a chipper voice, “Oh, hi, did you need something?”
“Hmmmm. Have you seen Bird?” He asked in a slow monotone.
“Was she not at the Seeker's Tavern? They pay her in those shiny things she likes so much to sing a lot,” Spider said after thinking for a second.
“Not there. She promised to work out with me today,” Cook said. He reached up and into the cauldron. He lifted out of a set of weight for a moment before lowering them back in.
“Hey, what does it feel like when you put stuff in there?” Normal asked, staring at Cook's head.
“Correct. Okay. I'll go ask Lord Solipsis,” The golem said, turned, and marched.
“Bet she got thrown off the edge again for annoying Solipsis,” Normal muttered.
“She really needs to stop trying to challenge him to singing contests. Especially when she doesn’t wait for an answer and just starts,” Spider said with a sad look on her face.
----------------------------------------
“So, do you think it's a weapon?” Asked Lizard staring at the little metal box. His carefully adjusted his mask that covered his long reptilian snout as it began to slip. With crawled hand on the singular horn, he tilted his entire head to get a better look at it.
The seeker scoffed and said, “It's a toaster.”
“Why does it have a tail?” Lizard asked as he used his freehand to poke at the black long thing that sat on the back. The Seeker quickly pulled it away. The man's eyes sat firmly on the sharp looking claws on the Congregation Member.
“See the prongs? This part is plugged into another machine that generates the power. The insides,” He said tilting it to show the slots on the top, “You put bread in these and then pull down the little lever. Once it's toasted the bread? It pops back up.”
“What's it's combat uses?” Lizard asked with bright eyes.
The Seeker stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded. He said, “A hearty breakfast being cooked. I guess it's also heavy.”
“I see. Eh, I'll give this to Cook. I'm sure he can make good use of it,” Lizard said, disappointment in his voice. He offered his free hand to the sailor and they shook.
----------------------------------------
"Hey, Librarian! Why are your ears pointy and powerful?" shouted Bird excitedly upon seeing Librarian outside.
"Hey! What are you doing?" shouted Bird approaching Librarian as he wrote.
"You know, Librarian, you are a lot like the sailors but with pointy and powerful ears. Except some of them do too. Some of them are also weirdly short and powerful as well. Why is that?" Bird asked as Librarian kept walking and writing. She was not catching on that she was being ignored.
"Wait, you are ignoring me?!" Bird squawked in apparent shock as she read what Librarian wrote. He felt a headache slowly forming.
"Why are you so mean to me?" Bird whined as Librarian turned a corner. He knew she hadn't forgotten the frankly ridiculous numbers of times she had trashed the library. She had done so not but a few days prior.
"That wasn't me! Those book shelves were just too weak and powerful to handle me standing on them!" Bird huffed. Librarian couldn't help but to wonder if she was actually just that dumb.
To his horror, Bird squawked loudly at that and picked up Librarian. She hoisted him over her shoulder and yelled, "Well then, I'll take you back there and show you!"
Librarian screamed and she took off running towards the library, scribbling rapidly on the paper to finish the sentence.