Hello, READER! I am BIRD.

I was asked by the great and powerful SOLIPSIS to write a useful and powerful guide to the wonderful and powerful place we call home. I hope READER finds this helpful and powerful. If not, don’t complain to BIRD. Complaints are sent to LIBRARIAN. He will accept it as part of the LIBRARY.

I also think this is potentially a command given in hopes that the great and powerful SOLIPSIS will find it lacking and throw BIRD off the side of the islands again. Why? Because everyone is jealous of BIRD's wonderful and powerful singing! I'll show them all and write the best and powerful introduction for our new CONGREGATION family members. Such is what you are, READER. If you are not, present yourself to SOLIPSIS immediately. You can’t hide. You don’t want him to find you first.

If READER is unable to read? Find a CONGREGATION family member who can read to READER. Be sure to intersperse SQUAWKS for effect as I would do. Sing the words as best as READER can as well! BIRD has faith in READER! If terms make no sense to READER please ask for the introductory material on what CONGREGATION is.

First off, what is THE GARDENS? Well, it’s this big clump of flying rocks with plants and buildings. As the READER may have noticed, many of these places do not match in any way. Yet, theREADER may also notice how beautiful and powerful the entire thing looks.

The smaller floating rocks usually contain light poles, pathways, plants, or nothing. The big ones have buildings. Unless marked as a shop or public location? DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PERMISSION! The CONGREGATION might be a family and none of us are not alive enough to die, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t punishments. BIRD found out these awful and powerful punishments the hard way.

Amongst the shops you will find any number of strange and powerful things. Obtainment of materials from the OCEAN below is the primary source of things. All shops are notable by the appropriate shop sign and give info on the types of things they trade for and with. I suggest going to the ones with the most shiny and powerful things to trade for the most dull and powerful things. BIRD is shocked often how much shiny and powerful things they are willing to trade away for dull and powerful things.

The public areas of the GARDENS are the source of the name. They contain plants. The weird living things that rarely ever move. Some glow, some are colorful, and all are powerful. Often, you may find fruits and vegetables in some. Trust me, READER. Do not take a bunch. There are horrific and powerful punishments awaiting the greedy. There will be signs telling you what you can and can’t take.

Then there are the special places in the GARDENS. Most notable and powerful is the city’s main square. This is generally where you will find SOLIPSIS. Our glorious and powerful leader will often be there doing nothing but staring upwards. Besides him, it’s a dull place outside of the OBELISK. The tallest structure in all the city, it bathes the entire city in a soft light. If the OBELISK ever glows red, though? Go to the OBELISK. SOLIPSIS has something to tell everyone. This makes the dull place fun.

Another nice and powerful place is the THEATRE. BIRD specifically recommends spending time there. They will hold all sorts of fun and powerful events. Plays, readings, musical acts, a good round of gladiatorial combat? A fun day for everyone. The best is when an outsider comes and talks at the THEATRE. Well, they usually ask a lot of boring and powerful questions. The fun part is we all make fun of them. Why? No idea. It’s just kinda fun and powerful.

There is also the LAKE. Bird recommends spending some time there. It’s usually quiet and powerful with all the plants and stuff. No buildings. Just plants and water and dirt. The water is also great and powerful. Always just the right temperature for a dip. Beware, though READER. I found out the hard way that there are also punishments for wearing nothing while doing that. BIRD isn’t happy about that, but all well. There is also the BATH HOUSE, I guess, but BIRD is banned from there for “Splashing and making a loud and powerful ruckus.” So, I can’t tell you much of the place.

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Finally, the last place of public accessibility I would like to mention is the LIBRARY. BIRD loves the LIBRARY a whole lot. It has great acoustics. It also has every single bit of knowledge that the CONGREGATION has somehow managed to get their hands on. I don’t know how so much is stored there. I am no longer allowed in. The jealousy of LIBRARIAN for my wonderful and powerful singing is sad. Also apparently “BIRD tipped over fifteen bookcases while hopping between them.” This is a lie. It was only ten.

The GATE is also important. Some of the CONGREGATION are given special leave to exit through the GATE to places. Where? Places. Like the other places. BIRD never gets given such orders. BIRD’s usually orders go a lot more like “Stop making all that awful noise or I’ll throw you off the edge.” SOLIPSIS being jealous of my wondrous and powerful singing makes me happy.

Now, for the most important and powerful place in all of the GARDEN. BIRD’s house. Yes, my home is the best place and you can’t enter. On top of a tall and powerful oak tree, my house is made only from the finest branches, vines, leafs, and twigs. I carefully reworked it to be in the style of Art Deco. Though it is barely more than a single, I took careful care to make sure I matched the appearance of the THEATRE DES CHAMPS-ELYSEES as depicted in one of the books I managed to get out of the LIBRARY without LIBRARIAN noticing.

NORMAL told me once it doesn’t look anything like that, but NORMAL has no taste. I made sure to match the exact shape. I even made sure to have exactly two sets of three window holes under the sculptural reliefs of “the MUSES running to APOLLO” and “APOLLO at his Meditation.” Except I replaced them all with images of BIRD, because as NORMAL told me once, APOLLO can fly. Yet, I will not take such insults with him not even having wings.

BIRD sleeps where the stage is. I built a pretty little circular nest there and piled up all my blankets. It’s very comfortable. I also like to sing to the rows of toys I keep in front of it. The neighbors complain, but I don’t care. They can’t even reach my house.

The ceiling was the most troublesome. I ended up just installing a big light. Then, I surrounded it with happy and powerful little pictures of something called “the SKY.” Apparently? In places that aren’t the GARDENS or the OCEAN? There is a big blue place with weird, fluffy, and powerful things called clouds. There is even this giant and powerful fireball called the SUN! I heard the CLOUDS grow angry and hit people with electric bolts. They also sometimes get sad and cry on everyone. NORMAL told me CLOUDS don’t have emotions. I kicked him for that. It’s rude to imply that crying and smiting people aren’t feeling things.

Above the GARDENS in nothingness. Literal black, empty, and powerful nothingness. It’s the other direction that is important and powerful. The OCEAN. I mean, actually there isn’t anything down there, but it’s down there. I get thrown off all the time and I eventually just fall back to the GARDENS. Yet, the SEEKERS often come up from there with stuff.

I don’t know what to make of that place. Especially since I’ve never been. The only ones able to go down there are SOLIPSIS, BOAT, and the SEEKERS. For more information on SEEKERS? Ask LIBRARIAN. As loud as possible. As a favor for BIRD. If you do, I’ll let you pat my feathers, okay?

So, as it was told to me? The OCEAN is a place where the SEEKERS spend most of their time. They sail on boats made by BOAT. That’s why he’s allowed down there, specifically. He runs some sort of DOCKS. There isn’t actual water making up the OCEAN as in many of the stories. It’s some sort of awful black liquid. A SEEKER once told me he tasted it and it was like everything bad and powerful to ever exist at once.

There are plenty of rumors about what it could be. My favorite is that its the blood from gods. Though some of the CONGREGATION think it’s forgotten and powerful emotions. The weirdest and powerful theory I heard? It’s SOLIPSIS. He is also the OCEAN. Of course, though, our leader won’t remark on it.

All the same, the SEEKERS sail through that place. Islands are said to appear and disappear. Each made of forgotten places and things. Entire worlds and all their stories are said to be there. I wonder if forgotten gods are down in that place somewhere. From what we learn from SEEKERS? There certainly is an endless and powerful assortment of monstrous things.

Their stories are often just as entertaining and powerful and those they find. The worst and powerful fact? It’s that the LIBRARY is full of stories from places that are unfinished and powerful. So many forgotten worlds and places that the SEEKERS have spent so long trying to find again. The most insulting and powerful is when it’s literally the last page missing. BIRD hates that.

Anyways, I hope READER has found this a perfect and powerful guide to your new home. If it seems a bit sparse? Don’t worry, READER. BIRD assures you that we have all eternity to get familiar with the GARDENS. Remember, you are part of the CONGREGATION family now!

With love,

BIRD

Editorial Note from Librarian. “I refused to edit this. Stop asking me to.“