You know it’s a great American tradition that no one really cares for? Friendsgiving. You see, I wasn’t married, and neither were my friends.
But we all had to go back to our families for the actual Thanksgiving. This meant that before that happened, we were going to be doing our own thanksgivings together with friends.
This year, with both my friends now being tied up in amicable relationships that might last through till the end of the year or later, they had to push Friendsgiving about as early as it could go with. Just so happened to be that weekend.
“Now remember Kelly, you promise no talking about DOTA during Friendsgiving,” Amir said, pouring me a glass of wine.
“It’s not talking about it. If I’m playing it,” I said, unloading my laptop into the little Lan setup that we used on the second floor of her law office.
“I’m not going to say you’re wrong, because I don’t sleep any games as well. Everyone else gets here. After all. We got stuff to cook.”
“I can agree with that,” I said. “Bring me what I need and let’s get it on.”
“Let’s get what on?” Leigh said, peeking out from the back.
“I said what’s going on.” I moved closer to her to embrace her in a big hug.
“You know I’m good for you, baby. Mama will treat you so nice.”
“I’ve been looking for a good sugar mama,” she said, leaning in with a predatory grin.
I could see Amir twitching, as he had to be rebooting his systems and trying to recalibrate to this new version of reality. He was still holding my wine glass.
“Oh no! I think we just did a hard reset on your boyfriend,” I said. “Maybe we need to work harder?”
“I feel like you’ve never played student meets professor, and it shows,” I said, and I swear to you. She blushed harder than an actor about to get on the red carpet.
“Hello Leigh,” he said.
“Hi!” She pecked him on the cheek, staring directly at me.
“Stop trying to add to your harem,” Amir said. “Unless Leigh consents.”
“This is not a harem situation,” I said.
“Yeah, this is more of a business arrangement.”
I could see Amir once again trying to determine whether he wanted to refute our claims and get even further into the strangest argument of his life, or if he was just going to embrace the silliness of it all.
“I hope you had a good deal, he said. Kelly isn’t cheap after all. You know that’s Korean Spa on the Hudson River? She’s all about that life.”
“Oh, girl, we need to go,” Leigh said. “The last time I went, I was there to take some photos for my dating profile, and wow.”
She kind of waved in the general vicinity over here as he poured her a drink.
“I know it’s just these men that just keep putting you in relationships against your will and then being switched into that you don’t want to leave. It’s the worst,” I said.
“You both are so lovely and I’m so glad that you’ve decided to be friends.”
Emil left the room. We were trying to check on something. I’ll be honest, I showed up early to see if I could get a game off. Amira told me that something to come up with one of his cases and he needed to check something.
“So how was work?” I said. “You’re about to have that Holiday Rush, are you not?”
“I mean, it’s medicine. It’s the same shit different day. Sometimes it comes in a different or sometimes it has a silly name. But most of all, I’m just doing my rounds.”
“Right, of course. Didn’t you have a kid?” I said.
“He’s with his father right now.”
I gave her a knowing nod. It was hot out here for a single mom. Thankfully, She kind of had a good job in a good area. So, I doubted she was feeling the pinch, but it had to be tough to be the primary caregiver and then work 12-hour shifts.
“I don’t know how you do it,” I said. “I would be dead ass tired after working that long.”
“It’s not like I’m doing something the entire time. A lot of the time I’m on. Call or just doing a lot of notes on the computer. When shit comes down that I have to do something? Then it’s serious and then I want to be working. But for the most part, we have nurses to get care of all this stuff.”
“I feel like I should ask about why you got divorced, but you know what instead? I’m going to ask you how your divorce is going. Everyone always asks how people how their marriage is going. No one ever asks how the divorce going. How’s that going for you?”
She took a long sip of her wine.
“In the spirit that as it was asked, I’m just going to say that divorce has been great to me. I recommended it to everybody. In fact, I recommended two divorces.”
“Is that a professional or a personal opinion?”
“That is a professional opinion. Two divorces. If you can’t figure out who you are after that, then you should probably just quit. There’s only so much you can do when you can’t hold it down with someone.”
Amir reentered the room.
“Oh, is she on about this two divorce this thing again?” he asked.
“I’m just saying the idea is merit and it builds character. You want to be a better person, right?”
“Leigh, what I am not going to do is quickly marry and divorce you so you can tell me that you’re a twice over divorcee just to prove a point in an argument. And do not give me those puppy dog eyes. That is just so much work.”
She was really laying on the puppy dog eyes thick.
“Divorces are not like circumcisions. They don’t get better just because you’ve had two,” Amir said.
“Again, that’s not medically possible or advisable,” Leigh said.
“I’m just saying,” Amir said, spreading his arms wide. “You could instead be the goth girl or something. Being divorced twice isn’t that interesting.”
“Demure divorcees might want to have a word with you,” I said.
“Very demure,” she said.
“Very tasteful,” I replied.
“Could either demure or tasteful help me with these appetizers?” Stacey said from down the hall.
Amir sprinted. Or at least he did the walking version of a Sprint of someone who was trying to get out of a silly conversation.
“You know your boyfriend is such a silly goose,” I said.
“I tell him that all the time, he just needs to embrace his inner honk.”
“He used to be a peacock.”
“We all used to be peacocks.”
“I will toast to that,” I said. “I am no longer going to peacock for any man or woman.”
“I heard that Mr. Johnston has a brother.”
I nearly spit my drink out. I looked around. “Where?”
“So, you do have a heart somewhere there? Probably buried under five layers of haterade powder.”
“I’ll have you know that my heart‘s above my daily allotment of haterade. It’s not my fault that hating is just making me so buoyant. It’s supposed to be the voice of reason. It’s tough to be the voice of all haters.”
“I’m working on the actual Thanksgiving this year,” she said. “I was planning on taking my son to see my side of the family, but it looks like he’ll be with his dad.”
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“And you’re okay with that?”
“Well, it’s fine,” she said. “We knew this was going to happen, so at least I got Christmas.”
“That sounds like a lot of silly logistics for no reason. To do you think you’re going to want another one?”
Her face changed so fast, I felt like I got whiplash.
“I can’t tell you how closed up that shop is. It’s been closed for about 10 years now and it’s not reopening soon. In fact, because of my shop closing up, other girls’ shops might close up as well. So, maybe you should think about if that’s something you want to have in your shop.”
She took a sip. “This metaphor wet the bed and blamed it on his imaginary friend.”
“So, does he really have a hot brother?” I said, à propos for nothing and for no reason except to keep the conversation going. Yep, there was no reason at all that I would drive at that line of questioning.
“Stacey finally met his family, and yes. Girl. When I tell you he works at a gym and it shows,” Leigh said. “Stacey and I stalked his social media.”
“You guys did a collab? When was this and why wasn’t involved?”
If they were going to creep on a guy, I wanted to be a party to it.
They took a moment to bring up the evidence of their misdeeds, a testament to girls trying to glean more information about the men in their orbits.
“You’re on his linked in profile,” I said, expanding exhibit A: his various qualifications that had to have been upvoted by a legion of his fans. “He’s got several industry certifications that I’ve never even heard of. This sounds like someone that just took every course in the book.”
“Or got his company to pay for it,” Stacey said, showing me his TikTok. “Here he is, showing his certificates off.”
“Okay, so he’s an accountant? A certified public accountant?”
The fine man was doing a dance to the sound of lemonade. Or more accurately, he was doing that part with the baseball bat before the crescendo that looked pulled straight from the music video. I was digging it.
“Tell me you did a background check on him as well,” I said.
Stacey flashed a pile of papers from the corner. “You know it. I’m all about this. This is privileged information.”
“Is that a random stack of paper?” I asked.
“So, what if it is?” she said, holding it menacingly. It felt like she was super serious about it or she was pulling my leg.
I was going to let it go. If he had a rap sheet, they probably would have stopped there. But they were still showing me several pieces of social media before I had really gotten it.
“He’s an influencer, isn’t he?” I said. “He does informational content creation.”
“That’s a bingo!” Leigh said.
“He is trying to be an influencer? At our age? I thought that hustle culture was dead and buried.”
I would not look down on the man for trying his best to do what he was doing, but I had to wonder if he might be stretched a bit too thin. Of course, he might just be bored or super ADHD. That was almost more likely, to be honest.
“How is Mister Johnston…how does he feel about us creeping on his influencer brother?”
Leigh shimmied. “He encouraged us to do so. It helps his brand.”
Stacey held out an empty wine glass.
My phone rang, and it was Rachel. I hadn’t even noticed that she was missing from the party but it made sense that she was running late.
“I’m sorry. Let me step out so I can take this. It’s Rachel,” I said.
I turn on the phone and press it to my ear and immediately regretted it. She was screaming.
And now I want you to understand that this was not the scream of a girl afraid of something. This was a happy scream.
I held the phone out and, in fact, put it on speaker as she let it out.
“Hello, you’ve reached Professor Kelly Thomas, where we don’t just scream right in the ear of somebody who’s picked up.”
“Kellie! I got another client!”
“You did?” I said. “You did!”
Stacy, Leigh and I were all screaming.
It took us about half a minute to calm down.
Amir poked his head out from the kitchen. He then wisely poked his head back into the kitchen and disappeared.
Amir might be a typical man, looking to save the day, but when there was actual work to do, he disappeared. Now I’m going to go out of limb here and say that Amir was not typical at all and he was a great guy. It was that I had some biases that I needed to interrogate.
It’s just that so many men set the bar on the floor and I was just expecting a little more from the company. I kept. As evidenced by the fact that it was a small yet rowdy crowd celebrating a very tiny victory, or at least what felt like a tiny victory.
“Is that why you’re late I said?”
“Of course. I’ll be there in five minutes. But he just sent me a text message, and I had to pull over because I was so excited.”
“Girl, get your ass over here,” I said. “Stop calling us while you’re driving.”
“Yes Mom,” she said.
“Do we know if she’s actually going to date Esther or not?” Stacy said.
“We do not know that. Just because Esther writes smut about lesbians doesn’t mean that she is a lesbian herself. She just likes a tender soft touch from a feminine-looking person. And just because Rachel is a feminine-looking person with a soft, tender touch and a motherly disposition doesn’t mean that she is... Oh my God.”
“You’re seeing now too. Aren’t you?” Stacey said.
“I’m seeing it now. I mean, I would be happy for them if they did something, but I also am totally blind to that because I was just so excited about their little successes that maybe I was missing the forest for the trees.”
“I think that you are missing the forest for the lesbians,” Leigh said.
“That is hurtful and perhaps accurate,” I said.
“I would like to be known for my sharp biting wit as I do not want to be known for anything in medicine except for just showing up and doing what I’m supposed to do.”
“No one wants to be known for their failures. We just know you because you decided to date our friend and we’re never letting you leave.”
“Hear hear,” Amir said, returning with the 1st of many dishes. “I heard that Rachel’s almost here, so let’s get everything set up for her and let’s get this party on.”
I couldn’t agree more with him and set to helping him with the catering. Almost Mr. Johnston and Rachel arrived and the reason I could tell you they arrived was because she again screamed her happy scream to him and he was grinning like a fool.
“Did you guys hear about this? Somebody wants to pay her to train them and train their DOTA team. Who would do that?” He said.
The entire room shifted uncomfortably, and exactly zero people had their eyes on me at that precise moment. In fact, it was almost like a concerted effort to not look at me.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” he said. “Hello all!”
“Hello,” I said. “Congratulations Rachel!”
“If this heats up, then I might pay my tuition without having to take out any loans.”
When she said that it was like something from the back of my head had just wormed its way into being and I realized that what I was trying to do was work from within the system to get tuition and scholarships for my esports team.
It was, of course, another way. Some may call it a darker way. Because the funding source itself would be variable.
That used to say very well unless I controlled it. Took a second to think about the implications of her being able to pay for a tuition just through teaching kids to play esports or preparing a team how we prepare the team. If we got a team together to train others and they could use my skills and her skills together, they would in time reach professional level. The Bulldogs were already eclipsing anything I’d even thought possible after just this season playing with them. What if this was something I could do more regularly with the team?
My mind raced with possibilities. If Private industry could fund what we were doing, then I could direct the scholarships. I’m not ashamed to admit that I kind of tuned out of the conversation for a minute as I went to go get my plate and went automatically through the line of dishes I just set up. It was only when Rachel tapped me on the shoulder that I realized she was trying to say something for a little
“Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I was trying to say that with a couple more of these, then I could really see myself having a great job and building a career out of this.”
“I was just thinking about the same thing. You’re a great trainer and if we got together, me managing a team you, we could really do some damage.”
I set my plate down and Rachel said it’s down next to me. Apparently she’d be following me through the line as I had distractively thought about the potential of turning the patch from a mild annoyance into actual money.
Heck, it was not even about the money. I could turn it into generational wealth if I played my cards right. I would just need the right amount of people to pay me money to train their kids or to train a team so that they could win a prize purse at the end of the year. There were too many rich people here that would just sign a blank check to someone to train their kids. It would be hard to argue with actual results. There are all the intangibles surrounding education and like what you actually get out of it, but if I could just show that they actually win matches, then I could prove my worth and then it would just sell.
Or at least it would be a viable product that someone would buy. Well, this specific instance would be a service. It would pay me for a service to train their kids to get better at playing at MOBA. It wasn’t the most glamorous of jobs, but it was definitely a job that could be done. And it could definitely be done with the people I had around me and just a little of a tweak in what we’re doing. Our Tuesday night sessions could be double or triple the amount of teams. Teams. And the entire time, I could gain points in the patch and unlock new stuff and advance Rachel’s skills, as well as my own skills.
“You’re doing it again,” Rachel said. “Can you pass the salt?”
I discreetly handed it over to her. It wasn’t like Stacy had cooked the stuff herself. G was going to have to do it.
“How’s your mom doing, by the way?” She asked.
“You know they give them this special salt-like substance because they can’t have salt.”
“I’ve never heard of that.”
“Like she wants to experience the full breath of life and flavor. But her kidneys are telling her no. She can’t even eat star fruit and that wasn’t even the thing that she wanted to, but now she’s like obsessed with it.”
“Because of her dialysis?” Rachel said.
“Because of her situation,” I said. I lifted the cranberry sauce to my mouth. It would have been sweeter had I made it from scratch, but who had the time nowadays? I mean, I did, but in this economy? It’s just a lot.
“I understand.”
“So tell me about this client. Who is it and what’s going on with that?”
“Well, it turns out that one of our high-end guys was tired of dealing directly with the boss. Joe and here’s the problem. Here’s where it gets. Really weird. I thought he was trying to ask me on a date when he asked for my number, but then he clarified that this was about something else. So he has his son come in and he wants his son to get better, so he wanted me to put together a training regimen for them.”
I nodded, enjoying the canned cranberry as much as I could.
“He wanted to go directly to me and basically I had no issues going around the boss. He just quit working with the boss one day and took his business to me. And now that’s going to be part of my regular weekly schedule.”
“It’s like you’re able to get back at your boss and take the money out that he would have taken 90% of. I like it. When is this starting? It’s an odd time to start because it’s almost Thanksgiving.”
“It’s starting this week,” she said. “There’s one more full week of school before that little week where Thanksgiving is. I know you know because it’s our last game of the season, but I was hoping that we could maybe talk about a collaboration.”
I leaned in. “What are you talking about? Rachel, you want me to come work with you? I thought you worked for me?”
“Well, maybe I need to hire an outside contractor and I just so have to know the best manager in the business.”
I’m not going to lie y’all. I had trouble not cracking a wide ass smile at that exact point in time.
“You know flattery will get you everywhere. But I’m sorry you’re a little young for me.”
“That’s all right,” she said. "I prefer an experienced older woman."
The dead pan was strong with her and I once again had no idea. Perhaps that was her intent all along.
"Don't we all."
"The turkey is ready!" Stacey said. "Dig in before Kelly tries to ask it to play DOTA."
"Oh come on, guys I would never... Stop staring at me!"