There is a kind of thing that happened at the end of every semester when students know that they have something that's due.
Have they done it? Maybe. They have to have it done if they want to do well.
It's like a panic, but in my email.
So when they haven't kept up I have to to refer them to my rules and syllabus. You know that thing that they have to have read? It turns out that reading is difficult. It's definitely not elementary.
There is an epidemic of children who take my courses... And are selectively illiterate. Oh they can read when they want to. They just don't want to. It's a small group, at least.
I'll differentiate these children here from students. Students read my syllabus. I am an easy professor. Or rather I should say, I have simple expectations.
These children have decided that they think they can get away with something just because this is a business class and a community college. I stand fully ready to disabuse that notion. You'll need not only a pulse in my class, but also a functioning cerebellum.
I'm not trying to gatekeep academia. I'm just enforcing a little bit of my peace.
My peace was quickly dashed when I arrived for office hours.
Gladys has decided that this was the monday to try me.
"Professor Thomas, we have to leave the door open and unlocked," she said.
"But... Let's just pretend for a minute that it just so happens to be broken and closed. That would make my office hours so much quieter."
She pulled her glasses down. "You can just pretend to have a something personal going on, Professor. A family emergency, perhaps?"
I gave her the look. I didn't want to do that. They would complain to the dean. Then I would have to listen to that.
"It's like they are trying to get a better grade... Without working. They're not even offering me a good bribe."
"Yes. If they put half of the effort they put into their late semester requests as they did earlier on, they would of course all be A plus students, no doubt. You taught them how to make a good bribe in class?" She sipped a coffee that I had brought her from the Dunkin donuts downstairs, for not particular reason. I didn't have to write down how she liked her cup of joe.
"I'm just saying that if you pretend that the door was broken and that they were going to have to come back later, then I could pretend that you know how it is."
She was definitely trying my patience when she propped the door open.
Of course there was a lot of students ready to talk to me. I wasn't the only one holding office hours on that fateful Monday. I was just the one that happened to be in.
"All right, who's first to see professor Thomas," Gladys said, as if she needed to drop the secret that I was actually there. They knew I was there.
Gladys was not going to get her secondary bribe at this rate. The succulent chocolate that had been earmarked for her found it's way to my mouth.
Other people's food tasted even more delicious than my own.
"First student," I said, ready to hear the story about how that grandmother had passed away. No, not that one, the other one, it was always the other grandmother that hadn't been the one that passed earlier on in the year.
So many grandmothers died in the semesters when I held classes early in the morning. That's why I had work to get them to be later in the day. Really, it was a shame.
They semester that I stopped having early classes, I saved so many grandmothers.
So. Many.
I make sure that they understood that there was a practical component to the course which is going to be a big part of their grade because I don't have to deal with AI essays. I wanted them to understand the material so they can actually put into practice. Heck at that point I would have giving them extra credit to get Gladys to lock the door.
Imagine that.
I am just thinking about how I could them to do my bidding, without offering five points on a quiz. Be worth the risk of me being found out just so that I would not deal with the kids.
Probably.
But they already knew I was here so it was kind of a moot point.
Most small businesses fail. This is understood but if you take the lessons fr.om the ones that fail then maybe you can understand why they fail and maybe you can make it better. Despite most small business businesses failing within two years, most businesses in America are small businesses. That means that somebody understands what they're doing and why they're doing it.
It was with no small amount of earned trepidation that I opened my office hours in that gentle week before the half week that demarcated Thanksgiving.
My line wasn't long but I was intending to sneak out Indiana Jones style. Professors loved Harrison Ford for his stirring portrayal of professional misconduct.
Then I saw Esther at the front of the line. I might not sneak out today.
"Well if you follow what's in the syllabus, you will do alright," I said, ushering one student out. "Be certain to turn in the remaining work on time."
I gave my student a firm nod as they exited. That guy was statistically about to fail out of college, unfortunately. It was hard when they didn't put in an effort.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
"Is this about next semester?" I said.
"Hey boss lady, I'm going to be honest with you right now. My mom doesn't drive."
"I'm sorry?"
"So my cousins are coming from Korea and they're arriving on Thursday night this week and I need to pick them up."
"What does it have to do with anything?"
My heart sank. It took me a second to realize what she was trying to tell me.
"I... I Didn't expect that, but I understand. You helped us take team to places I had never dreamed of. You made the team. Without you? I wouldn't be struggling to think about which hotel to book for Atlantic City. Thanks to you, we're probably heading there after finals."
She visibly relaxed. "I was dreading what you were going to say next."
She put her head down on the floor.
"You gotta take them all around, huh?" I said.
"It's the sacred job of the eldest daughter."
I definitely understood the position. I was also an eldest daughter. It's a thing that you have to accept in your responsibility for. No one wants the life, but when you are born into it, you adapt. She had it worse since she was the first generation to be born here. Well no, we had the same problem. She had it worse because she cared.
I had long since stopped caring about my mother's tantrums and excentricites. Sure I would love her until the day she died but I just couldn't get worked up about whatever thing of the week that was bothering her.
"Well, we will have to make do. Your teammates got really good this semester," I said. "You'll be there for the finals, right?"
"Yes and the school finals as well. It's just an awkward time frame and I didn't know that I was going to be doing that."
She gave me a look that said that she didn't know how to reactivate that. This wasn't her original plan. Was she willing to go along with it? Yes. But this was pretty far from what you'd expected for herself and therefore maybe she was looking for some help.
"Do you need help paying for the hotel room?" I said.
She covered her face with her hands.
"That would be great. It's just that I am kind of relying on your charity here and I'm hoping that this can help with tuition," she said.
"Have you talked to Rachel about what she's doing? I have a feeling that you might be really good at that."
"It's hard for me to connect with people. I hate selling."
"Esther, tell me about your favorite character in DOTA."
She beamed.
"Freya the mouse druid has this special auto attack that does a bit of poison damage over time. She's a great jungler and she can have four poison counters on more stacked on an enemy. So if you stack... You're trying to prove a point."
I loved it when people just got something I was trying to get. I was trying to get her to understand that she would be among her people. People think that sales is about cold calling somebody and it's about going door-to-door. But really what you're trying to find is somebody who might be interested in your product and telling them about the product. If they are amenable. People that have already walked into in esports academy location know what they're getting into. They probably already played a little bit and even if it's the first time, they're probably already a gamer.
Esther would have to do very little selling and more working. Especially together with Rachel who was like the best sales girl I had ever met, they would make an amazing team. Or they would make an incredible married couple, whatever happened.
"Listen. You're not going to be cold calling anyone," I said. "Talk to Rachel. Ask her about her real experiences. I guarantee that it's going to make way more sense. Maybe you'll make enough to pay for medical school by winning tournaments."
"What did you say?"
"I said maybe you'll make enough prize money to pay for medical school?"
If you've ever seen hunger in someone's eyes you'll understand how I felt like a hot dog in a cart at one AM right by the path station as all of the drunks returned from their nights out at the city.
"Tell me more," she said.
I gulped.
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Our last regular game of the season was a home game. Esther was doing laps around JFK airport waiting for her cousins to be arrived. She was lighting up the group chat with memes hours before our opponents arrived. Heck I hadn't even begun to set up.
Rachel had gotten there early.
"So if I get two more clients like this..." she said. "I can really make this work."
"That would be perfect. Then world domination?"
"Then world domination."
"It's tough to dig yourself up and out to become the second self made female billionaire, but with your guidance, we can do it."
I was touched that she wanted to include me in her world domination plans. There was nothing more romantic than hearing that. Well maybe someone coming up to me and offering me two million dollars because of how pretty I was. Those odds were slim.
"Okay, so without Esther, you're our ringer. Did you think about any changes you want to make since practice?"
"No it was good to have her in practice though. Putting her on the B team was a challenge."
Esther leading the opposing team against Rachel was a good way to showcase how far the A and B teams had gone. Both had a great showing, and I'd netted points for all four games that we got to in the two hour practice time.
"So are you sad?" she said, finishing off her blue ox drink.
"Who, me? It's just the end of a semester. You're not going to be up all night after that?"
"That's the thing, Professor. I'm always up all night."
She tossed her can. If her throw had been graded on how athletic it appeared, she would have gotten an A. If it was judged on how badly she whiffed it, she would be driving home in a silent car.
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There wasn't that big of a buzz in the student center. We'd gotten the spot next to the donut shop in Pitkin. It was high traffic and it felt just right.
Students were passing by asking about what we were doing. Finals were threatening us but we're on the horizon, not the next island in view. That evening we were fighting our last opponent of the regular season and Racquel and Murph were recruiting.
"Join the Bulldogs eSports club and DOTA team! Gank fools!" she said.
"You'll meet your newest best friends," Murph said, handing out pamphlets.
Unlike a four year college, there were no dorms at Bergen. That meant that everyone was a commuter.
It also meant that everyone in the parking spot. They were about 9,000 spots you could park in right outside including a two-story parking deck. Plenty of room for a party or an esports match especially if you want the other team to come by and bring the whole family. Not that they did that.
Raritan Valley showed up with only their team, manager and back ups. They had a long ride back so they wanted to get started early. Only took a little bit of arranging for us to start at 5:30 instead of 6:00 and that kind of made all the difference. It meant that they were missing more shower traffic on the way and that we would be done by 7:30 so they would be after rush hour traffic on the way back. I fell for them really, they were probably the furthest from us in terms of distance. It was going to be difficult for them to make up their losses. So far the head a pretty bad season overall. We were in a spot where we only lost two.
We had one three games out of the season. If we won this game we would be up for women's services to losses and that would solidifier position for the finals. And then all I need to worry about would be faster we actually show up or not. I really wanted to be able to jump into the game but it was kind of against the rules. I can play with them during practice that was encouraged especially when somebody dropped out. Those were some of the most fun moments.
Raritan Valley rolled out and started their setup as their manager came to speak with me.
"Thanks for having us here thanks for having the next one dunkin' donuts I heard that they stayed open late for us so I appreciate that. I've definitely forgot to get dinner on the way here," The flustered manager said. She looked to be a new professor well above her head.
"Professor Cate?" I said, to the woman who could be no one else.
"Professor Thomas!" she said. "Thank you for hosting us! I haven't been up here in forever. Did you talk with the ref yet?"
"Unfortunately yes. It's the same schpiel."
"Good. Good."
"Shall we?"
We approached the referee together. It was the one that had been there for our last home match. He quickly went over the rules and I couldn't get through it faster.
The kids were ready.
I was ready.
Last match of the season? Time to lock in.