"God fucking dammit," Jack growled to himself for the umpteenth time in the space of ten minutes. "Why does everything in this fucking galaxy want to kill me?"
"That's a bit of a leap." Vanya put an arm on his shoulder, trying and failing to calm him down and downplay her worrying revelation. "I mean, the Cult of the Destroyer seeks to kill everyone and everything in the galaxy in the name of their god, so one way or another they were coming after you anyway!"
Jack, Sephy, Nika and Vanya had just been assigned to one computer console by their teacher that reminded Jack of a stereotypical 'mad scientist' from a Saturday morning cartoon. She was highly enthusiastic but prone to go on crazy tangents that the human had no way of understanding, though she was aware that Jack was both new to the school and an Outsider, so instructed him to primarily observe the others as they worked, giving him a cheatsheet of the various basic functions he would need to know to operate a school console. However, Sephy quickly told him not to bother as the consoles were very old tech that was never seen outside of the school due to an exclusivity contract when it was first established.
"Who the fuck would sign up to a cult that wants to basically end existence?" Jack ranted. "Couldn't the fucking edgelords of the galaxy come up with something less grim at least? I'm guessing this means I'm next on their 'to destroy' list?"
"Not necessarily," Vanya mused. "I've been following the Skinsaw Slasher's antics for a while now and they've never announced a target like that. Usually it's a bunch of nonsensical things about how the Destroyer will wipe out all realities, but some others depict events yet to happen. It's why there's rumours about the Skinsaw Slasher being a prophet of catastrophe."
"Or it just means that's how the Cult is gonna cause havoc next," Nika snorted. "It's how they've been thwarted in the past when inquisitors work out what the message means and lead squads to the red zone. You'd think if they could actually predict stuff they'd see the Killer Klown coming, but nothing predicted that."
Jack raised his eyebrows at Vanya. "You follow the Cult's antics?"
"No!" Vanya laughed. "Just the Skinsaw Slasher so I can report on it. The Cult itself is mostly made up of some posters here at school and a bunch of lunatics that occasionally gather to do crazy shit unless they're put down, which usually happens in the cities. The Slasher on the other hand? At least they're unique and interesting."
Jack's eyebrows went even higher as he allowed a slight smile.
"Oh come on!" Vanya playfully rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know it's unfortunate for the victims and the sooner the Killer is stopped the better, but there are so many questions! Who are they? How do they select a victim? What set them on this path? And why the scary murals?"
Jack finally nodded his head in understanding. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Back where I came from some of the most popular TV shows we watched involved killers and murders."
"But I guess it feels a little differently when you're directly involved somehow," Sephy concluded, having finished reading the instructions on the console screen in front of her.
"I suppose you're right," Vanya concluded with a sigh. "But I'm not messing around when I say the Cult isn't a huge threat here. Most cells and individuals aren't exactly subtle and sooner seek their own destruction as much as that of others. There are a few exceptions, obviously, but even then, most of those smart ones keep away from the cities, especially one’s with such a massive church presence!"
"Well, either way," Jack replied with a nervous sigh. "They've added themselves to the pot of shit I've got hanging over me right now."
"We'll take down whatever comes!" Nika grinned, trying to reinstall the group's confidence. "We've faced worse!"
"Yeah!" Sephy agreed. "They come for us, we'll kick their asses!"
"Alright." Jack sighed again. He was still alive, for now at least, and it was true he had been a huge threat to anyone and anything they had fought.
You are a 'deathworlder', remember? he thought to himself. Act like it!
"So I don't know the first thing about what this is." Jack pointed at the console, changing the subject. "Computers here are completely different from back home!"
"I'm not surprised," Sephy admitted with a sigh. "There's no one defining computer system that's standard among the galaxy, which makes it a pain in the ass for even me at times. However, most of the modern stuff is, at its core, number-based software with mental cyberware integration since those two things are more of a constant."
"So that means you can basically hook yourself in and play around on different types of systems even if they're old or not widely used?" Jack asked, trying to follow along.
"In basic terms, yes," Sephy nodded excitedly. "The more you do it the more you know what to look for. But that's the advanced stuff, come here!"
She patted the centre of the table where some kind of control pad was as Jack swallowed his pride and shunted his seat over to it.
"You've been working with the commlink I gave you, and I know you can kinda use it." Sephy grinned. "This setup is a little similar. On detecting a new user it's going to show a bunch of buttons you can press. All you need to do to calibrate yourself to the system is to select only what you can perceive."
"Oooookay," Jack replied unsurely as a bunch of selections showed up, but curiously, he couldn't see any symbols on most of the buttons whatsoever.
"Trippy as hell right?" Nika grinned on seeing Jack's 'WTF' expression. "Mmnetic translators are dead useful, but since this is an old machine it needs to eliminate the stuff you don't need first. Imagine trying to type with billions of letters and symbols to choose from!"
"Yeah." Jack snorted with amusement as he quickly went through more screens, finally finishing as the pool of symbols quickly got smaller. "So what are we actually meant to be doing?"
"It's usually a bunch of simulations," Vanya replied. "Not really programming and stuff, more vocational stuff and knowing how to use common software."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when a bunch of megacorps fund this place." Sephy sighed. "Training us all up to be good little wageslaves by compiling manifests, data entry and making presentations. Completely soulless and basic."
"At least this one tries to be interesting," Vanya pointed out, looking at the sheet of paper they had been given. "This simulation involves spaceship calibrations, and some of the later ones even involve drift travel!"
"At least that sounds fun!" Nika perked up.
The group worked together on going through the scenario, running software that would regulate the precise ship angles needed to travel to other systems, along with several on-board ship systems that were needed. Despite being a complete novice and stressing out a little trying to keep up with the others, Jack had a lot of fun!
"If only we had a ship of our own." Nika sighed wistfully.
"Unfortunately quite expensive unless you get one as a hand-me-down," Vanya replied. "And even then, the cheapest would only be for in-system capable flight and only good for asteroid mining, assuming there are any left."
"How much did we make over the weekend?" Jack asked, thinking. Even though Hive Station Bastilla was possibly billions of times the size of Earth, it'd still be cool to explore other places in the galaxy as well!
"Not enough for something worth flying!" Sephy laughed, giving Jack a knowing look as she added with a low whisper, "though maybe when I go through our data we'll find something that can lead to another payday! We'll just have to be happy with the hot tub for now!"
"You guys are getting a hot tub?!" Vanya jumped up in excitement, almost licking her lips as she looked at Jack.
Jack sighed.
The end of day announcements were a little crazy sounding to Jack, though the lack of reaction from the others told him this was probably normal. Apparently, a considerable amount of food had been stolen from one of the cafeterias and several students had gone missing that day, but apart from that there was nothing else to report. No sooner than Mrs Schlart had dismissed them, Sephy and Nika had tried to hurry him straight to Deathball practice, but despite everything that had happened to Jack that weekend, he remembered a promise he’d made.
Or more accurately, he couldn’t avoid it.
"Hey Jack!" one of the Hoduth triplets greeted him as all three of them surrounded him almost immediately after they had been dismissed for the day.
"Hey ladies!" Jack tried, and failed, to reply suavely. "I was told you wanted to talk to me? I don't think we've been properly introduced?"
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"Yes!" another chirped up. "Foreman Laandun met you! You remembered!"
"Sure…" Jack replied a little awkwardly, not sure what else to say.
"Well!" the first one continued, being slightly taller than the other two. "I'm Sveta!"
"I'm Greta!" the second one, who was slightly chubbier, giggled.
"And I'm Loretta!" the third one spoke up with a flirty smile, who had slightly bigger….assets than her sisters. "We were basically wondering what kind of arrangement you wish for us…."
"Uh…." Jack asked, unsure where this was going. "I don't know what you mean?"
"Well…" Greta giggled. "Would you prefer one of us in particular, maybe alternate on occasion, or…" she put her arm around Jack and pressed close against him, "all three of us at the same time?"
"Are you shitting me?" Sephy yelled, her voice raising an octave at the brazen offer they were making. "No! No! None of that is on the table right now!"
Sveta looked a little shocked. "You mean you have already…"
She stopped, looking at something behind Jack. Turning around, everyone saw Chiyo with a calm look of rage that promised immediate murder.
“And on that note, we have Deathball practice!” Nika grinned, as she and Sephy did their best to drag Jack away from the impending shitstorm.
“We have a party happening on the weekend!” Loretta called after them. “Everyone’s invited!”
“Sounds good! Speak to Alora about it!” Sephy called back as they hurriedly exited.
“Hoduth and their damn mating rights…” Nika chucked to herself. “I mean, Luvia already tried, so someone else was gonna be bold enough to ask at some point.”
“I haven’t really seen much of Luvia today,” Jack noted.
“She’s around, Chiyo said she has a few mystic-related classes today so your schedules aren’t really gonna cross that much.” Sephy grinned. “Though she did ask about you.”
"Great…" Jack deadpanned. "So what kind of Deathball training are we even doing?"
"Vaal is the team captain, so I guess it'll be getting you acquainted with the rest of the team, teaching you the fundamental principles, and going through some drills," Nika explained. "So we'll wait and see. We have a game at the end of this week, I think, so there should be plenty of time."
"I overheard Vaal saying he'll probably be having the rest of us try to get past you, Jack." Sephy grinned. "Intensive training for you, and for us!"
"No pressure, right?" Jack smiled. Now that he was here, he was no longer anxious with anticipation.
This was hopefully gonna be fun!
******
"Alright guys, we might have a new Charger on the team, so be nice and don't scare him off before he agrees to join us officially!" Vaal grinned as everyone met up in the centre of the smaller sports hall they had rented from the School Council. Jack couldn't help but notice that everyone had changed and gotten ready much quicker this time compared to the official physical classes they had. Either the team was really looking forward to practice, or everyone really hated the classes. Jack suspected the latter.
"So I think most of you either know Jack directly or have at least seen him," Vaal continued, "But for those that don't, he's a new student in Astara House and he's the one that kicked several of our asses last week alongside Nika, and who almost murdered Izadora Mal'Kar and a bunch of her Prefects this morning for no particular reason! So, naturally, I invited him to join us after a few of you agreed with me that he'd be a good fit."
He gave Jack a quick smirk to show he was only messing around.
"So in the spirit of making sure we’re all acquainted, you’re all going to introduce yourselves to Jack and tell him what your role in the team is, what you do as part of that role and explain what that means to someone who’s never played or heard of Deathball before!”
“Really Vaal? A fucking icebreaker?” Nika sighed. “We interning for EgoCorp now?”
“I couldn’t think of anything better!” Vaal snorted. “At least you don’t have to make it cringe and include two truths and a lie! But since you want to complain, you can go first!”
“Oh fine.” Nika rolled her eyes before giving Jack an exaggerated smile as she sarcastically began. “Hi there Jack! I don’t know if you remember who I am, but I’m Nika! I’m a Charger, just like you might be with sufficient bribery! It’s my job to get one of the balls into the scoring zone and win us points! I do this by getting past everyone trying to stop me and defeating the Keeper since I’m pretty good at evading and kicking ass!”
“Plooderoo, you’re next!” Vaal pointed to the Ploothe.
“Well Jack, I’m the team’s Keeper, and I protect the goal to the best of my ability. Since I don’t need to move so much, I can fully extend my tentacles to swat away the opposing Chargers!”
“You didn’t introduce yourself, but I guess that counts!” Vaal grinned. “Next?”
“Hello Jack, we’re in the same form class but haven’t properly been introduced…” The voice belonged to the blue-skinned, aquatic-looking boy who had asked him about his gods. “I’m Arlox, and I work as one of the two Protectors on the team with Crill, using magic to fortify my teammates and help defend the goal.”
“I’ll go next for the last of the roles,” Vaal spoke up. “I’m Vaal, Team Captain, and I’m one of the five Warders that intercept the opposing team, cover the Chargers and help manipulate the field of play.”
The roles reminded Jack a little of football, though with the exception of the Keeper, they were far more complex. Arlox and Crill, the Protectors of the team, were both magically active and served to provide overwatch on the rest of the team astrally, often not expected to be able to physically do much against the Chargers.
Along with Nika and possibly himself, Kizzarith was the third Charger since he was quick, he could fly, and he was batshit crazy.
Sephy and Kritch joined Vaal as Warders, with Sephy being able to open and close doors on more complex fields of play, while Kritch was considerably stealthy and had stories of going through vents and other enclosed spaces to sneak a ball over to the Chargers. Rounding off the team were Karzen and Bentom, two tough-looking armadillo-like beings that were pretty good at blocking and trapping opponents, and fending off the occasional spectator.
“And now that you kind-of know what we do, it’s time to practise!” Vaal gave an evil grin. “Jack, stand next to me please, everyone else against the far wall!”
They did so, Jack not knowing what Vaal had planned, but he had a good guess based on what Sephy told him.
“So!” The Eladra clapped. “Since we lost our last game we need to work on giving the enemy team the slip and avoiding their attempts to stop us scoring goals. To that end, you need to get to the other side of the room and avoid Jack!”
A series of groans came from the far wall. They were not looking forward to this!
“Kizzarith!” Vaal called. “You’re first!”
“Um?!” the Leethlux called out. “Sorry I can’t do it right now as I…errr….have a broken penis! Ooh! Ow! It hurts!”
“Jack, would you mind?” Vaal asked with a mean grin, pointing at the yellow-bellied insectoid. Jack shrugged and started walking forward.
“Oh no! Shit! Vaal, you’re an asshole!” Kizzarith yelled as he walked to meet Jack. “Listen, Jack, you don’t need to do what he says, alright? Maybe we can just do this pea-SIKE!” The Leethflux tried to trick Jack as he feigned bowing in deference to him before quickly leaping high in an attempt to fly above the human.
It didn’t work.
Jack had seen the tensing of the muscles and body language that told him Kizzarith would try something, barely expending any effort as he caught one of the Leethlux’s feet with one hand as they futility tried to fly away as fast as their wings would beat, before tiring and dropping to the ground with a thud.
“That’s one down!” Vaal called. “Plooderoo! You’re up!”
“But I’m a Keeper! I don’t need to get past!”
“That’s a good point!” Vaal admitted. “Jack, try to get past him!”
“Oh shit!” the Ploothe yelled as he barely had enough time to react to Jack’s body thumping against him, knocking him back and to the ground.
“That’s two!” Vaal grinned, not saying anything else. Who was next?
Jack looked at the Eladra who said nothing else until he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Kritch had taken advantage of Plooderoo’s misfortune and had quietly started sneaking forward, which turned into a full-on sprint as Jack rushed to catch up, tagging the sneaky Lizta not far from the opposing wall.
“Good try!” Jack admitted, as the Lizta sat down, slapping the ground in defeat.
Crill was next, who tried to use illusions to swarm Jack to little success as he charged through the lot, eventually catching the real one. Arlox did a little better, trying to teleport past Jack, which didn’t work considering the telltale magical shimmer of a slow reentry allowed the deathworlder to just casually wait for him on the other side. Karzen and Bentom, being unacquainted with Jack, actually thought they could power through him, which went as well as expected.
Finally they were left with Nika and Sephy, who seemed to whisper to each other before running together slowly towards Jack for a moment before splitting off in either direction, leading Jack to quickly pick one to chase, going for Sephy, who he didn’t want to fly away. The Skritta did a good job of ducking and weaving before Jack feinted and got hold of one of her ankles. He looked around for Nika before something hit him in the side, the force of Nika sending him several uneasy steps to the side before he crashed to the ground as she tripped him up with her tail, releasing his grip on Sephy.
Both girls immediately sprinted for the far wall as Jack got up and tried to catch up, but it was too late. They were panting heavily as they touched the far wall a split second before Jack caught up, but they had done it.
“Good job!” Vaal called everyone into a huddle. “That’s the lesson we need to take from this. Work together in harmony. If you see a teammate in trouble, help them out instead of hogging the balls. An impossible solution for one may be a simpler one for many. So now I want you guys to try two-on-one scenarios to try and…”
“Aren’t we forgetting something?” Kritch asked slyly, looking at Vaal.
“Yes, I believe you’re right!” Plooderoo chuckled.
Karzen and Bentom stood either side of Vaal and placed a hand on each shoulder.
“Time for Vaal to go through the gauntlet now!” Nika grinned, crossing her arms.
“Ah crap,” Vaal muttered to himself, accepting his fate.
*****
“So Jack!” Vaal jogged up to Jack once they had all finished getting changed after practice. “Have you decided on if you’ll join the team or not?”
“Well…” Jack started.
“Aww, come on! It’ll be great!” Kizzarith chittered excitedly.
“Yup! You’re definitely made for this!” Kritch agreed.
Both Nika and Sephy just watched him with smiles on their faces. They could already tell what his answer would be.
“I’ve gotta admit.” Jack smiled at the team. “I had great fun today. I have no idea how well I’ll do, and I’ll probably need to watch a few games to get an idea of what it’s like….”
“But you can sign me up. I’m in!”