"Guys quick! Put the news on! It's starting!" Nika called out to the meandering crowd, who immediately rushed to the TV, where a fish-like woman was addressing the viewers with the caption 'Breaking News'.
"Good evening and welcome to a special report, I'm Oudrie Ximmercon. Preparations all across the city began in earnest several hours ago as some kind of hostile activity was predicted. Several raiding parties have been spotted from the Northern wilderness travelling towards the city! We now bring you like to our eyes in the sky above where we expect the battle to begin! Good evening Larrex!"
"Good evening Oudrie! We're now live showing you a VTOL overwatch of the scene. As we can see local forces are entrenching for what is sure to be a tough fight! We're trying to get footage of the attacking party but it looks like they are deploying obfuscation magic to hide their identity. We should know more once they get in range! From what we are able to divine we can tell that they are using ground-based assault vehicles, though their nature is unknown...wait! It looks like they're starting to enter perception range!"
The girls gathered around all gasped in varying degrees of shock as the dark shimmering outlines of the vehicles suddenly morphed into an assortment of brightly coloured polkadot cars, buses and tanks all thundering towards the wall of the outer district.
"Oh gods," Alora whispered, hands covering her mouth.
Jack didn't understand the reaction from the others at all. How was this an assaulting force to be worried about? It looked ridiculous!
"Oudrie I don't think anyone could have possibly expected this, but it is safe to say that this is a worst-case scenario nobody could have predicted! This is a group we have not seen for well over two years now, and they have returned in force! What could they possibly be up to now!"
"Nothing good Larrex, but I can confirm that nearby gangs and militias are scrambling to get to the scene, can the frontline troops hold out in time?"
"We're about the find out!" cried the voice of Larrex as several bright streams of sparkling light blasted out from several of the vehicles to smash into the gate and the nearby walls. When the dust cleared it was apparent that the walls were barely scratched, but the gate looked battered.
"Well they certainly survived that volley!" Larrex called out. "But there will likely be more! We can see attackers disembarking now!"
The camera panned to several of the forward cars that had stopped just outside the walls, the bright slap-dash of polkadot colours reflecting bizarrely against the spotlight of the news crew as someone got out of the passenger seat wearing a similar getup to the cars. Bright, flamboyant colours of armour, warpaint and weaponry, the attacker was soon joined by a fellow passenger, then another, and another, then several more - they just kept coming!
"What the…" Jack exclaimed in disbelief at the sheer mindfuckery. The only thing he got in response was Vanya gripping him tightly, but on looking around it was clear that Vanya felt the exact same as everyone else in the room looked.
Terrified.
Several more cars started spilling out more and more people than should have been possible to hold, while a second volley of artillery punched a bigger hole through the gate, tearing apart several of the attackers who had run ahead to enter the breach.
Just then a sound cut through over the havoc, the camera once again panning to some kind of tank that easily dwarfed the other vehicles. The sound was coming from a pair of speakers at the front, which came across to Jack as some kind of announcing trumpet fanfare. The tank stopped a fair distance behind the front line of transports, before…something emerged from the top.
Jack could only stare with his mouth agape as the massively obese form clambered out and jumped to the ground with a flourish. With insanely massive, floppy brown shoes, a pair of trousers with all manner of patchwork adorning them, and a tattered purple and yellow polkadot shirt and blazer combo with a top hat, the disgustingly bloated creature gave an immaculate bow, white-powdered face staring directly at the camera with the widest blood-dripping grin of sharp teeth Jack had ever seen.
"WHAT THE FU-" Jack began to yell in sheer disbelief at what he was seeing, but the reporter beat him to it.
“Pray to your gods! It’s the Killer Klown! He hasn’t been seen in over two years and was assumed dead!”
“Are you shitting me?” Jack called out to the others. “This isn’t a prank, is it? A Killer Clown?”
Most of the others were too horrorstruck to even hear him let alone reply, but it was a more composed Nika who filled him in.
“I wish it was a prank but no, The Killer Klown is one of the Top 10 Bounties on Hive Station Bastilla, and one of the worst. He wreaks destruction wherever he goes and slaughters in the name of Jingubash, the Mad God of Killers, in return for power. He may even be a ‘hero’ of Jingubash at this point if he’s been inactive for two years; usually those cultists favoured by Jingubash have short, very public killing sprees that are ended before they get too powerful. Unfortunately for everyone, the Killer Klown has somehow kept going for a long time…”
“Oh crap!” Sephy chirped up, as a squat form of red and pink leapt out of the tank and rushed to the Killer Klown.
“We can now confirm,” the reporter carried on, trying to remain professional despite his audible fear, “Little Miss Massacre has been sighted!”
Jack looked with raised eyebrows. “What?” he asked Nika, completely out of energy to remain completely gobsmacked.
“Yep, believed to be the same species as the Killer Klown, whatever they may be. His right-hand lieutenant, lover and daughter.”
“Wait, did you say ‘and’?”
They were interrupted as something was clearly going on. The Killer Klown had waved forward several groups of subordinates wheeling several large objects, pointing the front ends over the wall. It was only when several of the attackers dashed forward wearing crash helmets did Jack realise what was happening.
They were going to try and shoot them over the wall with cannons!
The attackers weren’t letting up with the gate either, with the next volley of artillery completely smashing it open to cheers of bloodlust as they fought over themselves to get through the breach, only to be cut down by gunfire and replaced by another. A loud set of thunderous booms roared in response as the first load of cannon-fired troops were shot out at high speed. While over half made it over the walls, several others were shot low, spattering across the district walls much to the visible amusement of The Killer Klown and Little Miss Massacre, who were pointing and hollering with laughter. Eventually, Little Miss Massacre pointed at one of the cannons with a pleading expression, and after The Killer Klown gave a visibly comical performance of seriously thinking over the request he enthusiastically nodded, picking up Little Miss Massacre and throwing her into the cannon head first, who was promptly shot out with the next wave, clipping the top of the wall as she made it over…
“We’re switching to another camera angle!” One of the reporters yelled as the feed moved to where Little Miss Massacre had crashed. She stumbled up and shook her limbs, before reaching into one of her many pockets, and somehow yanking out a huge gun twice the size of her, before laughing maniacally and opening fire with what Jack could only describe as a powerful gatling laser, mowing down the nearest militia returning fire, as well as several of her own troops. The feed then returned back to The Killer Klown, who waved for his troops to rush in, before squatting down and riding towards the breach on what looked to Jack like a mini-motorcycle.
The camera feed returned to Little Miss Massacre, who was leading a squad through indiscriminate slaughter through the crowd, pushing through towards the boarded-up houses where Jack had no doubt there were likely children, elderly and others unable to fight bunkering down. There weren’t many soldiers defending that part of town, and the ones that were there were quickly mowed down in a hail of vicious pink light from Little Miss Massacre.
Suddenly, a ball of flame shot out from the side and exploded, black fire ripping apart many of the Killer Klown’s troops. As Little Miss Massacre shielded her eyes, several red bolts were shot out and headed towards her, impacting against a magical barrier that briefly revealed as translucent pink with each hit. The camera turned towards the source, and out of the smoke walked a tall, red-skinned horned woman in flowing black robes wielding a staff.
Jack was suddenly jolted out of his seat as all the girls in the room loudly cheered upon seeing her.
“That’s Devil’s Daughter!” Sephy cried out. “YES! She’s gonna take them down!”
Apparently Little Miss Massacre was inclined to disagree, as she brought the gatling laser round quickly and fired a continuous burst at the newcomer, the red light dissipating on contact with what must have been a magical shield of her own. As she held it in place, Devil’s Daughter started assisting the fallen militia, helping them to their feet with one hand and simultaneously using some kind of healing magic on them, as Little Miss Massacre and her remaining troops kept up the pressure.
The TV feed went to split screen, just in time to see The Killer Klown emerge through the breach with an entourage of heavy troops kitted out in impressive-looking gear, though that did not stop The Killer Klown from effortlessly picking one up with one hand by the scruff of the neck to use as a human shield, somehow anticipating a sniper round aimed at his head. As his bodyguards laid down suppressing fire in response, The Killer Klown pulled something out of one of his many pockets and brought it to his mouth, blowing several times as the balloon grew to insane proportions, before pinching the end, taking aim at the sniper's position, and letting go.
The raspberry sound of the balloon could be clearly heard over the sounds of battle as it zigzagged in random directions before slamming down with an explosion that the camera could see was at the sniper's nest. The Killer Klown gave a loud cackle as he and the others rushed further into the fight.
Meanwhile, Devil's Daughter had seemingly managed to rescue what fallen militia she could, as she waved her arms in complicated ways while chanting words of power that seemed amplified by a thousand more voices. As she finished, several bright red circles of power appeared on the floor, glowing in intensity as several clawed hands shot out from the ground.
"Demon Summoning Circles!" Alora cheered. "Such a magical effect should only be possible in a ritual of at least thirteen people, and never to this intensity!"
"Hey! This is Devil's Daughter you're talking about!" Sephy grinned. "Guess she knows a few things you don't!"
"Holy crap look at that big one!" Nika yelled as a gigantic scaled and tentacled creature emerged from one of the larger circles. "That's a Moringu, right?"
Chiyo nodded enthusiastically, as Devil's Daughter pointed at the now fleeing attackers for the demons to run down.
Meanwhile, The Killer Klown had inflicted heavy losses on the fighters on the front line with an assortment of unconventional gadgets to tear through their numbers. One of the last defenders got lucky and quickly lined up and shot two of the bodyguards, which sent the Killer Klown into cover. Sneering, he quickly searched his pockets for a spray can of some kind, spraying what looked like a heavy amount of whipped cream onto a plate. Waiting for his attacker to stop firing and reload, the Killer Klown placed what could only have been a cherry or similar fruit on top before dashing out of cover and lobbing the cream pie at the unfortunate soldier's face, who screamed in agony, clutching at his eyes. The Killer Klown quickly loaded up several more pies before lobbing them at the still-living soldier, the acid slowly dissolving him as the screams died out to the Killer Klown’s maniacal laughter.
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The freshly summoned Moringu turned around to face the sound after chowing down on an unfortunate attacker. Bellowing in rage it charged the obese creature, battering everything in its way to get to the Killer Klown.
As his underlings dropped everything and ran back through the beach in a rout, the Killer Klown stood his ground, staring at the beast in the first definite look of anger the viewers had seen from the obese freak so far. Unbuttoning his waistcoat and reaching to his belt the Killer Klown grabbed what looked like a handgun, only to pull it out and reveal a stupidly long barrel tucked into his trousers. Taking careful aim at the Moringu, the Killer Klown fired.
The Moringu’s face crumpled as it was hit with the force of a train, forced back into a nearby building before exploding in a loud gush of flame, knocking everyone nearby to the ground as the Killer Klown tried to stop his forces from running away.
Meanwhile, Devil's Daughter had recovered quickly, dashing swiftly towards the staggered Little Miss Massacre as she tried to bring her Gatling Laser to bear, dropping it to the ground with a clatter as the tiny clown received a flying knee to the face.
Still conscious, Little Miss Massacre recovered quickly in a backflip, sending a volley of purple knives towards Devil's Daughter, who only just managed to shimmy off to the side in time to avoid the hail, quickly bringing up her staff to block a swipe from a bat Little Miss Massacre had impossibly yanked out of another pocket, but not quick enough to avoid the followup - a stab to the stomach that made Devil's Daughter visibly recoil in panic.
Though most of the room gasped at the sight of the blade dropping to the ground covered in black blood, Jack and Nika knew that the wound was unlikely to be that deep, but Devil's Daughter would need to see to it at some point.
The two women made several passes with neither gaining the advantage. The Killer Klown clearly knew something was up as he tried to force his way to the conflict with a large colourful hammer, but was held back by demons and militia, emboldened by the turn of the tide. Eventually the two women locked weapons, sneering at one another, before Jack could faintly see Devil's Daughter crack a small smile.
With a quick shove the two disengaged. Devil's Daughter dropped her staff and muttered several quick words of power as she held a wand high, pointing down at her shorter opponent. Seeing the movement, Little Miss Massacre cackled and raised her arms to block the incoming attack from high…
Before being smacked in the chest with the magical attack from below, the bolt of energy coming from the mage's other wand subtly out at her hip. Almost exactly like Alora had done earlier, Little Miss Massacre was blasted back hard, smacking into an invisible barrier and dropping to the ground in a heap. With a wave of her hand, Devil's Daughter dispelled the illusion on the ground, revealing the trap - a multi-tiered glyph of bright red.
Seemingly recognising the symbol, Little Miss Massacre panicked and smacked against the invisible wall of the seal futilely as the Killer Klown roared in rage. Giving him a smirk as she held her stomach, Devil's Daughter clicked her fingers as Little Miss Massacre was engulfed in a sudden torrent of hellfire, unable to escape. Her dying screams enraged the Killer Klown further as he swept aside the opposition with immense strength and speed in a vain attempt to save the doomed Little Miss Massacre.
Devil's Daughter turned to face the new threat, quickly chanting and waving her arms as several red glyphs appeared in midair, facing the Killer Klown, who quickly reached for something in his pocket as several beams and blasts of hellfire energy shot out of the glyphs, aimed right at the Klown, who in turn opened up his umbrella to shield himself from the attack, spinning it around as the attack was redirected to his unfortunate troops still next to him. It looked like the attack let up just in time, as the umbrella was torn to ribbons, with the Killer Klown blasted back by sheer force.
Devil's Daughter didn't let up as she quickly summoned her staff and rushed forward, a magical spike of red energy emerging from the tip which quickly stuck home in the Killer Klown’s gut.
The cheers among the room were short lived as the Klown’s form dissipated to reveal the body of a giggling underling, who used his last breath to point. All cameras and eyes followed to point out the real Killer Klown, who was grinning like a maniac, holding what looked like a detonator.
The feed went dark as the Klown squeezed the trigger.
"Damn…" Nika was the first to speak after several moments of stunned silence. "I really thought she had him."
"I think she did," Alora finally spoke up after finding the words. "That was just the last resort."
"Devil's Daughter did kill Little Miss Massacre though!" Sephy chimed in to try and raise everyone's spirits. "And the Killer Klown lost a lot of people. Whatever his plan was, it must have failed!"
"I doubt it," Alora replied grimly. "Death and destruction is the only thing the Klown wants, and he got it. I'm just glad Devil's Daughter did her best."
The party was more subdued as the night went on. Few of the girls were really in a flirtatious mood as the headlines came in, that the Killer Klown was spotted in retreat and that no body was yet found for Devil's Daughter, at least indicating her possible survival.
But the worst thing was the death toll.
Thousands were confirmed dead or missing in the immediate aftermath of the bombing attacks, with several organisations rushing in to try and rescue those who remained.
Jack saw High Priestess Cornelia and her Paladins working in vain to dig through the debris as reporters tried to ask her for comment. It was only when the Paladins recovered the bodies of several small children that Alora shut the TV off.
The mood was sombre even as the wine kept flowing. Zayle and Rayle kept trying to contact people on comms that they knew in the area. Eventually, as their words slurred beyond recognition in their despair, Jack and Nika carried both of them to a room, positioning them comfortably and safely should they vomit, with a bucket and jug of water for the pair of them.
Sephy was next to go, though she was stubborn and tried to tough it out before Alora caught her stumbling. With both girls admitting to having had too much wine, they both retired to their rooms on Nika’s insistence, promising Alora that she would see the others to their rooms, while Sephy kept reminding Jack about their 'hot date' the next day.
"Wheeell Jack," Vanya slurred as she tried to seductively walk towards him. "I don't know iiiiiif I'll be able to sleep tonight on my own, maybe you should keep meeee company?"
Jack bemusedly sidestepped as Vanya tried to embrace him, only to collapse on the ground with a thud.
"Huh, you don't seem to have a sleeping problem to me…" Jack replied despite himself.
"Damn, that's gonna sting in the morning." Nika laughed as she got up to help. "Why didn't you catch her?" she asked Jack.
Jack didn't really have a good response for that one, so he just gave her a shrug.
Carrying the large bunny-girl to a room wasn't a dignified affair, though Nika was pleasantly surprised when Jack was able to lift Vanya up on his own, only dropping her once with another hard thud when she was sick on the floor.
"If the cleaner-bot isn't able to mop that up she certainly will be in the morning," Nika groaned as she helped Jack pick Vanya up again. "Screw us doing it."
"That's fair," Jack grunted as they managed to get Vanya into a bed, and dislodged from Jack. While he wouldn't necessarily have minded sharing a bed with someone for the night, there was no way he was going to do it with someone completely out of it, and even if it was with someone only as drunk as he was like Nika or Luvia, seeing a brutally massive loss of life on TV seemed to have killed his mood. He had no doubt it'd happen at some point, though.
As he and Nika plonked down on the sofa next to Luvia, who had decided to help herself to more wine instead of helping them, he sighed as he thought back to his conversation with Alora.
Could he really make that leap? None of the alien girls he had met were unattractive, some even appeared to be sane, and Alora at least thought most would be cool with a casual, no-strings relationship of some kind. He knew at the back of his mind that Sephy would probably go all out during their tour of the local districts, and in many ways he was alright with that.
So long as it didn't ruin the group of friends he was now part of.
He put it out of his mind as Luvia noticed his return, handing him and Nika topped up cups of wine.
"Chiyo appears to be resting." The dragon addressed them with a satisfied smile. "Making us the last ones standing, so to speak."
"Here's to our hardy constitutions!" Jack raised his mug in a toast, followed hesitantly afterwards by the other two, who looked a little confused at the gesture before following along, clinking their mugs against his before drinking.
"Speaking of hardy constitutions," Luvia spoke with intensity with a gaze at Jack to match. “Perhaps we should arrange how our night ends?"
She placed a hand on Jack's thigh and leaned into him, as Jack felt Nika tense up next to him, keeping a hold on his arm.
"I must admit I'm surprised and impressed that our Kizun friend has held on through several boxes of Eladrian wine. Alora certainly spared no expense in getting the good stuff," she continued, giving Nika a respectful nod. "However, I promised myself that if you proved as...'hardy' as I suspected I would pursue something more intimate with you. What say you, Jack? What is your usual arrangement with mating rights? The rumours about you are most intriguing, and I certainly don't believe myself lacking.”
"Get in line Luvia!" Nika growled in indignation. "This is his first day away from the Temple of Hope and you want to snatch him up just like that?"
"But the rumours…"
"Are complete bullshit," Nika replied flatly. "We were with him during most of the day so he wouldn't have had any opportunity to slip away. Even if it did happen, would you actually believe the Hoduth triplets of all people?"
"It wasn't just them…" Luvia continued, maintaining her composure as she examined Nika like a cat would a bird. "But if what you say is true then you have my apologies…"
"It is," Jack finally spoke up, having recovered from his whole 'WTF' complexion. "As cliche as it is for an isekai’d guy like me to be dense to all of this, I’m really not an idiot. Honestly, so many people have been flirting with me left, right and centre. I have no idea how to begin handling the ridiculous amount of attention I’ve been getting."
"I can think of a few things,'' Nika grinned despite herself.
"Yeah," Jack smiled. "But I've been through a lot of crap recently and…"
"You just need a little time to figure stuff out, get comfortable with certain things and adjust to the fact that you’re the only one of your kind in an alien galaxy," Nika finished for him.
Both Jack and Luvia stared at Nika in surprise, though the Kizun just shrugged casually with a grin. "What? I knew that already. I can wait, assuming Jack finds me desirable enough."
"That raises a good point." Luvia pouted. "Does my form even please you Jack? I do possess limited shapeshifting and I have quite the wardrobe…"
"No it's not that!" Jack spoke with alarm. "I like both of you the way you are! I like the others too and none of you need to change anything just to try and…."
He stopped as he saw the wide smiles of both girls, and realised all of a sudden that he'd just been had.
"Good of you to finally admit it." Nika smiled. "I thought I had you mostly figured out!"
"Indeed," Luvia agreed. "I always get what I want in the end, even if it's not happening tonight!"
"Urgh," Jack grunted, knowing the girls weren’t going to give up on him. "Let's just watch some more TV until we go to sleep…”
*****
Elsewhere, many hands were typing, and many eyes were watching.
The bounty for the Killer Klown had certainly increased, securing his rise to the 8th Most Wanted on Hive Station Bastilla, to the surprise of nobody.
But another bounty was being placed.
Many of the photos were blurry but there was enough to go on. Known associates, possible locations, and a name.
Many small donations to the pool were placed by those jealous of his association with Alora Glenphyranix or Luviannestixxx, as he had somehow gained their attention with little merit or effort and had corrupted their waifus.
Other donations were placed by a few extremist Red Legion affiliates, who heard of the humiliation they had suffered and wanted it avenged.
More were placed by several prefects, seeing a future rule breaker that needed to be squashed.
Others still came from many admirers that sought to gain an ‘advantage’ over the competition by use of abduction.
The greatest contributions came from a certain Noble Drow Slaver House. This target had heavily insulted the Mistress-In-Waiting, and was male of all things. They needed to die painfully.
Jack Frost was a very wanted guy. Dead or Alive.
*****
Jack woke up a few hours later on the sofa with both Nika and Luvia cuddled up with him, though nothing had happened. At some point Chiyo had joined them, re-acquiring her spot on Jack's lap. It would honestly feel pretty good were it not for one important fact.
Jack really needed to pee...