(MIKLAUS)
“Eight ball left corner pocket.”
Clank
My pool cue struck the center of the off-white cue ball, sending it rolling towards the black ball near the end of the table. Another clank on impact and the eight ball rolled right for the… and it hit the corner of the aged green felt next to the hole.
I heard a stifled laugh behind me and turned to my friend, Reiji. His hazel eyes were wrinkled with laughter, his freckled complexion emphasizing the reddening of his cheeks from the numerous drinks he had downed so far. Besides those physical signs it was hard to tell he had been messing around for the better part of a day. His clothes were still well-kempt, his auburn hair short and tidy with a clean shaven face. If he didn’t keep to himself so much he would easily fit in anywhere.
“The table must be off-balance” I joked.
“Sure,” he shook his head.
He reached for his pool cue that had been set on a supporting pillar for the basement but found nothing.
“Huh? Where…”
A shuffling sound behind us drew our attention and we looked towards the basement fridge to find our other two friends. Hikarus was struggling with Reiji’s pool cue to try and get a six pack off the top of the fridge with Heaven cackling on the ground behind him.
Having been unfortunate enough to be the short friend, Hikarus was always victim to being messed with like this. Not that he let it get to him, in fact he used it as justification for his own pranks that far outnumbered anything we pulled. You could say his short stature was deceptive, underneath that mop of black hair and tanned baby-faced complexion was a cheat code of a brain. Throughout high school I had never seen him study, he had even set up elaborate tricks in his room to pretend to be studying when his parents checked up on him, yet he never got anything wrong. If I didn’t know any better I’d have to conclude he was cheating somehow.
Reiji walked over to help him like the good mom-friend that he was for us. I thought he was going to put a stop to it, but I guess I underestimated just how many drinks he had consumed. He picked the six pack off the top of the fridge and handed it to Hikarus, but instead of moving on he ruffled his already messy black hair and said.
“There you go little guy.”
Hikarus rolled his eyes but still accepted the beer. He headed for the couch followed by Reiji, who had apparently forgotten about the very exciting game we had just been playing.
Heaven had collected herself enough to get up in that time. She sat next to the two of them and looked extremely focused while trying tame her curly red hair into a ponytail. She was rather tall and boyish in shape, so pale you’d worry about sunburn the moment you walk outside and had dark green eyes that looked almost brown in the shade.
She noticed my gaze and beckoned me to join them.
“Come on, Mik, we have just enough bottles left for all of us.”
“I can’t, you know I drew the short straw this time and am driving us back to the dorms tonight,” I reminded her. “In fact, we have to leave in a couple hours, why don’t you guys get showered so I don’t have to smell just how much you drank without me?”
Faster than I thought was possible, Heaven dashed off the couch and ran up the stairs. “I call first!”
“Oh! You surprised me, Heaven. Where are you running off too?” I heard my mom ask from atop the stairs.
“Sorry Mrs. Baxley, I’m gonna take a shower before we head off in a bit.”
“Alright, at least take one of these cookies I was going to bring down for you all first.”
“Thanks!”
Many stomps later the door to the basement opened again and my mom was at the top. I hurried up to save her the trouble of walking down them.
Taking the plate, I thanked her with a hug.
My mom had always looked young for her age, at least until my dad had passed due to cancer a few years ago. She'd aged greatly since then. Hair now more gray than her usual chocolate brown with more wrinkles every time I see her. Her bright blue eyes that were so full of life not too long ago looked dull and exhausted. The solemn smile she wore while watching my friends didn't help.
We were both the only child of our parents and with my grandparents having passed before I was born, I was truly all she had left. I felt bad living hours away to attend college, leaving her here alone but I knew she didn't want me to limit my future for her. I tried to make up for it by spending as much time as possible with her while on break, yet I saw the effects of loneliness deepen each time I returned.
My mom laughed a bit pulling me from my thoughts.
"You look just like him when you are deep in thought. Stop worrying and do the best you can. He would be proud of the man you're becoming. I know I am. "
I tried to speak but my words got caught in my throat. So I just gave her another hug and jumped down the stairs with the plate in hand.
The guys cheered when they saw the snacks with Hik giving her an exaggerated bow. She giggled at that and went back upstairs.
All there was to do now was hang out and hope that Heaven leaves some hot water for us.
She did not.
~~~
I wiped the steam off the mirror with my damp oversized towel, an hour later than I originally planned. While I shared a lot with my mom, my features were predominantly my dad’s. Wavy dirty-blonde hair stuck up from my scalp after my quick towel drying, light blue eyes alight below. My freckles stood out on my pale skin. I smiled and sighed. My braces are supposed to come off in another year but damn did I regret putting it off for as long as I did. At least I was doing something right though. I flexed a bit and had to admit it was impressive. I have been working out with Reiji these days, and while I can’t get into the martial arts he engrosses himself with, I do enjoy lifting weights and going on runs with him around campus.
After my shower I went to my room to make sure I had everything packed and brought down my suitcases. New vibrant orange colored ones my mom had purchased for me so that I wouldn’t “confuse them for someone else's”. Which succeeded, kind of, simply because no one in their right mind would intentionally choose these. I still used them though because they were a gift from her, who wouldn’t use it in that case?
After finishing up, I headed downstairs to where my friends were sitting with my mom with all their luggage stacked next to the door. The sight of them made me smile. Hikarus was eating some potato chips off to the side, Heaven was napping on the couch next to Reiji, with Reiji talking with my mom. Her being the first to notice my arrival.
“Seems you can still clean up nicely,” she nodded in agreement with herself.
I blushed a bit in embarrassment and tried to change the subject.
“Thanks for waiting for me.”
“Took you long enough,” Hik said, licking his fingers.
“I’m sorry, I had to wait for some hot water after a few inconsiderate people used it all,” I joked back.
“Now now boys,” my mom chided.
We both smiled innocently at her.
“Let’s get these things in the car…if they will fit” I said a bit worried.
Reiji jumped up and walked over to the towering pile and sized it up.
“Should I grab the others?” I asked.
He raised an eyebrow. “Was all that weight training just for show?”
“Oh?” Challenge accepted.
Of course we couldn’t take more than one trip, so we both ended up with half the suitcases and bags haphazardly stacked on top of each other. Getting through the door was the easy part, it wasn’t until we both tried to beat the other to the car that all hell broke loose. It only took one wrong step. We both face planted at nearly the same time, sending bags flying. Leaving us groaning on the driveway.
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“My bag… fell furthest,” Reiji declared through ragged breath and laughter.
Looking up, I cursed internally.
Damn, he’s right.
~~~
After playing tetris with our bags into my 10 year old red hatchback we were just about ready to leave. The others had gotten up during our scramble to offer backseat advice on how to fit things in. The only thing left was goodbyes.
The others went first of course, each giving my mom a hug which I thought was cute. Reiji said something that made her laugh, probably telling her he’d look after me if I had to guess. Then it was my turn.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she admonished.
I chuckled and hugged her for a while.
“You know, I’m not taking summer classes this time. That means I’ll have the whole summer to spend time at home.”
“That would be nice, but make sure you are taking care of yourself and everything you have to. I know how stressful college and becoming an adult can be. I’ll always be here if you need anything.”
“Thanks, mom,” I said, kissing her forehead.
Turning away before I felt bad about leaving again we headed to the car.
“Shotgun!” Hikarus called while taking off in a run towards it.
“Are you even tall enough to be in the front?” I asked.
Hik stopped in his tracks and turned to me with pure betrayal on his face. Without the very nice hand sign he was giving me, I might have thought I actually hurt his feelings.
After we got in, Hik in the front, having declined multiple offers for a booster seat, I had another thought before we really headed off.
"Did you wanna stop by your house to say bye, Hik?"
"And give them another chance to question me about how I can afford to not spend my breaks studying? Nah, I'll pass mate."
"They are still hounding you about your grades? Haven't you been straight A's since birth?"
He laughed, "I'm even taking a double curriculum yet they just see numbers, if one were to drop I'd receive essays by text until it was fixed."
"Wait, what? You're taking double the number of classes and are still straight A's?" I had to stare at him to tell if he was messing with me again. I knew he was good but…
He just shrugged, completely serious. "It's easy once you get used to it."
"No, you're just a monster," I couldn't help my totally not jealous scoff.
I turned to Reiji but he shook his head in response before I could ask him.
I wanted to ask Heaven but hesitated. She was staring out of the car window, clearly having heard me ask Hik. I didn't know all of the details surrounding her home life, she didn't share and we didn't pry.
The last time it was brought up was a couple of years ago. Reiji had gone to pick her up, she hadn't gotten her car yet, but they never came back. Neither returned my calls which worried me a bit but I decided to sleep on it before going myself.
I never got the chance. I got a call a few hours later from Reiji. They were at the hospital. I called Hik and we sped over to see them.
Reiji hadn't given me any details besides her being alright, but I was still worried. Upon arriving I was relieved to see her just sleeping. She had a handful of bandages on her face and arms with clear bruising underneath. I turned to Reiji, who was sitting in a dark corner of the room, his chin resting on his hands, his bandaged hands.
He was angrier than I had ever seen him and since he was never much of a talker, all he had said was that her father crossed the line.
After that day she stopped living at home. Reiji's parents are as caring as he is and as soon as they heard about what happened they took her in and treated her like a daughter.
We made good progress. We abstained from drinking anything before we left, well within a few hours, so as not to make any early stops. It was a nearly twelve hour drive so any time save was more than welcome.
Our drive to the first stop was uneventful. The others were still recovering from their drinking and I was busying myself with a new audiobook I had gotten for this very reason. I was getting into an exciting part when Hik made his needs known, Heaven seconding from the backseat.
We stopped at a large gas station that had a restaurant on the side. It was perfect, we'd get the meal out of the way and I'd power through the night, making a couple stops for gas on the way, so that we'd arrive in the morning.
I went to the bathroom first while they looked around. Afterwards I grabbed us a table and waited for the others. Hik arrived first sporting a huge grin, he had a new collection of word and number puzzles which according to him were no longer carried anywhere near our dorm rooms. They all looked the same to me, honestly.
Reiji was next with an assortment of wilderness magazines and a pair of energy drinks he handed to me.
"Oh, I forgot. Thanks man." I said, a little embarrassed.
Heaven came last with something that completely surprised me.
"Beauty magazines? I didn't know you cared about that stuff."
I heard winces from the boys who turned their heads away. Heaven glaring at me.
"You don't think I put effort into my look?"
Honestly, I didn't realize she did but something told me that I'd be riding the rest of the way in the trunk if I vocalized that.
"No, of course not. I just meant uh… I was just surprised at the kind you picked, is all."
"Mhmm," was all she said as she took her seat.
After a very awkward dinner breakfast thing later we hit the road. The sun was beginning to set now and the trafficking lightening up considerably. Most of the drive was a rather boring highway that stretched on for hours followed by a climb up a mountain then the home stretch to our dorms that lasted around an hour after that.
Again, it was rather uneventful. I was busy with my book while the others read or solved their recent purchases. It wasn't until we reached the mountain that they had finished napping or reading and decided to start talking, followed by Hik messing with the radio. Unable to continue my book, I just put it away to join in.
Once we reached the halfway mark something was off. Over the last mile or so a strange fog had started thickening up as we climbed. This was a dry part of the state so fog like this was a rarity, none of us had experienced it like this either. As we kept climbing it only got worse.
Reiji even offered to take over for me since I had been driving for so long, but I declined. I'm sure the alcohol was out of his system by now, nearly half a day later, but it was still my turn. He had driven us last time. I wasn't going to let a little fog get to me and luckily I wouldn't have to.
It was going really well, the weird fog seemed to have stopped a way back and it was smooth sailing. We had made it to the very top of the mountain pass and Hik had just put on a great song we all sang along with. One about a man questioning reality and telling his mom he had just killed a man. About halfway through the song, everything went wrong.
A loud pop of a tire blowing cut through the happy moment like a knife. The exposed rim dug into the unkempt mountain road forcing us to swerve towards the cliff. The railing might as well have been tissue paper with how easily we sheared through.
An indescribable fear overtook me. Time seemed to slow to a standstill as we plummeted towards the rocks below. I managed to look at my friends’ faces, my terror reflected on their own. We all knew what was about to happen but all we could do was wait, no time for last words, prayers, or regrets.
In those few seconds, our hopes, our dreams and our lives no longer mattered. All it takes is a moment to erase it all and that moment had come for us.
~~~
The night sky stretched in all directions before me. How long I had been awake, I do not know. Perhaps I had always been awake. I don’t even know how long I have been here. I couldn’t move my body. Hell, I might not even have a body, I couldn’t feel anything. I could only watch. Watch as the sky grew larger as it neared, or I neared it.
Stars and lights passed me by as my astral straight jacket took me further than I thought possible. Occasionally a star would near, searing me with its might only to continue on as if I was nothing. I was nothing. A fragment of a speck flying by, just watching.
Beyond the stars were the beautiful forms of galaxies. Unimaginable shapes and configurations with more colors than I had names for. I passed through many but from the inside it all looked the same, lights all around me. All I could do was be an eternal watcher.
After an inconceivable or perhaps an instantaneous amount of time, a spark ignited in my mind and who I was came back to me. A sense of panic flowed through my body as shivers, yes I still had my body. A car. A cliff. Friends. A fall. Then, nothing. No, not nothing. This.
I tried to latch on to those moments but felt it slipping. I tried to vocalize something but no sound came out. I found that funny. Of course no sound would come out in space. There was only light, me, and my memories.
Oh, how I regret coming to that realization. As my memories played in my mind the celestial bodies around me reacted. They twisted and came together in a sick spiral of beauty. They formed screens of sorts and inside them, to my horror, was me. Not me, me, but a young me. Barely three feet tall at the time, I was with my dad on a fishing trip. Before I was ready it moved on. Years later, I was standing with my mom on a grassy field filled with stones.
No.
In front of us was a gravestone that read my fathers name. His last smile played on the screens beside the main one. Emotions ripped at my heart yet still felt fleeting. More memories were forced out of me. My first meeting with Reiji. My failed attempt at starring in a school play. Meeting Hikarus at a neighborhood park. School days that were meaningless at the time filled me with emotions. Longing, regret, and most of all loneliness. I was so lonely.
As if on command the screens changed to my nightmare. My mom, alone, on the same grassy knoll, now with two tombstones next to each other. She was on her knees hundled over the freshly dug hole.
NO!
The screens blew away but it was too late. I broke. Soundless wails filled my everything while tears streamed down into the nothingness around me. The screens reformed into more memories or perhaps future events that I cared not to watch. I couldn’t. All I am is a watcher and yet I couldn’t even do that anymore. I tried to shut my eyes but I still saw it all. I couldn’t even turn away from the screens. I was trapped with nothing but hell. Perhaps this was hell. I didn’t think I deserved it but perhaps my lack of belief was all it took to send me here. It wasn’t fair.
The countless screens all around me turned blank and merged into a screen that had to span the entire universe around me. In it I saw my family and my friends surrounded by the countless people I had interacted with at some point in my life, no matter how little. I was a little stunned by the sheer number of people but was thrown back into reality as they started to vanish from the edges.
Slowly their forms turned to dust around me as the screen itself shrunk with them. It shrank and shrank and it was only my family and friends. My father faded first, almost causing me to lose myself to my emotions again but I had a feeling I had to watch this and pushed the tears down. Why is it doing this?
I steeled myself as my mother faded next. Leaving the four of us. Before I could ponder further the screen exploded with light, blinding me with its pure light that I couldn’t even shield my eyes from. Once it faded, I stood, or floated, before a man-sized mirror with myself looking out at me.
I willed myself and I moved closer, the ‘me’ inside simply watching. Right before I could touch the mirror it exploded again in a violet light, but unlike the harmful white light, this one felt nice?
I pushed myself closer to it and saw that the screen wasn’t ignited, it was the ‘me’ inside the mirror. The violet light was revolving around and through the mirror ‘me’, cycling around like a snake. No, a dragon, I somehow knew. I followed the light until it took me to my face where I froze. The me inside the mirror was no longer just watching, he was staring straight into my eyes like he was somehow looking into my soul.
‘My’ light blue eyes started to flake off with violet light beneath, pupils extended into that of a predator yet they kept staring through me. The energy steadied into a stream flowing down ‘my’ body. Wherever it touched was changed. My braces vaporized away. My dirty blonde hair turned black with a dark purple on the tips, my body toned and my face adjusted itself. Jaw bones protruded and my face lengthened slightly, fitting the new body.
Once the transformation was complete I was speechless. I instinctively knew that I was looking at ‘me’ but it was wholly not me. Perhaps what I could become? But how..
The energy flowing around the mirror suddenly stopped and like a whirlpool, twisted and spiraled down into a part of ‘my’ arm. A part I hadn’t seen before, ‘my’ forearm was now held out with the torrent of energy flowing into it. After every last drop of energy had been siphoned into the mark, I saw it. A vibrantly glowing symbol was now on ‘my’ arm. It looked like a snake twisted into infinity, eating its own tail. I tried to move closer but was once more stuck, or maybe the mirror moved with me.
Either way, it didn’t matter because as I lifted my hand to move I saw it. On my own forearm was now the exact symbol, a rune of sorts. It looked contained, sealed, waiting to be unleashed. A deep thump sounded in my heart. Even my body wanted whatever the hell this was and I had to admit… my mind did too. I didn’t even know what would really happen but I knew it was right. Like this was always meant to be. Without hesitation I touched it.
All I saw was violet light and all I felt was pain. The cracking of bone reverberated throughout my body. My skin peeled itself off and reformed underneath. Muscles tore and reforged countless times until the pain overtook the light, nearly knocking me out. Yet I wasn’t allowed that mercy, whatever this was wasn’t through. Physical pain was the easy part.
Memories, or stories. Whatever you would call a life that isn’t yours flashing before your eyes. The life of early humans, huddling around fire in a frozen wasteland, burying their young that were too weak to survive, or too little food to feed. The life of a man in the desert forced to pull giant rocks up a pyramid. A plague doctor cutting up a snake to place on the sores on a young boy’s body. A woman burned for being a witch despite it only being because her husband had found a new lover. A king looking down on his subjects as he basks in their reverence. A man being crushed to death by machinery after spending his entire life there for scraps. A father celebrating the birth of his first daughter in a small cottage. A woman looking at herself in the mirror while her slightly glowing jaw fell off to her touch. Every moment of their lives passed through my mind in mere moments, replaying slightly different events or points of view every time. The influx of their emotions boiling inside of me.
As I floated there overwhelmed by it all, I felt gravity, or a force, take hold of me once more and I was dragged to my side at a speed I knew was beyond light itself. The stars around me began to form tails as I moved, my speed stretching me through the space around me. My body compressed and extended as I picked up speed, the stars now beams of light all around me. Extending until the space around me snapped and I was left in darkness. I had a sense of myself and knew I was moving at a speed I couldn’t quite quantify but nothing around me changed. Until it did.
Without any noticeable changes, I found myself completely still, now laying on… grass?