It was 1971 and Richard Nixon was president of the United States of America. For those uniformed of this specific timeline, the United States was a powerful nation on Earth. It didn't necessarily have the smartest, strongest, richest, healthiest or most spiritual people on the planet. What it did have was the most nuclear bombs, tanks, war planes and rifles on the planet. What it lacked in finesse it made up for in blind stupidity, hero worship and cheeseburgers.

Just a few miles away from the Pacific Ocean along picturesque rolling hills was a townhouse in the city of Laguna Niguel, California. There was a very important meeting happening between a group of powerful people.

Inside the townhouse several members of a secret group were discussing marketing and branding techniques. As the group moved onto getting more followers, all of a sudden there was a knock at the door.

The host of the event quickly but cautiously moved to the door. He looked through the peephole and then back at the group. He opened the door.

"What's the code word?" asked the host.

"Oh geez," responded the man at the door. He fumbled through several pockets looking for a piece of paper. After failing to find one he responded, "All hail 'Derrick?'"

"No. That's the old code," responded the host, feeling slightly irritated.

"Ummm," responded the man at the door as he thought very hard. "Is it? Remember the gates of Alabaster?"

"For Derrick's sake, that code is even older than all hail 'Derrick?'" said the host.

Everyone in the room was either snickering as quietly as they could or sighing in disgust.

"I don't think, is it Lü Bu Clan or Fry Rocks 66," said the man.

"No and I hope that's still not your email address is it?"

"The Raven!"

"No."

"Cloud Olympus gang?"

"No."

"Apocalypse meow?"

"Oh Derrick, No!"

"The gills have eyes."

"No. I don't think we've ever used that as a code."

"Wait. We definitely used that in that underwater world. Remember? It was really dark, like, all the time. Those massive whale shark things kept attacking us and swallowing us whole. We had to keep shooting our way out of their stomachs," said someone in the room.

"Okay, but it doesn't matter, it's not the code for this hei…" The host paused for a moment and looked down the hall. "It's not the code for this social group. Either get the right code or go back home."

"Oh. I don't want to go all the way back home."

"Then give me the damn code, I know you're fucking with me," said the host.

"Fine. Abra Makhshavá or, is it Abra Ma'avar?"

"You gotta put it together," said the host.

"Sorry, my Hebrew is rusty. I don't like to think about that whole time period, either. It was rough on my back," said the man at the door.

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"Just say it," said the host.

"Abra-Ma'avar-Makhshavá!" said the man at the door like he just cast a spell with his hands.

"You may come in," said the host.

The man took one step in the doorway, leaned in towards the host. The two simultaneously reached out for an arm-shake. They both looked down at the other's forearm. There were identical tattoos of the yin and yang symbols on both men. They clasped wrists and then came in for a deep long hug. One whispered into the other's ear, "chaos." The other responded with, "order."

They stepped back slightly.

"It's good to see you brother," said that man at the door.

"It's good to see you as well, brother," said the host.

They smiled and turned towards the inside of the room. On the table was a set of building schematics and surveillance photos of a bank that was not very far from the apartment.

A rather intense man with angry sad eyes gathered the group together.

"We're following normal rules for this operation. No, names," said the intensely sad man.

Interrupting him, a slim lanky man spoke up, "oh that reminds me. Prince Fry, your mother wants you to call her."

"Oh, you cunt! Lady Pearl, is anyone watching?" said the intensely sad man.

"I'll check. No. We don't have anyone watching," said Lady Pearl.

"Good. I'm glad you didn't fuck this up for us already, Lapis Lazuli," said the intensely sad man.

"Oh. My name is Dorn," said Dorn.

Everyone covered their faces.

"Even though we weren't supposed to know who each other is, I know it's you. I always know it's you. There is no way, I wouldn't know it was you. I'm changing your code name. You're now coral! The dumbest and ugliest precious stone possible," said the intensely sad man.

"Oh. I'm sorry. What was your code name again," said Dorn. I mean, Mr. Coral.

"Call me, Mr. Diamond," said Mr. Diamond, the man formerly known as the intensely sad man.

Mr. Diamond waves everyone in closer.

"I just want to be on the record that I think this is stupid. We've already done, what? I think thirteen bank heist episodes on this planet alone," said Mr. Ruby, the host of the social group and the man that secured the apartment.

"This will be our eleventh bank heist on this earth," said Lady Pearl.

"Eleven, eleven fucking stories about robbing banks, are we doing anything original at this point," said Mr. Ruby.

"People love the bank heists Mr. Ruby," said Mr. Sapphire, formerly known as the man at the door.

"People are stupid," said Mr. Ruby.

"We give them what they want. Always have always will. Bread and circuses. Wasn't that your saying Mr. Ruby?" said Mr. Sapphire.

"No, Mr. Sapphire. I believe that was your saying. I just used it ironically," said Mr. Ruby.

"Are you two cunts finished? said Mr. Diamond.

Sapphire and Ruby liked at each other in the eyes, "yes, dungeon master."

"Okay. Damn. You two. It's always you fucking two," Mr. Diamond took a moment to breathe and recenter. "We will pull up here. Enter the bank. Mr. Emerald and Lady Moonstone will be our driver's and stay with the vehicles. Mr. Amethyst and Mr. Opal will handle crowd control. Myself, Misters Ruby and Sapphire will go to the vault. Everyone else will provide security, here, here and here. Be prepared to help us move the score from the vault once it's open."

Everyone looked at the map and mentally prepared for the mission.

"If you don't have any questions, clean this place up. I'll see you in an hour at the rendezvous. Coral, make sure you run the dishwasher. We don't want to leave any DNA in this place," said Mr. Diamond.

"I won't forget to run the dishwasher!" exclaimed Mr. Coral.

Mr. Diamond left with Misters Ruby and Sapphire.

An hour later the team had fully sanitized the apartment. As they walked out the door Lady Moonstone said to Mr. Coral, "You ran the dishwasher didn't you?"

"Of course, I ran the dishwasher," replied Mr. Coral.

After everyone left the apartment.

Sitting in the dishwasher, currently in a less than desirable state were dishes that everyone in the team had used over the past day. The dishes were not clean and/or sanitized. Ultimately, this left the team's identities open to discovery.

Fucking, Mr. Coral.