Years ago…

Ninetales and Lee were currently on their honeymoon in Alola and had boarded a Wailmer watching tour earlier that morning. A small pod of juveniles and one fully grown Wailord were breaching some ways off and the entire mob of tourists on board were threatening to capsize the catamaran as they scrambled to its starboard to get a better look. Wingulls cackled above them as water sprayed salt into the air. The day was certainly idyllic. But as much as Lee wanted to join the mob, he was currently rubbing his wife’s shoulders as she dry heaved.

“Are you sure it’s just seasickness, love? You’ve been feeling off the entire week.”

“I-I’m-“ Ninetales retched, “I’ll be alright, Lee. Go…ugh…snap some photographs, this is a bit of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

Lee wasn’t entirely convinced. “Are you sure? Your appetite has been rather poor, and we’ve spent more time looking for bathrooms than enjoying the sights.” He continued to rub small circles on the vixen’s back as she leaned heavily into his side. “I’m starting to think we should visit a Center.”

“No, that’s…unnecessary…but maybe…I should sit in my…ball for now.”

Lee blanched at the idea but could see the wisdom in it. How long had it been since Ninetales had actually gone into her ball? Months…years even. If he was being honest, Lee couldn’t even recall the last time. He began to pat down his pockets. Wallet. Phone. Keys. Pen. Spare Pen. Spare of the spare pen. Disposable Camera. Spare camera…no ball.

“So…Nine…one small issue.”

“You didn’t bring it.”

“I didn’t bring it.”

Ninetales brought up breakfast.

Ħ

Back in their hotel room Lee was pacing across the carpet while Ninetales splayed out upon the queen-sized bed with her paws curled in the air. The poor A/C unit shuddered and clunked as it desperately tried to cool the room.

“Are you absolutely sure that I couldn’t convince you to go to the Center?”

“Positive.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I could eat something.”

“What would you like?”

“Cheese."

"Cheese?"

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

"Mmhmm."

"...how much cheese do you want?"

"Lots of cheese. Pick something, and give me as much cheese as they can possibly fit on that dish. That's how much I want.”

“How about a pizza? I think I saw a pizzeria a block away.”

“Fine. But no pinap berries!”

Ħ

Benny was the owner and proprietor of “Benny’s Pies” and was immensely proud of his work. Ever since he was a teenager he had tossed dough and slung sauce making the finest creations known to man. He had experimented with various toppings and combinations over the decades, even some that would have him nailed to the signpost back home in Unova. But let it never be said that innovation didn’t come without some sort of cost. When a researcher-type from Hoenn came into his shop asking if he made a “deep dish pizza” his interest had been piqued. That was until this “Lee” character had told him what it was supposed to look like.

“Welcome tuh Benny's Pies, home of dah Loco-Moco Pizza, what can I get yuh?”

“Do you guys make deep dish pizza here?”

“Whazzat?”

“Deep dish pizza.”

“Nevuh hoid of it. Where yuh from? Dat somethin' from your hometown, or what?”

“Hoenn. But, no, I haven’t found a pizzeria that would make it there either.”

“Alright, I'll humawh yuh. Tell me how di...ting…dis "deep dish"...right?...is made.”

“Well, first you take the cornmeal and form a dough…”

“Woah dere, let me stop yuh fawh a moment. Okay? Perhaps I mishoid yuh. But d'ja just say dat yuh wanted a pizza wit' a cawhn-based crust, or what?”

“Um…yes?”

Benny mulled it over for a bit. Corn. There was that one guest cook who had come from some continent (he hadn’t cared enough to listen to exactly where) who had put corn and eggs on a pizza once. Benny’s mentor Lorenzo about had a stroke right then and there as he screamed and bodily removed the offender from his shop. But…corn flour could make a crispier crust…

“Alright yooz…keep goin.’”

“Name’s Lee.”

“Doan fuckin’ care.”

“Right…so you take cornmeal and form a dough that rises up the sides of a high-walled pan or skillet. Then you layer on sheets of cheese…I think provolone and mozzarella…until around half to three quarters up the pan, followed by some sausage, then you top it with tomato sauce and some grated parmesan.”

As Benny mentally prepared the ingredients in his head, he could feel a little sensation build within him. Annoyance at first that quickly turned into anger before settling happily in his brain as pure, unadulterated rage. Benny figured this is how Lorenzo must have felt that day.

“Dat has got tuh be dah most ridiculous ting I've evuh heard of in my entire life. Dat is not a pizza. Ya' dig? First off, dat sounds mawh like a lasaahgna or a cassorole than a pizza. Yuh with me? Second, why dah fuck would yuh put dah sauce on top? Dat will just make dah sauce taste burnt and leave a soupy mess when dah sausage cooks sandwiches between all dat cheese and sauce!”

“Sir, I-“

“Shut dah fuck up! And why dah fuck would yuh want dat much cheese in it, or what? That's ovah a half pound fawh dis one pie! Are yuh tryin' tuh rip me ahf, or what? Cheese is dah most expensive ingredient on a pizza! Okay? Ahceeus' save us all. You're tryin' tuh ruin de best goddamn ting dat has evuh come out of Unova. Yuh got me? Get dah fuck out of my pizzeria and doan come back unless yuh want a real pizza. Ya dig?”

Benny watched the man scamper from his shop and continued to seethe for the rest of the afternoon as he muttered to himself.

“Fuckin’ tourists. Deep dish…fuck!”