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Fork This Life!
Chapter 36: Term One: Forkin’ Done

Chapter 36: Term One: Forkin’ Done

Chapter 36: Term One: Forkin’ Done

Now that I’m in the library itself, I can see what’s around me with mana sight, although only in this section of the library.

Almost instantly I see a poster listing the various rules of the library, including that you couldn’t bring a lower year student with you through the doors, something not mentioned by Mr Leyche.

There is only one student other than me in this section of the library, a young man with messy, oily brown hair and severely wrinkled robes, his attention occupied completely by the book in front of him.

I began to peruse the titles of the books, trying to find one relevant to mana control. After about ten minutes of searching, I give up. I’m not able to find anything in particular, and anyway, many of these titles are too interesting to pass up a read. I pick one out - ‘A brief overview of Odwia’ - and carry it over to a table using telekinesis to read it.

I position myself above the book, and carefully turn the first page. Skipping the author’s introduction, I get straight into the juice of it.

‘Odwia is unlike other known worlds. It does not focus on any known concept, energy or weaponry, as so many others seem to. While most of its inhabitants speak common-’

Why is that, by the way? I’m on another forking planet, for Pete’s sake, so why is everyone still speaking English? It’s not like interplanetary colonisation is a thing here.

‘- Odwia displays a variety of languages, cultures and people of power far beyond that of any other. Even the gods themselves appear to pay more attention to it than other worlds.’

It goes on to briefly describe the various important countries and kingdoms on Odwia. The empire doesn’t even get a mention. Too small, I guess.

‘There are too many unique locations to even mention - floating islands, underwater cities, endless deserts - but there is one worthy of particular mention, the most famous and feared location, perhaps across all the worlds. It is commonly known by two different names: ‘The plain of worlds’ and ‘The eternal battlefield’. It is said that there are naturally occurring portals to every world in existence hidden throughout the plain. Alas, few have been found and fewer still are safe to pass through, for the simple reason that there are portals to both heaven and hell there.’

Heaven, Hell… Did whoever named these places read the bible… Or did the bible get it from them?

‘Their war has raged since times forgotten, and by all accounts neither side is likely to stop. Many seeking fame and fortune have fought there, on either side, and many have fallen, some recorded being as powerful as the level 80 range.’

Well, that sounds like a place that I never want to go to… But it may have a way back to Earth…

After reading through it, I carry the book back to the shelf and look for another to read. A book on the system catches my interest.

‘How, why and when it came to be is unknown…’

Well, that’s useless. I skim through several pages, but there is only one section of particular interest.

‘Although there are no recorded instances of such an occurrence, it has been hypothesised that the maximum level, if such a thing exists, is 100. However, it is doubtful if such a hypothesis will ever be confirmed. As one advances further in level, one will cease to receive experience from enemies more than a certain level below them, initially thirty levels below but decreasing to ten or, some unconfirmed reports say, five levels below at the highest known levels. To even find an individual in the eighty level range is prohibitively difficult, and to find someone in the nineties is almost impossible. Because they are almost mythical, individuals in the nineties level range are sometimes known as ‘legends’, sometimes in scepticism, sometimes in awe.’

Not seeing anything else of use forthcoming, I slot that book back away, too. Perhaps ‘A brief inspection of known powers’ would be more my speed.

A brief inspection of known powers, indeed - according to the table of contents, ninety percent of the book’s contents are on mana.

‘Mana is the foundation of all magic. Its uses are numerous, limited only by its wielder’s skill, knowledge, power and imagination. Present in anyone and everything. Even untaught, an individual will be able to use mana to some degree.’

Well, that’s not biased at all.

‘Ki is a rarer power, but masters of the art say that it can be awoken in anyone, given enough time and effort spent on doing so. It allows users to perform extraordinary physical feats; those experienced in the arts can simply shrug off weaker weapons and magic. Nevertheless, it takes decades to become proficient in its use, and while it can be consumed quickly, replenishing ki takes a long time.’

Interesting… Something to take another look at in the future, to be sure. It may take decades, but I have the time.

‘Psi. The power of the mind, in its purest form. Quite rare, and in many cases difficult to notice. Users specialise in affecting the mental states of themselves and others, as well as silent communication. Battles between psychics are often imperceptible to the naked eye, but no less deadly for it.’

Someday, I’m sure, I’ll find out how to use psi more effectively. With my stats being mostly distributed between intelligence and wisdom, I’m almost as specced towards psi as I am towards mana. It’d be a waste not to use it.

‘Fighting spirit is unlike mana and ki in that it is not a power that dwells naturally within the body, and it cannot be consumed or produced. It is more a reflection of a warrior’s state of mind. Here I say warrior because fighting spirit most often arises in warriors, if at all. It has been described by many words: determination, perseverance, rage. Ultimately, it is simply the willingness to fight, no matter the cost to oneself. Individuals with fighting spirit can often fight through injury and fatigue, exert greater strength than others, are resistant to mental manipulation and can, to some lesser extent, inspire these qualities in others.’

Let’s be honest here: I’m not getting fighting spirit. If it wasn’t for the fact that I can’t feel pain, there’s no way I would be able to run into combat and injure myself so fearlessly.

‘Killing intent. Rather than the will to fight, this is the will to kill. Wielders, without exception, kill for the sake of killing. Observed effects include inspiring unnatural fear and weakness in targets, condensing weapons and, in only the truly depraved, creating bloody warriors to fight for them.’

Yeah, no.

‘Divine power. The power of the gods. The limits of its uses, if there are any, are unknown. The most devout priests and paladins have some access to this power, allowing them to accomplish what can best be described as miracles.’

I wish. Divine power get equals easy mode. No chance of that happening, I don’t think.

The last overview gives me pause, and makes me feel like the world, already fantastical in nature, just got weirder.

‘Superpowers. So rare and unique that they defy proper classification, and not much information is known about them. It is known, however, that every superpower has some weakness or caveat. Perhaps the user tires at an extremely fast rate while using it, or it can only be used once in a blue moon.’

Huh. I wonder if I can gain superpowers through absorb? And how rare are they, exactly?

Questions, questions, questions, the more I answer, the more I have.

In hopes of some more satisfying answers, I read on.

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We are introduced to our final teacher and class for the term the next day. Miss Kate, magic casting techniques.

When I first looked in the room, I thought someone had let their pet python escape, but it was just that the teacher is a lamia. It scared quite a few of the others, so that was somewhat amusing to watch.

It appears as if this class will be about the various techniques used to cast magic, and figuring out which will be best for each of us to use.

...Well, we haven’t gotten into the meat of things yet, but I’m guessing that I’ll be doing formations. It just sounds the most logical to me. The more conceptual something is, the more difficult it is for me to learn, in general.

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After the second day of classes is over, I head back to the library. So many books, so little time. Well, perhaps not, but the superficial information we have been learning so far is far from enough to quench my interest for the arcane.

In fact, I make it a habit to head to the library at the end of the day and read, practically until classes start the next day. Between that and Dreyer’s own classes starting up, we rarely see each other for more than a couple dozen minutes a day.

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At the end of the week of classes, I am, as per usual, perusing the shelves at the library for another book of interest, I hear a voice behind me.

“Do you have a particularly severe teacher, or something?”

I turn. “Sorry?” The speaker is that same young man who was in here on the first day. He’s always been in here before me and is still here when I leave. It’s almost as if the guy lives in here.

“You’ve been in here every night, reading. Nobody does that, not in their first term. If magic didn’t keep this place clean, there would be a solid inch of dust everywhere in this section.” He gestures to the spotless shelves from where he sits, a small stack of books piled on the table in front of him. “So, do you have a particularly severe teacher?”

“Nothing like that. One of my teachers thought I should look in here for some help in mana control, so I guess that was the original cause for my coming here.” I muse. “But there were just too many interesting things to read. Couldn’t help myself.”

“Yeah, I was pretty surprised myself.” He shrugs. “Didn’t think there’d be anything here but guff, perhaps a few entry level texts, but there’s a surprising amount of general knowledge here. You like to read?”

“Used to be pretty much all I did in my spare time.” I reply. “Helped settle me down somewhat when things went pear-shaped.”

“Pear?” He raises an eyebrow curiously.

Right, I guess they don’t have it here. “It’s a sweet fruit, has a curvy shape.”

He nods. “Yeah, life seems to have a habit of throwing curve balls. Books distract, you learn and have fun at the same time. What’s not to like?”

“I know, right?” I agree. “By the way, do you live in the library or something? I’ve never seen you leave.”

“Yeah, I do.” He replies. “Technically, I’m a junior librarian, so I have a small room off the main complex of the library. It’s quite convenient. I do leave occasionally, though. Gotta eat.”

“Nice.” I say appreciatively. “You’ve been at the academy a while, then?”

“I guess you could say that.” He shrugs. “Eight, nearly nine years. I’ve been here longer than some of the teachers.”

He glances slightly at his pile of books, and I take that to mean he wants to get back to reading. “Well, nice to meet you. I’m Gerald, by the way.”

“Raymond.” He waves in response, already turning his head back to the book open in front of him.

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The term progresses slowly but surely. Apart from the veritable trove of information in the library, classes do teach a few interesting things as well - for example the existence of certain languages, written and spoken, through which magic can be more easily cast.

That is to say, casting magic through chanting is not just another form of imagination magic… Although it can be that as well… Magic is weird. So, you can cast magic through language by using it as inspiration or as a medium.

Anyway, what this means is that I’ll almost definitely want to learn one of these magical languages - since common is just about as un-magical as it gets, apparently.

One problem: the first section of the library doesn’t have any books on these languages. So, it looks like I’ll have to wait until second term to start on that.

In what little time I’m not spending in the library, in classes or chatting with Dreyer, I do earnestly try to improve my mana control, but I make very little progress. The proficiency gain is barely noticeable, and it makes me think that I’m missing something in the way I practice, but I have no clue what that might be. I’ve tried controlling as much mana as I can, as little as I can, contorting, compressing and spreading it in every shape my tiny metal mind can imagine. No noticeable improvement.

So I put it to the back of my mind, for now. I immerse myself in learning what I can, conversing with my few new friends and a whole lot of reading.

The calmness, the sheer regularity of the academic life and the familiarity of it all almost lulls me into a sense that the world is a safe place. That I could learn here forever, and nothing bad would ever happen.

I want it to be true. Some part of me wishes that I could believe it to be true. But I can’t. I think back and I remember, in vivid panoramic detail, those farmers risking their lives to reclaim their homes. The casual crimes rife throughout the cities, their perpetrators walking free and with peace of mind. The devastation the demons and denizens of hell visit upon each other.

That part of the world isn’t about to go away just because I found a nice place. And even if the academy seems safe now… No place ever is. Not after I died in my own home, from some flash of light.

No. Even now, I have to do my best to get stronger. I’m not comfortable with others being able to decide my destiny on a mere whim. On Earth, even reaching the top of the food chain wasn’t enough to guarantee you safety or security. But here, it’s different. People are even more powerful, and so am I. I don’t care about being the strongest. I’m not some saint or hero who aspires to fix all the world’s problems - as if that were possible. But I’m not going to let this life end like my last one: alone, helpless and with the largest achievement to my name being a high score in a crappy, obscure video game.

I don’t know what I’ll do. But whatever I choose to do, I first need the ability to protect that lifestyle.

Right now, magic is the best way to do that, despite a slow start.

So I pay attention in the lessons, even when it gets boring. I listen, and remember. It helps that I don’t slowly nod off when things get dreary.

Then, of course, comes the assignments, and I realise that I need to figure out a way to write, and fast.

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Getting supplies isn’t difficult. The academy has a store with most of the basic supplies, so it’s just a matter of utilising my card for the first time. The paper and ink themselves aren’t particularly expensive, but I have to spend a bit more to get it delivered, because I can’t really carry anything more than myself and the card.

Once at Dreyer’s office, he helps me carry it through the portal to his house - I made sure to pick a time he wasn’t teaching any classes and would be available. From there, it’s just me, a sheaf of paper and a jar of ink, all sitting on the table.

I review my options. I could use self manipulation, writing with ink on one of my tines as if with a finger. It wouldn’t be too difficult to write like that, but the problem is that I wouldn’t have a good view of what I would be writing, and that might make me prone to mistakes.

A similar problem would exist if I were to wield myself telekinetically as a pen, and it might even be harder to write.

Or… I could probably just directly lift and apply ink with telekinesis. A little bit of ink barely weighs anything, so it shouldn’t be a problem to keep myself aloft while controlling it, in terms of psi consumption.

Since it seemed the least likely to present me with significant problems, I decide to test it out.

Sending out a tendril of psi, I attempt to lift a little bit of ink from the jar… Only for it to drip back in.

Concentrating, I shape my psi into a miniature dish and dip it in before lifting it up. No dice. Clearly, my psi isn’t watertight.

I try again, focusing on keeping my psi as a single, continuous membrane upon which droplets of ink could sit. This time, a globule of ink remains suspended in the air, held by an invisible force.

Success! But now how was I to apply it? I couldn’t exactly just splash it all down onto the page, after all.

Then came an idea: if I could make my psi watertight, then could I make it airtight?

It takes me several tries, but after finally getting the right shape, I lower my psychic contraption into the ink… Then lift up another portion.

Like magic, the ink gets sucked upwards, leaving me with a thin tube of ink.

Now, it’s not visible, but what I’ve done is adapted a needleless dropper, like the type you might use to measure medicine, into a psychic construct: I push the plunger down the tube to expel the air, then draw it back up to create a small suction force, drawing in the ink.

Now I can easily and carefully apply the ink… Aaaand that’s a page ruined. One moment of lost concentration and all I have is an ink blot. Good thing I thought something like this might happen and separated the pages.

Well, there’s still some space on the page I can use to practice.

It takes me a few hours of practice and some minor alterations to my psychic ‘pen’ - mainly creating a sharper nib and narrowing the ink tube - until I manage to get the image steady enough and the ink output at the right rate to attempt writing.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Then I encounter more problems: not enough pressure on the page, too much pressure, not being able to sync up my writing speed with my ink output rate, and so on.

I practice for a few more hours with some improvement, but it still doesn’t look much better than a child’s scrawls.

...To be honest, my writing wasn’t exactly pretty in my past life, either. Unreadable, by some people’s standards, not that it mattered. Digital documents were the superior medium, anyway.

It’s going slowly, but I’m not worried. I have more than a week until this stuff is due.

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“...Spin the rods of mana clockwise, moving them in a counter-clockwise spiral motion in front of you…”

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“...Proper pronunciation is key. Repeat after me: Three bees on wee trees did see twee peas…”

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“...And then it exploded. Let me tell you, he was not expecting that, soot in his hair for weeks…”

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“...The proper classification and identification of magic is a subject to minor debate to this day, although most agree that there is no perfect solution…”

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The term nears its end before I can blink… Literally. I still haven’t tried testing out the doppelganger skill.

Quite a lot of it was the teachers hammering home the same information over and over in different ways. I guess they were really making sure we know the basics.

Well, Mrs Felt was an exception. Half the time she was just telling stories and jokes. Actually, now that I think about it, most of those stories involved someone messing up their magic… Maybe she wasn’t so off-topic, after all.

Of course, I’ve figured out my writing problems… Well, mostly. I still end up with an ink splatter every now and again if I get distracted by something, and my handwriting still isn’t stellar. But it’s workable.

Results start coming in. I do well, naturally. If it’s just theory and memory, that’s my area of expertise. We’ll have to see how I go when it comes to the practical aspects of magic.

Finally, the term ends, and the academy grows quieter. It doesn’t close, but many of the students don’t stay during the break period.

I do. Where else would I go?

Most of the time I spend in the library. Raymond isn’t there - he stopped showing up around halfway through the term. Said he’d finished reading everything of interest in the first section of the library, and was going back to the other sections.

I get the feeling. There are only a few bookcases worth of books in this section, and I’ve read through most of them. Most of the ones left aren’t very interesting or informative. Still, there’s not a whole lot to do besides reading and practicing mana control, so here I am.

I spend some time over the break discussing with Dreyer what units I should do next term. He’s given me a fair idea as to what options I’ll have, so I think I know what I’ll do, but the final decision will have to be made on the day, when I have all the options in front of me.

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Before too long a letter comes, saying that I have passed my first term and will be welcomed back for a second. On top of that, due to my exceptional results, my scholarship would continue, meaning that my fees for the units I take this term will be waived. Accompanying the letter is a card with another two thousand Rho on it.

Nice.

I register my mana and transfer the cash into my original card, which I’ve barely dipped into in the first place.

The rest of the break I spend reading, at least until the auditorium gets busy with new students.

At that point, I start mentally going back through my memories of all of my lessons of the previous term, making sure it’s all nice and fresh in my mind for the new term. Besides, maybe I’ll notice something I missed.

It happens quite often, actually. I have a huge visual range, but my mind can’t go fast enough to catch all the details it sees. There might be a few dozen people talking at once in my area, but I might only be able to follow one conversation, for instance. Still, it’s all there in memory, so going over it can reveal new information.

Doing all that takes quite some time.

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Before I know it, it’s time for the new term, and everyone is lining up for the assembly.

It looks like maybe an eighth of the people who enrolled at the same time as me have dropped out, for whatever reasons, and in front of us are a fresh new cohort.

Although there aren’t any announcements that pique my interest, I at least recognise a few more of the staff members and teachers.

After it all finished, we are all led off to choose our classes. I notice the older years heading off in a different direction - they must choose their classes elsewhere.

We ourselves are led to a very large room that looks like it might normally be a workshop of some kind, and then the teachers there start handing everyone lists of all the possible classes we can take.

I end up having to hold it in front of me with telekinesis, as all the benches and tables immediately get swooped up.

The list is more extensive than I had realised. Most every class is a ‘basic’ level class, with the exception of advanced mana control.

Still, I want to start with some simpler, more straightforward things before I try something like artificing or alchemy. And even though I spent most of last term reading to pass the time, I think I’m going to go with just four classes, just in case they’re more demanding than I expect.

Besides, I should have more access in the library this term, so there should be much more interesting things for me to read.

Let’s see… If I’m starting with the basics, then of course I’m going with this one. This one should be good, too, and this… Now that I think about it, doesn’t this have way more applications than just the typical ones? Just thinking about it scares me.

And last of all… May as well do this. Should let me do the next level next term. Might be helpful later on.

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Gerald: Status

Status

Name: Gerald

Race: Living Fork

Level: 33

Experience: 6314.0/7600

Gender: None

Age: 20 months (local time)

Allegiance: None

Fame: 1

Strength: 6.5 (65.0)

Intelligence: 54.7

Dexterity: 9.0 (18.0)

Wisdom: 54.5

Charisma: 6.0

Luck: 12.1

Hardness: 26.94

Durability: 18.54/18.54

Mana: 1094/1094

Mana regen: 10.90/min (11.88)

Psi: 545/545

Psi regen: 5.47/min

Ki: 35425/3542 (35425)

Ki regen: 3.54 (35.42)/day

Unspent stat points: 0

Titles

Living – You are a living being, and as such, the energies of life heal you and the energies of death damage you.

-Trait: Average life energy absorption -Trait: Average death energy weakness

-Trait: minute life affinity -Trait: negative minute death affinity

Progenitor – The first of your species, and its forefather. Your reputation affects the reputation of your entire race.

-Trait: Minor fame gain enhancement -Trait: 50% of your fame is added to the fame of your race

Household object: Being an everyday, household object makes other beings less likely to notice you and mention you to others.

-Trait: Small fame gain reduction -Trait: Small presence reduction

Assumed inanimacy – Despite being a living entity and continually in the presence of other living entities, few have noticed your existence, assuming you to be an inanimate object. People are slightly less likely to notice you and less likely to notice your life energy.

-Trait: Minor presence reduction -Trait: Moderate life presence reduction

Fork – You are a fork. As such, you are designed to pierce, scoop and carry food.

-Trait: Minute taste enhancement -Trait: Minute piercing enhancement (restricted to food)

-Trait: Minute carry capacity increase (Restricted to food)

Second life – You have lived, and died, once before. While you died young, the experience nonetheless is an advantage over others. -Stats: Wisdom + 1, Intelligence + 2

Clinically sane – You have experienced insanity and overcome it, one way or another. The experience has changed you, for better or worse.

-Stats: Luck +5, Wisdom +1, Dexterity +0.5, Strength +0.5, Intelligence +1

Ouroboros – Like the serpent of legend, you bit your own tail. Then you ate it. Weirdo.

Stat – Luck +2, Charisma +1, Wisdom -1, Wisdom +2

Undead slaughterer – Killer of many horrors of the night, you can instinctively sense nearby undead, especially those harmful to you. All stats increased by 2 when attacking undead.

Traits

Life energy absorption (Average) – life energy heals you, causing you to regain durability.

Death energy weakness (Average) – death energy damages you, reducing your durability.

Life affinity (Minute) – You find it easier to gain life related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Negative death affinity (Minute) – You find it harder to gain death related skills and proficiencies than if you did not have this trait.

Fame gain reduction (Minor) – The amount of fame you gain is reduced.

Presence reduction (Small +1) – Others are less likely to notice you.

50% Fame added to racial fame – The fame of your race is equal to 50% of your fame plus the added fame of all other members of the species divided by the number of members in your species.

Life presence reduction (Moderate) – Others are less likely to notice that you are alive.

Taste enhancement (Minute) – All food that touches you tastes slightly better.

Piercing enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – It is slightly easier for you to pierce food.

Carry capacity enhancement (Minute) (Restricted to food) – You can carry slightly more food than appearances would suggest.

Mana touched (Minor) – Mana permeates your body, changing it in some ways.

Herculean Strength (Large) – In possession of the ability to exert strength far beyond that of your peers. Multiplies base strength (Before using passive or active skills) by 10.

Structured sanity (Moderate) – a well-structured mind is a strong mind. You are resistant to mind affecting or altering affects, such as fear, charm and hypnosis.

Magic metal – You have gained the properties of the magic metal, Mithril. Your body conducts mana at twice the normal rate. Your passive mana absorption is doubled. Your maximum mana is now equal to Intelligence multiplied by 20 instead of Intelligence multiplied by 10. Your maximum durability is increased by your maximum mana divided by 100. Your hardness is increased by max mana divided by 100.

Psychic – You have unlocked the hidden potential of your mind. Stat unlock: psi.

Poison Resistance (Huge) – You are completely immune to weak and ordinary poisons. The effects of more potent poisons on you are greatly reduced.

Flea-bitten (Minor) – Fleas instinctively move towards you.

Physical damage reduction (Minute) – Damage taken that would do under 5% of your total durability as damage is reduced by 5%.

Ki Practitioner: You have gained the ability to control the energy within you, and to reinforce it with the energy around you, enabling you to perform far beyond the normal limits of your body.

Stat unlock: Ki.

Water-Proof (Minor) – Water, and many water based fluids, will slip from your surface with great ease.

Feather-weight (Minute) – You feel light as a feather. A feather that weighs slightly less than you originally did, that is. 1% weight reduction.

Cat’s flexibility (Minor) – Base Dexterity is multiplied by 2. Range of movement of joints increased by 1.1 times.

Curse resistance (Minor) – You have developed an innate resistance to curses. Reduces the effect of weak curses on you.

Heat resistance (Minor) – You have developed an innate resistance to heat. Reduces discomfort and damage inflicted upon you by high temperatures. Slightly increases your melting point.

Skills

Absorb (Advanced) (Racial, Low Unique) 34.17% - Allows the absorption of energy, or substances through the surface of the body or at a distance of (Int*Wis)/10mm. Rate of absorption can be controlled. Although this ability is magical in nature, as it is a form of mana control, and mana is also absorbed, mana cost is 0. Currently the only form of energy able to be absorbed is mana. Absorbing substances has a minor chance of giving traits, abilities and skills relating to the substance.

Mana sight (Expert) (Low Unique, Passive/Toggled) 2.84% - You are capable of seeing smaller congregations of mana than before within (Intelligence*Wisdom)/1.75m. Their forms are now distinct. You can now differentiate mana by type.

Self-repair (Master) (Low Unique, Active) 10.95% - By expending a type of energy available to you, you can repair your own durability and recover your original form. Current energies able to be used: Mana, Psi, Ki. Exchange ratio: 5 mana: 0.1 durability, 10 Psi: 0.1 durability, 10 Ki: 0.1 durability.

Telepathy (Advanced) (High Rare, Active) 41.13% - Allows one to communicate with other beings in exchange for 0.5 Psi/sec*distance between user and target in meters, to a maximum range of (Wisdom*Intelligence)/5m. Allows the user to share emotions and thoughts with the recipient.

Body of deadly poison (Advanced) (Low Unique, Passive/Toggled) 0.10% – Deadly poison courses throughout your entire body. So potent is this poison that even touching you will cause great sickness and partial paralysis for a short period of time. Potency of poison scales a small amount with proficiency.

Flee (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive/Conditional) 3.28% - Multiplies base dexterity by 1.5 when running away from something. Will deactivate if offensive action is taken. Will not activate if you do not perceive the thing you are running away from as a threat.

Body of weak acid (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive/Toggled) 2.07% - A weak acid courses throughout your body and on your skin. So weak is this acid that it acts better as a cleaning agent than a weapon. Acidity scales minutely with proficiency.

Magic edge (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Active) 7.14% – You have discovered how to clad the edge of your blade in magic power, increasing the power of your strikes. Increase in power varies depending on mana spent.

Gaming – Minesweeper (Expert) (Mid rare, Passive) 13.29% - You’ve sunk way too much time into this game. And despite the statistics saying 0 wins, 307 losses, you are way better at this than almost everyone else. Slightly increased analytical abilities. Slight instinctive ability to correctly guess the outcome of a 50/50 gamble.

Meditation (Master) (High Rare, Active) 15.72%: Enter into a state unburdened by the worries of the physical world. There is only you, and your thoughts that exist in this world. While in this state, mana regeneration multiplied by 3.0, Psi regeneration multiplied by 3.0, Ki generated at 25 times the normal rate. User is also calmed and receives slight resistance to mind affecting or altering affects.

Ki blast (Advanced) (Mid Rare, Active) 47.28%: Expel Ki from your body in a concentrated blast. Power varies with ki infused. With your lack of experience, you are not able to accurately control the amount of ki you infuse into the skill, it may vary by up to 10 points.

Form manipulation – Self (Expert) (Low Unique, Active) 49.27% - Through the use of mana, you can manipulate your own form at will. Cannot change density or mass. Costs 3.5 mana/second while changing form, costs 6 mana/minute while in a form not your original.

WARNING! Do not use this ability if you are of a race with aspects that could result in death if you were to change them E.G. internal organs, mana pathways, et cetera.

Lip reading (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive) 79.16% - You have learned how to understand what people are saying by the movement of their lips. Doesn’t hurt that you can see their tongue and jaw movement, either. Rarely inaccurate, you can usually tell what people are saying, unless they have some crazy accent. Good luck with those.

Nine lives (Static) (Passive) – You will avoid the next eight attacks that would be deadly to you, seemingly by accident. After avoiding eight attacks, this skill will disappear.

Charges remaining: 8

Telekinesis (Expert) (Mid Rare, Active) 13.78% - Through Psi, your mind pushes at the world around you, moving objects without the need for physical contact. More Psi is required to produce greater forces. Currently slightly inefficient.

External Ki manipulation (Basic) (Low Rare, Active) 0.51% - You have discovered how to manipulate Ki outside of your body. Doesn’t mean you’re any good at it. Difficulty of control increases drastically with distance and quantity of Ki.

Magic missile (Expert) (Mid Uncommon, Active) 91.49% - Fires a projectile of mana. Power scales with mana consumption, unable to exceed 50 mana per shot. Maximum range = Intelligence*1.75/metres. If remotely controlling, there is an additional mana cost of 0.65 mana/sec, otherwise direction of travel is set at initial creation of shot.

Mana control (Expert) (High Uncommon, Passive) 99.31% - Your practice with magic has led to a great familiarity with handling mana. Maximum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 100 mana. Minimum quantity of mana able to be controlled reliably: 0.2 mana.

Power stab (Advanced) (High Common, Active) 13.12% - Multiplies the speed and power of a stab by 1.2. Cooldown: 4 minutes

Mud bath (Basic) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 0.00% - Your injuries heal faster when they are covered with mud, by 1.2 times. Slightly lowered chance of contracting infection and parasites from this activity.

…However, as you are for most purposes an object, this skill does not affect you.

Climbing (Advanced) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 0.00% - You have a slightly increased ability to find handholds and footholds when climbing something, as well as a slightly increased ability to maintain grip on smaller handholds.

Melee weaponry – Spear (Advanced) (Mid Common, Passive) 0.00% - You have some experience using a standard spear. Minor increased grip strength when wielding this weapon, and +1 to Strength and Dexterity while wielding this weapon. Maintaining this type of weapon is easier for you.

Doppelganger (Static) (High Unique, Active) – Switch between your original appearance and that of a Human Male. Costs 1000 mana/min.

Psychic translation (Static) (Low Unique, Passive) – Through subconscious psychic analysis of thought waves and language patterns, allows you to understand (and temporarily speak) any spoken language as if it is your native tongue. Does not apply to non-vocal languages.

Flattery (Advanced) (Low Uncommon, Passive) 0.00% – Skill and tireless effort is the surest way to the top. But sometimes, a few lined pockets and some glitzy compliments are all you need. Others are more likely to have positive opinions of you. Affected positively by charisma. Synergistic effect with the ‘deception’ skill.

Deception (Advanced) (High Common, Passive) 0.07% – Whether the end game is a knife in the back or a slowly drained bank account makes no difference. It’s not like they don’t lie to you, either. Others are more likely to believe your words. Affected positively by charisma. Synergistic effect with the ‘flattery’ skill.

Gaming - Tic-Tac-Toe (Master) (Low Unique, Passive) 48.97% - You are a master at Tic-Tac-Toe. Congratulations. Slight instinctive ability to correctly guess the outcome of 50/50 and one in three gambles.

Multitasking (Advanced) (Mid Uncommon, Passive) 47.86% - You are skilled at doing multiple things at once. Small increase to your ability to keep track of multiple things at once, small decrease in the reduction in precision when performing multiple tasks at once.

Common language-Spoken (Expert) (High Common, Passive) 78.28% - You know most of the commonly used words in the common language. Only obscure and occupation specific words are likely to be outside your knowledge.

Common language-Written (Master) (Mid Uncommon, Passive) 13.59% - You can not only read common the right way up, but upside-down, sideways and reflected without much trouble. The very few words you don’t recognise you can understand from context, and you can read like lightning if you need to.

Small increase in the ability to ignore superfluous text and descriptions to find the actual information you want. Allows you to skip over info dumps and flowery descriptions without flinching even slightly.