Shuixing was nursing a mug of warm tea and thinking contemplatively about yesterday's harrowing experiences when Natsuko came a-pounding at her door.

“Shuiiiiiii! Heeeeeelp!”

Shuixing sighed and conjured her rod, already knowing what her friend wanted. Natsuko was mid-way through another moaning call when Shui opened the door. Wincing, bleary-eyed, messy-haired, Natsuko stood outside her door wearing nothing but someone’s stolen smoking jacket and her boots. “Tummy and head hurt: Please fix.”

Shuixing put her hand on her hip. “I am not going to keep fixing your hangovers. It only encourages you to drink more!”

“One more time, please!” Natsuko said.

“You said that last time.”

“Come on, I know my best friend in the whole world wouldn’t deliberately make me suffer, would she?” Natsuko said, throwing Shuixing into a bear hug. Shuixing stood like a mouse in a cat’s jaws as Natsuko shook her back and forth. “Also, I’m seconds from hurling all over your floor.”

Shuixing fumbled for her rod to cast Ablutions on Natsuko and cure the poison.

“Phew. So much better. Thanks Shui,” said Natsuko. “Tell you what, I’ll pay you back by making breakfast.”

Shuixing looked at her funny. “Since when do you have money for ingredients?”

Natsuko grabbed one of Shuixing's pans and turned on her stove. “I vaguely remember punching a tree last night and eggs fell out. The rest are, you know, just everyday things…”

“From my kitchen,” Shuixing said.

Natsuko smiled innocently and took down some rice, sugar, and tomatoes. It was an old favorite of theirs: Omurice. Despite her dire financial straits, Natsuko had been the chef for their adventuring party years prior. Her skill was such that, miraculously, with only eggs, rice, tomatoes, and sugar, she could cook up a full omurice, complete with processed ketchup. It was like magic.

While Natsuko cooked, Shuixing sat back down at her table of research and let her eyes glaze over. She had still not fully recovered from witnessing not only a different set of physics, but one which seemed more plausible, more rational, than the “real” world. Why did the Yishang resummon them when they died? Why did rocks hide secret passages then dissolve after being crumbled? How could you whack rocks over and over and never dull your weapon? And what other absurdities were hiding in plain sight? Interrupting her deep thoughts, a plate wafted into her vision, moving up and down like a bumblebee.

“Madame Shuixing, your omurice,” Natsuko said, mocking Sofiane’s accent.

Shuixing felt guilty for giggling. As usual, Natsuko’s handiwork was perfect, creating something with such a complex depth of flavor that Shui could've sworn the recipe should be three times as large. Several bites later and the fats and carbs were greasing the wheels of her brain.

“Perhaps we should speak with Sofiane and get more information from him about how he learned of this bizarre dungeon,” Shuixing said.

“I saw him at the bar last night but then I… don’t remember. Everything’s a bit fuzzy,” Natsuko said in-between oversized bites of omurice.

“Let’s ask Klaus," Shuixing said.

They didn’t make it to Klaus. Instead, they found Sofiane passed out in a purple-colored puddle outside The Devil’s Cut. Natsuko nudged him with her foot. The purple lump moaned and swatted at her. After waiting a minute for him to move again, Natsuko put the sole of her boot on Sofiane’s head and rubbed his face in the dirt. The lump turned into a flailing fish.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Sofiane said, spitting dirt out of his mouth and clutching his throbbing head.

“Waking you up, you hungover bum,” Natsuko said.

Shuixing bit her tongue.

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Wincing and trying not to move his neck and jaw too much, Sofiane said, “please, just let me spend the morning recovering, I—”

Natsuko nudged Shuixing. She sighed and rang her bell. His hangover was instantly cured by a potent cocktail of Healing Waters and Ablutions, plus some plain old water. Sofiane slammed down the water, spilling half of it on his purple waistcoat.

“Oh wow. I'd never considered using medico-magic for hangover cures. That is… dangerously enabling,” Sofiane said.

“I'm aware,” Shuixing said.

Natsuko put her hands on her hips. “Aaa~lrighty! Let’s talk about next moves.”

The first thing they did was to go back to the rock. It took half an hour of searching to realize there was no longer a rock.

“No, look, I was standing here when the goblins came charging in. I remember their camp being in that spot!” Sofiane said, lining up his extended arm with the goblins’ waving flag.

A wind rolled through and shook the pines, filling their nose with pinewood fragrance at the same time as it chilled them to the bone. They all knew rocks didn’t disappear unless they were supposed to. This didn’t stop Natsuko from asking, “maybe it got moved?”

That didn’t even warrant a response. Even if you moved a rock, it would appear right back where it was supposed to be overnight. This thought prompted Shuixing to pull out a notebook and jot down any detail she could think of to pour over later. Natsuko kicked a few unrelated rocks.

“Well, if there was anything else down there, we sure as hell can’t get to it now,” Sofiane said, kicking a rock unrelated to the unrelated rocks Natsuko was kicking.

Shuixing looked up from her notes. “As much as I would have liked to do further research, tempting fate twice in as many days was perhaps not the most advisable course of action."

Natsuko was disappointed for other reasons. The threat of true mortal peril, the kind where you weren’t just revived with 10% lower stats, was more intoxicating than liquor. Sofiane was also fiending like an addict, though his drug of choice was experience points.

“I refuse to be defeated! You both need to help me think of something else that I— that we can do to put ourselves back on the Use-Number rankings. There has to be something. Only losers give up,” Sofiane said.

Natsuko snorted. “We need to help you?”

“Maybe not madame Shuixing," Sofiane said. "But you are 250 Ying in debt to me, in case you forgot.”

He pulled out a piece of paper with Natsuko’s signature on it offering to pay back the full price of her drinking tab.

“You said that was a gift!”

“No, you said it was a gift, I said it was a loan. You signed off that it was a loan! I wrote this down and asked you to confirm you understood three times!” Sofiane said.

“I don’t remember so it doesn’t count.”

“Your signature is right there!”

“You can’t legally consent while intoxicated, don’t you know that!?” Natsuko replied. “Shui back me up!”

Shuixing shook her head, not wanting to get involved.

Sofiane folded his arms. "You can pay me back by helping think up ways we can get some experience—”

“And money.”

“—and money. And maybe higher level equipment, who knows.”

“Screw it. I’ll do what I can,” Natsuko said.

Shuixing nodded in agreement. Somehow, making the vows out loud made them feel better. It'd been years since either Natsuko or Shuixing had thought about making a play for increasing their Use-Number. It was hare-brained, and it probably wouldn’t go anywhere, but what else were they doing?

As they walked back through the forest to Vermögenburgh, Shuixing asked Sofiane, “how did you find out about this dungeon by the way?”

“Hmm? Oh, it's in this book about strange occurrences written by a Non-Hero. But the 3D map thing I got from this Hero with like—” Sofiane brushed his shoulders. “—flaring shoulder pads and... some kinda instrument-sword, I think? I didn’t get his name, but I know everyone in the Top 40 personally, and he’s not one of them."

Natsuko and Shuixing shared a look. There were other instrument weapons in the world. There wasn’t any reason to think it was their old teammate Hemiola, especially since he had died in a dimension-jumping accident, but it made them wonder. Shuixing was planning to ask some identifying questions when they were stopped by a Hero in a black trench coat, pistols akimbo at his side, long black hair flowing behind him. Maple leaves grazed the air between them.

“It’s been a long time, Natsuko. Time to settle our score,” the man said, spinning his pistols.

Sofiane drew his rapier, electric charge rippling from his neck to the tip of his sword, ready to fight to the death.

Natsuko rubbed her temples. “Ugh, not this idiot…”

“Hey Pechorin. How've you been?” Shuixing asked.