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For Justice! - A Tale Of Paladins And Hammers
Chapter 4 - Big, Mean, Willpowered Machine

Chapter 4 - Big, Mean, Willpowered Machine

I found myself feeling rather annoyed as i had been basically dropped like a sack of potatoes by the teleportation circle into what seemed to be a poorly lit cave, not only that but the teleportation circle had opened about 5 feet above the ground and i had landed on my ass, which was now rather sore because of that small annoyance, through the notifications i was getting on my status upped my mood considerably despite the current state of my ass.

Your Mind and Spirit have been successfully primed to to accept massive changes from a trait without tearing itself apart!, would you like activate the trait The Determinator, now?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    YES             NO

It seemed that the shifting i felt in myself was not exactly me changing yet, but apparently just the universe shifting things around to make sure that my mind and soul didn't explode into meat paste from taking such massive changes all at once, It seemed such massives changes to the self if not done properly could have rather undesirable results. I had already deliberated on whether no i was willing to change myself into a different person or not and decided the answer was a resounding yes, so in an effort to avoid stalling, I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and took the plunge.

You gained a new trait! Congratulations! You are now a proud owner of the trait, The Determinator, May you once again find such good fortune.

I felt the building blocks that made up my mind shifting and churning, the emotions that had been bouncing around in my head like a bunch of rubber bullets shooting themselves at my brain lately began receding, no less intense, but I just felt better able to carry on whether they were there or not.

Congratulations! your willpower stat has reached 100! You Have an Iron Will, you are man who could have tragedy after tragedy befall them and still keep going, not happily necessarily but would keep on keeping on without being broken nonetheless, all willpower substats will now be increased by 15% of your willpower passively instead of the standard 10%

The persistent want and need to do something also seemed to be steadily rising, but not in the way of the usual ant's in my pants feeling that was normally what motivated me to do something, more like a forming of clearer purpose, A persistent goal that would keep me centered and focused.

Congratulations! your substat motivation has reached 100! you have found a Life Purpose, you know what you want to do in life and will strive for it consistently, few people manage to find a something to fully dedicate their lives to, most even when they find a goal only give half effort to the completion of this goal, never commiting themselves fully, you are one of those few exceptions that does not do things halfway, you will gain a bonus of 15% to Willpower and it's substats when pursuing something that directly furthers that purpose. Your LIfe Purpose is The Wellbeing and Happiness Of Those Around You.

I felt centered and clear, more so then i had in my entire life, like a mental block that had kept me from pursuing and fully understanding my goals had been lifted, It is hard to explain but it just felt.... Right.

Eureka! your willpower stat has reached 250! You have a BlackSteel Will, You could be tortured relentlessly for years on end nonstop and still hold your head high and spit in your tormentors face, Never Compromising, Never Bowing, Never Broken. all willpower substats will now be increased by 25% of your willpower passively Instead of your old 15%

I felt harder, more confident, and just generally more badass, like i could walk through a field of salted razor blades for miles and keep on going. Hell i could probably do exactly that at this point.

Eureka! your substat motivation has reached 250! You have found True Purpose, While anyone can find something to dedicate their lives to, even fully and utterly, you have found the one, singular, exact perfect purpose in all the realms of infinity that is perfect for you, not many are capable of achieving this kind of unrelenting and unwavering dedication, and you will be awarded for it properly. You will gain a percentage bonus of 30% to willpower and it's substats and a percentage bonus of 10% to constitution and it's substats when pursuing something that directly furthers your true purpose, Your True Purpose is The Wellbeing and Happiness Of Those Around You.

(Your bonuses to stats from doing actions that fulfill your purpose will not earn capstone abilities)

Forget walking through a field of goddamn razorblades to help some random passerby in trouble, the razorblades would have to walk through me, I was what razorblades FEARED.

BY THE GODS! YOU HAVE REACHED A WILLPOWER OF 750! YOU HAVE A WILL OF WHITE ADAMANT!, If you desired it and could survive it, you could sit criss cross applesauce and meditate until the heatdeath of a universe and it would not bother you in the slightest, the eons and passage of time do not wear and tear on your mind, despite being a normal mortal in terms of your physical body still being able to die of old age, the passage of time bothers your mind about as much as any immortal being, and you do not have the disadvantage of there mind having no grasp on the concept of time and missing about 100 years of stuff hapenning after sitting on a park bench for a quick nap, The God of Suffering and Torture Ulukar Itself could not break you if it had all the time in the world, all willpower substats will now be increased by 40% of your willpower passively, you have reached the willpower soft cap, increasing willpower will now become exponentially more difficult. (You have received the title of Man Of Impeccable Strength for reaching the willpower softcap)

BY THE GODS! YOU HAVE REACHED A MOTIVATION OF 750! YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR SOUL PURPOSE!, You have achieved a feat even the gods themselves have struggled to achieve in the past, you have found your Soul Purpose, every being since the beginning of creation and the multiverse itself with a soul was created with a Soul Purpose, this purpose would not only influence their lives throughout one life, but all of them throughout eternity, a man who takes over countries or at least attempts to throughout many lifetimes might have a Soul Purpose of personal power and domination, A woman who creates beautiful works of art for the world to see might have a Soul Purpose of creation and making beauty, And even then they do not know there soul purpose, it simply influences them subtly, the same man might turn the world he dominates into a dystopia or utopia depending on his life in that world, And the same women's art might be serene and calming, or macabre and morbid depending on what inspires her. But you know your Purpose, what you were made to do, it was written into your very core since your soul's birth Eons ago, Your soul Purpose is E%rr*#oR

An error has been encountered, a shard of the multiversal origin of good from the Paragon Of Kindness (Variant)(Evolving Trait) trait has interacted with the meaning your soul purpose! The Shard has requested to have you change it from "The Wellbeing and Happiness Of Those Around You." to "To Bring Justice And Light To Every Last Darkened Corner Of The Multiverse" would you like to accept this change? accepting this change will evolve the trait Paragon Of Kindness and will grow this shard of good, possibly giving greater power and potential then before.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          YES           NO

My first reaction to this interruption of the growth of my burgeoning unstoppable will was a great annoyance, I didn't care how damn holier than thou this fucking macguffin crystal in my soul was, It still annoyed me that it was asking to have me change a decision that had been made literal Eons ago. I was about to click no, but then a thought struck me, This purpose was not the one i had chosen, some kind of originator, impossibly powerful, bullshit creator god or similar force had created this purpose for me. I had not chosen this purpose, sure i thought it was a great thing to devote yourself to, but it was so... small, if i had the opportunity, the potential to give myself a higher calling, to possibly make a decision that would better enable me to help other people, wasn't it my responsibility to make that decision? Not to mention the unsubtle wink wink nudge nudge of it telling me that accepting the change could make me more powerful, and any more power that i currently had was a good thing, so i asked myself, did i want to just be the man who did right by the people around them and made them happy, but only them? Or did i want to be the man who changed the entire world, hell the entire Multiverse for the better, who had brought justice to the entirety of creation, who brought low all those arrogant pricks on high who stomped on the faces of the weak with metal clad boots for shits and giggles. To be the avenging angel who brought light to the pits of hell itself, Hell Yeah, this deal practically sold itself. The yes button was pressed, and the train of blue screens that had been monetarily stopped by this decision once again chugged along once again like the little engine that could.

BY THE GODS! YOU HAVE REACHED A MOTIVATION OF 750! YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR SOUL PURPOSE!, You have achieved a feat even the gods themselves have struggled to achieve in the past, you have found your Soul Purpose, every being since the beginning of creation and the multiverse itself with a soul was created with a Soul Purpose, this purpose would not only influence their lives throughout one life, but all of them throughout eternity, a man who takes over countries or at least attempts to throughout many lifetimes might have a Soul Purpose of personal power and domination, A woman who creates beautiful works of art for the world to see might have a Soul Purpose of creation and making beauty, And even then they do not know there soul purpose it simply influences them subtly, the same man might turn the world he dominates into a dystopia or utopia depending on his life in that world, And the same women's art might be serene and calming, or macabre and morbid depending on what inspires her. But you know your Purpose, what you were made to do, it was written into your very core since your soul's birth Eons ago, Your soul Purpose is "To Bring Justice And Light To Every Last Darkened Corner Of The Multiverse". You will now know this purpose in all your lives for all eternity until your soul is destroyed and always receive the benefits of this trait, even if reincarnated to a universe with different physical laws, Your drive to complete your goals is awe inspiring, Charisma and the substats Persuasiveness, Charm, and Leadership are increased by 25, When in pursuit of your Soul Purpose you gain a percentage bonus of 60% to willpower and it's substats, a percentage bonus of 25% to constitution and it's substats and a percentage bonus of 10% to Strength. (You have been awarded the title Soul Of Justice for finding your unique soul purpose and reaching the softcap of motivation)

(Your bonuses to stats from doing actions that fulfill your purpose will not earn capstone abilities)

YOU HAVE A MYTHICAL SOUL PURPOSE, The harder a purpose is to accomplish, the higher tier the purpose is, moving forward on the path of your purpose and furthering this goal can give rewards depending on it's rarity, while every soul purpose is at least RARE as a person finding the purpose embedded in their soul is not a common happening, but your purpose is the highest rarity of MYTHICAL and will have effects that will change the entire cosmo's at a core level if completed, so while obtaining the rewards that furthering your purpose gives you will be great and powerful in nature thanks to it's MYTHICAL rarity, it will also have difficulty to obtain these rewards similar to the benefit it gives, know that your path will fraught with peril beyond's most imagining, and it's completion won't even be possible for a mortal. But as you follow your path, you may not find yourself mortal for long.

To take the first step of your path, slay at least 5 beings of a alignment of at least Evil (7) of level 250 or greater,

Current Beings of Great Evil and Power slain 0/5

I was almost laughing in hysterically at this point as a grin split across my face, it was like for all the universe had decided to unfairly whoop my ass earlier, it was now balancing the scales for once, while i would much rather be making sweet, sweet love to my wife back home, or reading a bedtime story to my daughter, this currently wasn't all horrible. I mean the chance to become something akin to a immortal being. With along with my willpower made sure that i would suffer from none none of the horrible repercussions of that immortality would normally bring in story books, i was pretty sure i was incapable of apathy anymore, and pain no longer bothered me, it was still there just as strong, but now i was able to make it so it was just background noise, present but not something i was paying attention to. i never believed that a life of eternal ennui and apathy was a life at all, and therefore wasn't actual immortality to me, but it seemed true immortality in my own definition of it, was a possibility for me. I definitely wouldn't be able to complete even the first objective anytime soon if i was being honest with myself, but to even know that such a thing was a possibility made me ecstatic.

UNBELIEVABLE, UNTHINKABLE, IMPOSSIBLE, YOU HAVE REACHED REALMS UNDREAMED OF BY EVEN THE LESSER GODS, YOUR WILLPOWER IS 1500, You have reached the highest possible level of will for all beings in the entire multiverse, you have reached the hard cap, for obtaining a will of metaphysical hardness like that of a Condensed Multiverse Ingot, Your willpower substats are increased equal to 60% of your willpower stat, even if you were trapped for all of Multiversal eternity till the end of all things within the absolute center of the Multiversal Originator Conceptual Construct of Pain and Suffering you would be able to bear it, for you will is infinite, and nothing, not man, beast, monster, demon, eldritch, abyssal, or God no matter how depraved and horrible could ever even hope to break you, YOU ARE PINNACLE, YOU ARE WILL. (You have obtained the title of Champion Of The Unbreakable Will for reaching willpowers hardcap)

The pure ecstasy of unlimited potential of strength within, the fact that i knew that pain and suffering would never hold sway over me or my actions over again, NOW THAT was incredible, not to mention that this current overwhelming feeling of strength probably meant that the changes within me were releasing amounts of dopamine into my brain comparable to snorting cocaine, with a similar feeling of invincibility.

UNBELIEVABLE, UNTHINKABLE, IMPOSSIBLE, YOU HAVE REACHED REALMS UNDREAMED OF BY EVEN THE LESSER GODS, and even greater gods rarley reach this level of self propulsion without great personal sacrifice, YOUR MOTIVATION IS 1500, To call you determined is an insult to your motivation, akin to calling a dwarf a beardless flower picking pansy that survives by pure luck, You have the kind of drive required to change the multiverse on a fundamental level, Your Purpose is Immutable and Eternal, and has been written into the multiversal memory banks of reality, so that if anyone ever does the impossible and sways you from your path or changes your soul to pursue a different purpose, this new directive will be overwritten by your Eternal Purpose, Woe be to all who stand in your way, for even if they defeat you once, you come back in every life you experience to face them again for the true path to victory and your goal is always known to you. Your drive to complete your goals can bring people to to tears and change their entire lives to follow you example, Charisma and the substats Persuasiveness, Charm, and Leadership are increased by 50, When in pursuit of your Eternal Purpose you gain a bonus of 300 to willpower and it's substats, You also gain a bonus of 100 to constitution and it's substats plus a bonus of 50 to when in pursuit of your goals, If you are ever lost on how to move forward on your Eternal Purpose you will be able to get a feeling of what to do next to further your goals (You have been awarded the title Eternal Champion Of Good for obtaining your eternal purpose and reaching the hardcap of motivation)

I didn't even know how to describe the impossible amount of want i had for JUSTICE at this moment, it was fading to background noise quickly but right now it was still screaming aggressively like a angry drill sergeant to just go do some kind of good deed, ANY kind of good deed, i wanted to pet all the puppies, bake all the cupcakes, and kick all the dictators and tyrants in their evil shriveled ball sacks, and then i would feed their impoverished citizens all the cupcakes i had made, and of course those cupcake sales would revitalize the economy so people could start adopting all those stray dogs.

You have reached the Hardcap for not just one but two different stats, a feat not often replicated within even the world of Eo Aeternis, Which is beyond impressive considering that this world is one of the most inundated with the Original Powers and one of the epicenter for powerful beings in the Multiverse, This has been noticed by higher powers and they will be moving to find you, either to ally with you because of your possible future power, or to destroy you before you become a threat, be careful they do not do so too soon.

Ya know what? I didn't even care, I was too hyped up to care, I wasn't just riding the hype train right now, I WAS THE HYPE. But I guess having willpower and motivation beyond the gods themselves will have that effect on a person, so while I would probably have literal gods of evil searching for me now to crush me like a roach.... I say fucking BRING IT BITCH, I would bet one of my testicles that by the time they managed to find me, considering the interference of my patron god Valencia keeping them from finding me, I would already enough of a virtue bearing, justice serving, divine mandate bringing paladin by then that they wouldn't have enough cultists, knaves, minions, and blackguard in the whole world to bring me down, so just let them try and fucking stop me. I'll take on every last one of the evil pricks, non lethally of course, even despite the changes in my mind and soul I still wasn't comfortable with making other humanoids take a dirt nap. In any case I was wasting time as I had more traits to activate and more notifications were stacking in the right hand corner of my vision, from what i guessed was willpowers other substats increasing, I was starting to come down from the high of what I thought was the power of gaining so many points of willpower and motivation being increased all at once. The feeling of burning motivation was more permanent i think though, but instead of it's earlier raging JUSTICE inferno, it was more a controlled fireplace kind of burning now. Which was probably a good thing as I imagine it would be rather hard to get sleep or make any friends in this world if my mind was thinking about punching bad guys in the face 24/7 and absolutely nothing else, I mentally dragged another notification from the right hand corner of my vision and watched it expand into my vision.

Your Spirit has been successfully primed to to accept massive changes from a trait without tearing itself apart!, would you like activate the trait The Unconquerable Soul?

                                                                                                                                      YES               NO

You gained a new trait! Congratulations! You are now a proud owner of the trait, The Unconquerable Soul, May you once again find such good fortune.

Where accepting The Determinator trait was a rush of feeling of ecstatic euphoria and being an unstoppable force like a raging meteor crashing towards the earth, this trait gave me the sense of firmness and being and unmovable wall, like if the school yard bullies that had pushed me around when i was young, come back again to torment the current me, but in the body I had when I was younger, then all they would manage to do would be breaking their hands by punching me. It seemed that i didn't need to choose between being a unmovable wall or a unstoppable force, I WAS BOTH, Eternally moving forward and now unbreakably firm in my sense of self.

Your Body has been successfully primed to to accept massive changes from a trait without tearing itself apart! would you like activate the trait Lightning Bruiser?

                                                                                                                          YES                NO

You gained a new trait! Congratulations! You are now a proud owner of the trait, Lighting Bruiser, May you once again find such good fortune.

I felt my muscles twitch and spasm uncontrollably and i was filled to the brim with uncontrolled energy, like I chugged 5 red bulls in a minute, another thing i noticed is that while the feeling of energy was great and I felt like i could sprint a whole mile without stopping. The feeling of my muscles rapidly tearing themselves apart and then rebuilding themselves over and over again at extremely rapid speed was less than pleasant, I was rather glad i had chosen to accept the will power based trait before this, as I imagined this would be more absolutely horrific than slightly annoying if not for my newfound ability to simply ignore all pain. After my body slowly but surely stopped randomly spasming all at once, and I could actually move without jerking around like I was being shot by 11 tazers all at once. I decided to go for a quick run around the large cavern I was in, the visibility wasn't exactly fantastic, not even good really, but the torches lining the walls still did the job well enough. I looked towards what looked like a mine shaft that was long and straight enough to suit my purposes, I crouched down in a classic sprinters position at the start of hall and then in my head counted, 1.... 2... 3.... GO!, I then proceeded to Zoom down the hall at a approximate speed comparable to Usain Bolt's crack addicted cousin, Insane Bolt. Which is to say that i was going, at least by my old worlds standards, pretty fucking fast. In all seriousness though i had ran down what i believed to be a hallway of about 50 meters in about 3 seconds from what i counted, which I was certain broke world records back home. I didn't really have any way to test my reaction time right now and it wasn't important enough for me to stop accepting more traits to find a way to do so, therefore i pulled another trait into my vision and continued on.

your Mind and Spirit has been successfully primed to to accept massive changes from a trait without tearing itself apart!, would you like activate the trait Knight In Shining Armor?

                                                                                                                                               YES         NO

You gained a new trait! Congratulations! You are now a proud owner of the trait, Knight In Shining Armor, May you once again find such good fortune.

Congratulations! your charisma stat has reached 100! your a real charmer aren't you? You have a Silver Tongue And Gorgeous Face, you posses an amount of charm and physical attractiveness that inspires envy in the same gender and make those of the opposite gender gender attracted to you, maybe even some of those of the same gender.... in any case you will find it easier to boost your relationships with people and convince them of the righteousness of your viewpoints by a percentage of 15%, remember to not use it for evil!

Feeling my facial structure rearrange itself to be more attractive was kind of disconcerting, similar to having my body rapidly tear itself apart and rebuild itself to be faster and have better reflexes, but luckily i don't think i would have to deal with it constantly as i don't imagine it was often that stats double instantaneously. While the pain was at this point just an annoyance it was still a rather unpleasant feeling that brought tears to my eyes through my bodies natural response to physical stimuli. Nevertheless i had only two major traits to deal with and only one of them actually dealt with changing myself, unless one of the random things I got from letting the universe decide was a power of self trait, But hopefully i would be lucky and it would be a item or ally instead as I think I had already given myself plenty of personal power.

your Mind and Spirit has been successfully primed to to accept massive changes from a trait without tearing itself apart!, would you like activate the trait The Paladin?

                                                                                                                                     YES        NO

You gained a new trait! Congratulations! You are now a proud owner of the trait, The Paladin, May you once again find such good fortune.

For the last trait that, I found that when it said that itm would make my goodness radiatie off of me like a physical aura in the traits description, it meant it, I now had a subtle aura of golden light radiating off of me like a wave, I think it was also right about the evil learning to fear me part, I was feeling pretty badass right now, despite the fact that I was currently only wearing a filthy t-shirt and jeans. Anyways I had save the best for last, what happens when you take a soul weapon, that grows more powerful depending on the strength of the users soul and give it to a person whose soul is apparently Eons old and a descriptor word for it is unconquerable? Well I was about to find out.

You have bought a metaphysical certificate for a soul weapon 1x would you like to redeem your certificate now?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    YES       NO

You're damn right i did, the yes button was pressed and I trembled from palpable excitement as I felt the strange sensation of tugging in my navel and stomach, it flowed it's way from my stomach and up my body up to my eyes, I reminded of the quote "the eyes are the windows to the soul", I guess it was opening those windows to take some of that soul stuff out, it started to form a condensed ball of golden light hovering in front of me, like a miniature supernova in intensity, but strangely enough it was actually rather gentle on my eyes, it also gave off heat and while it was rather hot it was not scorchingly so, it was a gentle warmth, the oddest part was that this soulstuff, my soulstuff, gave a feeling off of it, the golden ball gave me a feeling i was very personally familiar with, a feeling of want for happiness for myself and those around me, and a feeling of dedication to certain beliefs, I also saw small mixtures of other colors swirling in the golden ball, mostly those of a bright fierce motivating red and forest green's that felt like calm purpose and steadfastness to me, There was however one color that was rather concerning to me, there were occasional blips of purest black it gave off a feeling of dissatisfaction, of pure self righteous rage and honestly felt rather pretentious i would say, It would seem that somewhere in there I had an inner edgelord. I was reminded of my advice to myself at not bottling up emotions, I guess I really should follow my own advice more often, I could probably also guess where those swirls of edgelord black stemmed from, I often found myself simply thinking, Why? Whenever people did things bad things, I mean wouldn't true friends and fantastic experiences with them make you more happy than any amount of monetary wealth, no matter how massive?, Wouldn't you rather befriend Old Woman McWrinkles and have her bake you a cake later than stealing the 20$ she had out of her purse for some cheap bottle of booze and cigarretes? plus the chance of jail time? And was money and even power really worth so many people hating you?, It just didn't make any SENSE to me. 

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Soul Weapon Interface Version 3.21

Congratulations Brave Warrior! you will soon be the proud owner of a all new soul weapon, but first you are required to insert certain parameters for the special abilities of your weapon, the Strength/Duration/AOE/Range of these abilities and the more general parameters of your weapon, as well as it's type will decided by the strength and structure of your soul, this will also determines its power scaling ability as you pass through the levels, though it's starting strength will be based on the strength of your soul and current character level which is currently a factor of 1, you are alloted 4 special abilities for your soul weapon, choose wisely warrior.

1. Increased Attack power when used to attack beings of evil alignment, the greater the evil the greater the damage increase.

2. Largely increased Accuracy when used to defend a ally or home/village/town/city

3. Increased Attack power when user is certifiably pissed off at their enemy

4. When special effects 1-3 are met all at once weapon gains massive damage and accuracy boost

FINALIZE?

I had already decided in advance what kind of weapon I wanted to have, so I was able to skip all the gut wrenching decision making that would affect the rest of my life for once, I had chosen a bunch of rather simple but powerful effects and while I would have to forgo any fancy status affects, i honestly was never that into status effects or damage over time in the VR games i played, even when i played my quite loved sorcerer characters I had never bothered with status effect or area control spells, I had just carpet bombed entire areas with overwhelming amounts of cataclysmic magical force in an attempt to kill everything dead, the only two utility spells I really had was a blink spell to keep me out melee range, and a high tier shield spell to help my squishy character tank damage. So i was sticking to my old formula of simple but effective and simply stacking damage to absurd levels to turn anyone that forces me to pull it out into a meaty paste, and the best part was that the stringent requirements for activation of its special properties meant it would only and i mean only, be used when it was truly needed. So if i was forced to pull this weapon out on someone, they probably deserved it. I pressed the finalize button and waited with excited anticipation, the ball of hyper bright swirling colors in my hand began stretching it self out wards into a hazy shape, it elongated into a large haft, seeming to partly solidify into a 5 foot long pole of solid light and colors, but it was not yet done. There was still a rather large mass of light in the center of the haft which began to make it's way up the length of the shaft, it started to form a rough rectangular shape on the end of the pole. Then the light seemed to suck something out of the air, some kind of glowing blue motes began to fade in and out of existence rushing towards and swirling around the mass of soulstuff like a vortex. As these blue motes of light become more numerous in number, and the mass of golden, red, green, and black light started to gain some kind of mass and actual weight instead of being a mostly weightless incorporeal ball of pure floating light. By this point in time the blue motes of light were less scattered flashes and more a veritable wave of massless blue light, the light around my weapon seemed to be pushing itself into a corporal mass at it's center as the light from the soulstuff faded away. As the light faded away and the waves of what i guessed was whatever constituted mana, chi, chakra, life force or whatever the bullshit substance that powered magic and allowed it to break the laws of physics in this reality, the tides of mana slowly flickered out. Until when all was said and done I was left with a pole of solid chrome colored metal in my hands that had 3 sigils on it, somehow these sigils gave me an image of some kind in my brain whenever i looked at them, one gave me an image of a massive 2 handed hammer, the second a one handed war hammer and kite shield, and the last a singular titanic slab of material known as the tower shield except with a large spike and on front. As I was perusing my new all in one swiss army knife of weapon, another notification annoyingly popped up right in front of my vision.

BY ALL THAT IS HOLY, YOU HAVE CREATED A NEW ARTIFACT, Whether by feat of skill, luck, or cleverness you have brought a new Artifact into the world of Eo Aeternis, Artifacts are items of monumental importance and power, there have been times when every kingdom in the world of Eo has fought wars lasting centuries over the right to possess a singular artifact, and even gods jealously guard and hoard these items, all items are capable are helping a adventurer along in their travels, but artifacts are objects that have turned adventurers that are simply noteworthy in LEGENDS, for being the sole creator and possessor of a Mythical quality artifact, you have gained the titles (Legendary Crafter) And (Artifact Wielder) take care that this item is not taken from your hands, because many will inevitably try to steal it from you.

Another massive childish grin run rampant across my face as I looked upon the tool that would help me crush my enemies and protect my friends, and lucky for me it seemed there was no better tool for the job. An idea wormed its way into my brain, could people inspect objects in this universe like the light novels? I concentrated as hard as I could on the weapon, which with my massive willpower meant it might as well have been just me and the metal pole in the entirety of the universe, and then, voila just like that notification.

Peacebringer - The Soul Of Justice Incarnate

(Durability - Utterly Indestructible) (Quality - Mythical) (Rarity - Artifact)

Force Quotient/Damage - 3.5x Normal Of A Weapon Of The Same Mass And Shape

(Mass - 60 LBS/27 KG) (Ego Alignment - Good (10) Chaotic (3))    (Weapon Level - 1)

Requirements for effective use of weapon

Requiremnts for effective use overidden by weapon trait "Soulweapon"

Strength - 35

Constitution - 30

Weapon Special Effects

1. Final Force Quotient increased by 15% for every (1) point of Evil on the alignment scale (Effect evolves at level 5)

2. Weapon Force, Momentum, And Inertia alter course towards opponents by 30% when in the act of fighting on the defensive with an ally or defending a place of living (Accuracy bonus increases at a rate of 1% per level)

3. When user is at a anger level of (4) or more against a opponent, Force Quotient is increased by 25% (Effect Evolves at level 5)

4. When effects 1-3 are activated simultaneously Force Quotient is increased by 50% and Weapon Force, Momentum, And Inertia alter course towards opponents by 50% (Effect Evolves at level 10)

Weapon Special Abilities

1. Transforming

2. Soul Weapon

3. Ward Against Evil

4. Ego

Weapon Ability Instructions

1A. Can Transform into three different variations by touching the sigils and speaking Judgment for a 2 Handed Hammer, Protect And Serve for 1 Handed Hammer and Round Shield, and Guardian for a Tower Shield

2A. Even if the owner does not meet standard wielding requirements for using their soul weapon, it will still function as if they had the minimum stats required to do so.

2B. Soul weapons will only accept their original creators as wielders and will rebel against anyone else attempting to wield them, this is especially strong for soul weapons with Ego's

2C. The owners of soul weapon will instinctually learn how to use their chosen weapon over time, even a complete novice can become a grandmaster wielder of their soul weapon over the course of many battles, This is a vastly faster process with Ego weapons to mentor their wielders.

2D. Soul weapons have the ability to teleport back to their owners by intent and thought alone, this method of transportation can not be blocked by anyone or means on Eo Aeternis or the Divine Realms themselves

3A. This weapon has powerful wards against evil on it, anyone with a evil alignment of (1) or greater will feel pain and fear from touching the weapon, which becomes greater the further into evil this being is aligned, evils beings within 5 feet of the weapon also feel general itchiness of the skin and nervous tension (This effect scales with level)

3B. Beings with an alignment of evil (3) or greater who attempt to wield this weapon will ignite in divine flames, these flames ignore resistances

4A. This weapon has an Ego/Mind of its own which may or may not get along with it's owner, more powerful items are more intelligent and have stronger Ego's, Ego's may also have moralities and goals not based on mortal thinking.

4B. This Ego is capable of simple telepathic messages with its owner, these messages will gain the ability to be more complex as the weapon grows in level and increases in intelligence.

4C. This Ego has a humanoid personality, is capable of emotions and is capable of setting short and long term goals.

You have gained the inspection skill level 1, congrats

I giggled manically to myself as observed my weapons stats, I had gotten everything i asked for out my weapon and more. Another thing i found rather interesting was the fact that while this world did seem to have gamelike mechanics in it, it was still mostly similar to my original reality, HP points were not an actual thing in this world and while you could level up and improve practically every part of your entire being to make yourself some kind of crazy transhuman killing machine, all the laws of physics beyond the magic and game mechanics layer seemed to work in exactly the same capacity so far. So while yes, one day I could possibly run faster than even the fastest cybernetically augmented person on Earth, yes I would probably be able to bench press 2000 LBS/907 KG at some point in the near future, and yes I was wielding a thing that reality itself dubbed utterly indestructible. But gravity was still gravity, the damage output of a weapon still relied on the total force exerted by the weapon and not on some arbitrary and vague damage number, And as long as magic didn't get involved thermodynamics and inertia still seemed to work just fine.

I ran my hand over the three smoothly carved sigils on the chrome colored metal pole, the sigils themselves were very artistically carved depictions of the different weapons being wielded by various warriors in plate armor, I pressed my thumb against the one of a gigantic behemoth of a man holding a hammer with a similar pole length to mine upside down with the enormous head of the hammer touching the ground. If the illustration was anything to go by then the block of metal on the end of this hammer would be bigger than my head, and easily able to crush it. I bellowed the word "Judgement" out into the air and watched in fascination as the same soulstuff that had turned into this long metal pole earlier, poured out of the end of the haft, solidifying into a white marble looking substance in the shape of a egg that had a about 1 foot length and what i guessed was a width of about 7.5 inches at its widest point. The egg shaped mass of white marble also had some of the same chrome metal that was the hammer haft wrapped around it in three studded metal rings that came from the a metal underhang at the bottom of the head of the hammer. I mentally shook myself to stop staring in slack jawed amazement at how cool this was and started to attempt to figure out the weight and heft of the my new hammer. I started to swing it around experimentally getting a feel for it's weight and momentum, despite being heavier than even the mightiest sledgehammer back home, it handled more like i was carrying a big stick. It still wasn't light exactly, but I wasn't going to have it fly out of my hands or throw my back out when swinging it. As i was swinging the weapon, I was suddenly getting feelings of wrongness when i swung the weapon wrong and images in my head of how to correct them, and I was reminded of the Ego trait of my weapon.

I realized that it was trying to teach me how to use itself, I was immensely curious about the extent of its current ability to communicate as I had not talked to anyone but a semi-british sounding celestial postman in about a week. I tried to project asking the thing it's name towards my hammer, because while it was technically an object, it was also alive, sentient and according to my inspection on it, capable of emotions. The instructions on weapon swinging were interrupted by the singular image on the word MELVIN being shunted into my mind in big blocky letters, I asked the thing if that was really a name fit for a legendary artifact of the highest quality, It responded with the letters JOKE, I laughed to myself at the ridiculousness of the situation and my current situation in general. Here I was talking to a sentient hammer in a cave in Goddess who knows where, right after my soul had been shanghaied from my reality and roped into trying to save the world for a desperate goddess of justice. I eventually calmed down after 1 minute uncontrollable laughter.... or 2, I think it was time for me to look through the rest of my less important status updates, the ones I got from having the Worldsoul, whatever the hell a worldsoul was decide some karma boons for me in exchange for a limited time only super duper 50% off all purchases of random shit. it seemed that those status notifications piled up quickly, and they certainly weren't going to get rid of themselves.

                                                 TIME SKIP

I had gone over every last of the of the 21 extra capstone traits that I had gotten from having willpower at the hardcap, I had also realized that having 60% of my willpower added to my substats instead of the regular 10% as my hard cap willpower trait, meant that something had gone amazingly right somewhere along the line. As I felt that having 7 different softcap stone abilities was much more powerful than one hardcap ability, I also realized that the traits I got seemed to be rather personalized, many of them I could tie to a different belief, action I had taken, trait of myself, habit, or emotion that I commonly felt. They were all based off of a part of me that had been exaggerated to a large degree, I had never really physically fought many people and my entire life, and even when bullies at school when i was younger physically attacked me, I for the most part held my head up high and laughed at them like it didn't hurt when they punched me, and it didn't hurt that bad because I told myself it didn't, funny how that works, and then eventually they would get scared of me for laughing at their attempts to hurt me and go away. Which connected to the trait Embrace The Pain that I got, it was just a small part of me that was already there that had been turned up to 11. I decided that I had been sitting around looking over status screen long enough, But sadly I didn't really have much idea on what to do next, I mean I could start on my path to my Eternal Purpose and I was more certain that I would get to it at some point than I that down was down and up was up, But i didn't believe that even with the ridiculous amount of traits and special abilities that I had that were basically akin to cheating, I still didn't think i was anywhere near ready to start a quest to change the entire multiverse. Yes I was brave, even foolishly so at this point, but dying right now would only hinder me, sure I would still have the same goal as before and keep on keeping on, but I would lose a massive amount of personal power from possibly losing all my stats and traits, not to mention that I would be failing to save the world of the very goddess who had gifted me all this power, and that was unacceptable.

Thusly I did the only thing that I really could right now, I picked up my hammer from off the ground, rested on my shoulder and began walking down one of the mine shafts I saw. I was lucky that the caves were at least dimly lit by the torch sconces lining the walls, on the downside though there was the possibility that whoever placed them there was hostile, but I wasn't going to get anywhere by pissing myself in a corner afraid of every shadow that came my way. So I walked and walked and walked and WALKED, for what felt like hours, the twists and turns of the mining shaft practically endless, turn after turn, constantly feeling like I was ending up in the same place as before, By this point I was extremely agiatated, as I had been wandering down endless coridors for hours of time, I began looking more obsessively for any signs of things that could lead to civilizations or other lifesforms of some kind, when finally after another half hour of fervently eyefucking every nook and cranny of the mineshafts that I was aimlessly wandering through, I found a clue, I stopped in place like a deer in headlights, or a redneck seeing their sister naked, whichever works. I spotted among the powdered remains of what seemed to be powderized rocks on the floor, the outline of a footprint from a very large and wide for it's length foot. Big but wide footprints?, Endless mining shaft?, I felt like my brain was trying to put a puzzle together but I was just missing one last piece, like I knew how to put it together but I had bought a shitty puzzle on Ebay and they gypped me with a puzzle box with only half the pieces. Whatever the case I followed the first sign of other lifeforms down the endless corridors of the mining shaft, as I followed the first set of footprints signs of activity became more and more numerous, the amount of mining tools and sets of footprints increased, as well as the amount of rock powder near the walls. Spruned on ahead by what would possibly my first contact with another reasonable sentient being in weeks, "ASSHOLE" my hammer shouted into my braincase, completely interupting my thinking and derailing my train of thought to a screaching halt. "Okay then i'll rephrase that, the first reasonable sentient being i've met in weeks that can speak more than one word at a time. There, happy now?"

"ALMOST"

I guess I had to get used to the fact that peacemaker was basically a sentient being in it's own right with thoughts and emotions, it just couldn't communicate the thoughts part very well right now. If I was interpreting the signals I was getting correctly He/She/It actually felt kind of... hurt by my comment?, "Look i'm sorry okay? I haven't seen another flesh and blood being besides the Celestial Postal Servicemen, or had anyone else speak more than couple sentences to me for an entire week, i'm lost, want some food besides rice and chicken, and i'm generally annoyed now that i'm done feeling like i'm invincible from power ups. *Sigh* But I guess no matter how many reasons I have none of them are really good enough to be rude to someone who's probably going to be with me for the rest of my life, so i'm sorry for insulting you, even if it was accidental, are you okay with me now?"

The thing seemed to be struggling to push a message through, like while before it was easy to send the singular words through now it was walking through a foot of tar on the ground, until with a final push and heave it popped through the haziness and I received a new message.

"THANK YOU"

"Well thank you for accepting my apology, *sigh* I would make a joke about you being up to two words now but this is too nice of a moment to ruin with even friendly jabs"

"SAYS YOU"

I froze in a place, slowly swiveled ny sight on Peacemaker and then laughed uproariously as i realized I had just gotten a comeback from a being that could say a maximum of 2 words a sentence, my mood steadily improved as I talked to it in whatever ways I could manage, as time went on it seemed to struggle less with 2 words but still could not count to 3, just like a certain person who had a similar first name to me. About an hour of constant walking and talking later I saw a clearing up that transitioned from mineshafts to a much larger and more open section of cave, from their I could hear the telltale signs of running water, a stream perhaps. I was invariably excited as I had not bathed in a week and smelled like armpit and ball sweat from hours of walking in the overly warm mine shafts, which I think explained why they didn't put down more or bigger torches to light the place better, as it was much better to have slightly poor visibility than it is to have heat stroke in the middle of your mining.

I steadily advanced towards the opening as I fantasized about the possibility of being partially clean again. I entered out the exit of the mineshaft into the larger cave complex and was baffled by the sheer size of it, the ceiling was somehow far enough up that I couldn't even see the top through the darkness that grew ever stronger as it got higher and higher up, and father away from the torches lining the ceiling and a trail with torch stands every few feet on the sides of it that I saw. I didn't think that a cave complex this large could be natural, and I felt that I might have found the last piece of the puzzle to what lives here, but I wasn't going to get my hopes up yet by thinking that I was right about my guess, that could only lead to disappointment if I was wrong. I walked along the lit trail towards the stream in the distance, idly kicking a rock along the way. I stopped dead in my tracks after walking about 200 feet along the trail, squinting my eyes at something in the distance, hoping that I was not just hallucinating from mineshaft fumes. There about 400 feet from me was a short yet solidly built fisherman that had his back to me idly whistling as he held a very strange looking contraption pointed stilly at the water, I made sure to consciously moderate my speed as not to startle the man. I would hate for the first mortal being I met in this world to hate me cause I caused him to jump and fall over into the water.

I calmly and surely walked toward to the man, unsure about how to start the conversation, but I suppose a "excuses me" would suffice. Once I was within about 45ft of the short but abnormally wide man, who at this point I was almost certain of the race of, and very excited about him being what I thought he was, I stepped towards him I simply intoned "Umm excuse me Sir?" at which point all hell broke loose.

"YE WILL NEVA GET ME ALIVE YE PUKE SKINNED, POINTY EARED, KOBOLD FUCKERS!!" the dwarven man said as he swiveled around towards me with what i realized what was a harpoon gun, and fired. the spear from said harpoon gun going supernaturally fast passed my head and embedding itself two feet deep into one of the stalagmites behind me, what was the worst part about this though was that the dwarf has altered the aiming of his weapon at the last second to avoided hitting me, if he hadn't meant to miss I might be dead, and the then things got worse, much worse.

What felt like an underground explosion rippled through the ground between me and the dwarf oddly seeming to because by the air outside of the stalagmite going through the hole made by the magically rock piercing harpoon and interacting with some kind of chemically unstable material vein of material inside of the stalagmite. that somehow ran all the way from behind me to the middle of the stream the dwarf was harpoon fishing in, as I watched the upcoming disaster, as the ground between me and the dwarf, cracked and split, bellowed and moaned from the underground explosions that traveled toward the stream in seconds. just as the dwarf was beginning to run away from what he apparently knew as well would be a horrible end if he was caught near. The ground under his left foot buckled beneath him as he ran crumbling and swallowing his left leg up to mid thigh before encasing his leg in the ground. Right before the stream exploded into tiny pieces I saw a large vague shadowy shape under the water swimming right above the location I saw the underground explosive ore vein making its way towards.

Then beyond all logic and circumstance the explosion KRACKOON under the water, directly below the large hazy shape spraying giant plumes of water and mist in the air. I watched in fascination and abject horror as the explosion launched a 7 foot probably 300 hundred pound carp which should by all means be dead launched through the air at high velocity, directly towards the dwarfs stuck, immobile form. A look of confusion had found its way across my face at this seemingly impossible lineup of circumstances that had happened to be able to cause this event. By this point I was pinching myself to make sure i wasn't dreaming and I hadn't slipped, fell and hit my head back in the mineshaft and I wasn't dreaming up this whole ridiculous situation, but alas I felt a small twinge of pain from the pinching, and there was in fact a giant monstrous and angry looking carp flying through the air towards a harpoon fishing dwarf that had it's leg stuck thigh deep in the ground and was looking at the approaching carp with wistful regret.

"OH NO NOT AGAIN!"

I felt my brain twitch and spasm in confused rage, and untamed curiosity at the dwarfs utterance at this point I was simply too dazed and confused by whatever the hell was going on to have much more reaction than watch the arc of the megalithic fish through the air as it sailed towards the dwarf. Finally the monster carp landed and somehow managed to do so directly on top of the now very sad looking dwarf, the fish apparently decided that it was very angry to be out of the water and out of it's home environment, it also decided at that moment that the dwarf was a excellent target for it's untamed wrath. I watched as dwarf and giant wish duke it out and a battle to the death, as the dwarf rapidly slapped his meaty hands against the fishes side, and the fish attempted to use it's superior weight and ironically mobility to crush the dwarf. All as the very depressed looking rambled and ranted and raved at his current fate.

"OH AYE ALWAYS KNEW IT WOUDA END THIS WAY, KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY BYA GIANT CARP, LIKE EVERY FISHERDWARF BEFORE ME"

"WAITA MINUTE! STOPA STANDING THERE JERKIN YERE POLE YA SOFT, DAISY PICKIN, MUFFIN EATER! ISA THAT HAMMER FOR FIGHTIN, OR JUST YERE ASSPLUG THAT YE USE TO PLEASURE YERSELF ON LONELY NIGHTS!?!? HELP ME YA DAFT CUNT!"

This was of course all screamed in a drunken scottish accent over the sounds of wet fish slapping and flopping against angry soggy dwarf, But despite the rather coarse and rude way the dwarf had asked me for help, I agreed that I should stop lollygagging, plus I would be upset too if I was stuck inside the ground with a 600 pounds of fish laying on me while on top of all that some bumfuck what's his face nobody wanders out of nowhere and causes me to waste my only weapon of self defense that I had that could reasonably use to resolve the problem of 600 pounds of angry carp angrily flailing against me. So i snapped out of my confusion induced daze and started sprinting hammer in hand to what would probably be the first of the many battles I would have in this land, hopefully the ones in the future had less carp though. I dashed forward with all the enhanced speed that i had, eating up the distance in less than a second, I lined up for a strike against the fishes head posing like a baseball player as i slid across the ground kicking up dust and I stop moving my feet in an attempt to get a solid swinging stance, and then with all my might unleashed the full brunt of my two handed hammers attack against the carp's skull. I grimaced as fish shrapnel splattered all over me, the cavern, and the dwarf.. especially the dwarf. This first victory in what i hope would be a long career of heroing was accompanied by a cheery pop up message.

You have killed Giant Dwarf Hating Explosion Resistant Carp, You gain 237 EXP

You have gained a level 2x

You relationship with Logrom Grumblespine has increased from Irritated (-100 to -250) to Begrudging Friendship Don't worry it's a dwarf thing(+1500 to +3000) For the act of saving his life

The fish sauce covered dwarf looked up at me, a look of general gruff annoyance in his eyes, but grudging respect and gratefulness accompanying it. "Well ar ye going to help get this damned pig of the sea offa me, or do ya just want to gaze upon me beatiful counteance just a bit longer?" I snapped to attention and stopped fantasizing about my first level ups and helped the dwarf push what was left of the fish off of him. I helped the dwarf to his feet, where then we then began the first step of the ritual of the male bonding processes that was as old as it was completely unnecessary, and began sizing each other up. He looked at me seemingly attempting to place me or categorize me in his head as a threat, benign, or a ally, before he simply snorted and said "So Whata is a human doing, runnin around in the last mountainhold of the long forgotten dwarves? Didnt yere kind abandon the dwarves a long time ago and yere spines with it? I'a thought there wasn't ah human left that wasn't a lilly livered pansie, shitting their wee little panties over contracting the "dwarven curse", Yet here you are saving me beautiful beard from death bya a overly dwarflovin carp, now why is that?"

"Well to be honest, some asshole teleported me into this mountain completely on a whim and i got dropped into a crossroads of a couple mineshafts a few hours back, Coming across you and killing Finley the Aerodynamic over there was a complete accident all things considered. Though not one that I wouldn't do again really." The dwarf seemed to stare a hole into my forehead trying to detect any sign of deceit on my part or ulterior motive, being that dwarves being blunt seems to be a universal thing, he then simply asked the question he was thinking.

So yere not another merchant hopin to swindle honest dwarf blacksmiths out of priceless dwarven armor and weapons with a bunch of fake adamant? Or a hired mercanary carrying a foladable portal that you'll puta down in the middle of tha Forge that will spew goblins, ogres, and little fuckin gremlins from it's black gaping asshole? AND DON'T LIE TA ME, DWARVES CAN SMELL LIES AS WELL AS A ELF LOVES TREES.

I had to restrain a chuckle at the last part when I realized he was being completely serious and that it was not a joke in the slightest. "Nope and nope sir, I was teleported here without my consent just as I said I was, I didn't even know where i was going to be shunted out to when I was teleported, I could've been teleported into a giant monsters colon for all I knew where I was going" The dwarf then quite liberally sniffed the air as I finished my sentence, stroking his beard and pondering on the smell of my words apparently."

"And now that yere here you still don't hava any intention to kill, maim, steal from, burn to smoke, eat, have sex with, horribly torture or do anthing else generally nasty and harmful to a member of the dwarven race?"

"None whatsoever sir dwarf, I am simply a very lost adventurer trying to find my way through a very confusing world, nothing more nothing less, dwarves from what know are a honorable, honest, and loyal people, and I have no desire to cause harm to people of that variety." he inhaled air through his nose as hard the dwarf could manage, sniffing the air for lies like a bloodhound. He looked towards me sizing me up and down, and then for one reason or another, he seemed to find me satisfactory as a pleased expression appeared on his face.

"Well yere words smell honest, and ya did save me from being Fishsticks next lover, hhmmmm..... alright then, Mah name is Logrom Grumblespine, FisherDwarf by trade, what did yere mam name you when she pumped you out?"

I finally released one of the many laughs i've been holding back since I met the dwarf, as the choking tension in the air release and I could finally relax. "My name is Gabriel Norris, I guess right now i'm a adventurer by trade, though right now i'm just looking for some civilization of some kind and no adventures right now. I don't want to impose but do you think you could lead me back to whatever town you live in? A warm bath and a hot meal would be fantastic right now." "Of course i'll lead ya back to The Dwarf Fortress, ya saved mah life and more importantly passed the truth test to see if you were going to harm any dwarves, a dwarf who doesn't pay his debts is no dwarf at all, just another elf wearing the skin of a dwarf, in some cases wearing the skin of a dwarf in the literal sense insteada the metaphorical one"

I was honestly kind of horrified internally by that comment but I could roll with the punches, even if that punch was that elves in this universe wore other sentient humanoids skin to disguise themelves as other races apparently. "Thank you Logrom, Oh before we head off I have one more thing to ask, Are dwarves actually able to smell the truth?"

"Nae of course not ya daft fool, I was justa yanking ye chain, though ever since that mercenary came into the Forgehall with that foldable portal saying that it connected to a supply of rare metals that he would be willing to trade us, and instead it released a bunch of gobbos, orges, and hundreds of little shit flinging gremlins, every dwarf in The Hold is now required to carry around a truth amulet wherever we go. Twas a good call i think, we still find one of those little fuckin gremlins every week or so, sometimes as just a corpses just lyin in a random safe, we haven't even a clue how they die or get in there in tha first place." I looked quizzically at the dwarf, morbidly curious as to if this story was actually true or he was just bullshitting me again.

"Nah! i'm completely serious one day you'll go to put some of your hard earned coin from an ale drinking competition in yere safe so you can drink more booze when times get rough, and then as you open your safe and the stench hits ya. POW! dead gremlin sittin right there in yere safe, when there was no gremlin corpse there yesterday, and now all yere life savings smell like rotting meat and gremlin asshole, iz terrible I tell ya."

"Wow that's uhhh.... odd i guess.... do you have any more interesting factoids about dwarven daily life? Ones unrelated to gremlin corpses of course"

We continued making conversation as we made our way down the trail, Logrom of course putting out most of the conversation material as dwarven life was fucking crazy, as I was about to find out personally better than any other non dwarf on the planet.

"Well I know most humans can't really tell the difference between a male and a female dwarf with their clothes on, as they we all have beards no matter the gender. But ye see it's all about the silkiness and thickness of the beard."