I was carrying a ridiculously small sword. It was one of Oz’s weapons. He called it his Gatito Blade. I think it was just his way to get back at me for punching him in the face a few days ago–the passive aggressive vamp-hole. We were about halfway to the pizzeria when it hit me. I growled and stopped in my tracks to glare at him.

“Why didn't you just put all this shit in your inventory?”

He just smiled and shrugged.

The bastard.

“Vampires suck…”

Oz snickered.

Teddy leaned over from where he walked beside me and took the little sword and put it in the box he carried.

We fell behind Oz, and let him lead the way back to the pizzeria. It felt really weird having him there–but it also felt right. Even though he wasn’t going to be in the pizzeria with us, he was going to be close. That meant a lot.

“Hey, Teddy…” I said, trying to whisper.

Teddy rolled his eyes. “The dude is a vampire. I'm pretty sure he could hear us even if we were a mile away.”

“Huh?” Oz said, cupping his ear with his hand, acting like the goofy-goon I knew and loved.

I stewed in my gnome juices for a moment before I finally asked, “Does he still smell like Smarties?”

I couldn’t tell. I don’t breathe anymore.

Teddy smiled and nodded his head. “Oh yeah.”

***

First we stowed Oz’s stuff in a house about four down from the pizzeria. It was a nice enough little house, no dead bodies, and most everything was unbroken inside. The water worked, including the hot water. At the end of the world, what else could one ask for?

When we finally made it to the pizzeria, everyone was inside already, and when Oz came through the front door his eyes sparkled with happiness. Ellie and Wood turned, having just pulled out a large pizza from the pizza ovens. Ellie gave a little laugh, and then she shook her head, clamping her eyes shut for a second. I knew that move. She was hiding that she was going to cry. And she was going to push those tears down, so they didn't see the light of day.

I told you, I know her. Of course, I didn't know her well enough to know why she chose to be with Oz and dumped me. And I certainly didn't know why she decided to do that at my graduation party. But that was the past, and this was the end of the world, so I needed to suck it up and… just get on with it.

“We brought somebody home for dinner,” I said. “I hope you made enough.”

Then a thought hit me. I turned around and looked at the vampire behind me. “I know you eat candy still, but do you eat pizza?”

For a second there he had a hard time ripping his eyes away from Ellie, but then his serious expression turned to one of a lopsided grin. It was good to see that he still had that lopsided grin. I was half afraid it had been improved upon, and would be perfectly symmetrical now, like his blemish-free skin, fiery locks, and the emerald eyes.

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He nodded at me. “Yes, I still eat pizza.”

I almost joked, Just don't eat the pizza maker! But considering this was his first day back around us, I didn’t want to send him running for the door by pushing the wrong button.

But, damn me to hell, I almost said it anyways.

The only thing that stopped me, truthfully, was Teddy suddenly stepping in front of me, and blocking my view of the vampire. Teddy did it on purpose. I guess he really could read my mind.

That was a good thing. Hopefully he would keep it up.

Teddy plucked a bag of chips out of his inventory, to go with the pizza.

I watched with morbid curiosity as Oz ate the pizza. I knew for a fact that there was real garlic in the pizza. Mars Pizzeria always crushed fresh garlic into their sauce.

So, either garlic and vampires was made up, or maybe Oz wasn't that kind of vampire.

Maybe he truly was a Twilight vampire.

I took a walk outside as my friends talked. Everyone was super happy that Oz was back. They said that it was stupid for him to be living even a couple houses away, but I think in their hearts of hearts they were a little glad they weren't going to be rooming with the vampire.

Just in case.

After all, all this had happened in the last two weeks. What did anyone know about what would happen if Oz was stuck inside with us for too long. And was he living off of just animals out there?

I walked outback, past Ellie's house, and down the street to a neighbor's house that I remembered had a rope swing tied to a tree in the side yard. I was happy to see that it was still there, and that it hadn't been destroyed… though, the same couldn't be said for the house. Like my house, half this house was gone. But, at least the half of the house that was still standing was the half of the house that was closest to the swing. So I could stand there, batting the tire swing forward and back with my hand, and pretend that the house I was standing next to wasn't in shambles. And that this wasn't the end of the world. And…

And I wasn't just batting at the swing because I wasn't big enough to actually get into it anymore.

I really fucking hate being a gnome.

“Do you want me to pop you up into that thing?” Teddy said.

I was about to grouse that he was worse than a stalker, but I was happy he was there.

“Smart ass,” I said.

***

Night fell, and I was pretty happy that Oz was closer now. As soon as the sun went down, he went off to his house down the street. He said he would probably hunt something or other, and then try to get some sleep. If he was a Twilight inspired vampire, then unfortunately he didn't sleep. Which I commiserated with him. Though, I wondered… now that I’d dreamed, and had been asleep, would I continue to sleep at night? Would I keep dreaming?

Ellie was scrubbing the pizza pans and dishes, and I dried them and stacked them neatly on the shelf. I had to stand on the shelf to be able to do that, but at least I’d climbed up there all by myself.

I was becoming a big gnome, now.

The pizzeria bathroom door swung open, and Wood stepped out. Teddy rushed toward the door, obviously needing to use it. Wood raised his eyebrows at his brother. “You may need to flush it again,” he said, and then walked past his brother.

Undeterred, Teddy rushed towards the bathroom door. But, as if there was a force field layered over the entrance to the bathroom, teddy seemed to rebound from the door, slapping his hand over his mouth. Actually, I think he turned a little green as well. He slammed the door shut and glared at his brother.

“Another flush?!?! This thing needs a freaking exorcism!”

Wood glanced over his shoulder at his brother, pulling a recently liberated pack of Rice Krispie Treats from a box on the counter. “You're always so dramatic.”

Teddy glared at his brother. “How the hell did you splash… that stuff that far up the bowl?”

Wood’s eyebrows traveled up his forehead. “Hey,” he said calmly, “I cleaned the bathroom yesterday, that means it's your turn little brother.”

Teddy looked close to blowing up. He also looked even greener than he had before.

I felt for him. I remembered how squeamish my stomach was back when I could smell, and puke... or had a stomach.

“I’ll do it,” I volunteered, and trudged over to the bathroom. I swung the door open, walked into the bathroom a couple paces. But then I saw the horror that awaited me. It really was terrifying how much poop was splashed up the bowl, and sloshed over the rim. All I could say was thank God I couldn’t smell it, and I didn't have a stomach to disgorge.

But still, “Wood, what the hell have you been eating?”

Everyone laughed, and Wood flicked us all off, and then took off out the door.

“Where are you going?” Ellie yelled after him.

“I have something to do,” he called back over his shoulder, not slowing his pace at all.

Ellie shook her head, and then turned back into the pizzeria. Teddy moved to the door and watched as his brother disappeared into the night. I stood by him until he seemed to give up on Wood returning. Teddy seemed so lost just then.