Chapter Five - Thesis
“So, just the one other minion, right?” Sam asked.
“Yes. Technically,” Emily said.
“And he’s got powers?”
Emily nodded. “Some strange sort of luck manipulation. It’s a bit complicated.”
“And he works for you?”
“Well, he owes me, a bit. And I think he might be a little afraid of me?”
Teddy pipped up at that. “Boss is scary.”
“Right, right, cool,” Sam said. She flicked a thumb over her shoulder. “This way then.”
Emily glanced at her gaggle of sisters, then made sure they were all following behind her as she kept up with Sam. The girl had longer legs, and she didn’t seem to put much thought into her stride as she moved.
“So, I get that you need my car,” Sam said as she started to walk down the parking garage. “But you haven’t told me where you needed to go.”
Emily frowned. “You’re right, sorry. It’s just... I don’t know how to say this. I guess it’s only fair that I fill you in a little.”
“That’d be nice, but we can wait until I can take proper notes,” Sam said.
“Notes?” Emily repeated.
“For my thesis paper.”
Emily just shook her head. “Alright then. Well, we’ll be heading to a few places. None of them are too far from here. Is that alright?”
“I guess, yeah. Any interesting places?” Sam asked. She fished into her purse and pulled out a keychain.
“Not really, no,” Emily said. She glanced over to a little car as its lights flashed and its doors unlocked. It was a dull grey car that looked... like any other car on the road. Emily didn’t know cars well, but even she could tell that it was about the safest, least offensive car around. Maybe six or seven years old, with a tiny bump on one side of its rear bumper hastily covered by a college sticker.
“This is my ride,” Sam said. “Uh, we might have to shove aside a few things to make space. Are all the kids coming?”
Emily glanced in the car. There were three spaces in the back, two at the front. She didn’t need to count to know that they’d be two shy. “I guess the girls can squeeze into the back.”
“Two of me could stay here,” Trinity said. “I could go back home, and if you need me, I could take a bath with Mister Toaster.”
“I... would rather not have to resort to that,” Emily said. “Although keeping one of you home to watch over things isn’t a terrible idea. A bit late now.”
“What did she mean about the bath and the toaster?” Sam asked with obvious concern.
Emily thought about how to explain that for too long. It gave Trinity plenty of time to reply. “Me and Mister Toaster took a bath the other day, then there was a big tingle-snap and one of my bodies died,” Trinity said. At Sam’s confused look, she explained some more. “I get better when I die.”
“Trinity has an... interesting relationship with death,” Emily said. “It’s complicated, but because she’s one person with multiple bodies, one of her, ah, dying isn’t a problem for her. She just sort of reappears next to herself.”
“Wow,” Sam said. “Hey, Trinity, can I interview you later? I’ll give you like, chocolate or something.”
“Really?” Emily asked.
“Look, at first I was just aiming for some great grades and maybe a publication in a few of the more fun psych mags, but this is starting to smell like a Nobel.”
“There... isn’t a Nobel for psychology,” Emily said.
Sam shrugged. “Then whatever’s right under that.”
Emily decided that maybe Sam wasn’t entirely sane, not that she had missed all of the earlier hints. “Okay, everyone in the back. Trinity, you’re the smallest, so how about you sit in the middle and on the edges.”
“We’re probably supposed to use kid-seats,” Sam said.
“I don’t know what that is, but I refuse to sit in one,” Teddy said.
“It’s like a chair for babies so they don’t hurt themselves,” Athena said. “You’d definitely need one.”
“Girls,” Emily said. She opened the backdoor and gestured into the car with her head. The sisters piled in, then she shut the door and waited for Sam to clear some space on the passenger seat before sitting herself. The car smelled like energy drinks, coffee, and pine-freshener. Emily sat with her bag on her lap, so it wasn’t hard to reach in and find her notebook. “Do you have a GPS?” Emily asked.
“I do, yeah,” Sam said. “But I’m from here, I know my way around the city.”
“Oh, that’s useful,” Emily said. “I’m, uh, from nearby. Anyway, this is the first address.” She tilted her notebook towards Sam and tapped the address in question.
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Sam scanned the address, then blinked. “Azzip’s pizza place?”
“You know where it is?” Emily asked.
Sam nodded with a chuckle. “Of course, I’ve ordered from there my whole life. They have this special Upside-down pizza, it’s great. You’ve got to try it.”
“Uh, I’ll take your word for it.”
“We’re... not going to rob them, right?” Sam asked.
Emily shook her head. “No, we’re not doing anything like that. The place was paying protection money to another villain. He was called Cement.”
“The one that was arrested?” Sam asked. She put the cart in reverse and soon they were navigating their way out of the parking garage.
“That’s him, yeah,” Emily said. “He fought some heroes but, I don’t think they were proper heroes. There’s a... I don’t know how much I should say.”
“Oh, conspiracies,” Sam chortled.
Emily shook her head. “It’s not like that. It’s... another thing I’ll have to talk to you about later, I guess. When we have more time.”
“Alright, alright,” Sam said. She drummed her fingers on the wheel as they arrived at a red light. “So, you haven’t told me why we’re going to Azzip’s. We’re taking them over? Doing some racketeering? Getting some protection money?”
“No, the opposite. We’re, uh, freeing them,” Emily said. She still had a lot of doubts about... everything. Things could go very wrong, but at the same time, she wasn’t seeing many other options.
That, and there was a sort of pressure to keep moving. It was a weird balancing act. More time to think would be great, but it would maybe mean less time to act, and more opportunities outright missed.
They made it off the roads around the college and Sam started to navigate her way through the city the way only someone really familiar with the area would. That meant turning into gas station parking lots to exit out behind them onto quieter streets and cutting through small alleys as they beelined for the pizza place.
“We’re just visiting the one place?” Sam asked.
“No,” Emily said. “We have a dozen places to look into. But it’ll all depend on how long they each take.”
“So, your plan’s to walk in and be like ‘hey, you’re free now’ and then hope for the best?” Sam asked.
Emily felt her cheeks warming. “Uh. Well, maybe?”
“Wow,” Sam said. “You really haven’t figured this all out, have you?”
“I haven’t had time to figure most of it out,” Emily said. “It’s not like villainy comes with a manual.”
“I mean, it doesn’t, but there are literally hundreds of books and movies and shows that show you how it all works,” Sam said.
“I don’t think those are an accurate portrayal of things,” Emily said. “Besides, I, ah, don’t really care for superhero fiction. I always found it a bit silly.”
Sam just gave her a look. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a bit strange?”
Emily pressed herself into her seat. “I guess.”
“Hey, the Boss ain’t strange. She’s great,” Teddy said. “She’s been working hard to be a better villain too. She used to be all shy and stuff, now she’s just scary.”
Emily glanced back at Teddy. She wanted to deny the girl but... but Teddy was probably not entirely wrong. Some of that fear she felt when dealing with people had faded. Not entirely... or maybe not at all. In fact, it was definitely still there, but it was now buried under other, bigger fears.
None of the therapists she’d ever spoken to had suggested being too busy to be shy before.
“I’m working on it,” Emily said. “But, uh, do you have a better idea?”
“For getting protection money?” Sam asked. “Yeah, of course.” She pulled up along the side of the road, glanced around, then put the car in park. They were right behind the entrance to an alleyway, in front of a closed restaurant on one of the older streets of the city. “Tell you what, I’ll come with you, like a proper minion should, and we’ll work this out together.”
“Uh,” Emily said.
“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to bully people into giving me stuff,” Sam said. “But like, being a bully’s kind of frowned upon, you know? Now I get to let loose!”
“Wait, what?” Emily asked.
It was too late, Sam was already stepping out of the car, and her little sisters were rushing out of the back as well.
Emily groaned. What had she gotten herself into?
***