Wants Shit led him up to the top of the shed and through a small opening. On the other side was a crawlspace, probably small for humans, but for flies it was plenty spacious. There were several dozen flies, most of them wingless, like a horror show, engaged in various activities. Some were seated cross-legged with hands clasped out in front. Some were standing on hind legs, bending in the middle, then slowly straightening, then they'd repeat this movement.

"Always walk when you're up here," said Wants Shit. "It shows respect for the monks."

Dines on Shit complied, walking behind Wants Shit, but it felt strange to idle his wings like that. At the far end of the space was a raised area, like a stage. There, leaning against some kind of wicker chair, plain but with a high back, was a fly.

"Go ahead," said Wants Shit. "I have work to do. I'll catch up with you later."

Dines on Shit stepped onto the stage and approached the fly. He had no wings, and there was a long, gray beard obscuring his mandibles. The guru gave him a warm greeting. "I am Takes no Shit (wait, he does)," said the guru with a slow, deep voice. "You are welcome here."

Dines on Shit's lower lip trembled. His legs felt weak. Takes no Shit (wait, he does) broke the spell by motioning for him to come closer.

"I want to look on you," said the guru, "but I don't see so well anymore." The old fly put on a pair of glasses and gave Dines on Shit the once over.

"Wants Shit tells me you have lost your way," said the guru.

Dines on Shit tried to form a reply, but he couldn't. He was overcome with emotion. He cried while the guru patted his shoulder. He talked about losing Searches for Shit, and the drinking and the excess, and how he missed Aglow with Shit.

"You and your cousin got carried away," said the guru, "and it cost him his life." Dines on Shit nodded through tears. "I think he may have died so that you could live better. Would you like to find out how?"

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

The guru handed him a small, fly-sized book. It was bound in a supple, red material. The cover showed a bust of a bearded man in the center. Text, done in gold metallic, read Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius.

"Keep this," said the guru. "Read it at your leisure. Stay with us as long as you wish. We have plenty of everything you need. Go whenever the time is right, even if that is never."

Dines on Shit wandered away to a secluded corner and sat down with the book. He liked it at once. He found it hard to believe that humans were so thoughtful. The forward said the author belonged to a long extinct culture. That saddened him a little, but he kept reading. It would have been difficult for him to pick out a favorite or most useful passage from the book. There were so many:

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own -- not of the same blood and birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are unnatural."

Dines on Shit felt strongly that Aurelius wasn't including cats in that. Surely they could just die while exempted from the calm acceptance of others.

The guru explained that the basic philosophy traced back to the ancient Greeks, but the Romans did what they were known for -- adopt best practices of the people they came into contact with, and then expand and improve. This cultural trait was important to Rome's success. While most people rigidly clung to tradition (Celts fought in a disorganized mob when it was clearly inferior), the Romans were willing to change (learned naval warfare in response to Carthage's superiority on the high seas).

Wants Shit dropped by to see how he was doing. He asked about the book and how Dines on Shit found the guru.

"He is a great fly, is he not?" said Wants Shit.

Dines on Shit readily agreed.