Dines on Shit was so hungover he almost skipped the meeting. It was Searches for Shit who convinced him to go. They hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon, and if they missed the morning Shit Report, hunger could overwhelm them. It had been a long time since Dines on Shit had so little energy that he couldn't buzz his wings, and he didn't want to see that again. He followed his cousin through the living room on unsteady wings, keeping close to the ceiling. Searches for Shit made a quick circle, and Dines on Shit followed him around.

"They haven't cleaned up yet," said Searches for Shit. "The glass is still there."

Dines on Shit looked down. The humans were gone, but their half full glasses of beer remained. "I need to dry out," he said.

"Aw, c'mon," said Searches for Shit.

"Maybe after we get some food."

They buzzed out of the living room and down the hall, into the dining room, and to the top of a tall wooden cabinet. Two dozen flies were gathered in a group. Some licked their front legs, some were still. All faced their clan Elder, Flies to Shit. Dines on Shit and his cousin quietly landed near the back of the group.

"Nice of you to join us," said the Elder. He riffled the little tuft of gray beard beneath his mandibles. The two looked at each other, but didn't say anything. The Elder continued, "We were just discussing how two of our number were seen buzzing Badbreath, and we all know how dangerous that is."

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All facets turned to them. Dines on Shit tried to act natural. His stomach rumbled. He licked his front legs some, then put them to the sides of his aching head.

"Dines on Shit," said the Elder, "do we have your attention, or would you like to take a nap?"

He looked up. "Ah, yes, sir. I mean no, sir, no nap."

"Good," said the Elder. He looked around the group. "Now where were we?"

The meeting was dull, like all of them. Two new piles had been found late last night, so they should still be fresh. That set his stomach to rumbling again. The fly paper out in the shed had claimed two more lives. They observed a moment of silence for the fallen. Nevermore shall they buzz, and all that. Somebody complained about laying eggs in Bigsmelly's ears. Nothing gets the humans more angry than that, they said. If provoked, they might take stern action.

"They might go on another rampage with the swatter." Everyone grew quiet.

That last part was Aglow with Shit. She was always complaining. Dines on Shit leaned into Searches for Shit and whispered, "Drama queen."

Aglow with Shit rounded on him. "I heard that. You better watch it." Dines on Shit smiled. He couldn't help it. She was so cute when she was mad. "You think it's funny?" she demanded.

Searches for Shit whispered, "If you don't make a move on her, I will."

"That's enough," said the Elder. "Now get to those piles before they spoil." Wings everywhere started buzzing. The Elder raised his voice above the din, "And watch for fly paper. I'd like to get through one Shit-loving day without losing anybody."