I started to walk around the perimeter from where I had spawned, repeatedly tripping because I was wearing god damn heels. Seriously how do women walk in those so normally? But I guess it doesn't matter in the end because I found nothing. This place, in general, was nothing, no water, no natural fauna, just cracked earth, and dirt. Eventually, I just pointed in one direction and went with it. I tried to look for hills because water always goes downhill, and where there is water, there is life, but, alas, there was none of comparable height.
And so, I walked for days, maybe a week again. I have no idea the difference between day and night cycles here. Eventuality I found something it was a fire? I think?
The thing I saw was a fire, although it was a faint white flame that appeared to be into the ground itself. Having nothing else to do, I made a shovel and started digging.
It took about 20 minutes, but I finally hit something. Was defiantly steel, or perhaps iron? Well, whatever it was, it was some type of metal because the shovel I made did not completely go through. After fully unearthing what lay below the object, my view looked remarkably like something in my first life, a satellite. One of those with the bowl-like dish on the top appeared to be missing some parts, but I don't know exactly what. It also seemed to be old, coved with rust that almost completely compromised it entirely.
I began to pick up the satellite, to confirm whether it was the source of the fire. When I look at it directly, the white fire disappears, but I cover it up the fire ignites again. Additionally, when holding the dish in my hands, I felt cold, as if the satellite was absorbing the heat out of my body; furthermore, the satellite itself felt like it was disgusted with me like when you put your hand on someone's soldiers to get their attention, and they reply with "Ew." Soon after, the weird feeling changed, like everything I knew and everything I am had been exposed, bare naked in front of millions of prying eyes, and it was now warm? It felt as if someone was hugging me with an embrace that was packed full of pure love. It was so sincere it almost brought me to tears. Being that it was highly uncomfortable, I chucked the sad thing into the ground. I went to pick it up again to continue my little investigation but, then a noise filled my ears.
Then I heard someone speak directly into my ears," H-Hello? I-Is anyone there?" It was so close I could feel the warm, slimly breath fill and vibrate my ear cavities.
It was the voice of a child, probably not above the age of 8, still in the squeaker stage but, it was very robotic in nature, making the only possible origin only one object.
"I don't know, take a wild guess," I replied sarcastically.
I wasn't really sure if I wanted to converse with an unknown being, it could very well be dangerous, but at this point, what else do I have to do? It is pretty lonely out here alone; after all, all I could do was just practice magic and walk.
"T-Then could you take me up?" The satellite spoke like a nervous child speaking knowing what it was doing was wrong yet still doing it, but even then, ima needs a little clarification.
"Up?" I asked.
"I-I-My name is Voyager; I crashed here by accident and have been stuck ever since." Speaking very rushed, it ended up stuttering, which was pretty cute.
Voyager? If I assume that it is the same Voyager from Earth, would "up" mean space because it's a space probe?
"So, you want to go back into space?" I asked that for confirmation while also wondering why it didn't just straight up say the word 'space.'
It seemed stunned that I said the word 'space,' pausing for a moment before exclaiming. "Yes!"
"Then, I'm sorry, I do not think I can do that."
"Wha..."
Voyager's somewhat cheerful tone transformed into one of dread and despair as it started to cry. It was not weeping because of no hope; it was one I was familiar with, one of crying of grief over their failure. Even then, I have just begun to test magic, and I doubt that I could send something to space, although I will admit I have no idea what magic's limits are yet.
In fact, I haven't even been a little bit tired from using it so far; well, actually, that might be a good thing in this situation.
"Well, then, would you mind telling me why you want to go to space?" I tried to sound somewhat compassionate, although I would not say I'm good at it.
"I was meant to be humanity's hope, its future, its dream, and now look at me, broken, damaged, and miserable. I am truly a disgrace."
Well, that's a lot of feelings that were just confessed. Does he always throw out a confession to whomever he meets? If so, that's a terrible habit. I also believe that there were multiple Voyagers like Voyager 1, Voyager 2, and so on?
"Correct me if I'm wrong but, are there not other Voyagers that can fulfill your yearnings?"
"No. The rest of the Voyagers all died out 20,000 years ago. "Its voice was slightly more metallic this time around.
Wait, 20 thousand? The hell, that's about four times longer than all of humanity's collective recorded history! With that amount of time, humanity has most likely spread far off our little space rock.
"20,000, huh... But that is still no reason to think you have failed given that it has been 20,000 years humans most likely spread far across the galaxy, and they will find you eventually." I said optimistically.
And if that is true, then the fantasy life I imagined having will not come true, but hey, a future Si-Fi world. Man, I will have to explain many things if they ever pick me up, like me being an utterly unidentifiable human in the middle of nowhere.
Voyager then went silent for a moment, and then responded in by far the most mechanical tone yet. I was so grim and so unsettling it genuinely creeped me out.
"Humanity died out 50,000 years ago. I do not know what you are referring to."
Wait, what?
โฆ
D-died?
Like extinction?
I will get back to that.
I will have to get back to that later. After all, ignorance is bliss.
"So, you want me to lunch you back up into space so that you can continue your mission?" I decide to go back to the previous topic to forget the sentence that was just said.
Again, a cheerful tone filled the air as Voyager exclaimed, "Yes!"
"I'm sorry then; I don't think It is possible."
A noise that sounded like crying filled the air; it wasn't loud. Instead, it was more of a soft pitiful plead that soon turned into a chuckle.
I quite liked hearing and seeing people suffer, but having a child's voice be dubbed over it even made me uncomfortable.
"Why, why did I ask? I knew it would not be possible, but I still asked. Why? Why? Why?"
I felt bad saying that to Voyager; it was like denying a dying kid's last wish. But it wasn't like I could do an about it; I have no idea if magic has anywhere the power need to lunch an object into space, let alone assure its safety. Also, he should learn how not to throw all of his feelings on the table; people will abuse those you know?
The weeping sound grew more and more silent as time went on, till it became a wheeze and eventually coming to a stop.
At that moment, I spoke up. I felt like I couldn't just let someone gone insane with regret, not even try to help; plus, what would Rosetta and the others think if they knew I broke that oath of ours.
"But we can try." I sighed, resigning myself to my fate.
"???"
I could feel the confusion in the air.
"I'll help you; however, I cannot guarantee anything I do will work. Ok?" I just got to make that clear, so no expectations are set.
"That's fine. That's perfectly fine!" Voyager responded with a laugh, but I could not tell if it believed anything I said because of the metallic overtone.
It was weird, not knowing the intent of someone with just their voice. I was not good at reading people or anything, at least I don't think so but, I could always tell if someone's intent by their tone and life by their eyes, here there was none to go off of. Actually, this all felt off; this thing was acting like it has known me for my entire life, it felt too comfortable with me, worst of all, I felt like I also had known it for my whole life, and defining it help was the betrayal of a friend. No, that want it, it felt like it was worth more than me, that I was below it, like compared to it, I was worthless, trash, and I was in the wrong for not immediately helping it that I was inferior.
๐ ๐ก๐๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ .
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
Oops, there I got again, losing control of my emotions.
Suppressing the feeling of pure anger, I made a table and put Voyager on it. It was rusted to the point I questioned how it was still functional and appeared missing more than 40% of its original mass, or what looked like it.
Then I tried to brainstorm some ideas on what to do. If I am to send it into space, it would need to get out of the planet's atmosphere and not burn to a crisp. Speaking of that, I don't even know if this planet's atmosphere is the same as Earth's.
"Hey, Voyager," I asked Voyager because it was a space prob, meaning it probably had some sense of atmospheric sensors.
"What?" I responded cheerfully.
"Do you have the ability to tell things like atmospheric pressure and that type of stuff?" I asked in a deadpan voice to not get too comfortable.
"Yes, I can! I can tell you exactly everything that is within 30 meters of me!" again, responding overly cheerfully.
"Then why didn't you address me when I was that close to you?"
Voyager paused for a moment and then replied, "Well, you just felt so empty I couldn't tell if I was hallucinating you until you touched me."
Ow, that hurt...
"Well, then could you tell me if the atmosphere is the same here as on Earth?" I replied to get to the question at hand.
"Yes, it is very close."
Ok, if that is true, then I will need protective shielding for Voyager, so it doesn't go poof in the atmosphere.
As such, I began testing by making opaque red shells and seeing how they reacted to different temperatures. The first one I made broke at a red flame, while the second one burned at a reddish-yellow flame. It appeared as the more effort I put into making a flame, the hotter it got, and the more effort I put into the shells, the harder they got. I know that things burn up in Earth's atmosphere at about 1650 degrees Celsius (3000 degrees Fahrenheit), so a bright blue flame should do.
While continuing to test, I decided to ask Voyager some must-needed questions.
"So, how did all of humanity die?" of course, that was the very first question, as leaving it unanswered could lead me to quite the amount of stress, with my imagination taking over.
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"I don't know, just at one time I felt all of the hopeful intent of them on my shoulders disappear and then was replaced with a great burden in my heart." It replied not so cheerfully but more deadpan instead.
So it isn't that it knows they all dead, just that it feels like they are.
"So then, how do you know they are all dead for sure?"
"Because, not once for the hundreds of years that I have known them, that I've felt them, did their hope ever disappear. It never even faltered, for that matter.
Voyager's voice became entirely robotic throughout, saying that I could feel the pressure of a stare even though it had no eyes.
"Ok, then moving on, how are you able to talk? Where you made it like that?"
If he was made like that, this is an alternate reality because I'm sure my universe's Voyager did have that ability. Well then, even if that were the case, I would like to know what type of humanity was able to make a probe that has a voice and the capability to think.
Again, Voyager paused as if to think before responding.
"Well, I know for a fact that I wasn't made like this. I know I wasn't made to think and feel, but-"
Voyager then made a croaking noise that seemed to stem from the damage that it has taken.
"-but it seemed the seconded humanity faded from existence I was able to feel."
So, as soon as humans died out, the only remaining creation of theirs gained life? Huh, well, I guess that only leaves the question of how.
"Then what year did humanity die out?"
"2020, I believe, or around that decade."
"So, did they die out all of the same time or slowly?"
"They died over the course of about five years."
An extinction event, then. I dodged a bullet dying in 2019 then, but I feel bad that all my friends will die a few years after I died. Man, now I'm sad; I should just stop thinking of things like that. They probably aren't even the same people I knew with multi-universe theories and such, or at least, I hope.
Voyager then spoke to me of its own accord for the first time since the first conversation.
"If you don't mind, could I ask you a question?"
Intrigued, I agreed.
"How do you understand English? Better yet, what are you? You seem to know a lot about humans, and you kind of feel like them. But you are just so empty? You feel like a person, yet, at the same time, you do not at all."
Voyager's tone then changed yet again to a monotone voice as the probe moved turned towards me.
"Quite frankly, you feel like a parasite that relies on others to function."
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.
"Who the hell do you think you are? Antagonizing the person who is trying to help you, you know that I do not have to help you; I could just leave you to die out here alone. So, could you shut up an-"
"No," Voyager said as it interrupted my sentence with a fairly adult-sounding voice.
"I take back what I said; I'm sorry you don't feel like a parasite. You feel like a co-; you feel like someone who lets others dictate their life."
This little-
At this point, I was visibly angry at the thinking hunk of junk. So, I decided to throw out a threat by completing my previously cut-off sentence.
"If you don't shut up, I won't help you."
Voyager's childish character took over again, laughing, before replying.
"No, you won't because others told you to help others, and you wouldn't dare disobey those you call 'Your friends.
How the hell does this thing know about that promise I made as a kid?
"How the hell...?" I tried to speak, but I couldn't think of anything else to say once I started talking.
Again, giggling childishly, Voyager explained.
"Well, I feel all of what humanity has felt, so of course, I would know what aspects of you that are human, however few they are..."
The conversation eventually devolved, and quietness overtook our area as I continue to work on the shells.
Eventually, I made a shell that withstood the heat of the blue flame for 40 minutes before breaking.
That should be good enough. However, now that I have the shell ready, I have to find a way into the atmosphere. Throwing would probably not work.... actually, it might. Humans are very good at throwing things as it was one reason they were able to dominate their environment, and I have 1000 times the power of an average human... Although I doubt, I could throw something into space.
Wait, why am I thinking things that involve science and shit. I have magic; I just have to imagine telekinesis or something and chuck the scrap metal into space. But would that work too well? I already know that magic seems to get its power from how good I can imagine it, so I would have to imagine shooting Voyager into space like a rocket. Well, perhaps not like a rocket or more of a bullet as I am using shells that look like bullets, eh; I've seen the Matrix; it should be ok. Should be.
Then announce my plan, to the uncaring child.
"Hey, Listen up, I got an idea to send you to space."
"What is it?" the bored-sounding child replied.
Without saying anything, I put my hand on Voyager and put the same amount of effort as the working shell, coating it with said shell. I then tested one last time to see if it could withstand a blue flame.
It did, so I continued.
"Ok, so, I'm going to use telekinesis to send you past the upper atmosphere."
"Wait, you can use telekinesis! Show me! Show me!"
"Calm down, child."
I mean, telekinesis is cool and all, but I'm pretty sure there are many more things that are impressive than it.
I then hold out my hand and imagine Voyager floating to wherever in the direction that had my hand out at the time. Upon doing so, Voyager indeed moved to where my hand was. I also continued to keep my eye upon Voyager because I had the seeking suspicion that the second that I stopped, it would fall.
"Wow, wow! This is cool. How does it work? Can you tell me, can I do it?"
As I was currently focused on keeping this thing afloat while the childish mannerisms in Voyager seemed to overtake the robotic overtone completely. They sounded entirely like a kid, unnerving, really.
"Can't really explain, so are you ready to get your wish?" I have to speak in very rushed sentences to make sure I did not take my mind off of keeping him floating.
Voyager answered by just repeating, "Yes! Yes!"
"OK, then I'm going to count down from 3, brace yourself for impact."
I wasn't even sure that it even could, but hey, a warning is better than no warning.
"3"
I point my finger towards a point in the sky to the sky and focus on it.
"2"
In my head, I envision one of those movie scenes where they show a slow-mo bullet flying through the air and keep repeating in my head. I then imagined it pricing through the air leaving its distinct airflow trail for optimal air resistance or at least what I thought it was for.
"1"
I look at Voyager and then to the sky, and fabricated a line shooting in the sky within my mind. Then I imagined the chamber of a gun and a bullet being fired from it with the same trajectory as the line in the sky. Afterward, I replayed that action multiple times to make sure I knew it by heart. And at last, I was ready.
"FIRING!"
"YeeeeeeeeppppppppppppIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Voyager, who was next to me, just disappeared and was replaced with a sound.
It was a loud bang that shook the air, sending a shock wave down my body. It vibrated throughout my ears and shook my bones to their core. I am pretty sure at this point I had broken the sound barrier, and with breaking the sound barrier comes the impact of it added with the fact that the shell was only designed to take the heat of the atmosphere... Damn it! I'm an idiot.
While I was swimming in my own pit of self-pity, my thoughts caused me to take my attention off of Voyager, which caused him to wobble vigorously throughout the air. Seeing this allowed me to pinpoint all of my attention back into him however, the damage had already been done.
Many cracks were formed on the shell at this point, with several tiny parts of scrap falling out of them to the ground. At first, the only emotion I was feeling was relief that I hadn't entirely lost concentration and invalidated all of my hard work, but the exhaustion hit and hit it did.
The tidal wave of fatigue washed over my body, drowning it and making it lose all possible control. I was conscious; however, my body would not respond, continuing to stay still, groveling on my hands and knees. There were still some upsides, such as moving my head, although it was excruciating painful.
From what I could tell, Voyager's progress had been completely halted, just stunted mid-air with no sort of response happening. I tried to move my body but found myself unable, like there was some sort of mental wall that prevented me from doing so, not just the tiredness. I made multiple attempts to do something, anything, try to move, try to use magic, try to think of a plan of action, but I came up with nothing, here I was completely helpless, and it awful.
Honestly, this whole situation pissed me off, being helpless, down on my hands and knees, unable to look up, and most of all, primarily being subjugated under some kind of oppressing force. It all felt off, it all felt wrong, and I despised it.
Then a face appeared in front of me.
It was the face of a young boy, no older than about 15, looking at me with deep, pale blue eyes that stared into my core, but it too was just 'off'; it wasn't like he was staring at my soul or me, more like something in me, a part of me that wasn't there. He then poked me right in the forehead too, I wanted to slap him back by instinct, but my body was still unresponsive no matter how hard I tried, so I just glared angrily at him. He wore no clothes, but instead, his body was enveloped in a tiny white glow as he floated above me, his short, spikey, yellow hair along with his pale white glow glistening in the sun overhead. His body then began to eclipse the sun itself, making it almost impossible to see more than his figure except for his bright white, joyous smile. His smile seemed to glow brighter as he swam through the air with impeccable grace as he spoke.
"O' come on, just when I was so close to seeing those stars again!"
As soon as he said those words, I knew it was Voyager's same tone, same mannerism, same voice minus the metal overlay, and slightly more mature. The brat started to whine and started to move his arms in the air like a spoiled teenager.
I was expecting it to be another god or something, but all it was, was pain.
"You are not giving up, right? After all of that, to just let it collapse and fall? You can do it! Trust me!"
He continued to talk in such pretensions as if a kid not getting a toy he wants, although strangely enough, instead of making me want to punch the kid in the face, it came off as endearing? No matter what he said, it somehow conveyed overlaying message of "you could do it" over all the other junk he was saying. It was like he both truly believed every word he spoke, and he believed entirely in my ability to take him into space.
Even then, somehow, my mind kept saying to me that I had to do this or else I was a failure.
A failure?
Failures? Those are people who cannot accomplish anything; those are the people who will never accomplish anything. I could simply not be a failure; I could not just let my parents and everyone who was ever believed in me's hope go to waste. I will never, ever become one again for me, for them! I will not be a coward; I will not be stupid; I won't be a failureโthis time for sure. For me, for my old friends, I shall not let all of that time go to waste!
I should continue to act like they are here, watching me, because if I don't, thenโฆ
I stared into space for a bit before Voyager brought me back to reality by, once again poking me in the face.
"What are you doing? If you keep that sad up stare, then I am going to fall, right? I rather not experience that again! Ok!"
Voyager's words somehow carried some type of hope that helped me move my unresponsive body. Picking my hands off the ground, I took a step and faceplanted. Taking no notice of that, I try to pick myself up again and fell. Again, I tried to stand up; I'm not sure if the heels had anything to deal with it, but it felt significantly more challenging than it should have been, taking me seven tries.
When I finally got to my feet, I did not take it for granted, immediately summoning a spear to keep myself upright. Next, I proceeded to look at the complaining kid, who then pointed to a tiny dot in the sky. I believe that is his true form, but at this point, I could not focus my vision enough to tell, so I just placed all my faith in him.
Wait, how did he know that? Some type of spatial connection? Ah, fuck it, I'll think about it later.
I pulled my right hand off the spear to attempt to focus everything I had onto the dot in the sky. I could see it moving slowly, far slower than what it had been at moving previously, but still, it was moving, which was good enough for me. Then came the wall again; now I am sure that the wall is the mental barrier that is meant to stop me from hurting myself with magic described earlier. However, I have already been told that my body would shut down if that were to happen, so perhaps it isn't? I didn't really have time to think, so I forced straight through it, focusing more intently than I had ever in the past, surprisingly it was not as hard as before, plus it felt good, terrific to finally break through an obstacle that was in my path. Then came the pain, sheering pain shooting through the upper part of my arm, then blasting straight to my brain.
From my arm looked to be some sort of purple lighting attaching my arm to Voyager and ripping off my skin in the process. Each time I wanted to move Voyager a little, the lightning came and stole a piece of my flesh to push him a centimeter. It hurt like hell. The worst feeling I had experienced I could compare it to was having the same wound stabbed repeatedly. Even if so, now the pain should the least of my problems cause because of it, the telekinesis was losing up, making Voyager start to descend. It was a bad situation, but if I kept my focus on the cheers, rather than the pain, I could begin to make plodding progress.
The pain hurt; it truly felt absolutely unbearable, but at least it didn't increase by a noticeable margin, and our pace seemed to be keeping pace. Soon enough, moments that passed seemed to go on for hours even if I know that it was not the truth. Time seemed to spiral out of control as well; sometimes, it felt as if I was there for a second, then for a year.
I felt useless again.
Helpless.
While I was caught up in my trance, a certain yellow-haired brat was poking my face again.
"What now?" I asked, trying my hardest to keep my focus on both of his bodies.
I look over at him, wondering what other things he had to complain about if he couldn't tell I was currently in a ton of pain, but my vision was filled with a face I was not expecting. He was crying; his smiling face had not changed along with his eyes; it gave me the hebegebees being completely unnatural yet seeming so familiar. Then he spoke with the complete metallic overlay gone as if it was never there.
"You can stop now we have achieved the goal we had set for ourselves."
"Space?" I asked in some amount of disbelief.
"Yes, space." He replied.
He looked to the sky, not where he was but just straight in the air thinking afterward, he took my hand right, pulling it up with his body. Then the white cloak surrounding his body dissipated, revealing a look that was merely, just unsettling.
His skin was a smooth silky white yet had many spots with no skin, only muscle, and bone. Even his skin was not entirely necessarily smooth, there with patches of skin that were sewn together with more skin-like stitches keeping it together. Over the scars, blisters, and distorted wounds, he wore a partial see-through robe akin to a similar style as the Greeks. Additionally equipped to his neck was a yellow and orange patterned scarf that covered whatever was there.
Though all of that was very concerning, what drew my attention was something that, to me, was far more disturbing; it was his heart that was dead center in his chest crippled and disfigured beyond belief. It did not even have a heartbeat. It was just an ornament jutting out of his chest; it wasn't attached to anything and was beaten like an abused puppy.
Still, his eyes and smile did not change, acting as constant to the rest of his body.
"First, I must offer my thanks."
He bowed, but I barely noticed with every two words or so his heart pumping out blood from his body, staining his robe.
"I put you through a lot of dismay, and even ruined your beautiful arm for nothing more than a dream of mine."
Yay! I got complimented!
Wait, what do you mean by my arm?
When I looked at my arm, I immediately regretted it, because, for some reason, my brain didn't give me pain signals until I looked at it, the bitch. Anyways, it was in a terrible shape, not much better than Voyager, with most of my skin gone and some of the muscle underneath is destroyed as well. Honestly, this grievous wound that causes me a boatload somehow seemed peaceful? Like it wasn't some jagged wound that fills me with disgust, with the blood slowly dripping off of it onto the ground, it a made clam rhythmic 'drip' sound that gave a tranquil vibe. So it didn't give me any sense of urgency to heal it.
Still hurt tho.
"But for that, taking my request and fulfilling it, I can assure you that I will repay this debt. I-"
He stopped for a moment and continued it.
"No, all of humanity thanks you for aid; I will surely return this offer."
Once more, he smiled, but this time it felt...true? It felt like how a kid should truly smile, not thinking of the consequences of growing up, just enjoying life, an ignorant bliss that all wish they could return to. Gazing upon it, I felt happy, happy to see someone, something smile like that again; perhaps it felt like such a thing was just a childhood memory, that it could never come true within my adult life, from at least myself. Unfortunately, with that happiness came guilt, guilt that I could never recreate, the happiness that comes from obliviousness, and the joy of not feeling responsible for anything.
I wonder why all these feelings being exposed now. Was it that his word also made me feelโฆtrue? Feel like there was nothing to hide, that there was no point to hide anything as nothing could be hidden. He already saw it and has been seeing it for all of eternity.
Since he could already see everything, my only response was to smile, as there was no need for anything else. Well, I guess I was also smiling for that fact he made all those locked open emotions bubble up again. It was nice to feel them again, know that you were still ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ again.
While we continued to smile wholeheartedly at each other, he began to float up to where I presume his actual body is, smiling until he, at last, disappeared into the sun, and I could freely rest.
While a certain woman was sleeping after suffering various amounts of both pain and injury that an average person should not possibly be able to take and continue to think usually, Voyager sat in space beholding its infinite beauty. In truth, he lied about making up the offer as his main body would not remain functioning for much longer at all because of his now function state, perhaps a few more days, and then it was over for him. He would most likely never fulfill that dept, but he felt no sadness or guilt about it as he had completed his mission, he had decided on what to strive for, and at achieving it, he was happy. The thoughts of how he let all of his emotions on the table to guilt-trip her kind sense of self barely even plagued his mind while he thought of his goal. As his mission was never to "explore the stars," no, that just a personal goal; his real one was far simpler, that being that to ensure some part of the soul, humanity remained merely. It didn't matter if it was by force or by knowledge, just that it remained, and throughout all of the time he spent with that woman, he saw it, the essence of humanity itself.
The will to strive for what cannot be achieved, for greatness, the incomprehensible, and the unknown. It also helped that she had the power to find a way through all obstacles possible obstacles. When thinking back on it, he laughed, as she was so self-denying while being so excepting, so contradicting, so human. It was so enduring that he wanted to stop his little charade and come out truthfully, but till the end, he managed to persist, or did he really? Those last few moments he spent with her had no lies uttered, from both him and her.
However, even then, he was genuinely grateful for being able to witness the stars up close once again, even if he needs to use a person as a tool. It came naturally to him, using tools, lying, making false promises, then feeling guilty about them, as such cowardness and bravery were all and all just human. That reminded him, what indeed was that girl? She felt so nostalgic, so human, yet she wasn't; it usually didn't matter what; even if humans wanted to die, they always had some sort of hope buried deep within, but, with her, it felt like the hope she had was false. Like a lie told to convince herself that what she was doing was right, that she should do it because of some sort of moral compass to hide the absolute monstrosity underneath. At first, he didn't even consider her 'human' because she lacks the warmth, the hope but then realized he was being judgemental; at least she still had the shape of a human after all. He then sat there in space for a while just thinking till he remembered it, her face from when she was lost in thoughts while lifting up. Upon reflecting, he realized exactly what emotion he felt, what he felt he didn't know before because he had not personally felt it, but humanity sure did, and it was fear. The fear of running into a starved, crazed beast that had nothing to satiate its hunger, again he laughed, wondering how long it would take for her to accept that beast, that humanity.
Time then passed with the endless loid consuming him more and more, as when it gripped, he didn't resist, and when swallowed him, he accepted it. As the center point of his attention was to the stars, looking upon all of them, all the things left to explore, all the things he wouldn't get to explore as he felt a tinge of regret as his eyes found their place on a particular planet. One so pale yet so noticeable, it was his origin point, his birthplace, and as he reached for it with his tiny hands one last time, he realized how truly pitiful and alone he was as he smiled for the last time.