Kate rushes to desk drawer, ruffles through stuffs looking for her diary, the one where she records everything. In between the supplies she finds a red diary exactly how it used to be. She turns page and reads the last update that she had done, the day before today in the year 2013.

“Skyler and group are planning trip to LA this New Year, and just like every time, I am not allowed to go. We can’t afford trips like this!! I cannot wait to start earning! I will be doing all the things, I couldn’t do. ”

“Trip!!!! Is this the first in life experience I am going to get?” Kate thinks to herself. This excites her. Skyler and group were one of the popular guys in her high school and having a trip with them was a big deal for her. More importantly it was Skyler whom she had a huge crush on. Skyler was everything that a teenager would ever expect their dream boy to be like. He was tall, handsome, top of the class and a total flirt. Unlike his personality, he was totally faithful to his bitchy girlfriend Rachel. She was beautiful indeed but her character was total turn off.

So how does this works?? How will She be able to afford this first in life experience, she thinks to herself.

Getting out of her room, she looks for her grandma who had already passed away when she was 20. Her eyes waters upon seeing her grandma in the kitchen making her breakfast like she always used to. All the memories from the past rushes through her, she begins to cry. Her grandmother turns around with a smile in her face only to be frowned by seeing her little girl cry. They hug and share a moment of peace together.

Kate was raised by her grandparents after her parents separated when she was 10. Her mother sometimes visited her however had very little of interest in life of her own daughter. She and her husband married in high school after mistakenly having Kate. They tried to make it work for their child but it was always disagreements and fights. It was only her grandparents who loved her, and she knew how hard it was to raise her all by herself. Therefore, Kate never complained about money and else just went along with how and whatever they had.

After sharing a warm set of birthday breakfast she ponders over how exactly she could live the first in life experience now.

“Hmm. I have to use the money saved for the state level quiz that I needed to participate in.” all of a sudden she is reminded of the money given by her grandma. This was saved for special occasion back then however now she needed that money for going on this trip. Back then her grandma didn’t allowed her to be part of this thing as she always hated the new friends group she was beginning to be a part of. I shouldn’t even tell her this time.

“Yes! I will do it.”

She calls up Rachel to inform about how she is willing for the trip.

“Heyyyy!!”

“Hey Rachel, About that trip, when are you guys leaving??”

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“We will be leaving tonight, why do you ask?”

“Well, I think I can make it.”

“Oh! Really! Good for you!” Rachel sounds little off about her joining the trip.

“Yeah”

“Okay meet us at hmmm… wait let me ask the where are we guying meeting for us to leave. I’ll text you the details. Byee!!”

“Okay Bye!!”

That conversation was really awkward she thinks to herself. She shrugs off the gloomy mood that had just taken over her after conversation with Rachel. She tries to get excited about the first in life experience she is about to get from this trip.

A notification snaps her out of her day dream of the trip. Rachel had texted over the address. This was surprising as it was different from what they had discussed. “I thought they decided to leave from Skyler’s house.” She thinks to herself. She is again startled by the phone buzzing, who could be calling her. It was Ryan, her best friend.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY”

“Thank you.”

“So where’s the party at ??”

“I don’t know. Well I will be…” better not tell him or I don’t know how he would react.” Guess having a rain check. Feeling under weather today.”

“What happened, are you all right?”

“Yes just got cold and hey gotta prepare for that quiz thing. So I’ll be grounded for a while. ” She needed a executable plan to escape the house without worrying grandma about her whereabouts but also skip the practice camp these guys were having for preparation of the state level quiz she were to participate in.

Yes!! She found a way out.

“Hey. I think it’s better for me to join you all online, because you know you don’t wanna risk anyone else getting a flu or something. So better not visit me, through the holidays. I’ll be available online tho” she lies in order to keep her friends off of visiting her.

Now she was going to lie to her grandma about being with Ryan and others for state level quiz she was attending. Also informing her to not disturb since they all will be off of phone and immersed in the books and study materials.

The plan was perfectly executed she packed up all the essentials for the trip and said her goodbyes to her grandparents.

She had to walk all the way long to the place Rachel informed her about with all the luggage since she couldn’t ask her grandpa to drive for obvious reasons. It was quite far away from her place that why all the walking made her tired. Finally after a half an hour of walk, she reached the station but couldn’t see anyone out there. It started to get dark as she waited for new friends to arrive however even after almost an hour no one showed up. It was quite abandoned place thus not many people were around. She started to have uneasy feelings about the situation. Whole thing of allowing her to be part of the trip with the popular group started to feel like surreal for her almost in the pit of her stomach the feeling of disgust crept in as she saw none of the guys showed up even after hours.

She tried calling Rachel but it didn’t reach. She tried again and again but to her despair it couldn’t be reached. Her eyes filled with tears of guilt, humiliation and disgust. A women almost in the age of 30, in the body of 18 felt a humiliation that she had escaped in her past. The gut wrenching feeling of being left out by friends for whom she lied to her best friends, her grandmother, decided to use the money for something other than what it was supposed to be and left out to be miserable alone in the dark cold night. Droplets of tears escaped her eyes one after another like a drizzle soon turning in to an outright cry.

“This is what first in life experience I was missing out on.”

She woke up with tears rolling side by her eyes along with the sour feeling of experiencing a betrayal in her dreams like it had happened for real. The fact that she was back in her apartment of present time snapped her out of her thoughts. Damn did I just got back in the present? Was it a dream? Is this for real?

Shocked and confused she scratched her head trying to make sense of the circumstances.

Does every missed out opportunities have to be actually important? It was all left alone to be discovered in further days to come.