June 9th of the 68th year after Konoha's founding saw a group of people gathered to witness a historic moment; the Uchiha matriarch was giving birth to the next head of the Uchiha clan.

Of course to the soon-to-be father and elders waiting outside the birthing room it wasn't an I-am-experiencing-history-in-the-making moment, but more of an oh-my-god-please-make-it-stop kind of feeling.

Uchiha Fugaku, a stern and uncompromising man to all of Konoha, was a nervous wreck. He flinched every time he heard a scream and prayed with all his might that his dear wife wouldn't carry out the threats he could hear her screaming the room over.

An agonisingly long time later and a new cry rang through the warm summer night; the wail of new-born baby. Fugaku dashed into the birthing room on shaky legs, suddenly breathless with anticipation. He was greeted with the sight of his exhausted but glowing wife laying on a bed, and in her arms was the long-awaited Uchiha heir.

"A boy," Fugaku breathed, reaching out with shaking hands.

Mikoto smiled up at her husband and passed over her son to his father. He took the bundle and gazed down on his son for the first time, and was taken aback when he saw the baby staring straight back at him, looking decidedly unimpressed.

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Zuko was not amused.

He had died. Of that he was sure. So why was he waking up to find a gigantic man standing over him?

The Fire Lord had said his goodbyes to his family and mentally braced himself for the judgement he would face in the spirit world - he was also pretty sure it wasn't going to be favourable since he may have pissed off a spirit or two in his youth.

Perhaps this was some sort of obscure punishment?

Zuko took a look at his surroundings, finding himself in a wooden room with a lot of dark haired people gathered in it; all of whom had the distinct look of the people of Fire. They gave off the feel that some fire benders did, and concluded that he was still in the Fire Nation. While he normally not one to swear... what the hell? Had the royal family hired a doctor and prolonged his life?

As he was puzzling over what the odd red and white symbol painted on the walls could mean, he heard the man hovering over him speak:

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"A boy."

…

What? Of course he was male. The whole world knew who he was, and in his entire life no one had ever questioned his gender. His sanity – sure. But never his gender. Zuko squinted at the man to get a closer look. Was he … mentally retarded? Perhaps he had a condition?

It was at that moment the once infamous prince decided he'd done enough observing, and it was about time he established control of the situation.

"May I enquire as to what has happened?" Zuko asked in his 'Fire-Lord-voice', as dubbed by Aang. At least, that's what he meant to say - what came out was a load of jumbled noises that wouldn't even qualify as verbal diarrhoea.

The stern man smiled and lifted – lifted? – him so the elderly people could see better.

"His name will be Uchiha Itachi, and he will surely bring honour to our clan."

Honour again? ... Hold on a minute.

Call Zuko slow, but this was the moment when things finally clicked.

He had been reborn! But wait, didn't that only happen to the Avatar?

…

Apparently not. Zuko shrugged – or he would have if he could control his shoulders – and rolled with it. In his long life, he'd eventually learned not to take everything so seriously, or else he would have died decades earlier from the stress.

It was Katara's advice to 'just go with the flow', and after a decade of acting as the Gaang's voice of pessimism – he would argue realism – Zuko had finally given up and just went along with all the crazy situations he was pulled into. The fact that he inadvertently started a not-insignificant number of those incidents may have had something to do with it.

Zuko was brought out of his thoughts as he felt something brush against his face. The blanket wrapping his tiny body – his baby body! – was tickling his nose.

"Choo!"

Zuko let out a massive sneeze that made him use all the pitiful muscles he had. He felt his chi flare out of control, causing him to notice that he no longer had as much and it was behaving as wildly as it did in his youth. As a result, all the candles in the room flared a foot high and burned red before returning to normal.

Damn, he had lost all semblance of control over his bending abilities, and now he would be stuck meditating for ages until he could actually use them safely. The man – his new father he guessed – was staring at him like he was an alien. So were all the elders, now that he cared to pay attention to them.

"Did you see that?" one of them exclaimed, excitement in his voice.

"The fire! Fugaku, do you know what this means? Amaterasu has blessed him! Truly, he will one day be the greatest Uchiha to live!"

Fugaku stared down at him with awe in his eyes.

"Yes, you're right. Uchiha Itachi will lead our clan to greatness!"

Oh Agni. Please no. His new family were … part of a cult!?

He always knew that his karma would catch up to him one day, but this was taking it a bit too far - even for Zuko.

He knew he shouldn't have hidden Sokka's boomerang from him. Or 'accidently' burned Aang's staff that time when he became too annoying. Perhaps it was because he had set those fan-boys on Katara?

… In hindsight, Zuko probably should have anticipated something like this.

But damn, that didn't mean he was happy about it.