Natalia’s P. O. V

“So, here’s what I’ve gathered, tell me if I’m wrong: there’s the first and oldest set of twins, Brittany and Harry, the legitimate ones, who just turned eighteen on the ninth of June; then there’s Keily and I who will turn eighteen on September fifth and finally, there’s you, who’s still fifteen.”

We’d left the living room and had returned to the guest room Hailey was staying in after finding out we shared the same sperm donor.

I nodded in confirmation, “Every werewolf has a soul mate, or as we call it, mate. Mates are normally both werewolves but some werewolves get human mates. We’re able to tell who our mate is when one of them turns eighteen. We know who our mate is by their scent – it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever smelled. Mates are usually in the same age group, with a zero to two years gap and the guy being older but sometimes, there’s a larger age gap, like my case, and the girl is sometimes older by a year at most. Tiffany, the mother of the legitimate twins, is Clark’s mate.”

“And our moms are what? Side chicks?”

“Even though we get mates, it’s still possible to sleep with someone else. There are two options for that. The first one is that you do it while still connected to your mate. This brings your mate pain every time you even kiss anyone else. The second way is to reject your mate then sleep with the other person. This way, your mate only feels the pain once after the rejection and never again. Accepting rejection also hurts your mate. Rejecting and cheating on mates were once taboos but they happen more often these days.”

“So, Clark just decided to sleep with his mate, a werewolf, and a Seer and whatever your mom was and who knows who else? What’s he trying to do? Max out on XP points in the bedroom?”

I laughed at her analogy for all this, “You might have to ask him that. I wonder if we have any other siblings from him”

“He’s definitely an asshole to have put his mate through that kind of pain at all. Do werewolves have any other specific weaknesses or things that cause them pain? I know for vampires it’s sunlight, wood and one herb or another.”

I nodded, “Apart from mate inflicted pain, silver and an herb nicknamed Wolvesbane burns us. Wounds caused by them heal at a human rate.”

“Hmm… maybe I’ll use those on Clark if I’m ever forced to meet him cause I didn’t want to meet him before and I definitely don’t want to now. Anyway, enough about him, tell me more about mates.”

“Well, we weren’t taught this in class, but I believe the mate bond is a mostly physical connection. We’re taught that you’re supposed to love your mate, and I think that’s the reason we instantaneously fall in love with our mates once we know who they are, regardless of what they’ve done to us in the past if you knew them. We were made to love our mates from a young age.”

She cocked her head, curious about my reasoning, “So, why do you think it’s a physical thing?”

“You feel pain when your mate gets physical with someone else, not when they have feelings for someone else. To complete the mate bond, you need to mark your mate then sleep, otherwise known as mate, with them, both of which are physical acts. To claim someone else as your mate after a rejection, you need to mark and mate with them every three months. All these are physical things. Besides, we’re part wolf, they’re not famous for their emotions. Sure, you’re able to sense their pain from a distance a few months after completing the mate bond but everything is mostly physical.”

She placed a hand on her chin, stroking an imaginary beard, “That all makes sense, really. So, bottom line is, your mate is mainly the best person for you to sleep with?”

“Yeah, when you think about it like that. Well, maybe except the mates of Alphas, Betas, Gammas, Deltas and the royal werewolves. They’re also the best to lead beside you in those positions.”

“What about rejecting and accepting? You mentioned that earlier.”

“When you reject your mate, you’re severing your connection to them so you are still their mate but they’re not your mate. It hurts the other person because they feel you leaving the link. When you accept the rejection, you’re severing your connection to them so they are not your mate anymore and you’re not theirs but there is still lingering attraction and it can be reversed by accepting them back as your mate. Accepting a rejection doesn’t hurt the other person as much as rejecting them does because the rejecter has already severed their link to you so you accepting it is just taking your right to claim another mate since you can’t have two mates at once.”

“How do you reject your mate?”

“You say that you reject your mate and include you and your mate’s full name, pack and position. For example, let’s say Jacqueline Jonas is the Beta of the Greenstone pack and Kelvin Lance is a regular member of the same pack. If Jacqueline were to reject Kevin, she’d say, “I Jacqueline Jonas, Beta of the Greenstone pack, reject you, Kevin Lance, member of the Greenstone pack.” And for Kevin to accept the rejection, he’d say, “I, Kevin Lance, member of the Greenstone pack, accept your, Jacqueline Jonas, Beta of the Greenstone pack, rejection.” If your mate isn’t a werewolf then you just say their name.”

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She fell back onto the bed, “That’s a lot to remember.”

“Well, I’ve had my whole life to remember this stuff so I guess it’s a lot to memorise all in one go.”

“Yeah, but it’s also pretty interesting. My mom wouldn’t teach me about Seers and she wouldn’t help me learn about werewolves so I’ve pretty much lived as a human. I listened in on Keily’s Seer lessons and they seem interesting enough. She’s been getting more visions lately so I guess she’ll leave for her turn the Seer Cycle soon.”

“Do you know which specie she’ll be helping?”

She shook her head, “My mom always chased me out of hearing range before she spoke about it.” She rolled onto her stomach and looked at me, “Did your teachers ever talk about how the rejection felt?”

“The only teacher that had gone through a rejection said it felt like needles poking at your heart from every side. That’s not how mine felt though.” I laughed bitterly and Hailey put a hand on my shoulder.

“It hurt. Everywhere hurt – my veins, my head, my heart and especially where he’d marked me right before rejecting me.” I tapped my neck, on the mostly faded mark. Once he mated with Brittany again in two and a half months, it’d completely disappear. I couldn’t wait till then.

“He’d bitten me then tore his teeth from my skin. He didn’t even know my name and had to ask before rejecting me. He punched me when I hadn’t answered the first time he’d asked,” I touched my nose, “I accepted the rejection then he left me, a sobbing screaming mess, to go kiss my childhood best friend, Kylie. Hours later, he mated with our half-sister, Brittany. It burned. It burned so bad. It was more than just needles in my heart, it was fire and lava burning through me. My wolf, Candy, took some of my pain for a while so I could escape that hell hole but she couldn’t handle it for long. I couldn’t even stand before I passed out.”

Through my description of that night, Hailey simply listened, never taking away her comforting hand from my shoulder, never interrupting me – just listened. I was grateful for that as I realised that I’d needed to tell someone about it for a long time and I found that I couldn’t stop. I simply relived those horrible memories like a broken record, unable to stop.

“Remember when I said I wasn’t the most popular girl at school? That was sugar coating it. Everyone hated me, even the humans despite the fact that they didn’t know anything about me or werewolves in general. They saw my pack members pick on me and decided to do the same. I once stood up to one of them and a teacher was around so he reported it. It got back to Clark since the Lightwood family technically owns the school. When I got back to the pack house that day, he was waiting for me in the attic, where I stayed. He threw me around, beat me and kicked me. As he’d pressed his foot on my head so hard I was afraid my skull would crack, he told me I was worthless. He’d gotten someone to heat his favourite silver hunting knife and carved the words ‘worthless’ and ‘mutt’ into the soles of my feet while it was still red hot. Then, he’d had water treated with Wolvesbane and poured it on me. He said I was beneath even the humans and therefore should never talk back to them again or he’d cut my tongue from my throat.”

I raised my legs so the soles of my feet were visible to her. The scars had taken three days to heal enough for me to walk without wanting to scream. They didn’t hurt anymore but the words ‘worthless mutt’ were clearly visible.

“I still remember the intensity of the pain. How everywhere the water touched had stung and my feet had burned. I’d opened my mouth in a silent scream as he’d tormented me with pain that rivalled when Callum had mated with Brittany. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he would have stopped at beating and insulting me if only I’d screamed.”

I heard a sob and looked up to see Hailey crying. Tears ran freely down her face and she hugged me. She held me tightly, like she never wanted to let go, and I sat there, eyes wide with surprise.

“Mom? Is everything okay?” A sleepy almost six-year-old me had asked my mom as she’d gone back and forth our tiny attic room in the pack house.

“Everything’s alright, darling. Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” She’d come to the thin mattress where I’d been sleeping till a minute ago.

“It’s alright, mom. I’m a big girl.”

She’d smiled adoringly. How I missed that smile.

“Yes, you are. It’ll be your birthday in a few minutes.”

I’d smiled wide, the gap in my teeth visible, “I can’t wait! Do you think Kylie will remember?”

“Of course she will. Who could forget the birthday of such a special girl?” She’d tickled me.

I’d squealed, laughing with innocent glee, happy to be with mom.

“I just wish you could have a cake.” She’d sighed after my laughter had died down.

I’d simply grinned, “Who needs a cake? I have you.”

In reply to that, she’d hugged me tight, tears shining in her eyes, “Yes, my little Ember. You have me.” She’d choked out, on the verge of tears.

I hadn’t known the reason for her sudden sadness till I’d woken the next morning to find a piece of cake in a plate by the mattress.

What I hadn’t found was mom.

Nobody had hugged me since.

“You’re amazing! S-so amazing!” She sobbed. “Y-you went through aaall that and more a-and you can ssstill laugh a-and s-smile and be k-k-k-kind…” Her words were punctuated and drawn out with sobs that wracked her body. “Somebody loves you now. Even if it’s n-not much, I love you.”

As she cried, hugging me, I realised that her tears were for my sake. She was crying for me and that made me hug her back. Even though she hadn’t gone in depth about it, I knew she also understood what it felt like to be prejudiced against because of something you couldn’t control. Her mom probably hated her werewolf nature and preferred Keily.

She understood.

Till that point, in my mind, she’d just been another person that shared the sperm donor’s blood but now, she was my sister. My sister that loved me.

I hadn’t realised how much I’d craved for it, for someone to say they loved me, till she said it. I hadn’t heard those words addressed to me since my mom disappeared.

She calmed down a bit but didn’t let go, “It’s okay to cry. It’s alright to scream.” She murmured.

I did neither.