What does it mean to live? As I float in zero gravity in space I look around myself as I think on this topic, in fact as I live my life I find myself thinking about this a lot. On earth I had a relatively normal life I think. I had two parents in an unhappy marriage throughout my entire life, who raised three children who grew to be various shades of miserable and had to deal with it alone due to our own infighting. I graduated High School with a C average, did some college and dropped out. Only to wind up moving to my eldest sister's City to go ahead and get a government job with her help and I hated that job until the day I got into my current…. Predicament. I never really had a desire to better my life and honestly if there was a way to just die peacefully with no fear of hell I think I'd take it. All I know is that I don't want to trouble other people and think I'm cowardly and weak, mentally if not physically. I'm not sure if I'm incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky. Most people would kill to have a view of the cosmos like I'm witnessing outside the window of my ship and yet, here I am just wishing they got their chance instead of me, I could be home wasting away instead. I wonder what time it even is on earth? Are my sisters worried? Did they at least cherish my guitar and bass? I try to push these thoughts away, since if I make it home I should just be glad to be home. However if I do go home what's really there for me if even I'm not there for me? 

While trying to push these thoughts away unsuccessfully I check the autopilot to check how long my trip would be. “3 days travel time until destination is reached” the computer reads as if mockingly telling me ‘you're gonna have to live with yourself until then’. “Shit.” I groan out loud, deciding to go over my current objective again, or rather going over everything again.

I sigh, preparing myself more of a headache, while getting ready to write this down.

2 weeks earlier….

“Santana, As a Professional Parcel Courier you have to be able to accurately estimate how long you're going to take in your delivery and make it back in 8”. As I stand at my spot on the dock loading my parcels for the day I listen as my supervisor says this, not yelling as she's told me multiple times she doesn't ever do… “damn, Alicia you ain't gotta do ‘im like that.” Another courier chimes in, I can never tell if he's trying to stir up the pot or if he means well. “Mr. Jackson, go pack up and depart for your route!” Alicia turned back to me and continued “Now, Santana can you make it back in 8 hours or not so I can send you help?” “No.” I say closing up and pulling out my scanner to pull up my parcel logs. “Why not!? You don't even have 8 hours of work to do!” She said incredulously. She's never been a courier and it shows in her experience sometimes. I go into my parcel logs and pull up my total parcel count “I have over 350 parcels 189 of those are to be doorstep deliveries if doing twenty on average an hour is to be expected then at minimum I'll be done in 9 or ten hours depending on how many of the small ones don't fit in boxes.” she rolled her eyes hard at my words, a common sight for me at this point ‘careful, if they fall out there not much in your head to keep them from falling out’ I think to myself. “Be back in 8 Santana and if you're late you will be ‘DDI’d’ tomorrow.” “I'll do my best ma'am” I say, planning to call back at three o'clock to request overtime. “No, you will complete your assignment as estimated!” She said once again not yelling. I avoid answering her by already being in the truck and driving away as she says this.

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Being on the road is the best part of being a courier. Since it means that our here no one bugs me unless they decide to waste the gas to go find me. I somehow find this comforting. My day is pretty boring and it's hot out during the summer. Keeping water cold in these conditions is a nightmare and any room temperature water I bring may as well be brought to brew tea since it's practically boiling by the time I get to it. I make it to the government buildings and begin my deliveries, thankfully barely any communication is needed as most government buildings have their delivery points in a specific area in the building, in a parcel locker of some sort. At most I only need to drop off something at the X-ray Bay for them to scan it and accept it. No one ever bothers the couriers, not unless they have some sort of complaint, even then it's not over anything that's in our control so it's pretty easy to disengage. It's safe. “Excuse me, are you the courier for Eckerson street?” A voice calls out as I turn my truck off; on Eckerson street. “Yes….. I am” I say double checking my location. “Yes, I was waiting for a parcel that was running late. I was wondering when you'd get around to it?” she said looking perplexed. “I'm sorry ma'am but I'm finishing up Eckerson for the day. Perhaps your parcel is delayed for some reason?” I reply “why, do you know where it is?” She says quickly, this is gonna be an interrogation. “I don't know either answer to your questio-” “how could you not know? Are you not the regular courier?” now she's interrupting me, protocol dictates that I just drive away without saying anything but that's way too rude for me. “Ma'am I am the regular but I don't sort packages and have no control over the parcel flow for the day, the best I can advise is to get the barcode number and ask a retail worker at the office about it. Ok?” “Ok fine, thank you. Can I have your name?” she asked “Pelayez” I reply as I prepare to drive to the Pentagon and go on my way. 

‘This route makes no sense’ I think to myself as I drive towards the Pentagon, I've always hated driving in DC everyone there drives like they're trying to mimic a fighter jet with their movements. I can smell the scent of tobacco from the previous driver of this truck, as if the heat is steeping the air with the smell. I wonder what time it is, knowing that I set an alarm for 12:30 pm for my lunch so I push it out of my mind as I approach the building and start unloading the parcels and walking inside to deliver them, taking note of how ‘far behind’ I am ‘an hour behind so far’ chuckling behind as I imagine Alicia's face as she'll inevitably say ‘but how can that be!’ like some cartoonist anime character. As I rummage in my pocket for the key to open the delivery points my phone starts buzzing, in fact; everything starts buzzing. ‘it must be a headache’ I think grimacing to myself. I close my eyes for a moment, only for a moment. Then, the screams began. Looking around dropping everything I can't make anything out it all looked like a blur and my senses felt like they were fading hearing screams fading in and out, smelling…. Smoke? Pulverized stone? I'm not sure but the yo-yo feeling on my senses finally takes its toll and I turn to vomit. “Hey! What is schloggs name are you doing!” I didn't even know there was someone behind me “sorry” I manage to say. As I passed out I took a look at who I was speaking to but all I managed to see as I passed out was blue toad like skin on a… hairless dog? I looked around as I passed out. Not recognizing anything but before I could do or say anything. I was out like a light. It would be the best sleep I've gotten in years.