Mikomi pulled himself together and let out an agonizing sigh. One where you could feel the quiver of his voice through the breath that he exhaled. He sat himself up and the thoughts of Serah drew his gaze to the small stand by his bed. He suddenly remembered he had left something behind when he went off to college. Something that he couldn’t bear to take with him. Thoughts of Serah already plagued his mind like a constant nightmare and having this item with him would have made his life an even bigger mental hell. Yet, as Mikomi sat there on the edge of his bed, he knew full well that particular item was within arm’s reach.

The temptation to open the drawer and look at it became stronger and stronger. He didn’t want to see it again but at the same time, he couldn’t resist the urge to hold it in his hands. His hand trembled as he slowly reached out for the drawer. He gripped the handle and pulled it out a bit causing some of its contents to rattle around. He gazed into the drawer as his lip began to quiver. He slowly reached inside and pulled out the item that he both did and did not want to see again. As the item was lifted out of the drawer, he gripped it with both hands and held it in his lap.

It was Serah’s favorite book: her photo album.

When Serah had passed, the bank made their move and repossessed her house. They took all of her belongings and furniture and placed the house back on the market for sale. With no will or next of kin to be notified, it was the only option they had. Before the bank knew of what had happened to Serah, Mikomi had let himself in and had taken her photo album with him. There was no way he would let something that precious get repossessed.

With trembling hands, he opened the album and began to flip through it page by page.

This is the only physical part of Serah I have left… her cherished memories. She loved every single photograph in this book as it reminded her of a time she was once happy. She had never added a photo to this album because she had always felt that there was nothing in this world that could make her happy. And then…

Mikomi turned to the back of the album. The second-to-last photo there was of her and her parents at the Big E Fair. Serah was still very young in the photo indicating that this event happened a long time ago. The very last photo in the album was the one she took of herself and Mikomi.

.... the last thing that made her happy….

Mikomi harshly shut the album and, again, clenched his fists. The look of agony on his face said it all.

...couldn’t even protect that happiness.

Mikomi closed his eyes as tight as he could as he gripped the photo album and embraced it. He held it tightly against his chest as if letting it go would tear him apart. The world around him began to become muffled as he felt an anxiety attack surfacing. Suddenly, that was broken when he heard his mother call out to him from the kitchen.

“MIKOMI! DINNER!”

His mother’s voice was enough to bring him back to reality. That’s when he realized that he had been lost in thought for hours. He took one last look at the album and placed it back into his desk drawer. Once the drawer was closed, he let out a heavy sigh. He exited his room and joined his family at the dinner table. The aroma of his mother’s home cooking filled his nostrils and, momentarily, took the pain away. He looked down at what was being served and even though the smell had permeated throughout the house, he still hadn’t realized what had been cooked until he laid his eyes upon it.

Karoline had made a lovely glazed roast with garlic-roasted carrots, mounds of fluffy white mashed potatoes, peas, summer squash, and cheddar biscuits! It was a meal fit for a king but more importantly, it was a special meal to celebrate Mikomi’s return home for the holidays.

He faintly smiled as he took his portion. He grabbed his knife and fork and was ready to dig in but as he went to cut a piece of the roast, he noticed that his hand was still trembling. He stopped himself and even though he was in the comfort of his family, the anxiety attack that was quelled by his mother’s voice hadn’t completely dissipated. His anxiety began to resurface but he tried his best to keep his calm. He didn’t want to show weakness in front of his parents but the fear became stronger and stronger to the point where it was becoming noticeable.

“Mikomi? Is everything okay?” asked Karoline.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

Mikomi closed his eyes and knew he had to get out of there. He took a deep breath, which seemed to relax him a bit, and laid his silverware back down on the table.

“I’m sorry. I’m probably still a bit out of it from the trip. I didn’t get much sleep for the past couple of days because we had a huge exam right before they let us go on break. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go for a brief walk to try and shake it off. I’ll be back soon to eat my dinner.”

With that, Mikomi stood up from the table and headed into the living room. Even though he didn’t say what was bothering him, his parents gave each other a look as if to say they knew what was troubling their son. It is a parent’s intuition, after all.

Mikomi grabbed his winter jacket and headed out the front door. Even though he had arrived home from the opposite direction on purpose, he felt compelled to go see it. He began walking in the direction of Serah’s old house. He walked at a brisk pace which caused him to make it to her street in almost no time at all. He stopped on the corner and gazed down the road. What he saw filled him with both sorrow and shock; a realtor’s sign on the front lawn with another sign on top of it that read “SOLD” in bold, red letters.

Soon, someone else will be living in Serah’s house. The bank sure didn’t take long to find a new owner. I know it’s only natural but it just doesn’t feel right.

Mikomi stuck his hands in his pockets and let out another big sigh. He started walking once again.

I’ve made up my mind. If I’m ever going to come to peace with all of this. I have to go there.

Mikomi walked down to the end of the street. If he took a left, he would be heading in the direction of Ryan’s house. Instead, Mikomi turned right which led toward a more developed area of town. As Mikomi turned right, Ryan, who had been out for a walk himself, spotted him. Surprised to see Mikomi back in town, he was about to call out to him but something didn’t seem right. He thought for sure that Mikomi would turn and start walking in his direction but when he saw him going the other way, he became a bit suspicious. Being the kind of person that he was, he decided that he was going to follow Mikomi to see just where it was he was going.

Ryan made sure to keep a big distance between them to not draw any attention but with the frame of mind Mikomi was in, someone could have been stepping on his heels and he wouldn’t have noticed. Mikomi, as he typically was, was lost in thought on his way to his destination. After about ten minutes of walking, he arrived at the front gates of where he wanted to go: Two Rivers Cemetery.

Once Ryan had seen where he had stopped, it all began to make sense to him. He was almost glad that he didn’t call out to him but at the same time, he just couldn’t turn around and go home. Even though he ridiculed Serah in the beginning, she ended up becoming a friend of his in the end. If Mikomi was here to pay his respects to her during the holidays, then the least he could do is do the same.

Ryan followed Mikomi into the cemetery as he made his way through the rows of headstones. Mikomi finally found his way to Serah’s grave marker. He stood there for a few moments in silence with his hands in his pockets. He had made it all the way here but he couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted to say. He had prepared himself to face his failure but in the end, he couldn’t. He gritted his teeth and turned around to leave and that’s when he saw that Ryan was walking up behind him.

Mikomi was a bit surprised to see him here, of all places. He became a bit frightened as he had hoped that he could do this alone.

“R-Ryan!? What are you doing here?”

“I saw you walking. I was going to call out to you but I’ve seen that look on your face before. You were lost in thought and I knew no matter how much I yelled, you probably wouldn’t have heard me. Besides, I thought you were away at college. I should be asking you what you’re doing here back home.”

“Our holiday break began so I decided to come back and visit.”

“That’s all?”

“......yeah.”

Ryan took a step closer to Mikomi, blocking his path. He looked away from Ryan, which was a dead giveaway.

“You’re a terrible liar, Mikomi. You didn’t come home for Thanksgiving or your birthday. People don’t come home for Christmas just to spend them in a cemetery, either. You came back for her, didn’t you?”

Mikomi reached out and grabbed Ryan by the shirt in a fit of rage. Suddenly, flashbacks of him doing the same thing back in high school in the original timeline flashed before his eyes. He remembered that he punched Ryan in the face and gave him a bloody nose. It was a move that, ultimately, ended their friendship. While he had failed to save Serah in this timeline, one of the things Mikomi succeeded in changing was standing right in front of him. Ryan’s friendship with MIkomi had not ended in this timeline and that realization set in right before he was about to repeat history.

Looking at the fear and confusion in Ryan’s eyes, Mikomi withdrew his fist. He took a step back away from Ryan and quietly muttered an apology.

“...Sorry.”

Ryan tried his best to ignore what had just happened. He put on a cheerful face and cracked his usual smile.

“Don’t worry about it! You seem to be going through something tough. We’re friends, Mikomi. You know that if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m willing to listen.”

I know that Ryan means well, but he’s never been a deep person. He always takes things at face value and is very impressionable. I know it’s only been a couple of months since I had last seen him so I doubt that he’s grown up any since then. What good would opening up to him do?

Mikomi stuck his hands back into his coat pockets and began to walk past Ryan, completely ignoring his request.

“Perhaps some other time…” muttered Mikomi before he felt his progress being halted by a hefty tug on his right arm.

Mikomi turned around and looked at Ryan, who had a rather angry look on his face. Mikomi forcefully took his arm back, all while shooting a death glare in his direction. He turned around and continued on his way, but Ryan’s words stopped him in his tracks.

“So, you’re just going to walk away and that’s it!? Why? Do you think I can’t understand what’s going on here? Anyone could plainly see that you didn’t come back home for Serah. I asked you before why you had come back, but the fact that we’re here pretty much says it all. You came back for closure, didn’t you?”

Mikomi couldn’t move an inch because he knew that Ryan was right. He had a decision to make. He needed to decide whether to let this go and take up Ryan’s offer or to continue leaving him in the dark.