A taloned hand grabbed the back of Zoe’s jumpsuit and lifted her to her feet. Her legs seized up with pain and she immediately collapsed.

“Tut, tut, and much disgrace! It appears my star witness is injured!” The One-Eyed Crow said as it stepped between Zoe’s friends and lifted them one by one. It dusted off Bella with a wing. The crow's head stuck out of a long dark robe that ended above its scaly ankles. It wore a white powdered wig that ran in curls down its neck.

“Who amongst the court has dared to sully my witnesses? Hmm? Who? Don’t think I won’t file a complaint!”

The One-Eyed Crow pointed a feathered finger at the gallery. Zoe followed its digit and gazed at the assortment of demons packing the seats in the courthouse. They were all some grotesque combination of human and animal and alien biology. The smell alone was enough to make her stomach flip.

Anton and Bella lifted Zoe between them. They dislodged one of the fuzzy insects. It screeched and ran across the marble tiles. The One-Eyed Crow bent over and pecked in a swift motion. It clutched the insect with tweezer precision and swallowed it whole.

“Delicious. My witnesses are kind enough to bring snacks.”

The slug judge leaned forward, banging the gavel.

“Order, order! What snacks, defendant? I demand you tell the court!”

The One-Eyed Crow pecked an insect from Anton’s shoulder. The demon’s eyes rolled several shades of white as they spun into the back of its head.

“Bristle-Backed Bugs from the Well of Dry Sorrow.”

A murmur ran through the crowds. The slug judge bagged the gavel.

“Five-Toed Viper! Bring a specimen to me!”

An answering hiss came from the corner as a tall demon in the uniform of a bailiff stood and advanced toward them. It resembled a trim and well-formed soldier, with a large serpentine head sprouting from its neck. Sleek bronze scales gleamed in the light of the court’s gaudy crystal chandelier. A matching tail of bronze slipped out of the left pant leg. The bailiff limped forward, lunging and slithering in a deceptively quick gait.

Fuzzy bugs scattered at its approach.

Zoe felt a sense of dislocation as the bailiff chased the bugs. The demonic crowds in the gallery hooted and hollered and screeched and chittered and roared. Bets were placed, curses called, and scuffles broke out.

Bella leaned close enough to whisper.

“This is either a cartoon,” she said. “Or I’ve gone mad.”

Zoe nodded. To her, It felt like the Gambler’s first game — a sense of dislocation and advancing madness. Though, a cartoon was appropriate — as though she walked off the edge of a cliff and was yet to fall.

The One-Eyed Crow spread its wings around them like a drunken uncle and leaned in close.

“You are all in court, of course, no need for confusion,” it whispered conspiratorially. “Do not concern yourselves, the Court of the Lower Demon City is famous for its adherence to infernal code. Judge Eleven-Eared Slug is known to give defendants a good hearing.”

Zoe stared at the crow…

“Are you joking?”

“Alas, demons are incapable of humor.”

Zoe stared again… but its poker face was a crow and as such, impeccable.

“Last time we met you tried to kill us.”

“And you killed me in turn! Ah, the glory of battle, of ambush, of the hunt! I appreciate the snacks by the by,” it turned to Bella and Oriz. “And wonderful to see you two lovelies again, of course, I do so hope to kill you one day.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Bella responded with a smile.

“And you have a new friend!” It poked Skidmark who flinched. “She seems more prey than predator, is she perhaps another palatable portion?”

Bella slapped the One-Eyed Crow’s wing.

“No, she is just shy.”

Skidmark stared at everything with wide eyes. She clutched her hands together and started murmuring. Zoe imagined it was a prayer.

The bailiff finally caught one of the insects and stashed it into a cage of fingerbones hanging from his belt. It slithered up to the bench and presented the snack. The Eleven-Eared Slug salivated with anticipation.

“Let us…” the judge wiped its mouth with its black sleeve and adjusted its long powdered wig. “Let us sample the veracity of the defendant’s claims.”

It opened the cage and grabbed the screeching insect in a slimy mitt. The bug clawed and twisted as it dangled over the slug’s widening maw, but there was no escape, and when it was dropped, it vanished like a screaming stone into a vat of honey.

“You’re the defendant?” Bella asked the One-Eyed Crow.

“Unfortunately.”

“You’re dressed like a counselor…”

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The One-Eyed Crow scoffed.

“I am a demon, mam! I have some pride! Of course, I’m defending myself. Pray tell, l who could do it better?”

“My apologies for the insinuation.”

“Quite.”

Their conversation gave Zoe a headache. She pinched herself, but it didn’t work. For some reason this moment — more than any of the many near-death experiences so far — made her wish she would wake up on the plane with a terrible bloody mary in her hand.

She would even wish that she’d spilled the drink on her pants if it got her out of this. Hell, she’d even let the plane crash again.

“Delicious!” Judge Eleven-Eared Slug cried out. “I find the defendant’s claim to be quite true, and their snacks to be exquisite in rarity, delicacy, and intelligence!”

The prosecutor, who had sat sulking so far, stood and scratched long claws upon their table. Their black robe draped around their portly figure like a windblown tent. A long anteater snout extended from the face of a stunning woman. Her white wig sat piled up in a beehive that threatened to tumble apart at any second.

“I demand a recess!” it shouted.

“Denied!” the judge slammed their gavel. “If you wanted to bribe us with snacks you should have brought some.”

“These are not surprise witnesses! The One-Eyed Crow merely claimed them as such!”

“Then you should have claimed them first. Article seven of the Thirteen Laws of Chance Encounters states: first in, first served.”

“First in, first served!” chanted the gallery.

“Quite right, your honor,” said the One-Eyed Crow with a bow.”

“No brown nosing in my court,” said the Eleven-Eared Slug with a twinkle in its eye. “Bailiff distribute snacks to the jury that they might adequately understand the nature of the defendant’s case.”

The bailiff scurried with their cage in hand to collect the fleeing bugs. If ever an insect ran too close to the seated audience, odd-fingered hands, claws, hooves, and tentacles swooped toward them. The bugs screeched in terror, babbling to each other, communicating some sort of escape plan. Zoe was beginning to understand what the judge’s comment about ‘intelligence’ had meant.

While this buffoonery continued, the One-Eyed Crow led them to seats at his table. Five empty chairs waited for them.

“You expected us?” Zoe said.

“One must be ready for anything,” the One-Eyed Crow responded. “Your new friend seems unhappy,” it pointed once more at the mumbling Skidmark. “And I do not believe you have made an introduction, what a terrible host you are.”

Zoe blinked.

“Host?” she said as she gazed at the gigantic crow’s head. Then turned. “Oh, this is Skidmark. She’s… somewhat religious. I’m afraid this whole experience might be a little more resonant for one such as her.”

“Excellent wording. Tell me, how did you acquire these snacks?”

“They jumped on us.”

It waved a wing dismissively.

“Yes, yes, but did you truly go to the Well of Dry Sorrow?”

“Yes.”

“You reek of Angel. Forgive my curiosity, but how did you survive such an encounter? The swamp is renowned for its perilousness.”

“I killed the Angel.”

The One-Eyed Crow closed its eyes. After a long moment, it opened them and wiped away a tear with a feathered wing. With a flick, it cast the droplet to the marble floor.

“Let me drip out one for Sorrow… That must have been a wonderful hunt.”

“Unforgettable.”

“You will have to tell me all about it, but I see you are still recovering. A shame you are not primed for another hunt, I would truly love to see how you have improved since the last time.”

Zoe couldn’t help the grin that stretched her scarred lips. It still hurt to smile, but pride pounded through her chest.

“Think you’d fare any better?”

“You do not reek of unfair time. Yes, I think I would fare better if you could not undo your mistakes.”

“Who says I’ll make mistakes?”

Anton leaned over.

“Is he talking smack, boss?”

“Just friendly banter, Anton,” she said as she gently pushed his muscular shoulder. “We don’t mean nothing by it.”

“Do we not?” cawed the One-Eyed Crow.

Before Zoe could reply, the judge slammed his gavel down.

“Jury! What say you?”

The jurors finished licking their lips and fingers and tails. There was no trace of the fuzzy insects except a few misplaced bristles around certain ghoulish mouths.

A creature like a melted wax statue of a bat stood and coughed into a long-fingered fist.

“We the jury,” it said in a helium-pitched voice. “Find the defendant not guilty by point of deliciousness!”

“I concur!” the judge said. “Let the case be declared moot and the record of these charges burned in the Flames of Eternity. Bailiff! Seize the prosecutor and sharpen the Blades of Vivisection!”

The prosecutor ran for the back door of the court, but the watching demons leaped upon it and brought it down to the ground.

Zoe leaned over to the One-Eyed Crow.

“What were you on trial for?”

“Merely slander against my political campaign.”

Zoe blinked.

“Oh?”

“Theft, undocumented murder, unlawful possession, falsifying soul contracts, jaywalking,” the demon said with a bored wave of its wing. “The usual.”

Oriz leaned in and whispered.

“Were you guilty?”

“Of course not, my snacks were delicious.”

The Judge slammed their gavel like a mad drummer until the bailiff pushed through the crowd and sunk venomous fangs into the prosecutor’s exposed neck. The beautiful eyes fluttered as the anteater's snout drooped.

With its odd gait, the bailiff limped out of the court dragging the prosecutor behind it.

“Now,” the judge said. “With the ruckus settled, let us move on to the next case. I call Zoe Chambers of Earth to the stand!”

Zoe blinked. Cold dread uncoiled in her heart.

“What?”

The One-Eyed Crow gave her a gentle push.

“Go on.”

“What’s the next case?”

“How should I know? I can’t see the future.”

The mounting sense of dislocation threatened to pop her mind like a shoulder from its socket. The bailiff returned and with a bronze-scaled hand lifted Zoe from her chair and dragged her up to the stand.

“What am I on trial for?” she demanded.

The judge snorted — a large green bubble of mucus grew and burst like foul bubblegum — before leaning down to stare at her with beady eye stalks.

“You are not on trial, you are a witness. Do you swear to tell the truth and only the truth?”

“What…”

“Do you swear on the corpse of the Gambler — may he never return —”

“May he never return,” intoned the demons of the court.

“ — To neither deceive nor dissemble in your recounting of events?”

Zoe blinked.

“I… do?”

“Say ‘deal’, please.”

Zoe swallowed. She gazed at her friends. Bella and Oriz whispered something with the One-Eyed Crow. Bella gave a thumbs up.

“Deal,” Zoe said.

“Wonderful! Now, tell answer the court this one question. Does the Angel known as Sorrow still live?”

“No.”

“Answer as a statement, please.”

“The Angel known as Sorrow is dead.”

“You killed this being?”

Zoe nodded.

“Statement.”

“I killed the Angel known as Sorrow.”

“You are quite sure?”

“I am sure it is dead.”

“And the Seven-Handed Babirusa? Is it dead as well?”

“The Seven-Handed Babirusa is dead.”

“You killed it?”

Zoe wasn’t sure why, but the truth spilled from her.

“My accomplice electrocuted the Seven-Handed Babirusa until it was crispy and delicious.”

One of the demons in the back — a squat, hyena-looking fiend — stood and screamed.

“You heard her!”

Zoe’s heart sank into a black pit of dread. Why couldn't she lie? Oh, she made a deal…

What would happen now?

The judge slammed the gavel down.

“Order! Order! Based upon this testimony, I declared the Sweet Tear Marsh to be free territory once more. First in, first served!”

The demons in the crowd stood and shouted.

“First in, first served!”

The judge leaped from behind its seat and slid toward the back doors. The unruly mob charged after the judge and through the back doors. In moments, the courtroom was empty. Only Zoe, her friends, and the One-Eyed Crow remained.

“What the hell just happened?” Zoe asked.