The Earthlings that had run into the halls and other rooms on the Dark Vessel had slowly started to come back out when they heard silence after the monster arrived. They were wary when they saw Kohn running towards them.

“MOOOOOVVVVVEEEE!” He yelled at the people blocking his only escape. “Out of the way!”

At first they were scared that he had the monster chasing after him, but they only saw Ker. He was yelling curses at Kohn while waving a spear. For some reason he was covered in a strange liquid which was coated in a layer of grains and a few articles of clothing sticking to his hair and back.

When people started to ask what Kohn had done to Ker this time he yelled back, “He’s after my lucky charms!” in an Irish accent.

They couldn’t help it. When they heard him they started to laugh to the point of tears. Their laughter only spurred Ker further.

***

Prince StoneTooth was watching the displays with Leete.

By luck Leete wanted to save a recording of all interaction with the Jzanna corpse they were bringing aboard so they had seen the interactions between Kohn and Ker.

They were chuckling at the chase around the bay as Kohn scrambled to climb crates, knocking over some containers which were filled with grains directly onto Ker. The slime like saliva of the Jzanna caught a thick layer of them which made Ker’s appearance very silly.

Kohn kept trying to calm Ker down, but maybe due to his own personality he didn’t understand why Ker was upset with him from the beginning and the more he spoke the worse he made it.

At one point Kohn was cornered, but he managed to escape when he picked up a pile of clothes and threw it at Ker’s head, briefly entangling him. He could have escaped then, but Kohn didn’t seem to want to leave it be.

While Ker was taking pulling the clothes out of the sticky goo that covered him, Kohn snuck up behind him. With a quick pull Ker’s trousers were around his ankles, his hairless ass in full view.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

SMACK!

A big red hand print suddenly appeared for no reason at all, but Kohn took off anyway while Ker’s fleet lifted a clear foot off the floor.

Howling in rage and humiliation he ripped the clothes apart, pulled up his trousers and once more chased after Kohn.

When Kohn had yelled out ‘he’s after my lucky charms’ the Prince turned to Leete and asked him what were ‘lucky charms’.

“I don’t know your Highness, but it seems to be something that all of the Earthlings know about.”

“Yes, it appears that it is hilarious to them.”

They watched the Earthlings fall over crying, barely able to take in a breath. Just earlier they had been so scared that they had run at the sight of a corpse. And before that he had noticed that none of them were able to relax in the face of potential battle.

On the display Ker was fighting other guards as they tried to hold him down. Kohn had managed to climb some storage shelves and was asking Ker what was wrong with him.

“YOUUUUUU!” He yelled before throwing his spear.

Leete and the Prince were worried about losing the hilarious Earthling, but luckily he managed to dodge the thrown spear. Just barely. It stuck to the crate behind him, right between his legs.

Just when the two watching the display started to give out sighs of relief their bodies tried to laugh causing them to choke and cough.

Kohn had turned around, pulled down his pants to reveal his own butt cheeks and was taunting Ker.

“Leete. You mentioned something about programs on Earth that everyone was able to view.”

“Yes your Highness. They called them Television programs or broadcasts.”

“Gather up all the recordings of Kohn you’ve made so far.”

“What for your Highness?”

“Send them to the other ships in the fleet and have the High Mages show those recordings at an assembly. Maybe that will relieve the tension of the Earthlings and the fleet.” The Prince was still smiling broadly at the earth human. “If he can make me laugh this much then I can imagine the effect it will have on others.”

Leete agreed wholeheartedly. It had been since the Prince’s childhood that he had laughed and smiled so often. “Maybe we should do what they do on Earth and interview him.”

“Interview?”

“Have someone ask him questions while another records his words and actions. Then recombine the recordings in such a way that it adds to the message of the television program.”

“Very well. I’ll leave it up to you. Maybe if he continues like he this we can make it a regular assembly.”

Leete spoke up, very cheerfully remembering something. “I believe they call it episodes on Earth. Every week they’d make a certain length recording, only saving the best before releasing for everyone to watch.”

“Episodes?” Prince StoneTooth tested the words in his mouth. “Yes, do that.”

Unbeknownst to Kohn and Ker, their actions had been accepted by the most important person in the fleet. Even worse, what they’re doing would be shared to every person in the fleet who would describe it to everyone when they returned home.

***

 In the bay, the Jzanna corpse was kicked by Raymond.

“See?” He spoke to himself. “Nothing to be afraid of.”