It was very dark, and it was very lonely.
At the center of this loneliness and darkness was a sphere of light. It was very pure and very white, as if nothing could touch it without sullying its surface. If this ball of light had appeared in the mortal world, it would be revered as a heavenly treasure; many power hungry people would have stained the oceans to steal it.
But it was alone in the darkness, and thus there was nothing to compare the ball of light to. It was also unremarkable in these ways.
If you had peered closely at the darkness with a [Higher Order Celestial] lens, and enhanced your senses to their limit, you would've seen the indistinct shapes of different colored blobs. These were very indistinct and very faded - with the white light suppressing their color, they were even harder to see. They were souls, and needed watching over.
This was what one particular [Observer] was doing.
It sighed, or at least as far as It's anatomy allowed It to. (Had anyone else been there, they would have seen that It was very beautiful, but had no mouth. All [Observers] were beautiful, but It maintained the fact that It was doubly as so). It had been at this task for a billion billion years now, along with thousands upon thousands of others of its kind in their respective [Darkness] and ball of light. It had heard that He from Star EZ Aquarii C of Galaxy 3A had succeeded in getting a [Return] and thus had the name Gary bestowed upon Him. He could speak with a mouth, and not with telepathy as the rest of It's coworkers were forced to, allowing the universe to finally hear His grand ideas (although It maintained the opinion that His opinions were pretty trite).
For that, He had gotten a promotion. It was so annoying, all this fuss about naming and pronouns. Besides, it was all luck anyways, It thought, but deep down it yearned for the recognition of the universe as well. Being able to speak! Having one's thoughts heard out loud! It resigned itself to the would gain that recognition someday, but probably not for a long time, and continued to observe the souls of light dutifully.
Some flurry of activity burst from nearby, and It looked up in surprise. This level of activity from the souls was rarely seen, and it was always a good show whenever one of these phenomenons happened. Sometimes It would even cheer on certain souls of light it favored, which was technically forbidden by [Observers], but there was only so much star cleaning and polishing that It could do before becoming extremely bored.
It settled down in a nearby star cluster and watched as a light purple soul, larger than the others, muscled its way into a group of infighting blue souls and began swallowing them up, changing color to a purple greenish tint as it did so. A large red soul attempted to fight back. In It's careful [Observing] of this [Darkness] for the past billion billion years, It had noticed that some souls had a rudimentary consciousness and would "herd" other, lower rank souls as a way to get a steady supply of food. In exchange, the lower rank souls were protected by the larger souls. Clearly, this red soul had not maintained order among the green souls enough and was taken advantage by the light purple. Although they only had rudimentary consciousnesses, It still shook It's head at their foolishness. Once, these souls had names too, but they were only common names like Napoleon and Tutankhamun, and nothing as glorious and defying as Gary. Oh, there were a manner of other names that seemed great too, like Spot and Rover, and Max and Astro but these always belonged to lower rank souls, and no [Observer] wanted to be named after an lower rank soul, never mind a higher one.
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It was partial to the name Robert, Itself.
It watched as the souls fought all the way towards the white ball of light and got ready to take action in case they ever got near the dead zone around the ball. It was the only time [Observers] were allowed to interfere. Once, in It's younger days, perhaps when it was only a pup of one million years old, It had great fun luring unsuspecting souls near the dead zone and watching them slowly vaporize. It shook It's head at those memories. How cruel and callous It had been... Entirely unfitting of a proper [Observer]. Now, It watched out for any stray souls nearing the shield, although the blobs somehow knew that the area around the white ball of light was existence ending, and thus avoided it duly.
A small movement drew the [Observer]'s attention. It felt shock, something that was surprising in itself, as It prided Itself on It's calm nature. The [Observer] was vaguely aware of the blueish wisps It was exuding - the color of surprise.
Somehow, a small, grayish soul was actually making it's way towards the white ball of light. This was unprecedented. It would definitely get vaporized, so what was the reason for It's behavior? The white ball of light was finicky and only would accept a soul it deemed worthy for a [Return]. It prepared to rush over and gently nudge the small gray soul back to the outer reaches of the galaxy.
It's eyes widened. As the grey blob approached the dead zone, It could instinctively feel that something was special about this gray blob. This would be no ordinary [Return]. It could feel it. It would be rewarded for It's dedication and patience. Perhaps even higher than a [Name]. It would obtain a [Title], and would finally be capable of producing speech. It would be promoted. And thus It had to make sure this soul reached the ball of light at all costs. Interfering was not an issue here.
The small, gray soul, unremarkable, forgettable, made it's way towards the white ball of light. Other souls attempted to attack it, to no avail. The [Observer] simply pushed them aside, and watched in fascination as the gray blob squeezed past the deadly barrier and began to approach the white ball of light. It had never felt such excitement before in the billion billion years It had been [Observing] this galaxy.
The small gray soul began slowly melding together with the white ball of light, and It held It's breath. (Or at least It tried to - It had no respiratory system). The [Observer] did not know if the soul would be accepted by the ball of light. After all, nothing like this had happened before in the billion billion years It had kept watch.
The white ball of light began to hum - the first sound in a billion billion years. It spun, faster and faster, and began expanding.
As the white light began to swallow everything, It again thought that this was no ordinary [Return]. No, this was an infinitesimal probability. It was the result of Luck and Destiny intertwining, and somehow this small gray soul had gotten a second chance.
This was —