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Fear Not Death [HWFWM Fanfiction]
Chapter 127: If We Were Perfect

Chapter 127: If We Were Perfect

Chapter 127: If We Were Perfect

“I know how Sen feels about Theodore’s situation, but how to you feel, Encio?” Nara asked.

The two relaxed on the veranda of her room, having a private chat. It was month 11 of Erras, and the temperature was pleasant and cool, as it was in a monsoon-like region. The region of Sanshi didn’t snow; the proximity to the ocean kept the region temperate and mild, and the magical windmills and weather arrays caught the magical storms that would’ve drowned the region in nonstop rain during the summer months. Further north in the territory of Arlang their plains and mountains would be deep with powdered snow. Sen’s father kept an eye on the territory while his mother was managing the education of their two children, as well as local politics. He’d visit to see Sen and his sister Maya every so often. Nara’s visits to the Arlang compound hadn’t coincided with his, so the two remained unacquainted.

“The issue Theodore faced is normally an issue of silver rank,” Encio said. “Those at silver rank are split between those with external obligations or extra obligations and those without.”

“Like family?”

Encio nodded, “Those without family obligations continue to actively adventure. Gold rank isn’t one that can be sorely reached through fighting monsters.”

“It isn’t?”

“It’s still a large portion. You must push yourself against gold monsters—a task that is incredibly dangerous. Whether they had decided it beforehand or set down their ambitions later, silver rank is the rank most essence users stop at. You’ll see far more silver rankers in higher magic zones compared to Sanshi.”

“So, Theodore slowed down too early for his team?”

“Teams have differences in how they want to progress. Sen has run into that issue himself with his previous team. We’re pushing well for iron, but not impressively so; Sen has done a satisfactory job balancing our progress with our interests.”

“We have reasons for pushing hard and fast, but rest is important.”

“And knowledge and practice. Sen had learned as much from Aliyah and his parent’s educational philosophy. There are important skills external to ranking up that deserve dedicated attention. As for Theodore’s refusal to reforge his former teammate’s weapons, I don’t approve in general.”

Nara was a bit surprised and gestured for him to continue. Surely, Encio would have been the vindictive type, along with Eufemia? Or, he would’ve empathized with Theodore’s plight of those only wanting to use him for his skills and status?

“Without reforging them, those weapons are now completely useless. They can’t be bound to another person, so they’ll be discarded by his now bronze rank teammates. If they split amicably over a difference in opinion, then his actions tie his team mates to himself through necessity.”

So, his answer wasn’t of use or be used, but the freedom to come and go. Nara and Encio had their little agreement, but she had always doubted he would’ve wielded its restraints if she had genuinely wanted to go. While his opinions of freedom differed from Nara’s, Encio wouldn’t actually try to force someone to do something they did not want to do. “And If they didn’t split amicably?”

Encio grinned. “Then they should’ve watched who they mouthed off too.”

“Like you do?”

“I make clear judgements on who I can and cannot push. Their failure was their lack of knowledge.” Encio sipped his alcohol; like Eufemia, he had a taste for the spirits. Nara felt like a false expert, hemming and hawing as she tried to figure out if a spirit was valuable: Encio would know from experience and upbringing. “If Theodore wanted to show his mettle, he should’ve reforged them anyway, although I do not know if it would be possible.”

“It wouldn’t be possible? What do you mean?”

Encio placed his hand above his heart, looking solemn and dramatic with his swirling wine, “For low rank crafters, crafting a soul bound growth item requires the right emotional center. It’s a piece that embodies the height of skill and mastery, crafted for a specific person in mind aside—from utility items, like cloud flasks. Reforging their equipment while he hated them would have resulted in failure.”

The only item that had been crafted just for her was her Path Seeker Lute. Nirvana too, although she didn’t know the being that made it for her.

“Lesson learned: Don’t upset your crafter?”

Encio nodded, “Any attempts of your own to meddle with Theodore would be equally ill-fated. While he may have been initially harangued to smith equipment, that likely has ended. No one wants a soul bound growth item that has unreliable prospects of being upgraded past bronze rank.”

“So, his life as a blacksmith is finished, at least in Kallid. Why doesn’t he move?”

“Family, fear of the outside world, friendships, hopelessness—there are many burdens that could carry that tarry his step to horizons beyond the eye of the storm.”

“Well, aren’t you poetic.”

Encio waggled his eyebrows, “I am a handsome, rich, well-educated scion. I could hardly play the part if I wasn’t at least a wordsmith.”

“Maybe you do have a specialty skill after all,” said Nara with a teasing smile, “And you won’t walk in Sezan’s talentless footsteps.”

“Oh,” Encio said with the dread of a student who forgot their final exam was the next day, “I should hope not!”

*****

Before their trip to Crystal Quarry 6, back during her recovery period, Nara had received an unusual proposition from Lee Hu. One of her sponsorships wanted to meet with her to discuss their essence options. She had said to those she sponsored that she was able to provide any essence, within reason, although few made use of this option. Their ideal combinations sent to Nara were already ones much deliberated with the staff at the Prep Academy who aided them through the decision process, and the pros and cons of rarer essences were well known. Most opted for rarer awakening stones with common essences to provide unpredictability in their ability sets. Alternatively, Awakening Stones of Mirror, Light, and Illusion—a trend Eufemia had started.

Nara wasn’t an expert at essence selection. In fact, she was the practical opposite; her combination was told to her like a message from God spelled out with clouds in the sky. She had met no objections from anyone to her combination and spent less than 5 minutes on the full discussion at all.

She enlisted the aid of Sen and Encio, the two scions who were well-educated on essence selection.

The student in question was one that Nara related to. He was in his late thirties; old for a student. He wasn’t talented—he worked through the Prep Academy’s slow contribution point system to earn his prior two essences while he balanced working full time. The contribution point system allowed students to work odd jobs and small tasks around the city in exchange for working towards an essence, paid in both contribution points and spirit coins. Usually, only the most undesirable essences could be earned this way, as they had the lowest point values. But it was a way, nonetheless, for those who had nothing else to offer but persistence to embark on a path of essence magic.

Nara could sense him walking down the path to the docks before she could see him. His aura was clearly nervous, communicating his anxiety like a stuttering voice and sweaty hands.

Duncan Walker’s stride down the port towards the harbor lot in question was calm and measured, despite the pounding of his heart in his chest. With his mediocre skills it had taken him 7 years to acquire the two essences he had so far—which, he had held off on absorbing. Put together they would make the unpopular Chimera Confluence. He had resolved himself to use whatever he had earned. He was used to that—that's who he was. The unimpressive man sticking his arms into the mud and grease to find the missing ring. The one who escorted the children across the city to Sanshi city hall as an extra chaperone and wrangled them to make sure none sprinted off between the buildings to catch the trail of a flying adventurer like puppies who wouldn’t stop chasing butterflies.

There were small tasks, but Duncan hadn’t minded them. He enjoyed helping the folks around the city with different walks and runs. Some lived quickly, and others lingered at a pace even slower than his. He was but a passing cloud in their sky yet was happy to glimpse down into their lives.

He was glad there was a path at all for him in this city, where in other cities there were none except for priesthood. Many chose that path, but it wasn’t for Duncan. He was mediocre, even in faith.

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He stopped to marvel at the pavilion that stretched across the ocean as if it floated on still water, despite the waves gently lapping at its deck, yet never spilling onto its surface. It was dense with plants; full trees painted the house with dappled shade, and flowers caught the sunlight as they drank its golden nectar. It was beautiful and harmonious in a way that made Duncan feel as if he was a mundane intruder into a reclusive diamond ranker’s unsullied slice of paradise.

Intruder he shall be; all Duncan had was his persistence. It was a useless thought—he was invited, after all.

As if reading his thoughts, a floating grey robe shimmered beside him. He hadn’t even noticed it was there until it spoke.

“Mister Walker, if you’ll follow me, I will guide you to miss Edea.”

“T-thank you,” he stuttered, surprised by the familiar. He cleared his throat and spoke again, firmly, “May I have your name?”

“I am Sage,” the familiar said, seemingly pleased with his courtesy. Few asked Sage for her name. So, she liked the nervous but polite mister Walker.

Once he stepped onto the pavilion grounds, he noticed the temperature warmed slightly. He could smell the plants around him; a pleasant perfume of floral and woody notes that mixed pleasantly with the salty breeze. It wasn’t overwhelming nor irritating, like background notes in an orchestra you had to intentionally pick out yet adding to the overall orchestration.

He was led to an open air veranda. Dark wood beams let slices of sunlight through the gaps. Combined with the already plentiful trees, Duncan was transported to a quiet pavilion in a seaside forest.

“Miss Edea is waiting for you inside, mister Walker.”

His gaze focused on the three figures conformably chatting on the veranda seating. Two were men so beautiful Duncan deeply questioned his orientation in a fit of unthinking lunacy.

The first was on the androgynous and leaner side, but clearly fit and muscular as all essence users were. His emerald eyes glimmered like priceless jewels that turned everyone who saw them into hapless thieves. His slightly wavy hair was pulled into a short ponytail to keep his hair out of his eyes. He was at home with the ocean, the wind teasing at his dark locks like flirtatious wind nymphs.

The second was a masculine and handsome, wide-shouldered and strong-bodied yet balanced that Duncan found himself envious of his demi-god physique. While his exterior was calm and controlled, his grey eyes contained the rolling clouds of an untamed ocean storm.

For a moment, Duncan questioned if he was in the right place, and hadn’t stumbled into some high ranker’s garden party.

The last was a young woman, far more ordinary in comparison. If the two beside her were priceless heirloom jewels, she was still a rough cut. This was expected for iron rankers, and Duncan felt ashamed he was more at ease based on her appearance, and chided himself for his rudeness. She was his sponsor and deserved his highest respect. She had a relaxing presence, where the other two put him on edge in the same way the beauty of high rankers was dangerous.

He centered himself and approached the table, drawing the attention of the three who, despite their earlier casual conversation, were clearly waiting for him.

“It is a pleasure to mee you, my sponsor. I am Duncan Walker. Please excuse my shamelessness for requesting this meeting, miss Edea, and thank you for accepting it.”

“Just call me Nara. It’s a pleasure to meet you too. This is Encio, and this is Sen.”

“Hey there.”

“Sanshi’s greetings, Duncan Walker.”

“Just call me Duncan,” he responded.

She gestured him to sit on a couch opposite of her, and he did. He was immediately pleasantly surprised by the comfort of the couch. Some of his tension melted away into the couch as it melted to suit his body. He unintentionally sighed in contentment, then gathered himself again embarrassedly, shifting and straightening his spine.

“It’s okay to relax,” she said with humor. “This isn’t a job interview. You wanted to discuss your essences?”

Despite her words, Duncan couldn’t help but fix his posture. “The current essences I have earned through contribution points are these two—” he pulled his two essences out of the locked dimensional pouch provided to him by the academy. Even his unpopular essences were perfect targets for robbery. The Prep Academy didn’t want their poor students to be robbed of their hard work, so they provided very small dimension bags with tracking magic. After a few years had passed, thieves knew better than to target the academy pouches.

Erin Nisei had played no small hand in making sure that any who did target academy pouches were caught and harshly punished. It was a taboo of Shanyin to target the students—they were what many of the Shanyin moonlighters dreamed of becoming themselves.

“Turtle and dog?”

“You recognize them?” Duncan said, surprised.

“I have an ability that lets me identify objects by sight,” she said.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have pried.” It was good manners not to ask an essence user about their abilities. Duncan was disappointed in his own repeated mistakes.

“Don’t sweat it,” she smiled. “So, not bad essences, but usually not put together.” Turtle was used in some defensive builds, but not with another animal. Dog was useful for those who wanted to become tracking specialists, but less popular than the Wolf essence, which could be developed similarly and notably combined into combinations known for tactical group combat or the a popular werewolf Transfiguration Confluence, known for high offensive power and self-regeneration.

“I’ve requested a meeting because I wanted to clarify the limitations of your offer. You can really…gift me with any essence?”

“Yup. Most of you stick to the ones you’ve chosen, but I guess you’re one of the ones that don’t have an initial two you like very much.”

Duncan was ashamed of his own pickiness, his gaze dipping down at the table to look at the essences.

“I know that the chimera confluence, while difficult to use at low ranks, is known for its flexibility at high ranks but…” he trailed off.

“It’s not what you want. Good news, Duncan! You have the opportunity to have whatever you want. So, let this genie know your three wishes.”

“Even five star essences?”

“Those too. Which ones did you want?”

Duncan shook his head rapidly, sputtering out his next words like an old car struggling to start in freezing temperatures. “F-f-five star essences should be saved for your own family!”

She arched an eyebrow amusedly, and reached up and pulled cubes from thin air as if she was plucking them from the sky. She kept pulling, stacking them upon one another as if they were common stone blocks, and not essences worth their weight in silver and gold spirit coins.

She read out to him as if listing off groceries, “Dimension essence, dimension essence, dimension essence, myriad essence, myriad essence, vast essence, vast essence…” After reading off every essence in her rudimentary brick work, she concluded, “The only one I don’t have is the Sin Essence.”

He was aghast. His nails bit into his thighs in shock as his eyes stared, seeing nothing but 5-star essences too bright before his eyes.

“Oh what a refreshingly normal reaction,” Nara said, inexplicably satisfied. “These two don’t bat an eye.”

“No, your ability is plainly absurd,” Encio said.

“And yet, you say that without any amazement. So?” Nara turned to Duncan with a smug smile, “What do you want?”

Duncan’s mind spun. He had just wanted the Balance, Earth and Shield Essences for the Boundary Confluence. He wanted to become a defender who could protect others. That was just a normal combination of two 1-star essences and one 2-star essence—nothing exorbitantly expensive, but beyond his meager means.

“Hey, hey,” Nara soothed, “Don’t feel pressured. Whatever you originally had in mind is fine too. If you want to refine your choice from limitless options, these two are here for you.”

Duncan looked up, “Then… I am grateful for your generosity.” He had come this far. If his sponsor was offering, he would accept. Duncan thought he had nothing but persistence, but he also had a firm will.

Nara smiled, “That’s the spirit. Shoot for your wildest dreams. Today, they come true.”

Duncan wanted to be a defender. Standing at the front to protect the ordinary lives of people and his comrades. He had his persistence, and he thought a defensive position would make use of that one aspect he had to offer. In his faint hopes and dreams, there was one essence called out to him like secret song carried on the wind from the voices of oracles on far.

“Resolute, Shield, and Might for the Guardian Confluence,” Encio said, “A combination for a defensive frontliner.”

Of the essences he chose, Resolute was rare, or a 3-star essence. The other two were common essences. Although he had the offer for legendary essences, Duncan was not tempted by them.

Duncan looked up at Nara expectantly, “What do you think?”

“Why are you—”

Encio elbowed her sharply.

“What?” Nara hissed over voice chat.

“I know you think everyone should be able to independently make their choices about their essences, but you are the very person that makes this possible for him. His sponsor. He looks up to you as his benefactor. I know you feel awkward because he’s a lot older than you, and you even look up to him for his hard work and dedication to pursue dreams that you haven’t felt that you’ve been able to demonstrate or fulfill—”

“Damn, how do you know that?”

“Nara, I know what you think of yourself. For my level of skill, you’re an illustration reference book. The point is you are in a position of seniority and respect over Duncan Walker. You are a peak iron ranker transitioning into bronze rank, and a 3-star adventurer. He wants your opinion, and you were the one who allowed this meeting, so give it to him.”

Nara wasn’t used to this position of respect she now held. At Crystal Quarry 6, while the town head was thankful towards Sen in particular, he also thanked all the other members of the team profusely. She was the one who had provided the ability to evacuate the townsfolk, and delayed Siyu’s rampant killings until help could arrive. The town showered them with both thanks and gifts. If they traveled to Crystal Quarry 6 for any reason, they would be warmly welcomed.

At the Advent facility, she had seen the expectations others held for adventurers. In Crystal Quarry 6, she saw their admiration. With Duncan, she was held in his esteem. Her whole life she had never been in a position of respect or authority. She actively avoided them. She didn’t want managerial positions, she didn’t like teaching children, she didn’t want to be the project leader of a group project.

In Duncan’s eyes, she was his aspiration. A wealthy iron ranker that generously gave out what others fought over. There were no stipulations, no contracts, no promises. Nara was hands-off besides selecting aid recipients because she was carefree and lazy, but to Duncan she was generous and benevolent. Nara was only mildly aware of the dreams she helped fulfill.

Nara looked at Sen. After her previous battles, she understood his position more. She organized her experiences and his wisdom before she finally spoke.

“To be a defender is to place your trust in your teammates, as they place their trust in you. You will be the one to stand between the death of your team members. And yet, without your team members, you will fall. You have to help and trust each other.” She thought of Scar Throat who was abandoned by his team members, “More than anything Duncan, you should find those teammates who will have your back no matter the circumstances.”

“Do you think I can do that?” Even though I’m so mediocre, he thought silently, “Protect others in that way.?”

“I think you’ve demonstrated greater ability to hold your ground than most people start with. There’s a saying in my world: 10,000 hours of practice will make you a Master. It’s a little more nuanced than that in reality, but if you keep up the effort as you have been, even if you falter at first, if you persist—it will become your skill. There is no shame in failure if you get back up and try again. There’s no shame in failure at all, really; if we were perfect, we would be…”

Gods, she had wanted to say. But the gods of this world were not perfect. Nor were the gods of mythology in her world either. Far from it; they were icons of wrath, tragedy, narcissism, inequality, and injustice.

“Well, if we were perfect would we be real?”