Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

- Unknown

By the time they finally made it back to their ship Miles and the others were all exhausted. Miles knew he didn’t have much reason to be. The long walk back along the winding paths of the Daishinrin was, at worst, pleasant. As they’d neared the utterly colossal tree that held the Kawanowari skyport, their forward progress had slowed to a crawl.

It wasn’t crowded the way that Peritura’s skyport had occasionally become, with people standing shoulder to shoulder pressing forward, straining and jockeying for inches. The lines were neat and orderly and well spaced apart which Miles appreciated more than he could have easily expressed. But the open elevators that carried people up into the branches hundreds of feet in the air were not exactly swift. That was good because a swift, open elevator would be terrifying. However, a slow, open elevator meant the nerve wracking climb took more time and gave Miles longer to consider the ever growing drop below.

Miles wasn’t sure why some of the others looked so tired. Raziel and Keira made sense. Raziel especially looked near dead on his feet, which was only slightly worse than he’d looked for weeks. Roland hadn’t exerted himself nearly so much in his fight though and Hoeru always seemed to have boundless energy but they both looked tired and grumpy.

Finally at the top, they trudged along the walkways carved into a tree branch so large Miles struggled to think of something comparable. The arms of giants in stories, their hands reaching up through the clouds to hang the moons in the sky, came to mind. Huge skyships, mostly Arcan in design, perched in the off shoot branches as though seafaring vessels had one day decided to take flight and make nests like birds. A relative few of the ships were the gigantic, blocky ships of the dwarves, flying fortresses that scoffed at pitiful concepts like aerodynamics.

But Miles mostly kept his eyes on his feet. The guard rails at the edges of the branch paths looked sturdy but even a glance at the drop below made Miles’ hands sweat and his stomach turn in knots.

Basil’s ship, the Azure Blossom wasn’t like the Arcan or Dwarven ships. It was long, sleek, white and blue, like someone had carved a ship from a piece of the sky itself. The material of the ship’s hull and decks weren’t wood, but a material Miles couldn’t fully identify. He thought it might be enchanted ceramic. The sails spread out gracefully like the long wings of a dragonfly, two on the topside and two beneath. It was strange that such a beautiful ship would be captained by such a grim man.

The five of them had barely stepped onto the Blossom when a girl came rocketing up the stairs from below decks. She practically flew up them and crashed into Hoeru, throwing her arms around the changeling and nearly taking him to the ground. Hoeru, for his part, seemed unsurprised. If anything, the look on his face as he hugged her gently back was relieved.

The girl from the egg they’d found beneath Kusa’s tower was still pale as paper and nearly as thin but she’d become more and more active every day since she’d come out of her shell. It had been weeks before she could even walk and she’d needed near round the clock care. She had been almost skeletal, the skin clinging to her visible bones. Now she merely looked like she’d gone through too many growth spurts too quickly, her cheek and collar bones still standing out harshly. Her large blue eyes dominated her face and her billowing cloud of puffy white hair almost seemed larger than the rest of her.

“Sumi,” she sighed, her head pressed against Hoeru’s chest. It was the only word she ever said and consequently, what they’d taken to calling her. It reminded Miles of Kusa. The instant her sigh ended, she let go of Hoeru and stood straight, coming nearly up to the changeling’s chin. Then without warning she threw herself at Raziel.

That hug didn’t last as long as Hoeru’s had but it was no less affectionate. Raziel winced under her enthusiasm and she released him instantly. The pained smile he gave her fooled no one and she reached up gingerly to the bruise on his swelling cheek.

“Its fine. I won. Kinda,” he said. Most would’ve let the lie go for politeness sake but Sumi either didn’t understand the concept or did not care for it. Her concern seemed to pain Raziel as much as his face.

“I’m gonna go down to my room,” Raziel muttered, his false smile fading, apparently not wanting to meet Sumi’s eyes anymore. It was hard to sort out the physical pain from the embarrassment on his face. Raziel made his way unsteadily to the stairs and Miles wanted to help him but there was no way to do it without hurting Raziel’s pride more.

“I need to pack,” Keira said, and followed him. Miles had already done his packing. He had figured that he’d either succeed somehow in securing a place at one of the schools or that Basil would kick him off the ship. Keira would tell her brother that the eviction wouldn’t be necessary.

Miles sat on the deck of Basil’s ship with Roland, Hoeru, and Sumi. All there was left to do was wait for someone to come to take them to their schools. This wasn’t the first time that Miles had been forced to go to a new, unfamiliar home. The first had been the House of Healing in Arcas after his mother’s death. He and Roland had been taken from there to Peritura. Now they were being taken to schools. He hoped that when he left this new home it would still be standing. So far, he’d left two of his three homes in ruins.

Miles didn’t hate moving once it was done. But this moment in between was always the worst. Not knowing exactly what to expect always made Miles’ stomach twist in uncomfortable knots.

The grain of the planks he sat on was as ordinary as could be and yet Miles couldn’t stop tracing it’s whirls with his fingers. He knew he should have felt overwhelming relief. He’d been on the verge of hyper-ventilation at the thought of having to follow what Raziel had done on during his fight with Daichi. He’d been happy for his friend’s success but he’d known that he wouldn’t be able to match it, much less what Keira or Roland had done. Raziel had managed to get him a place in a school without Miles having to lift a finger or throw a punch.

So why did he feel so frustrated?

“Are you guys excited?” Miles asked, hoping to take his mind from his uncertain feelings. He realized the moment the words left his mouth that he’d asked the wrong question.

Neither Hoeru nor Roland turned towards him. Roland’s left hand rubbed at the knuckles of his right like they pained him. Hoeru sat with Sumi curled up and leaning against him like a small girl might do with a big dog.

“No,” Hoeru said.

“I don’t know,” Roland answered, a moment later.

“Why not?” Miles asked. If he let the conversation die now he might not be able to get it started at all again.

“Pointless,” Hoeru muttered. Roland again, as usual was silent for a beat before answering. It wasn’t a hesitation from not wanting to answer. It was Roland’s way of being certain of his words, weighing them like coins to be spent.

“I don’t know if this is what I’m supposed to be doing. This doesn’t feel right to me. Learning to fight,” Roland said at last.

“You hardly need to learn how anyway,” Miles said, trying to make a joke. He knew immediately it was the wrong thing to say. Roland’s shoulders tensed like he’d been struck and Hoeru shifted like he’d sensed something from Roland, despite facing away from him. Sumi waited for him to still and then scooted closer to him again.

“I don’t want to hurt people.” Roland stared down at his hands like they belonged to someone else.

“That’s why you need to learn to fight,” Hoeru said. Miles felt the growing tension in the air like someone taking sandpaper to his teeth. He wished he’d never opened his stupid mouth but the conversation was moving now whether he wanted it to or not. Hoeru continued, “People who know how to fight know how to avoid fights. Some people want to fight a big guy just to prove themselves. No one wants to fight a big guy who really knows how to fight though.”

Roland listened but Miles wasn’t sure he could hear what Hoeru was saying. Miles could remember, couldn’t stop remembering, the night Peritura burned. How Lucas had come at them, a hideous creature of contorted muscle. How Roland had fought him while Miles cowered. How Roland had pulled his punch at the last second and left him to die.

Roland had preferred death to fighting Lucas with everything he had. And if Miles hadn’t gotten very lucky he’d have paid the same price that night. Something Roland had to have known.

“I need to learn. I need to know how to defend myself. If I’d known before… things would be different,” Miles said, trying to divert the conversation to himself, though he couldn’t think just how things would have been different.

“Everyone should know how to fight,” Hoeru said, muttering the words like they were the most obvious thing a person could say. Water was wet. Stones were hard. People should know how to fight.

“The world would be better if no one knew how,” Roland said, surprising both Hoeru and Miles with how quickly the words came. Even Roland seemed surprised his own vehemence, like the quick words hadn’t had time to ripen and were still sour.

“No. It wouldn’t,” Hoeru said with certainty. The changeling was sitting up straight now. He’d disturbed Sumi from her place and his mostly gold eyes were locked on Roland now.

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“What has ever been made better by fighting?” Roland challenged. Miles just wanted them to stop. He hadn’t meant to start any of this and all of it was making his already queasy stomach writhe.

“Of course you think that. How many things have you run into that could even hurt you?”

“I almost died fighting Lucas,” Roland said, his voice cold.

“It’s a good thing Miles was there to fight for you then, wasn’t it?” Hoeru answered, equal ice in his tone.

“Stop.”

They both turned to him. Miles was just as surprised as they were.

“Just stop. I don’t want to fight about this. Why are you two even here if you don’t want to be?”

Neither Hoeru nor Roland answered right away. The tension in Hoeru seemed to fade, his hair even seeming to stand less on end than it had a moment ago. Roland looked at Hoeru and back to Miles before letting out a long sigh.

“I don’t know. After Peritura and… Lucas. Well. When Basil came and offered to take me with him I thought it might be a good idea. It might be somewhere I could learn to… to put my talents to use. I thought maybe I could help people. But I’ve had time to think about it. Now, I’m not so sure.”

“Humans…” Hoeru muttered, but his tone was more resigned than derisive. Miles and Roland both turned to him, waiting. He seemed to only realize then that he was expected to answer the question too. He glanced away, his posture stiffening.

“It isn’t as though I have somewhere else to go.”

The statement seemed ridiculous. Hoeru could go wherever he wanted. Most people would die out in the wilderness between cities. Hoeru had proven that he could survive out amongst the monsters and spirits that lived in those vast forests, though perhaps the local elves would take exception to a changeling living in their forests.

But then there was Sumi. She had come, skeletal and clothed only in ooze from an egg beneath a strange, spirit inhabited tower. She seemed human, if a bit odd. She didn’t speak except to say her name. She didn’t seem like she’d be much help out in the wilderness. Maybe that was why he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave her behind.

“What about you,” Hoeru continued, trying to push past his unsatisfactory answer. Why are you here?”

Because my best friend was willing to let me die.

Miles bit down on the thought before it could leave his mouth. He could still feel the terror of that night in the hospital. More often than not he dreamed of being stalked down endless corridors, cornered, trapped and pulled apart like a roast chicken. Lucas’ hot breath in his face and burst blood vessel eyes haunted him. Miles had to stop himself from scratching at the scars on his palm.

“It just seems like the right thing to do. I don’t want to lose another home. I don’t want to have to be afraid of monsters anymore.”

“You always have to be afraid of the monsters,” Hoeru said.

“Or afraid of becoming one,” Roland said.

The silence between them returned then, deeper than it had been before. Miles wanted to fill it but couldn’t find the words. Instead, he found himself wondering, over and over again, if Hoeru and Roland, two of the strongest people he knew didn’t know what they were doing here, how could he? They had so much of what he was desperate for, could protect themselves so much better than he could. So why were they still both afraid?

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Raziel lay on the floor of the cabin he shared with Hoeru. The lights were off and the room was dark as a cave. The cool floor was his only relief from the waves of heat and pain coursing through his body. He hadn’t pushed himself that hard since Peritura. In fact, before today he’d hardly used his magic.

The pain was all consuming. Everything seemed to cause it. Even the brush of his clothes on his skin was like coarse wood dragged over severe burns. It would rise in him to a knife edge point where he could barely see straight, much less think. It had taken everything he had to make the walk from the arena back to their ship without asking for help or collapsing. He’d nearly screamed when Sumi hugged him.

The pain was finally receding now but he had no idea if it would continue to do so or if have yet another resurgence. He was grateful that his stomach hadn’t been a problem during the match. He’d thrown up twice now and had only left the restroom because there didn’t seem to be anything left to come up.

He wanted to go out to his friends, to sit with them. Who knew when the next time he’d see Roland or Keira would be once they started their training? But the simple fact was that he couldn’t let them see him like this. Shivering, sweating, his face pale and bloodless, his legs barely able to hold him up. With one last sweeping wave of tingling, stinging, ache passing through his body, the pain fell back to nearly manageable levels and Raziel sank with it, uncurling from his fetal position to lay flat on the floor.

A knock at the door came.

“Come in,” Raziel said, thinking it must be Hoeru. But it wasn’t Hoeru. It took Raziel’s eyes a moment to see Keira standing in the doorway. She was already wearing the uniform of Mori’s school. The dark red clothes looked black against the light of the hall and made her look almost like a living shadow.

“Hey. Are you okay? Why are you laying in the floor?”

Raziel had to stop himself from visibly flinching from the words he least wanted to hear from the person he least wanted to say them. Surely not flinching would be enough to keep her from noticing that he was laying on the floor in the dark, in a puddle of sweat, smelling like vomit. The flinch was definitely what would give it away.

Raziel put on a grin like he wasn’t trembling, aching and like his mouth wasn’t burning with spice that hurt twice as bad the second time around.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah. Just got a little dizzy and needed to lay down is all.”

“In the floor instead of in your bed.”

“Yeah. It’s cooler down here.”

Keira eyed him, her mouth curling down into a slow frown. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms before walking over to stand near him.

“And you threw up?”

How was it that she could make him feel caught just with a look and a few words?

“Yeah, a little. I think I just ate too much before fighting.”

Keira just looked at him. The silence stretched between them and Raziel could not fathom what was going on behind her cool, green eyes. But as uncomfortable as it was, he couldn’t look away. Didn’t want to look away. A part of him wanted to sink into the floor and disappear to get her eyes off him. But there was another part. That part would have sat there in silence for a decade just to hear what she would say next.

“Those are signs of a concussion, Raz,” Keira said. Raziel did turn away at that.

“I’m fine,” he said, iritated with himself for sounding petulant.

“No, you’re not. You haven’t been fine for weeks,” Keira said, like she’d caught him stealing someone else’s lunch. Raziel’s only answer was a glare but she went on anyway. “I thought I was just imagining it. You haven’t been yourself since… Since what happened with Kusa.”

Mention of the little spirit sent a wholly different spike of pain through Raziel. Raziel had only known the spirit for a very short time. It wasn’t the loss that hurt so much, even if he never had been able to ask it about his father. It was that Raziel knew if he’d acted differently, been stronger, faster, if he’d been able to stop Mask, Kusa wouldn’t have died. He wouldn’t have had to kill the little spirit himself.

But there was no point in saying any of that to Keira. She couldn’t change that truth any more than he could.

“You don’t have to do this, Raz,” she said. That drew him back to the present like a whip-crack.

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t have to follow me. You don’t have to do this right now. I know you don’t want anyone to know but you’re hurt and I can’t just ignore it and let you hurt yourself more trying to keep up.”

“Then why are you only saying this now? I told you I’m fine and I am. I didn’t go through all of that just to quit now that I’ve got a teacher. Leave me alone if that’s all you’ve got to say to me.”

“I told you, you might have a concussion. Leaving you alone is the worst thing I could do.”

Raziel rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m not quitting. I don’t even know why you’d ask me to.”

“I’m not asking you to. But I don’t think my brother should have asked you to come with us.”

“That’s not your decision,” Raziel said. Keira’s eyes flashed at that but Raziel wasn’t willing to back down. His head was well and truly pounding now and this conversation wasn’t helping. If she was going to go this far to make him angry he could give the same back to her.

“If it was my choice, you wouldn’t even be here,” she snarled. She could have slapped him in the face and it wouldn’t have hurt as much as those words.

“Is that why you had Roland and Miles break me out of that hospital? You wanted my help then and I was in much worse shape.”

Keira’s face paled at that but she didn’t lose any of the fire in her eyes.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I should have done a lot of things differently,” Keira said. It didn’t sound like an apology. It sounded like she’d just turned her anger on herself instead. Raziel grimaced and only partly because of the pain hammering the inside of his skull.

“We both should have.”

“That’s why I’m telling you this. You don’t have to be here. I don’t know what my brother told you. I don’t really care either. You can’t trust him. He’ll say anything he needs to to get you to do what he wants. But he doesn’t care about you.”

That tracked. The image of Keria’s brother swept into Raziel’s mind, empty and dark as a forgotten house. The sky-captain was not a kind man. His cold, grey eyes weren’t full of light like most people’s. Just calculation. But that was the problem. He’d calculated correctly when he’d told Raziel the consequences for failure. Basil hadn’t woven a trap of lies. He’d stabbed Raziel with the truth.

“Doesn’t matter,” Raziel said.

“Yes it does. I don’t want you hurting yourself for me.”

“Then I won’t get hurt.”

The muscles in Keira’s thin jaw stood out when she clenched her teeth. Her nostrils flared when she was angry. It was hard not to notice these things, so Raziel looked away.

“That’s not how this works and you know it.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do, you idiot. ”

“Then stop telling me what to do.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. You don’t want to feel bad about what happens to me and you think that if I go away you can just forget me. So you’re trying to give me permission and hoping I’ll do it on my own so you don’t have to feel bad about that either.”

She looked like he’d slapped her. Raziel didn’t like that but he didn’t feel bad about it either.

“And if you get hurt here? If you can’t do this or you try and it gets worse for you then what am I supposed to do, Raz?” There was a heat to her words, an edge he wouldn’t have expected.

“What I do isn’t about you.”

“No. Don’t lie to me. It might be about Miles and Roland and Hoeru too but I’m not stupid.”

“I’d never lie to you.”

“Then why are you here?”

Raziel wanted to spit back an answer but he caught the words before they came. He almost had to chew them to pull them back down his throat but he held his tongue. His head pounded in time with his pulsing heart but pain and he were old friends. He forced it back and thought about what she’d asked. She wasn’t entirely wrong. He was here because of her. For her. But not just for her. Not by a long shot.

“I’m here because I need to be. I… did things in Peritura. Kusa died because of me. Lucas turned into…” Raziel paused and had to force himself to keep breathing, long, slow, steady as he thought about what Miles had told him Lucas had become. As he remembered sitting still while a monster offered Lucas a cup and Raziel did nothing to stop him drinking. “Lucas became what he did because of me. People died and lost their homes because of me.”

Raziel couldn’t keep the snarl out of his voice on those words.

“You didn’t do those things Raz.”

“Does it help you when people say that about the choices you regret?”

Keira went silent at that and Raziel knew he’d won the point. The look on her face made it a sour victory. The silence stretched between them, frustrating like a discordant note. But she didn’t move and she kept looking at him.

“Well?” he asked at last.

“Well what?”

“You can leave. I’m fine.”

“Idiot,” she said, and though the word was harsh and her tone rough, he heard something in it that softened both. “You really could have a concussion. I wasn’t joking about that. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“Ah,” Raziel said, hesitated, and pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them so he could rest his aching head against them. “I’m not going to leave you alone either.”