A life taken is no easy burden.

- Gerhard the Regretful, fourth king of Eisenboden

Roland sat on the stairs outside the mansion, waiting. Keira and Miles were both making preparations for their attempted breakout. He had no preparations to make. At least, no external ones.

He sat with his fingers laced together and his chin between his thumbs and forefingers. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears and in his chest. His chest rose with slow rhythm and fell as he focused on his breathing, making himself take deep, steadying breaths, trying to calm his racing heart, but he did not close his eyes. It was the only way to avoid seeing the image that haunted him.

The night was cool, but he felt hot, nervous. He’d hoped that his conversation with Miles would help steady him. When Keira had presented the case to him for why they needed to rescue Raziel, he had agreed with her that it was necessary. Miles had only strengthened that belief. Roland’s only doubt now was in his ability.

Though he continued to look unblinking up at the pale moon and despite his efforts to suppress it, an image continued to swell up in his mind: a boy with red hair twitching on the ground, his head at an impossible angle, his spine pressing against the flesh of his neck, threatening to tear through.

“Roland?”

It was Keira’s voice. He could see uncertainty in her face as well, though she was trying hard to hide it. He put his hands on his knees and rose. Even though he was standing a step below her, he still was more than a head taller than her. She seemed delicate to him, though admittedly, almost everything was delicate to him.

“You ready?” she asked. As she did, the uncertainty and fear seemed to disappear. She couldn’t fool him. He knew she was as scared as he was. Still he admired her ability to put her fear aside and do what she believed she needed to. He gave her a solemn nod.

“I couldn’t find Hoeru. Where’s Miles? We need to get moving,” she asked.

“I’m here,” Miles came around the corner from the direction of the guys’ dorm. He had on a large backpack that was crammed near to bursting.

“What is that for?” Keira asked looking at the pack.

“Almost every eventuality I could think of.”

“Almost?” Roland asked.

“I couldn’t pack everything I wanted. I had to prioritize,” Miles said defensively, though Roland wasn’t sure if he was being defensive about the pack, his priorities, or both.

“Whatever. As long as you can carry it without help, I guess it doesn’t matter what you bring. Let’s go,” Keira said. Out on the streets, they got a few strange looks, but not very many. Even late in the evening, there were still people moving about.

“What’s our plan?” Miles asked.

“Get in. Get Raziel. Get Hoeru. Get out,” Keira said.

Miles’ face turned incredulous.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”

“What else do we need?”

The look on Miles’ face was somewhere between anger and a panic attack.

“Are you serious? No. Stop. Come with me.”

Keira and Roland were both surprised by the force in his voice. He walked away without looking back, and they followed. In a secluded alley, he opened his pack. He pulled out a couple of sheets of paper on which were a very precise drawing of the floor plan of the hospital.

“You’ll have to excuse the crudeness of the drawings. I didn’t have time to make them to scale.”

“No, it’s really good actually,” Keira said, clearly just as impressed as Roland.

Miles squirmed as he tried not to show how pleased he was by the compliment.

“Alright, look. From what I remember, there were always guards at these points,” Miles said, pointing at both entrances to the building and the entrance to the lower levels where they’d been interrogated after their trip into the forest. “Now, luckily, there’s no one guarding this point or the road leading up to it. From right here, we have clear access to the balcony where Raziel met that spirit. Roland, I know you’re strong, but do you think you’re strong enough to throw Keira or—” he paused, gulping “—me up to the balcony?”

Roland thought back. They’d been on the third floor. That wasn’t really a problem. Roland was fairly sure that if he was really trying, he could throw them much higher than that. The problem was controlling his strength well enough to not overshoot. That was always the problem. He didn’t have a lot of experience with his strength past a certain point. He had gotten very good at always being gentle, at always using the bare minimum amount of force he needed in order to accomplish something. Even so, Roland could tell at a glance that if he couldn’t manage it, they would probably have to go through the guards.

“Yes,” he said.

“Alright. Once one of us is up, we’ll use the rope I brought for you and whoever is still on the ground. From there, it shouldn’t be terribly difficult to slip past the guards’ patrol pattern. It has a lot of holes. I’m guessing they’ve been doing it for a long time without any problems because they’re pretty lax about the whole thing.”

Miles stopped, noticing the way that Roland and Keira were looking at him.

“What?”

“How do you know all that?” Keira asked incredulous. Roland nodded with her.

Miles looked sheepish.

“I remember things. This is why you brought me, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, of course it is. It’s just… I didn’t know you’d be this good at it.”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Anyway, we’ll take this route. We’ll be able to check and see if they’re in the quarantine area, and hopefully we’ll be able to get him out without having to go past the first floor. If he’s not in the quarantine area, he’s almost certainly going to be down in the basement, and I don’t think there’s a way we can get in there without having to do something to these two guards.”

Roland kept his face stony. He knew that meant he would have to do something about them. The image of the boy with the broken neck appeared in his mind again, but he pushed it away and nodded.

“Alright. Once we’re inside, we’ll go right and check each of these rooms. We’ll have to hide in this one for a few minutes while we wait for the patrol to pass, and then that’ll free us to get to these stairs. Then we’ll go to this floor and search….” Miles went on like that for a few minutes but after a moment he saw the bewildered looks Roland and Keira were giving him. “Was I going too fast?”

“No, it’s just a lot to take in,” Keira said

“Oh! That’s easy to deal with. I came up with this mnemonic to help me memorize it. It’s—”

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“That’s alright, Miles, I trust you. We’ll follow your lead once we’re inside.”

“Oh.” Miles didn’t look happy about that idea, but he swallowed his fear and nodded. Roland gave Keira an appreciative look.

“Alright, let’s get moving again. We need to get there as soon as we can,” Keira said.

Roland’s dread grew with every step they took. He tried to think of another way they could get in. Maybe they could distract the guards at the front door somehow? Or break a window and go in that way? But he knew that neither idea would work as well as Miles’ plan.

“You okay?” Miles asked, breaking Roland out of his reverie. Roland looked at Miles questioningly. “You just look a bit… well, worried. I’ve never seen you look worried before.”

“I’ve never done this before,” he said. He didn’t want to trouble Miles more by telling him about his fears. Miles was jittery enough as it was.

“Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Do you think they’re okay? Raz and Hoeru?”

“I hope so,” Roland said.

Miles nodded and, seeming to think of something suddenly, moved ahead to tell Keira about whatever it was. Probably some other part of the guards’ patrol pattern or the hospital’s floor plan that he wanted her input on.

Roland was sure that, observant as Miles was, he didn’t see how well his simple question had reframed how Roland was looking at the situation. Roland knew he couldn’t let this be about him. It needed to be about Raziel. He took a deep breath and nodded to himself. If their positions were reversed, Raziel wouldn’t hesitate, so neither would he.

Besides, if they were right about what was happening, there was a pretty good chance they’d die anyway.

It wasn’t long before they were at the right spot. Miles and Keira argued over who should get thrown up but, scared as he was, Miles pointed out that he knew how to tie the best kind of knot for the rope. Miles pointed to the corner where he thought a patrol was most likely to come from, and Keira went to keep watch.

“So how are we going to—” Miles started to say but cut himself off with a quiet yelp when Roland picked him up by grabbing him under his shoulders.

“Nonononono-not-yet-oh-gods-I’m-not-ready-I’m-going-to-die-I’m-going-to-die-right-now-oh-gods-oh-gods—”

“Stop that. I’m gauging your weight,” Roland said firmly. He could still feel Miles’ shaking, but at least he stopped talking. Roland closed his eyes and set Miles down.

“Alright. I’m ready.”

“Okay. Okay. Let’s go when I count to three, alright?” Miles said, clearly forcing the words out.

“Alright. Put your hands on my shoulders and step into my hands. When I lift, you jump.” Miles nodded and shakily did as he was told.

“One,” he said. Roland closed his eyes and sent a prayer up to Destiny or Fate or any other god that would listen that he wasn’t about to hurt or kill Miles.

“Two,” Miles squeaked. Roland took a deep breath, tied all of his emotions together and let them go out along with his exhalation. The worry, the fear, the anxiety all left him for a moment. A moment was all he’d need. Then, one way or another, it would all be over. He barely felt it when Miles flew out of his hands.

To his credit, Miles tried to be quiet. But his “Three,” turned into a half shout as he was launched up high into the air. Roland didn’t care about that though. He looked up, trying to fight down the panic that had roared back into him.

Roland had thrown him almost perfectly but the “almost” nearly cost Miles his life. Roland looked up to see Miles hanging in the air at the end of his upward momentum, not quite above the lip of the balcony. Roland tried to position himself to catch Miles when he fell, but Miles just barely caught ledge.

Suddenly Keira was beside him, pulling on his arm. He looked down at her confused and realized that she was trying to get him away, into the nearby alley. He and Keira slipped into a patch of shadows just in time. A pair of guards came around the corner. They were talking and laughing, not paying much attention to anything. Miles froze in his attempts to climb up over the railing.

Roland and Keira both held their breath, their eyes flicking between Miles’ straining form and the guards and their leisurely pace. Seconds oozed by while Roland prayed for Miles to have strength and willed the guards to walk faster.

A handful of horrible seconds later when their voices finally disappeared, Miles’ resumed pulling himself up. Roland and Keira burst from their hiding place and ran to stand beneath Miles.

Miles was clearly struggling, fighting for every inch he pulled himself up. Roland cursed himself for not making Miles take off the backpack before he’d thrown him. Miles made his painfully gradual way up and managed to climb high enough to get one foot onto the lip. Roland let out his breath in a gasp. Beside him he heard Keira do the same.

Miles’ foot slipped.

Roland thought his heart would burst, and he nearly screamed on instinct. From the corner of his eye, he saw Keira clap her hands over her mouth. Miles gave out a high-pitched squeak, and though he lost a couple inches as his legs swung back beneath him, his grip held. He started pulling upward again, and Roland gritted his teeth.

“Come on, come on, come on….” Keira whispered over and over. Miles’ foot found the lip again, more carefully this time, and he managed to get his legs beneath him. He looked down to Keira and Roland and gave them a nervous smile. He took a few moments to rest and then swung over the railing.

Keira gave out a breathy laugh of relief. Then she seemed to suddenly remember where they were and ran back to the corner to keep watch. Roland made himself count in his head as he waited for Miles to throw down the rope. It helped him return to something like calm, and when the rope came down, he was ready rather than anxious.

The climb wasn’t difficult, but it was slower than he would have liked. He felt like every time a foot touched the wall, it was a thunderclap. Even so, no guards came to check on the noise and soon he was standing next to Miles. Keira grabbed the rope and held on while Roland hauled her up.

Once she was up, Miles started winding up the rope and putting it away again. Roland could see that his hands were still shaking and the look in his eyes was like a panicked animal’s. Keira must’ve seen it to. She knelt and took the rope from his hands and locked eyes with him.

“That was amazing, Miles,” she said. Miles froze for a long few moments, but Roland saw some of the tension ease out of him. Keira continued, “Take a breather. I’ll do this.”

Miles hesitated but nodded and moved away. They were in a corner tucked away from the entrance to the patio and unlikely to be seen unless a guard actually came out to check the area and, according to Miles, none had done that in the entire time they’d stayed in the hospital. It didn’t take long for Keira to have the rope in order and back in the pack, but Miles looked a lot better by the time she was done.

“Okay, what’s our next move?” Keira asked.

Miles took a final steadying deep breath.

“We wait.”

“What?” Keira asked, surprised.

“The patrols through here weren’t very regular. If there’s no one up here, they’ll probably be even more lax about it. So, since we can’t know how long it’s going to be before the guards come through, we’re just going to have to wait for them. That way, once they’ve passed through we’ll have the maximum amount of time to look around and won’t have to worry as much about them sneaking up on us.”

Keira looked like she wanted to argue but nodded instead. “How will we know when they come through?”

“We’ll sit by the door and listen for them. We should be able to hear them. They weren’t quiet about it. We’ll need to be quiet ourselves though. No talking unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

They made their way over to the door. Roland took up most of the space on one corner himself so Miles and Keira had to squeeze together on the other side.

Time seemed to drag past as they waited, but that was fine for Roland. He trusted Miles’ belief that they were safe from discovery where they were. Waiting was easy for him, especially with the expanse of stars above to look at. He and the few friends he’d had back home had often sat on hillsides, looking up at the stars for hours. They’d made their own constellations, and most of them talked about how they were going to escape their small, lonely town. Roland hadn’t felt much need for that. He’d been happy enough where he was. In the end, though, he’d been the first to leave. He wondered if any of the others had ever made it out or if they were still there, puttering away and dreaming. He hoped they'd forgotten him.

At some point later, Miles moved. Roland had no idea how long they’d been sitting there, but he could tell that the moons had shifted considerably. The white moon was still in view, but the gold moon had passed behind a building while the red had begun to rise into view. Miles moved up and peeked quickly through a window before coming back down to a crouch. He looked concerned, but it was Miles’ problem-solving face rather than his fearful panicked one.

“What’s going on?” Keira asked.

“Something’s wrong. It’s been more than an hour. Someone should have come through here by now. We’re going to have to risk it. We need to get inside and get them, or we’re going to run out of time to get out of the city while it’s still dark. I’ll go first. When I give you the signal—” he beat out a rhythm of knocks on the wall beside him, “—come in. Don’t do anything till I come back.”

Miles took his pack off and reached for the door. He was inside quickly and quietly. Once again, there was nothing to do but wait. Roland settled back down to contemplate the sky again. Keira seemed to be having more trouble with it. She fidgeted and kept looking at the door as though that would cause Miles to reappear. But she kept to Miles’ advice and didn’t try to follow him. Raziel probably wouldn’t have been able to do that. Roland thought for a moment about how different all three of them were from him and how, if any of them were in Raziel’s position and he were trying to rescue them, they’d probably have all been caught already. Hoeru might have been able to rescue them all on his own.

The sound of Miles’ knocking quietly made Keira jump. She moved quickly to open the door. Miles looked pale, almost like he was going to be sick.

“Are you okay? Did you find them?” Keira asked.

Miles shook his head.

“You need to see this though,” he said as Roland handed him his pack.