I slammed the door and hit the wall in extreme frustration. I paced my room back and forth trying to calm myself, but it wasn't helping. The bad feeling in my stomach still wouldn’t go away, which was making me furious. It was like a huge dark feeling in the pits of my stomach that made me sick, I couldn't figure out why I had that feeling. In attempt to get things off of my mind, I jumped out my my window and went to the basketball court. The walk was long and tiring, but much needed.
I started shooting a couple of hoops with a basketball I found on the court 'til I was out of breath. Then while I was tired, I would practice my dribbling until my energy was regained. It felt like only minutes had passed, that my life had finally slowed down a bit. That this chaos might only be a dream. I was in my own world and I didn't want to leave. But I watched as the sky slowly darkened and the stars appeared, and I realized that leaving my peaceful place was reality.
While I was walking back home, my phone started ringing. I had forgotten that I even brought a phone with me, and it startled me for a moment. I thought it was my mom wondering where I was and I was afraid to even take the phone out of my pocket. But I sat on the sidewalk preparing myself for a lecture as I slipped out my phone. A device the government also didn't take away. Ring ring ring. I looked at the caller ID, it was Jaried? I found it rather odd considering he never calls me unless I'm late or something bad happened. He believed phones were a waste of time and money. Which, I couldn't say I exactly disagreed with him, phones were a pain in the butt sometimes. Still, him calling me left me worried.
"Hey, what’s up? Everything alright?" I said, suspiciously.
"Can you come meet me? Like, now?" He said, nervously and a bit frantic.
"My mom kind of bounded me to the house.... Are you okay?" I asked, obviously worried.
"Can you just come? I need to tell you something important, and I rather not say it over the phone. I don’t want anybody listening in. Please come meet me at our favorite place, I'll be waiting." He said, hanging up the phone before I could even get another word in. But it sounded urgent, so I decided to go to our favorite place instead, risking my mom's sanity, or what’s left of it at least.
This was the first time that I've ever snuck out of the house and stayed out late without my mother's consent. I felt adrenaline, but I also felt anxiety. But I didn't feel like what I was doing was wrong. Jaried was my friend, and I wanted to be there for him. So, I started my journey to our hideout more or less. And of course, it was a long walk. My legs ached from all of the exercise they've endured over the pass few hours. But, to make it easier on them, or harder, depending on which way you look at it, I decided to take a short cut. I jumped over a fence that led me to private property. Obviously, not the smartest idea, but the quickest way.
"What are you doing back here!" An officer yelled, as my feet hit the ground.
"I'm going somewhere, and I’m just taking a small shortcut is all." I said.
"First Jakecub and now you, I ought to call your mother. Tell her what's going on with you delinquents. Get on back the way you came from. I don’t want to fill out any paperwork or haul you back to the police car."
"Then don’t and just let me through."
“That’s not going to happen. Now, don’t make me chase you.”
“With all due respect, I have to go this way.”
"I don't care what you think you ought to do, I'm the boss around here and ain't nobody goin' to tell me different. Now you listen here and you listen closely, you don't come back here again or I'll put you in one of my jails, and that ain't goin' to be fun for you. This is private property. Know what that means? It means you little kids can’t come around here thinking you can do whatever you want. It means, stay out."
Before he could say anything else, I made a run for it and darted past him before he could grab me. I kept running as he ran the opposite way. And sure enough, I heard the police siren right behind me as he rode his motorbike. We spent a good few minutes of me trying to avoiding his attempts to grab me and his attempts of trying to catch me. Eventually, he grabbed a hold of the collar of my shirt. I fell into his bike causing us to fall down. He let go of my shirt and I tried pulling the bike out from under him. He went to lift up his legs to get up and I thought I was home free and able to get the bike. But as I was lifting it away, he grabbed it and started pulling it towards him. We played this type of tug-o-war for awhile before I decided to start kicking him. At this point, there was no going back. He still didn't let go, so I rammed the bike into his face. He laid back holding his face and I was sure enough out of there. I hope Jaried makes this meeting worth it, because I'm now in more than huge trouble.
I ran across the property to the river, splashing my warm feet into cold icy water. I made my way to the bridge and followed the train tracks to an old hotel. Man this place is even creepier walking alone I had thought. I opened room four with a key that was under the mat, and walked to the bathroom. I lifted four tiles off of the ground and jumped down into the black hole. I grabbed my phone and made light for my walkway. It was colder than usual down here and with every step I took, I heard water splashing. Jaried and I found this place one day when we were playing and being mischievous. We were to afraid to go down in the tunnels until later however. There was lots of different ways to go, but we just continued straight ahead and found at the end of the tunnel was our hangout spot. But the secret tunnel always freaked me out, kind of made me feel like I was in a cemetery full of ghosts. I kept walking until I got to the end of the tunnel and climbed up the rusty latter. I opened the hatch to an abandoned restaurant called Charlie's All You Can Eat Cheeseburger House.
"Jaried! Where are you?" I yelled.
“I’m over here, in the building. But I don’t want you coming any closer yet.” He said.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“I have something to show you…”
“What is it?”
"Promise me once you see me, you won’t be scared? Or, you can just stay outside."
"What’s going on Jaried?" I said, worried.
He came out of the double doors, my light shined on him and I finally understood the horrors he was talking about. Blood covered his body from head to toe and his clothes were ripped. He looked like he was the sole cause of a massacre, and his weapon of choice was a knife. I tried saying a word, any word, as my eyes widened. But my brain couldn't comprehend the sight I was seeing. He looked terrified as his face morphed into the color of a ghost. My immediate thought was that someone had stabbed him and he was bleeding out. But then I wondered why he didn't just go to the hospital. I was confused and terrified all at the same time, but I felt as if I was frozen in place, and that time was a myth. He started crying, and if the blood wasn't enough to confirm that something bad had happened, his tears were.
"What the hell happened to you!? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I frantically asked.
"I had to do it, I just had to! I had no choice Liz!" He yelled, terrified.
"Do what? What did you have to do Jaried? What happened?"
"If I didn't do it, I would have been killed, my siblings would have died. You have to understand."
"Please tell me what’s going on, did your dad do something? I’ll understand, I promise."
"Okay…” He said, crying. Trying to regain his composer. “I was in my room like always, listening to music, minding my own business when I heard my mother screaming. At first, I thought it was my abusive father hurting my mom again because he came in drunk. I ran out to try and stop him. But it turned out, he wasn't hitting her, he was trying to bite her. I watched as my mom tried her hardest to get him off her. This wasn't her normal terrified look either. He was growling, he was relentless, and I was confused. I tried throwing him off, but he was too strong for me, he pushed me down on the ground. I got up and ran back into my room, grabbing a metal bar off of my window, then ran back out and hit him upside the head. He got up and looked at me, growling. He started walking towards me, I looked into his eyes and all I saw was rage and vacancy. My heart pumped fast. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a big knife, I knew this wasn't him. This wasn't my dad. He started growling again and went to charge me. I didn't even know what happened. He ran straight into the knife. I let go of the handle and backed away. All I saw was blood gushing everywhere, from him. Then I looked at my mom, laying there motionless. Blood coming out of her neck. It turned out he had taken a hand sized chunk of flesh out of her neck. It was horrifying, I ran towards her, trying to cover up her neck with my hands. But the blood just kept gushing out and spraying on me. Blood was everywhere."
He stopped talking and dropped to the ground. He mumbled some words that were inaudible, then fell silent. Tears flowed down his face as he stared blankly at the ground. Sirens could be heard from down the road along with distant footsteps not far from the restaurant. I went over and tried to pick up Jaried, but he wouldn't move. I started shaking him and slapping him over and over again, but he was unresponsive. It was like his soul had left his body almost.
"We need to go, get up!" I yelled, but there was no answer. "Dude, the cops are coming. We need to hide."
He looked at me with a blank stare, his eyes full of tears. I forced him up off the ground and pushed him into the restaurant. I closed the double doors and locked them. Jaried and I had the keys to the restaurant. We stole them one night from the business owner, which was one of the reasons the place went out of business. Of course, I felt bad for being one of the primary causes for his bankruptcy, but if that hadn't happened, we wouldn't have a place to hide now. Unfortunately, I didn't have the keys with me, so I couldn't get into the managers room to hide.
After we got into the store, Jaried started rambling on again with his story as if nothing had happened. He was mentally unstable right now, but there was nothing I could do. Not to mention, the heat inside the restaurant made me feel like I was dying and I was panicking. All I knew was that I didn't want to be caught by the police.
"I got up and there was a puddle of blood around my feet. I turn around to see my dad, I stabbing him, the knife was still in his body, and it didn't seem to even phase him. So I waited for him to approach me and took the knife that was in his stomach out and I stabbed him in the neck over and over and over again. But then he grabbed me, I fell, and he got on top of me, trying to bite my neck. The knife flew out of my hand, so I started punching him in the face and choking him!"
"Jaried,” I interrupted, “you can't talk so loud, the cops will hear you."
"Sorry, I… I," He said, continuing "my mom, she got up and tackled him. I was so stunned that I got up and ran for the door. But as my hand touched the doorknob, I remembered my siblings in the other room. I turned around and ran for their room when he tackled me... I hit the ground so hard I became dizzy and the air flew out of my lungs. But I fought off the feeling of passing out as best as I could, remembering that my life was in stake and my siblings. I knew if I didn't kill him now, he was going to kill me first. That this would've been the end for me, and possibly my siblings. So I did what had to be done. I grabbed a cord right next to me and wrapped it around his neck," he took a long pause and almost started crying again, but I beat him to the tears. "I pulled hard on the cord, as hard as I could. I started hearing cracking, then soon his head just fell off and rolled on the floor right next to the fireplace. Blood went everywhere like a fountain, and I just laid there, letting it fall on me and letting my clothes soak it all up. I couldn’t believe what I had just done, or what I had just saw. His eyes just had… Had madness in it and death, all he wanted was to kill me. I wasn’t even his son anymore, I didn’t exist to him. I killed someone..."
I threw up from everything he was telling me, there was way too much detail, and it only added onto the panic that I was already feeling. He grabbed a hold of me tight, I felt as if his grip was leaving bruises on me, but I didn't care. We cried together until he started talking about his experiences again. I couldn't take it anymore, I stopped him. I didn't want to imagine what he had been through. I didn't want to imagine that this drug had affected his family.
"My mom sat on the ground and picked me up, holding me. She cried, I could feel her blood pouring down my neck. It was warm, it was thick. She started whispering in my ear, she said she could feel the poison going through her body and that I needed to get out of here. She told me to get my siblings. Her voice trembling and gargling through the blood that was filling her mouth. I could feel her grip on me getting weaker, and her body slowly fell back. I held on to her, crying. I looked at her face, it was completely expressionless. Her eyes were vacant. I wiped the tears from my face and got up. I heard a door opening slowly and a soft voice come from the room. It was my little brother. My voice was weak as I told him to stay there. I looked at myself, covered in blood and I walked to the room. My body felt so weak, but I knew I couldn't stay in this house. I walked into the bedroom, my siblings face said it all. They were scared. All I could manage to say was to put something over their eyes as I packed up some of their things.
Before we left, I made sure all of their eyes were covered, and we walked out of the house. I watched as they took off their blindfolds as soon as we got outside and ask questions that I didn't have the answer to. I looked back at the house and realized that I wanted a picture of my mom to keep. I went back inside making sure my siblings stayed inside. But I noticed my mom was twitching. I knew she was dead, I knew she was, so I couldn't figure out why she was twitching. When she got up, I knew it was going to end the same way. I walked over to the bloody knife and picked it up, watching as she got up. She started walking towards me, her body slanted, I kept telling her to stop walking, but she wouldn't. I cried for her to please stop. I didn't want to hurt her. But she lunged towards me anyway." He paused again and I took my chance to finally stop the conversation.
"Stop, stop, stop... I know what happens next, it's okay, and you don't have to explain to me."
"Please don't think I'm a killer, I didn't mean to. I didn’t want to hurt her. I love my mother."
"I understand, you did what you had to do. Okay, oh my god, what are you guys going to do? Where are you guys going to go?"
"I was hoping we could come to your place…?"
Our conversation was interrupted by the police banging on the restaurant door. We both jumped up in panic, and his siblings who were with him started to cry. I helped grab all of their stuff and told Jaried to hide his siblings. I looked at the blood and then looked at the door of policemen trying to get in, there was no time to clean it up. I ran into the bathroom peering out of the door into the lobby, waiting for them to finally bust open the door. I heard a bang and assumed they were in, the first thing they saw was the puddle of fresh blood and called for backup. They started searching the area cautiously with their guns. I saw Jaried slowly getting up and I tried motioning for him to sit back down. But with it being dark in here, and me trying to be silent, he didn't hear me. I watched as he hit one of the cops upside the head and told his siblings to run into the tall grass.
The next thing I heard was bullets being fired and the flash from the guns. I ran out of the bathroom and grabbed Jaried, getting us behind the counters of the restaurant. I slapped him as hard as I could and told him that this wasn't a battle zone, that he might of just cost us our lives. The shock swept across his face and he started crying again. While the police were occupied, I went over to the passed out cop and grabbed his gun. I went back behind the counter and grabbed Jaried. I was about to sneak our way out when another cop grabbed a hold of me. It was almost as if instinct hit me and I turned around in a split second and shot the cop in his neck. The cop fell down, holding his neck and all the other cops started shooting where we were at. I ran back into the bathroom with Jaried following me. The shooting had stopped for a moment. I knew they were slowly making their way to the bathroom.
I knew we had to get out now or we would be dead. I looked around the bathroom door expecting there to be some kind of window, but there was none. I looked up at the ceiling to see a vent. I told Jaried to pick me up and bring me as close as he could to the vent. When he did, I crawled through. He climbed up the stalls and waited for me to help grab him. When I got a hold of him, I pulled him up and we both crawled through the vent. The cops were now in the bathroom and noticed we weren't there. When they realized there was a vent, they started shooting at the ceiling, but we had already crawled far enough away. One of the cops inside the bathroom yelled at the other cops in the lobby to start shooting at the vents. As soon as he said that, it seemed like a thousand bullets were poking through the vent. Luckily we weren't to far away from the fan that leads to the outside of the building. We managed to not get shot long enough that I was able to knock out the fan and fall out of the vent.
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As soon as we both got grounded, we headed for the tall grass, looking for his siblings. When we found them, we headed for the highway. The cops were hot on our trail and the branches that broke beneath our feet loudly, didn't help us in our escape. Not to mention, by now they had their dogs chasing after us.
Cars were going left and right on the highway, I looked behind us to see the cops getting closer. I darted out in front of vehicles and heard screeching as breaks slammed to a stop all around me. But I didn't stop, Jaried soon followed. When we got to the other side, we all heard a loud boom behind us. I could only imagine a huge car wreck had taken place. However, the cops were no longer chasing us. We kept walking until we found an abandoned car in the middle of nowhere. I made the call that we all should stay there for the night as we crawled in. It was cold, but we all cuddled up to one another. I could smell the dried blood of Jaried's cloths, but I ignored the stench as I tried to sleep.
A few hours later I heard the cops run by, I guess they were still looking for us. But they didn't realize we were in the car. I waited for a few minutes and woke up the others. I didn't want to chance them seeing us on their way back and we started to get out of the car until I saw a tow truck. I told everyone to get back into the car and hide in the trunk of the car. In about a half hour, the tower got everything hooked up and started driving away. I sighed as I listened to the sound of the road. I ended up falling asleep for a minute or two until the tower got to his destination.
The owner and the tower talked for a few minutes before they departed. I slowly got back into the cab of the car and peeked out, I watched until the owner went back inside and I told everyone to get out again. When we all got out of the car, I noticed there was blood on the seat from Jaried's clothes. I sighed again, and we quickly walked away from the car. None of us talked until I brought up a question that he had asked me while we were at the restaurant.
"You know... My mom would never allow you to come to our house and stay right? Especially with a situation like this. She doesn't even let you hang out with me at home when she is there. Also, I hope no one notices, but your clothes are really bloody, and someone might think you're dangerous, or that something is wrong."
"Please just talk to her, otherwise we're dead..."
"Okay, fine... But first, we have to find our way home."
"Yeah, that was close... You know? Back there? If we got caught, we would of been dead."
"Yeah, I know. That’s why we didn't get caught, all because of me. I'm always the brains in situations like this."
"Whatever, if you're so smart then where are we right now?"
"Lets just say we are far from home, that's all."
While we walked back towards the highway, an old friend of my mom's pulled over and had us get in. She kept looking at Jaried but she said nothing. I finally got tired of her silent wonder and I explained to her that he worked in a butcher house and blood was common. Jaried then laughed and agreed, he started talking about the "process" and she cut him off when it started getting gruesome. "He didn't get the chance to clean up when he got a call from his mom saying she'd drop off the kids at the butcher house. She said his dad wasn't doing well and my mom offered for them to stay at our house. But she couldn't pick him up so I offered to walk over and get him. But we kind of got lost. Do you remember where we live?" I added on.
"Yes, I think I remember the place. Blue house right?" She asked.
"You'd be correct." I said.
She gave a concerned smile but drove us over to my house anyway. When I got home, before I could even got close to opening the door, my mom ran out screaming at me. Telling me to get inside and that I was this terrible child. But the flow of insults quickly stopped when she saw the sight of Jaried. She ran over to him and asked him what was wrong. I took the little kids inside and set up a place for them to sleep in my younger sibling’s room. I could tell that they wanted to cry, but they were too afraid to do so. I left the room sitting on the couch waiting for my mom and Jaried to get through talking. It sounded like for once in my moms life, she didn't know what to do. At one point, I heard them both crying on the front porch.
Around eight they both came in, my mom walked to her room with tears stained on her face and new ones forming in her eyes. "Elizabeth, get Jaried some fresh clothes and a towel, your friend and his siblings are going to stay with us. Also, make a bed for him here in the living room for him to sleep."
I did as she said and while Jaried was talking a shower, and his blood stained clothes were being washed, my brother Damien walked through the door. He had groceries in both of his hands, he looked at me and said 'Help.' Before falling to the ground. The groceries scattered the floor and I ran to him. Blood covered his body.
My mother ran out of her room and started screaming at the sight of him. My ears stung with her loud, horrific screech. I yelled for her to shut up, but nothing would stop her until she had passed out from lack of oxygen.
Damien smirked before talking. "Well, I got some groceries at least." He said in a joking manner, his face turning a shade of white.
Everyone was shocked by the sight of Damien as they came out of their rooms wondering why my mom was screaming. I touched Damien, surprisingly he was cold. Jaried ran out of the bathroom holding a towel over himself and ran over to Damien. He put the towel over Damien's gunshot wounds and tried to stop the bleeding. Surprised, I looked at Jaried's junk. I'd never seen a male genital before in person. Jaried started talking to me, but I couldn't focus on anything other than his penis. Aaroon yelled at me and I shook my head, repeating 'What?'. Jaried repeated that he thought Damien was going to be fine. Damien started screaming as Jaried put pressure on his stomach when Jakecub sprung out of the door. Damien fell unconscious.
"Stop! You're hurting him... He can't take the pain, he gets beat up three days a week at this fight club. I have to carry him back home, this is too much for him!" Jakecub announced.
"Jake shut the hell up, I'm okay." Damien weakly said, as he was falling in and out of consciousness.
"Dude! You're not, last week you got thrown against the wall and was out for hours. I thought you were dead in that alley until you woke up. Just let him rest, you need to rest!"
"Excuse me! You mean to tell me you go to fight clubs? Do you know how stupid that is and irresponsible that is? Especially at a time like this with everyone getting sick and an Army unit coming down here to make sure everyone is safe?" I yelled, feeling a bit of Deja Vu as I realized I sounded exactly like my mother. "You know what they could do? They could take away Damien with all of these bruises and these gunshots if they see him."
"Let's take him to the hospital then." Aaroon said.
"Are you crazy? He will surely die if we take him there! With all of the sick people, he will probably die in a few days. You can't take him to the hospital, he needs to stay here." I yelled.
"I'll get him to the room and you can clean his wounds okay Liz? As for everyone else, get the groceries in the house. That might be a target on our back that we don't want. If he isn't better tomorrow, we need to take him to the hospital. Aaroon, wake up mom."
Everyone rushed out to the car to get the groceries inside as Jakecub and I dragged Damien into the bedroom, placing him on the bed.
"I'm cold, I'm so cold." Damien announced as he briefly woke up from being unconscious again. I began dressing his wounds when he started having a seizure out of nowhere.
"You're body is going into shock from all the blood you’ve lost." I replied.
“Is he going to die?” Jakecub asked.
“No, but we need to keep his body from moving so he doesn't hit anything. He really needs to be in the hospital but right now, I don’t know if that would be such a good idea. His organs could be in danger, maybe the bullets are shifting, or he lost to much blood. I don't know. He has another bullet that went through his shoulder, and one embedded in his leg. Which isn't as bad, but still not good.”
“What do we do?”
“We need to stop the bleeding and find out if the bullet is shifting through his body. Hopefully they didn't do any damage. How do we figure all of this out? I don’t exactly know either.”
When Damien stopped shaking, I checked to see if he was okay. His stomach wounds didn't seem that deep, but I was still afraid that there was damage done to his organs. I covered him up with a blanket after stopping his bleeding and he fell asleep for the last time. He had sweat pouring down his face, but his face started relaxing after awhile. “Jakecub, stay with him twenty-four seven, if he gets any worse whatsoever you tell me right away. Okay? He looks fine for now, but he can’t bleed anymore. Wash the sweat off his face and make sure he doesn't get a fever." I said.
“Don’t worry, he will be glued to my hip. Or more like I will be glued to his.”
I softly smiled before walking back out into the living room, I felt like I was a doctor about to tell a family bad news. Everyone was staring back at me, even people who weren't part of my family were concerned. A crowd of blue and brown eyes waited desperately for my every word.
"He's going to be okay for now, I promise." I said, hearing my mom sigh in relief.
"Oh thank God, what a relief... I thought something bad was going to happen." My mom said with tears rolling down her cheeks and her hands shaking.
"You're welcome mom. Why don’t I go make dinner for tonight?" I had asked as my tummy was growling, hoping that no one else heard it.
"Oh no honey, let me do that, it’s not your job.”
“Are you sure? It wouldn’t be a problem, I know how much you must’ve been through tonight. What all of us have been through tonight. I’m terrified to even.”
“I’m sure, go do something productive and I will be alright. Okay honey? I almost forgot all about dinner, I was so freaked out. There was so much going on that I didn't even think of dinner, I bet you all are very hungry from all this fright. What do you all want to eat?"
Everyone began blurting out all of their favorite foods that they wanted for dinner. I watched as my mom became overwhelmed with requests. The look of panic overflowed her facial expressions. She tried her best not to show that anything was wrong with her, but I could always see through her act. I could tell that she wanted to cry, this wasn't helping her, it was just making her feel worse. But I couldn't do anything, I felt as useless as my mom did in this kind of situation. Not to mention, all the yelling made it hard to think, and the arguing didn't make the yelling any easier.
"Hey guys!" I yelled in attempt to ease the situation. "Why don't we all calm down and put our requests in a hat, then mom will pick one out of all the rest. Whichever one she picks will be our dinner tonight alright? Now settle down!"
No one noticed I had said anything over all the yelling, not even my mom. I was like a ghost in a crowd of people. I figured it was useless to try doing anything else and I sat in the corner, watching the chaos take place in front of me. Jaried then walked out of my room holding a guitar and handed me a piece of paper with a chicken recipe on it.
"Hand this to your mom while I play the guitar for the littler kids. I know your mom and you are going through a lot. I just want to make it a little bit easier for you guys and help out. Considering your mom was kind enough to let me stay here with you guys." He began playing an old song that pretty much everyone knew while I handed mom the recipe. All the little kids sang as loud as they could to the song.
I watched as everyone enjoyed his company and laughed with him. He could take away all of their pain. I looked down at myself, I felt worthless in my own skin. "The recipe is what Jaried's mom use to cook for them during special occasions, it's there favorite dish I believe. You should cook it, this might give everyone a little bit of a reason to be happy tonight. I guess?" I informed my mom.
“Thank you sweetie, I appreciate you bringing this to me. Thank you again for your bravery, I’m very proud of you.” My mother said wiping a tear from her face and giving me a hug.
I was amazed, this was the first time my mom and I have ever hugged in what seemed like years. Not to mention, this was the first time in awhile that I seemed to of gotten recognition for what I had done. It made me feel better about myself momentarily. I only wished this kind of acceptance and visibility was shown more often to me. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so shitty most of the time throughout the day.
After awhile, Jaried was through with playing his guitar, and everyone went and did their own thing. Whether it was singing or dancing, or help with the cooking, the list was endless. Then there was me, sitting on the couch in my own little world in this chaotic house. I got up and walked outside, I watched as the rain poured down on the concrete and everything became gloomy. I loved the rain, when I was a little kid I use to think someone had died and the angels were crying for them because no one else was. I liked that thought because that meant someone actually cared for them.
But now it doesn’t seem like there are angels, or anyone who does care out in this world that is bigger than life really. Will the rain fall for me when I’m gone? Only then will I know the truth about everything that I’ve ever wandered in this lifetime.