Novels2Search

30: The World is Our Oyster

With a lighthearted leap, Novos landed in the driver's seat of the vehicle he and Remus shared. The floating carriage, which had been dubbed the Chrome Caravan by Remus, and the Fuckwagon by Novos, was parked on the side of the singular main road that traveled through the humble town of Morfos. To Novos' dismay, the Chrome Caravan was what Remus preferred to call it, and to his further dismay, he was also beginning to call it that.

Novos kicked his feet up onto the side, and opened the dried leather bag that contained smoked meats, which he'd purchased from the general store they'd stopped at only moments ago, to refresh himself after several long hours of traveling. The sun was beginning to set, and the air was growing cold. Unfazed by the trip, largely because she was not the one to drive, Remus regaled herself with one of many tomes she had purchased before their journey. It had been roughly three days since the pair had come into possession of the machine, but only now were the two beginning their adventure, because only now did they decide on a destination. The destination in question? Snake Tree, Cardige.

A disproportionately enormous coniferous tree located in southeast Cardige, the tree withholds a similarly disproportionately enormous population of snakes of all sizes, from tame garden snakes to enormous man-swallowers, all throughout its boughs and trunk. Wrapped around the trunk of the tree is a single, colossal snake that stretches from roots to the tip of the tree, long deceased and providing travelers a means to reach the top. Very few travelers will actually follow the snake up the tree, however, due to the aforementioned population of snakes.

Why had the duo decided to travel to such an inhospitable landmark? Why, in pursuit of magical artifacts, of course! Wealth, riches, and the thrill of possibility! Why else would an adventurer do anything?!

So spun was the yarn by Novos to his travelling companion, and with enough patience and dedication, he finally wore her down. Truthfully, Novos had no interest in anything of the sort- he just wanted to see how many snakes he could kill, and how much Experience he could gain. Each point of Experience would bring him closer to his goal: to completely dominate the four he'd clashed with so recently.

"This jerky sucks ass," Novos whined as he continued to devour the dried meat, completely disregarding his own criticisms of the snack. "When are we gonna eat some real food?"

"As soon as we arrive somewhere that you find palatable," replied Remus calmly as she turned another page.

"See, I told you to stop with the bloody fancy talk. What the hell does 'pal ate able' even mean?"

A tension was brewing between the two of them. Despite her limitless patience and understanding, Remus found herself incapable of reasoning with a man- especially a man like Novos- on an empty stomach and after several hours of uninterrupted travel. Novos, who needs no introduction, was always tense and always eager for a fight, be it verbal or physical, and often those that began with the former became that latter around him. One can only imagine how irritable the man becomes while hungry.

"It means that you find its food to your liking," Remus sighed and closed her book, becoming well aware of the fact that she'd be forced to devote her full mental capacity to this conversation. "As we've discussed previously, each settlement we've come through you have deemed unworthy of your time and our finances, and have thusly chosen to ignore any and all eateries for us to replenish ourselves at."

"In Common, thank you very much," Novos spat out a piece of fat that was left in the jerky, his disdain evident for all to see.

"What I mean is," Remus groaned, shocking herself and even Novos a small amount by her ability to be exasperated, which was a first for the two of them since they began traveling together, "you- and you alone- have vetoed every place we could have eaten at since our journey towards Snake Tree began. Now, the day is drawing near its end, and many of the finer locations will be closing for the night. Hence, we are left with few options- beggars cannot be choosers, as the idiom goes."

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"I still don't understand a bloody word you're saying!" Novos stomped his foot and jumped up to glare down at her.

"I mean we have nowhere left to eat, Novos! The time has come for one of us- you, since I must be so specific- to accept what food you're offered from wherever it comes!"

"But all these food joints suck ass!"

"So you said regarding the dried meat you purchased, and yet you still continue to eat it!"

Novos paused raising another bite of jerky into his mouth. "That's because I'm too hungry to not eat it!" He quickly pushed the morsel back into the bag.

"Such is my EXACT POINT!" Remus found herself scoffing, a lifetime first for her. "It is far past time for supper- you must eat, and quickly, with no complaints!"

"But I don't wanna!" with a huff, Novos tossed himself back into the cold metal seat, causing the carriage to rattle with the force. "Everywhere we go, you always order some really nice meal, and I keep ordering chicken skewers, and I always feel like a kid being taken out to eat by his fucking mom!"

Remus sighed, and collected herself. "Nobody is forcing you to order the chicken skewers, Novos."

"But I want chicken skewers!"

"Then eat the chicken skewers!"

"NO!" Novos crossed his arms and turned away from Remus. "I don't want chicken skewers if you're going to eat a really nice meal!"

Catching herself as she raised her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose, Remus stopped, took a deep breath, and attempted to find inner peace.

Inner Peace Check: 999

Remus passes.

"Novos, dear, I will eat chicken skewers with you if it means we can eat for the day. I will eat chicken skewers with you until the day I die if it means you'll eat your fill each day."

"Really?! Yippee!" Novos leapt out of the Caravan, and sprinted into the closest tavern.

Remus felt her blood pressure rise.

"So, Novos," began Remus as she finished a bite of chicken skewer. "What is your plan once we reach the ocean?"

The Mardusian Ocean, which separates the west of the continent of Disglair- the coast formed by Eldenvale, Auhgrens, and Lagos- from the east of the continent of Malaron- the coast formed by Dalamados and Rydelsphere- which the pair had previously ferried across on their voyage to meet the woman at Versal for the first time, was a vast ocean that stretched for over ten thousand miles. The waters of the Mardusian were notoriously fickle, finding a means to remain calm in the most harrowing of storms and to whip to a froth on perfectly sunny days. "Crossing the Mardusian" was a common idiom used among the people of Malaron, and occasionally by those on Disglair, to mean an act that was far harder than it would seem.

"Simple," Novos replied with a full mouth, "we ride the Caravan- the Fuckwagon- across it."

Blinking rapidly, Remus was beyond stunned, and could barely form a thought for a complete thirty seconds. Finally, once she recovered, she began again: "Novos. It's an ocean. With waves."

"We'll ride over the waves, simple as."

"No we will not. The swells of the Mardusian have been known to capsize large galleons- to say nothing of the small craft we will attempt to sail across with. And idea notwithstanding, Novos, have you ever piloted a maritime vessel?"

"Remus, I'm gonna explain this to you slow and easy: I don't know what the words you say mean."

Remus sighed. "Have you ever sailed a boat?"

"Nah, but it can't be that hard, right?"

The skewer in her hand clattered onto the plate below as Remus felt all the strength leave her body.

"Novos," she stuttered, barely able to collect herself, "please, I am begging you, for the sake of both of our survival: let's take a ferry."

"What about the Fuckwagon?"

"I'm certain we can pay a galleon enough to ferry it as well as us across the Mardusian."

"But I don't want a bunch of randoms to be touching all over our Fuckwagon!"

"It will cost extra, but we can hire a private galleon, just for us. And demand that the crew leave the Caravan untouched."

Novos crossed his arms, and thought to himself.

"We still have plenty of money left from the mistress of Versal," Remus continued. "We could certainly part with a small sum of it."

"...Fine," Novos relented.