Chapter 7 – For Guts and Glory

“What are you doing?” Kelly asks.

“Hmm? Ah… Just satisfying my curiosity.” Logan is hunched over a computer terminal in his sofa-sanctuary. His monitor is strategically turned away from Kelly, making her think he is doing something he shouldn't. She takes a step closer, raising one of her eyebrows skeptically.

“It’s that kid, isn’t it? Why are you so interested in him?” She crosses her arms, clearly annoyed at how her boss is rather spending his time on launch day spying on a player rather than doing his actual important job.

A wide smile forms on his lips.

“Of course! He is just too damn interesting! Can you believe it? He chose to play as a goblin without even a second thought! Hah! I love him! The other tier one race players spent far more time manning up to choose one of the lesser races. I bet he places almost all his decisions on his instincts alone, and fills in the rest with good old fashion experience!” He throws his arms wide. Clearly, he has already chosen his favourite.

Kelly lets out a long sigh. She knows Logan can’t be reasoned with when he gets like this.

“He only seems like a normal kid to me. A highly emotional unstable one at that.

Logan massages his temples. “Yeah, he is an emotional wreck. But, let’s be fair. He did go through some really horrifying shit over the last week. I am amazed he is even coping this well. He just needs time. That’s all.”

“If he needs time, then why are you even casting him now? Why not just give him time to heal before the next round starts? If he is as interesting as you say he is, why not personally invite him to join later?”

Logan sighs. “I can’t. There is no guarantee he will be half as interesting then as he is now. The setup for a great show is ideal. He just need a little time. He will get there. Just give him two weeks, tops.”

Kelly frowns. “I don’t like this… He is a liability. Not only did he threaten to murder someone during the interview, but he actually attacked someone before the round started. Why did you let it slide?”

Logan’s smile drops. He tilts his head to the side and stare at the back wall.

“That other kid had it coming…” He mutters.

“That’s not a reason to break the rules. Mister Kenworth threatens to sue us for what happened to his son! He is not someone to take lightly. You can’t just shrug it off like that. It’s not how it works!” Kelly nearly screams. She can’t believe Logan is so oblivious to the world around him. She has spent eight years keeping him out of trouble and she isn’t going to let him muck it all up so close to the finish line.

“Meh, he will let it go. I showed him a recording of the conversation the kids had before the fight.” He says in a very nonchalant way.

Kelly’s eyes widen.

“Did you threaten him!? ARE YOU INSANE!?” She shrieks, her composure finally lost.

“What? No! I just… gave him some exclusive footage of the game contestants before the tapes were automatically sent to A.I. in charge of distributing footage to the world. No biggie. I did him a favour actually. So just relax.” He shrugs, pretending the entire ordeal is a non-issue.

Kelly on the other hand, has a very thick vein on her forehead pulsating menacingly. The technical personnel silently observing them through the glass office wall can’t understand why Logan isn’t shivering in fear at Kelly’s dagger-shooting eyes. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

“That’s basically the same thing!” She yells. She can’t understand how he can be such a short sighted fool.

“What do you want from me? You know as well as I do that the avenger storyline has to keep playing. It’s the most popular one in all the polls.” Logan shouts back, spreading his arms wide. “Just look at these initial numbers! Nearly fifty million people tuned into his stream from the start!”

Kelly shakes in fury. She closes her eyes and starts a count to ten.

She is furious. But she can’t deny Logan is right. There is just too much money depending on this kid. Regardless, she can’t back down now. If she lets Logan go wild and uncontrolled, something terrifying will definitely happen unless she can be there to hold his reins.

She takes a deep breath.

“And when do you plan to tell mister Kenworth that his son is the main culprit of this storyline? Before or after tonight's broadcast?”

Logan’s face goes pale and he looks away. Hardly audible, he mutters.

“Ehrm... I wasn’t going to.”

----------

The surrounding forest is filled with the noise of tools and weapons smashing into anything and everything within range of the tiny goblin tribe. I probably spent an hour just looking at them all scurrying about. I have to walk away in the end though. There are only so many sharp and monotonous sounds I can stomach for one session.

I head towards the southern edge of the pool and find myself a nice smooth rock to sit on next to the waterfall. I let my senses bask in the beauty of my surroundings and drop my shoulders.

Aaah. That’s nice...

These last couple of hours have been incredibly tense. I have been jumping from one major decision to another in a very short timespan. There is just so much to do. I feel as if I haven’t even scratched the surface of my new role and possibilities. No matter. I deserve a little breather.

I spend a little more time watching my little goblins in the distance. It’s much nicer without the noise. I don’t get to enjoy my solitude for long before a lone goblin hobbles over to me. His wooden staff prodding holes in the soft dirt as he walks.

“What’s up Gut? Come to enjoy the scenery?” I chuckle. I can’t imagine the grumpy goblin would be one for reveling at seeing the local sights.

“I would ask you not to leave my side youngling. Although things are calm now, there are many perils out there.” He squints as he scans the surrounding forest.

There he goes again. I can’t figure this guy out. His personality is all over the place! He is either really grumpy and downright rude, or he can be helpful and kinda nice. Am I triggering some of the V.I. scripts the wrong way?

…

I have to talk some more to my advisor. Hell. Who else am I supposed to talk to for a year? My other goblin minions?

I shiver at the thought. The rest of my goblins seem to have a generic personality. Dumb, single minded and single purposed. There is not a trace of intelligence in them. They probably have a very low grade V.I. installed, making them do little else than what they were initially designed to do. I can guarantee they won’t beat any Turing tests anytime soon. I guess it’s just me and good old Gut here for the foreseeable future…

I look over at Gut. He got his back turned to me, carefully observing the surrounding forest. He does seem concerned about my well being, despite his dickish personality.

I sigh.

This is a strategy game. This isn’t a game that is made for a person to single handedly win the game. I need to use all the resources at my disposal. I’m no longer the Solo-Butcher. Gut is my most powerful asset. I need to get him on my side. No matter what.

“Gut…” I have to find out what makes him tick. If I don’t find common ground with him, I will eventually go insane. He can’t be all bad? I have seen glimpses of a likeable guy in there.

...

Damn it. I can’t do it.

I really shouldn’t try to play this one like a game. I just can’t look at him as a string of ones and zeroes. A computer program designed for the sole purpose of being a tool.

I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about just using him. Like some sort of disposable tool. He is more than that. The high end V.I., and A.I.’s these days counts as sentient beings in some countries already, and I have even considered an A.I. my friend in the past. When did I become this cynical? I should just be honest with him.

“Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. I apologize for disrespecting you. I know I can act like an arrogant twat sometimes… and I usually don’t care what people think of me.”

I take a deep breath before I continue. “I am used to being alone and do my own things in my own way. Truth is, I’m good at it. Really good. But that won’t help me here. I can’t build up this tribe alone. Your knowledge has already benefited me and the tribe as a whole greatly, and I have no doubt that with your guidance, our tribe can really grow into something. Something good. And I need you to do this.” My pre planned manipulative speech quickly turns into something far too honest. Djeezes. I’m going out on a whim here really. My head feels strangely light.

The old mage turns slowly. His eyes meet mine. There is no trace of his customary angry growl or condescending look.

“Know this, youngling. A true chieftain should never apologise in such a way to one of his subjects. It shows weakness. A weakness your enemies will take advantage of.” His voice is firm. I can see his eyes harden as he steels his resolve.

“But you show great wisdom in acknowledging your shortcomings. Perhaps I can make a true chieftain of you after all?” A smile forms beneath his hood. He manages to cover his eyes, trying to hide his true emotions. He doesn’t fool me. Beneath that thick layer of grumpy old person lays a decent human… goblin being. I quickly wipe away what is an aspiring tear from the corner of my eye.

“Thank you Gut.”

Silence overcomes us. We just sit there for a while, taking in the sounds of the forest. Bird chimes and crickets can be heard from short distances away, and the sound of the waterfall breaking the surface of the pool is almost hypnotic.

Gut and I just shared a moment. A true and honest moment. I feel great! It feels as if a burden has been lifted from my chest. I didn’t know I held all this in. My head and chest feel as if I can finally breathe and think straight for the first time in years. Who would have thought all I needed to do to find relief would be to pay twenty thousand euros to play a video game with potentially millions of people-

…

Naah. Nobody saw that embarrassing moment. Who would want to watch someone like me with all these celebrities playing? I’m a nobody. Hardly worth the time. Maybe if I survive until the top hundred?

I shrug.

Right. Enough time spent on my ass. No rest for the wicked. What’s next on my list? My goblins are already pretty autonomous. It’s a relief I don’t have to constantly micromanage them. I guess this opens up my time to get stronger.

Speaking of getting stronger… how strong am I?

“I need to ascertain my strengths and capabilities. Do you have any insight?” I ask my advisor.

“Grr… Words of power. Status screen.” He grunts at me. The grunt is far less hostile this time. Yep. I definitely made some progress here. I follow his advice and try to will the blue window to appear. Crossing my fingers it won’t tell me that I don’t meet any god damned requirement.

Status Screen

Name: Greg’lok

Race: Goblin

Tribe: Dark Fangs

Level: 0

Rank: Tribal Leader

Class: Ranger

Stats

Power: 0

Constitution: 0

Commander: 0

Defender: 0

Taskmaster: 0

Craftsmanship: 0

Trainer: 0

Diplomat: 0

Unallocated points: 0

Skills

Class skill (Passive): [Enhanced Aim]

Ranged Mastery: Level 15

-Crossbow Specialization: Level 10

--[Eagle Sight]

--[Long Shot]

Melee Mastery: Level 10

-Dagger Specialization: Level 5

--[Backstab]

Utility Mastery: Level 10

-Tracking: Level 5

-Concealment: Level 5

Equipment

Main Weapon: Tier 3. Crossbow / Iron Bolts (100%)

Secondary Weapon: Tier 2. Bronze Dagger (100%)

Head: None

Chest: Tier 3. Leather Chainmail Tunic (100%)

Legs: Tier 3. Leather Chainmail Pants (100%)

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

Hands: None

Feet: Tier 3. Hardened Leather Boots (100%)

Bag: Tier 2. Utility Belt (4 Slots), Quiver (Iron Bolts)

Items: None

Now we are talking! Some good old juicy information!

I quickly browse through my status, and soon come to a realisation. These stats don’t make any sense! [Commander]? [Taskmaster]? What the hell is this? What happened to the good old Strength and Agility stats? How am I supposed to know what any of this means? And why do I keep asking myself questions when I can just ask Gut?

…

For fucks sake Greg.

“Gut? Can you tell me everything you know about stats? Oh, and also how many stat points I gain per level?” I ask the mage. He seems to have noticed something odd about my behaviour, because he gives me a very concerned look.

I show him my best and brightest smile.

There is no way for me to follow the V.I.’s train of thoughts, but I’m glad he decides to ignore whatever it is.

“Grr… “ He starts. I buckle down for a lengthy speech. “You gain five points per level. The [Power] and the [Constitution] stats…”

“Woah hold on! I don’t need to hear about those two. They seem pretty straight forward. Could you please tell me about the rest?” Ok. I am prepared for a long speech, but there are limits to my patience.

“Grr... Insolent youngling. Fine. The [Commander] and [Defender] stats affect your forces offensive, and defensive capabilities. I’m sure a youngling like you can guess which does what.” He growls. Shit. Guess I shouldn’t have cut his explanation short. Nothing angers an old person more than being denied their pointlessly long explanations. Just like my late grandpa Bill.

“Do you know by how much?” I ask politely. Emergency relationship reparations: Activate.

“Grr… Every level of skill increases their powers by one percent.” He grumbles back. I’m a little surprised. I expected a diffuse answer. Not something as specific as percentages. Having Gut talk of percentages makes him sound way out of character.

Oh well. I’m not complaining!

“Next is the [Taskmaster] and [Craftsmanship]…” He continues. Not giving me a moment to satisfy my inner statistics hunger. “These increases the gathering rate of resources, and the effectiveness of your craftsmen... by one percent each level.” He says that last part after a moment of consideration. I guess he predicted what I was going to ask next. My V.I. mage is intelligent. I wonder how much it would cost me to bring him with me out of the game?

Anyhow. These stats are just as simple and straightforward as the two first ones. One percent increase to effectiveness to specific units. I wonder if they are empire wide or local area? Probably empire wide. I believe.

Clearly reading my facial expression, Gut continues.

“The [Diplomat] stat is different. It allows you to open trade relations with other factions after investing five points. Five points allow you to trade with your own biome, and all bordering biomes. You need to have built a Storehouse or a Granary to use it. Every ten additional points invested expands the radius of available trade partners by another circle of biomes expanding away from your own. Also, every ten invested points allows you to [Subjugate] a defeated player.”

Woah, hold on! Information dump warning! This is a big one. No, not a big one. A huge one! Trading? This game allows me to trade with other players? Damn. I need to consider dumping points into this one. It will really help with my racial lack of prowess when it comes to physical labor. I can sell foraged food and herbs to reap great rewards.

There’s also the ability to subjugate an enemy player that I defeat. I wonder how that works?

“Do you know how [Subjugate] works?”

Gut grumbles lowly. “I don’t.”

…

Well that’s a bummer. I suppose it’s just that kind of thing the developers want you to take a chance at trying? Ten points though… that’s two whole levels! That’s not something to scoff at. I’m going to put a pin in this one. It’s not like subjugation of a faction is going to happen anytime soon.

I nod for Gut to continue his explanation.

“The [Trainer] stat increases the rate of which your troops gain new skills. One percent increase per point.”

Oh? This sounds like a good one. This game doesn’t give me any stats to my units except for skills. This should probably mean their strength is solely based on skills and equipment. Gaining skills and leveling them should be priority number one. I wonder what the ratio between skills and output is?

Proceeding my inquiries to how my skills work, Gut goes into far more detail. He tells me that there are several layers to the skill system and how the individual skills work. Every major skill discipline falls under four general categories. These are called Masteries. They are aptly named [Ranged Mastery], [Melee Mastery], [Spell Mastery] and [Utility Mastery].

Most skills fall within these four categories, except for certain special abilities. For example, my class skill has a passive ability called [Enhanced Aim]. It’s pretty neat. When an ability is passive, it means the ability is always active. It’s like a minor cheat skill to make me more accurate with ranged weapons than other people.

Another neat feature of the Mastery levels is that they increase the skill gain of subskills with a lower level by a hundred percent per five levels below! This makes sense. If an experienced goblin who fights with a dagger for a long time suddenly decides to use a spear, then it would be weird if he wasn’t quicker on the uptake learning a new weapon than a freshly summoned scrub. No?

I have the subskill [Crossbows Specialization] at level ten, with a [Ranged Mastery] at level fifteen. This means I should gain crossbow levels twice as quickly. At least for the next five levels. And that doesn’t even take the leveling of [Bow Specialization] into account! I would learn how to use the bow with a 300 percent boost! My hands are itching at the thought of grinding some skill levels.

Gut further explains to me how every level of skill increases the effect of said skill by one percent. This means with a crossbow specialization at level ten, I do ten percent extra damage. Not bad at all! I wonder how high it can go…

Having ten levels in crossbow specialization also unlocked two active abilities for me to use. According to Gut, every five levels of weapon or spell specialization grants a new skill or spell. I gained the abilities [Eagle Sight] and [Long Shot]. [Eagle Sight] sort of works like a binocular. You know… without the Binocular part. I can zoom in my sight at will, observing distant objects as if they were within the reach of my hand. Pretty neat.

My other active crossbow skill is a little different. [Long Shot] allows me to increase the range I can use my crossbow at. It involves some odd gymnastics where I sit down on the ground, using my feet to steady the crossbow and shooting in long controlled arcs to hit objects further away without losing much precision.

…

No, I can’t really explain that one better.

Oh and I also have a dagger skill, [Backstab]. It allows me to increase my damage done if I hit the enemy in it’s back. It’s simple. I like it.

Looking through my status, I see that I have an even mix of different skills. I have a decent skill using my crossbow, but I also have a series of utility based skills. This must be because of my class. I have five levels in both [Tracking] and [Concealment]. They both seem to be passive abilities, meaning I don’t have to consciously think about them to use them. I doubt I will use tracking much, but the concealment one should be my leveling priority number one!

And I know exactly how I’m going to level it up. A wide grin slowly creeps over my face.

Learning about how skills work puts a lot of things into perspective. Mainly the balance between the [Trainer] stat and the rest. The [Trainer] stat obviously helps my troops get into tip top fighting force quickly, which makes it a strong early choice. Later in the game however, the rate of gaining skill levels should greatly deteriorate. This makes the hard percentage bonus from the [Commander] and [Defender] stat much more valuable to have, since it greatly boosts the power of my strongest units. It’s like the stat equivalent of caffeine.

Hmm. This makes allocating my stat points a much more difficult task than I thought.

“Gut? Is there a way for me to reset my stat points?”

The mage perks up at the sound of my question. A small glint in his eyes shines from under his hood. I guess I hit the question jackpot, because Gut is brimming with pride. Perhaps there is a limiter on the V.I. that prevents it from telling me all the hidden information gems until I ask them of my own volition?

Hell. I’m going to to have a lot of lengthy talks with my advisor over the following days.

“You can indeed, youngling. There is a cost however. To reset your stat points you have to make a sacrifice at an altar. The process will also make you lose one of your already accumulated levels.” He nods sagely.

“Altar?”

“Grr… You will understand when you build one later youngling. No need to rush. Focus on the here and now.” Well I’ll be damned. Gut really loves doing this entire teacher thing, huh?

Whatever floats his boat.

This is a load off my mind however. Knowing I can reallocate my points in the future is a huge safety boon for me. It means I can tailor my stats to my early game, and quickly adapt it when needed if something big goes down.

Too bad I don’t have any stat points. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

So that’s that then. I learned a ton. During Gut’s explanation, we had walked back over to my little goblin tribe. Everyone is still hard at work. The sun has started to set, and my first day in this world should near its end. Nah. There is still a few hours of daylight left.

I want to test out some of my skills!

I look around, trying to decide what I want to do first. I only have ten fighters, and they are still hard at work grinding their own skills. I don’t want to mess up their development, so I guess I have to find something else to do.

My builders are currently hammering away at some pieces of pinewood, raising the first supporting beams to hold up the walls and roof. They haven’t progressed too far, even after a few hours at work. I was hoping the process would be quicker with six of them. I guess I won’t be able to build Rome in a day after all. This project alone will probably take two or three days at this pace.

Shrugging, I notice one of my goblins sitting idly next to the builders. A quick inspect shows it’s my Hauler. Damn. There is nothing for him to haul, is there? Shit. Should have summoned another builder.

“Hey you! Come over here!” I command the idle goblin. He quickly jumps to his feet and scurries over. I am going to train up my skill with my crossbow, and he is just perfect for helping me with this.

Ten minutes later, the preparations are done. I grab my crossbow and run my hand across the stock. It’s a well made crossbow. The wood is smooth to the touch, and a well spun string is nicely tied between the two limbs. I pull back the string and secure it with a metal hook. The wood lets out a small creaking sound as the pressure builds.

I grab a bolt from my quiver and gently place it at the center of my crossbow. I lift the crossbow up to my chin and take aim. I steady my breath. With a twitch of my finger, the bolt releases. It soars through the air and hits the target square in the center with a soft thump.

“WOOH! Did you see that Gut!?” I yell in glee. I didn’t expect to hit so well.

“Grr… younglings these days…” He mutters behind me. What a party pooper. I’m a freaking sniper now! Be aware!

My hauler did a real good job with this one. He carried over a large pile of grass and tied it into a tight ball. Perfect practice target for my crossbow. I can do this all night baby!

My hauler joins me in my cheerful dancing, completely caught up in the moment. I love this guy! Gut stands idly to the side, muttering a few well spirited curses under his breath. I’ll make that old geezer come around eventually. I swear.

With a pat on the shoulder, I dismiss my hauler. I tell him to walk around the settlement and offer to carry things around for anyone who needs it. I’m sure the gatherers or the lumberjacks could use some extra muscle.

My next three hours follow the same pattern.

Aim, release, reload. Aim, release, reload.

I even throw in a couple of [Long Shot]s every now and then just for fun. I don’t use it too often though. Sitting on the ground in this weird yoga position just feels really awkward.

The entire ordeal feels very weird. I repeat the process with much quicker and precise movements than I thought possible. I’m too good at it. Obviously, I’m not a complete novice at using a crossbow in games. The crossbow was one of my main choices of weapons in Yggdrasil Online, and I have fired hundreds of thousands of bolts. The game mechanics in YO weren’t as realistic as in this one though. The YO crossbows pretty much auto reloaded themselves and I could feel the inbuilt system’s auto assist fine tune my movements.

This game is the complete opposite. I have to perform every single action that comes with handling a crossbow, and my hands move as if I have done this for years. How did the developers do this? Did they download this knowledge directly into my brain? Which again also transferred the movements to my muscle memory? I shudder at the thought of how creepy it feels. But it’s still awesome in a way.

Even with the hundred percent boost to skill acquisition however, the process is slow and tedious. I don’t make any progress, and I soon start to dread the thought if it’s even possible to level my skill like this.

…

Should I ask Gut? I look over towards my advisor. His eyes scan the forest, looking for threats. Like a true sentinel.

I decide not to ask him. What if someone is watching? I have to be determined this will work. What sort of fool does the same thing for three hours straight and THEN asks his wikipedia companion if it is possible. I shake my head. Gotta stick to it.

After another hour peppering my grassy target, a blue window removes my budding fear.

Congratulations!

You have gained 1 skill level in [Crossbow Specialization]!

Thank god. Oh holy thank the almighty god above. It is possible! And in only four hours? For such a high level skill? And I even have the hundred percent boost to skill acquisition. Still, this is going to take some time.

I wonder how my fighters are doing? They had no skills, and they have been working for around six hours. Even with no mastery bonus, they should still have gained a level or two. Or so I hope.

I decide to take a break. I discovered a nice little feature with being a ranged unit though. My quiver never empties! I have an unlimited supply of crossbow bolts. The bolts I shoot disappear on their own after about five minutes. So much for making a clutter. I’m happy though. Would be a shame to run out of bolts before I can recruit a fletcher.

I make a few light stretches and place my crossbow back over my shoulder. I start my short trek back to where my fighters are still smacking each other around by the pool. When I reach them, I inspect one of my spear wielding goblins.

Goblin Fighter

Class: None

Specialization: None

Skills:    

Melee Mastery: Level 2

-Spear Specialization: Level 2

Perk: None

Morale: ???

Yes! Two levels to [Melee Mastery] AND [Spear Specialization]! Now that’s a good way to powerlevel my troops! And after only six hours? Imagine what they can do in twelve! Or in actual combat. I can’t wait to test all this out.

I wonder if any of the other contestants bother to train their units like this? It most certainly wasn’t obvious from the start. Some might just have their fighters on guard duty! Hah! Suckers!

I have to step up my crafting game. I need to get them some armor and decent weapons. No point in having a minion with a high skill level with the club if I’m going to give him a sword as soon as I can get my grubby mitts on them. There are so many things I have to do! Not only do I have to focus on their weapon skills, but there should also be plenty of utility based skills like concealment and tracking I need to consider.

No matter. I already decided to focus more heavily on damage output than defence. My main goal is getting their weapon skill to a level that makes them able to win in a fair fight.

The work day is coming to an end. My foragers and hunters are returning from the deep woods, and my lumberjacks and builders lower their tools. The most important part of their day is rapidly approaching.

Dinner!

The mass of goblins all flock around the stockpile of resources. There is a small commotion when the goblins start fighting among themselves. I move over to break it up, but the problem seems to resolve itself without my intervention. The stronger goblins fight off the workers. They grab a piece of cooked meat and head over to the small water to sit near me and Gut. The rest of the workers grab their own food and sit slightly further away.

That’s strange. It seems like they just created some sort of hierarchy or caste system? It must be a peculiarity of the goblin race. Fascinating.

Soon, a small campfire erupts in our midst, and the overall mood starts to rise. The fire grows larger as my goblins feed the fire with small twigs that litter the ground around us. It doesn’t take long until we got a large bonfire going. The whole atmosphere reminds me of a beach party I attended a few years back with some old childhood friends. It’s one of my better memories. It was the first time I drank beer.

Gut and I were the first to be served food, and we currently sit on the nicest tuft of grass that could be found. Gut pulls out a small water skin and hands it to me.

“Here. Looks like you need it youngling.” He says in a gruff voice. I can see traces of a smirk on his lips, although I might be wrong. The light from the bonfire could be playing tricks on me.

I grab the water skin and take a good mouthful out of it.

Bad idea.

It tastes horrendous! My gagging reflex kicks in and I desperately clench my lips together, trying to avoid returning the drink to Gut at mach speed. I eventually manage to settle my throat and swallow. A little of the liquid enters the wrong pipe and a massive coughing fit ensues.

*Cough* “What the fuck was that!?” I shout at Gut.

“That, little youngling, was your reward for not getting us all killed today.” He laughs. Shit. The gremlin can laugh?

“What? If that was a reward, I fear to think about what you consider a punishment.” I shudder.

“Ah, don’t act like such an elf.” He smirks.

“Oh please... I reckon if I were an elf, I wouldn’t have touched that thing with a ten foot long spear.”

“Only if you could lift it!” He roars. I join in.

I have no idea what’s up with this V.I.’s sense of humor, but I like it. We sit around the bonfire for about an hour, passing the wine skin back and forth. I think the wine skin has the same magic function as my quiver, because it never seems to empty.

We pass the time making jokes about elves, pixies, trolls and… pretty much any other race than goblins. If I were to make an educated guess, I’d say Gut is actually quite the racist. But that’s okay when the other guy is clearly a different species… Isn’t it?

Night descends upon us. Light is quickly fading and it’s getting hard to see. The bonfire is still burning, and my goblins are starting to fall asleep around me. My ingame clock says it’s around eleven in the evening. I think I logged into the game at around three. My first day is officially coming to an end. Shit. I can’t believe I might stay in here for a full year. Maybe longer.

This is going to be one hell of a long ride.