Kralterror followed after the little loli, not commenting at all on the proceedings. The butler was fully used to his volatile master’s mood swings.

Arthur and Zoe shared a glance, then followed after them. They left the garden area and finally entered the castle building.

Arthur took his time to observe the place. The front door was a huge engraved piece of sliding crystal. It looked as if some fantasy game designer had a blast with his imagination.

The loli kicked the door lightly and it slid diagonally open. The interior of the place however, wasn’t as majestic. Well, it was. But a few obvious things about it was out of place.

Everywhere, there were toys for girls littered around. The cute posters of various kid’s tv shows and alien K-pop bands made it all the more ridiculous. The pristine walls also had doodles drawn up to the roof by what looked like crayons and permanent markers.

Arthur spotted a grey pony walking upright in a butler uniform. The third butler he’d seen this day counting that firefly.

The ponyman was cleaning the doodles with as much enthusiasm as a death row inmate. It, They? He? gave Arthur a polite neigh, and sluggishly went back to his work.

After walking through a few more hallways, climbing up a few stairs, lifts, and escalators, they finally reached another massive crystal door.

There was a piece of paper clumsily taped on the door frame that said ‘V1L3-PL00M’s Office!’. It was decorated with ribbons and tribal horns.

The little loli opened the door with a kick and ran inside cheerfully. The long walk had apparently helped her curb her grievances.

She took a seat on a swivel chair behind a metallic and crystalline desk. The chair was definitely too big for her, her feet not even reaching the ground. After spinning around a few times, she looked at Zoe gloatingly.

Zoe’s attention was elsewhere though.

The office room was big. No, huge. Half of it was taken up by various futuristic contraptions that Arthur had no clue about, the rest was filled with magical looking contraptions even more alien.

The wall on the opposite side of the door was just a huge glass sheet, and it was showing the same scenes Arthur saw outside. Scenes from some far-out worlds only god knew if they even existed.

After having her fun, the little loli took out an old worn out parchment and a gear shaped key from the desk’s drawer.

She then threw them at the duo miming the sound effects, “Pew! Pew!”

Arthur hurriedly caught the parchment while Zoe caught the key. It was similar to the one his parents left for her. The red gemstone was almost identical, while the gear pattern was slightly different.

However, it at least proved that Tecsov really knew something concerning his missing parents. Arthur sighed in relief.

‘At least this crazy trip isn’t a waste of time.’

“Hmph, so?” Vileplume asked.

“… So, what?” Arthur asked back. The loli confused him no less than Zoe did.

“So, are you gonna say Yes now? You know I don’t have all day. I’m a busy adult, with adult stuff to do.” The little loli replied with a scowl. But for some reason that scowl looked really self-assured.

“You were actually being serious? Before that, you haven’t even explained what this ‘pope’ business even is and all the other hundred things!” Arthur said.

“No, I did. I said you have to become my pope and investigate illegal activities. Along the way, find out what happened to your parents.” The little loli said. “It’s all written on the contract.”

“Again, that isn’t what popes do! Even if they did, can’t you be a bit more specific?” Arthur was still not satisfied at all with that explanation.

“Argh! You ask too many questions. If I say that’s it then that’s it. Why do you have to nitpick everything?” As expected of a little girl. Can’t be patient at all, and randomly throwing tantrums when things get tough.

Arthur was starting to agree with Zoe’s point of view on child education. Just a little.

He sighed and opened the contract. The first thing he noticed was the salary of the ‘pope’. It was even written in bright golden letters at the very top, even above the Tecsov and a ‘Xylnareon’ logo.

His eyes went wide with shock. He double checked it a few times, even checking if there was a sneaky ‘Conditions Apply’ written in tiny fonts somewhere.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Then with conviction, he said, “Yes.”

“What!” Zoe cried out. Surprised at how irresponsible the unemployed neet was. In her mind, Arthur had gone delirious from being fired too many times. So now he was saying yes to any job offered to him because of societal pressure.

“Excuse us for a minute.” Saying that, she dragged Arthur over to the door by his hand. Before Arthur could object, she tightened her grip, threatening to carry out corporal punishment.

Arthur gulped nervously, forgetting his prior objections. The eldritch maiden patiently asked, “What was that?”

Arthur said nothing and just showed her the contract.

The eldritch maiden at first casually glanced at it. Then her eyes also went wide in shock. Her mouth started quivering as she repeatedly tried to verify the authenticity of it. The guarantee by the United Earth Government convinced her. After all, the popular K-dramas always used something similar when contracts were involved.

Arthur heard her muttering with bated breath, “One, two… six, s-so many zeroes! F-Fake, it’s fake! It can’t be real!”

“I can hear you yanno? Don’t you see that UEG (United Earth Government) logo? I know you’ve seen what Hwa Bora did when she signed the contract in ‘365 Days of Marriage’ with Park Sung, right?” The little loli said from her spinning swivel chair.

Zoe reluctantly nodded.

Vileplume smiled, “It’s not fake.”

Then she grinned slyly and snapped her fingers. Arthur heard a notification from his cellphone at the same time.

He took it out. There was a balance recharge message, his phone had just been recharged with five million credits.

His first thoughts were, ‘This place has signal?’

Then he realized what the little loli did.

“What the fark! What’s the use of a five million credit top-up? How am I supposed to spend it? I can’t talk to people for that long! If you gotta pay me then use cold hard back transfers. This doesn’t count!” He yelled out in equal parts shock and frustration.

“Oops!” The little loli blushed. She snapped her fingers again.

Suddenly, her face showed a pondering look. Then, as if something clicked in her brain, she gasped.

The little loli screamed out in glee, “Ehehehe! He said it. He said the F-word!”

“Arthur! You can’t say bad words in front of a little girl.” Zoe pinched his ear till its red.

“Ouch!”

“I’m not a little girl!”

Two separate shrieks sounded from the office room, echoing out into the castle hallways. The ponyman who was still wiping away the doodles on a blue crystal wall looked up, and released a tired neigh.

After a few more minutes of hectic confusion, the room finally calmed down.

Kralterror on the side was preparing some blue tea-like refreshments for the guests.

“Ahem.” Vileplume cleared her throat. “As I was saying, the contract is definitely not a scam. I already paid you, and you already said Yes. So, no take-backsies!”

Arthur, now with a swollen ear, and Zoe, both nodded. He thought for a while before adding, “As long as you pay me properly.”

“Of course. Then let’s get you signed up! Hmm, wait, I need to do this according to protocol.” Saying that, the girl took out a piece of paper and a pair of oversized glasses.

She posed for a bit like a speaker giving a speech. With a few coughs, she spoke,

“Welcome abroad the Xylnareon Divinity family, mortal ID-8-24267000T77 grade terrestrial human classified as ‘Small Mammalian Lifeform’ and unknown sapient space-thing classified as ‘Medium Scyphozoan Lifeform (Temp, Amorphous)’.

You will not regret your choice to join our great inter-world enterprise. We have insurance, paid leaves, time scale promotions, and snacks from all over the known Macroworld!” The small loli proclaimed, puffing her non-existent chest out.

She looked quite proud when reciting all that praise about this Xylnareon whatever.

Arthur had already calmed down. He was too tired to get any more shocks from all the ups and downs anymore.

So, he simply refused to comment on the part where his species ID code was uttered with an added detail of ‘small’.

The most important thing to him right now was that he got a second email earlier. His bank had also been deposited some 5 million UEG credits. If this was his monthly salary, that was enough to buy a sizable property on the moon every month! So whatever the boss said was correct.

Damn right he was a small mammalian lifeform!

Zoe on the other hand was angrily puffing up her definitely not ‘medium’ assets at Vileplume for the perceived insult. Arthur ignored her childish behavior. He asked the important questions, “Xylnareon Divinity?”

“Yup! We are one of the four big bosses of the cosmos. Ahem, let me explain. Our great Divine Establishment spans thousands of universes, protecting them from horrors both real and fantasy.

We have established trade routes, mutual defense treaties, and all sort of other things I don’t remember among the denizens of the stars. Our goal is to help grow into splendid civilizations and promote the spread of sapient life everywhere, forever and ever.

Hehe, I myself was actually in charge of fighting some nasties in this particular area, but I got tricked and died… and… got turned into a… loli.” Vileplume excited tone started tapering off the more she spoke, and at the end her voice turned silent. She went through a few moments of inner turmoil, but with a tired sigh (cute), she continued her explanation,

“As I said before, you remember right? I am a god. THE GOD, or goddess if you want to use the correct gender, of this universe. They make me do sh-, stuff like making sure this world doesn’t crash into others, fall to a heat death, and stop sapient species from wiping themselves and others out.

Civilization Sphere Observatories are the organizations that watches over each individual civilization, under the Civilization Department. We got branches in all sufficiently advanced civilizations around this part of the macroworld.

Cough. Each branch usually only has an Overseer, and all the branches in this universe are connected to my home. Umm, but the Terran branch needs a pope at the helm, which is a level higher than Overseer.

That is, I think it was called pope? Or was it CEO? In any case, it’s basically the guy who investigates illegal activities in my stead and catch criminal masterminds. I think even His godliness the Chairman of the board of Xylnareon Divinity isn’t sure anymore. They kind of got religion mixed up with corporate culture.”

“Again, neither popes nor CEOs are supposed to investigate illegal stuff and catch criminals! That’s what the police are for. Well, you said I would be the pope. Does that mean-”

“You are the new Arch-CEO Police Chief of Tecsov! Congratulations. Now you don’t have to be an unemployed baggage of society anymore.” the little loli proudly exclaimed, as if she was doing him a huge favour.

Arthur was dumbfounded. He started wondering if he should let lose the rabid babysitter on this toxic loli.

“Stop mixing all the terms up! And what do you mean baggage? I call workplace harassment.”