The two followed after the one-eyed butler, walking past gates of the floating castle. Arthur and Zoe were both looking about everywhere in wonder, failing to realize that they had completely let their guard down.

The castle gates led into a vast expanse of gardens, dotted with flowers both familiar and foreign. Crystalline fireflies were floating around the various trees and plants, and the ponds perfectly reflected the low light scenery of the castle premises, creating a mystical vibe.

A curious firefly made its way near the amazed duo, flying around them in soothing motion. Arthur was surprised to see that the fireflies were actually wearing butler uniforms. One of its insectoid limbs was holding a leaf pruner, while another grasped a bag of eco-friendly fertilizer.

The polite bug used one of its appendages to tip its hat at him, then flew away.

Arthur was speechless. He wanted to ask Kralterror about it, but then decided not to. The weirdness was still withing bearable limits. Zoe didn’t seem bothered either. So for now he would just enjoy the silent walk and ask questions later.

Soon, they reached the so called ‘Celestial Garden’ mentioned by the cyclops.

It was a kiddie park. With sand boxes, swings, and even slides. The sandbox was filled with glowing blue sand, the swings had magical runes for ropes, and the slide was made out of clouds. Everything about the garden was celestial.

However, it was still a kiddy park. It even had safety signs for underage children.

There was a small girl, about 7 years old, sipping a pack of juice while absentmindedly playing on the swings. She automatically kicked the ground as the swings reached its lowest point, and mini tornadoes appeared from the sole of her shoes.

The girl was wearing a baggy T-shirt with an eye-catching picture of emo Vileplume (The Pokémon) printed on it. Her magenta eyes were halfway hidden by her long violet hair, looking into the distance as though she hadn’t heard them coming.

“It can’t be…” Arthur said, stopping right outside the entrance to the kiddy park.

Kralterror gave him an affirmative nod, entering the park. Arthur wanted to follow, however Zoe stopped him by the hem of his shirt.

Arthur quirked an eyebrow, but noticed Zoe becoming unnaturally still. A feral gleam coloured her deep turquoise eyes. Her whole body felt like a bullet about to leave the barrel.

Something spooked her, and it spooked her really bad.

Arthur turned his gaze back towards the little girl. The butler didn’t urge the duo to follow him at this point, as he walked right up beside the swings.

The girl suddenly snapped out of her daydreaming with a giant yawn, and gradually stopped the swing. Kralterror waited.

When the swings finally went still, he greeted the girl with a polite bow and whispered something into her ears.

The little loli groaned. Then she jumped off the swings with an ‘umph’, raising up a cloud of blue sand. She dusted her long skirt till she showed a satisfied smile. Finally, waving her tiny hand at the butler, she walked up to the dumbfounded duo.

“Yo.” The girl greeted.

It took a few seconds for Arthur to regain his bearings. Zoe, on the other hand, was intensely glaring at the girl. She was completely silent, but her grip on his shirt tightened. The loli didn’t seem to mind the glare though.

She just gave Zoe a strangely annoying smirk, and that was it.

“H-Hello.” Arthur nervously greeted, not knowing why he was so tense talking with an elementary schooler. Was it the violet hair? Or the Vileplume T-shirt?

In any case, he took a second to calm down.

“I’m Arthur Tullett, and this is my companion, Zoe Modera. We had an appointment with a Miss Vileplume today.” Saying that, he paused. His eyes turning towards the picture on the loli’s T-shirt.

The girl conceitedly nodded a few times, then waved her hand in annoyance. She snapped with a squeaky childlike voice, “No, stop it with the formal shit! I can’t stand another person around here who acts like they have constipation all day. One is enough.”

She gave a long glance at Kralterror. Then continued, “I’m Vi-”

“You shouldn’t say that.” Zoe cut her off. The silent maiden decided now was the time to break out of her animalistic glaring. But her glare turned from hostile to scolding, as she quickly walked up to the little girl.

Zoe grabbed her shoulder and declared with a stern voice, “You can’t say that.”

“W-What the frick?” The girl was flabbergasted. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Again! You need to stop that. A young girl like you shouldn’t say the s-word or the f-word. It’s not right!” Zoe said with double the fervor, as she started shacking the bewildered loli.

‘Ah, right. She was always like that. One time I said the Z-word and she had my parents ground me for a week.’ Arthur couldn’t help but think back to his childhood.

Zoe had the bad habit of concentrating on the wrong thing at the wrong time. And god knows how her brain set up her list of priorities.

Arthur and his cousins went through a lot of grief because of her. Just like what was happening right now.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The mood was completely ruined.

Though unlike the Arthur from back then who could not fight back at all, the girl decided to have none of it.

She pushed Zoe away with a shout, “Damn it! I’m older than all of you adults combined! Don’t look down on me.” She put her hands on her hip and gave the eldritch maiden a very intense and very cute glare. The look on her face coupled with that squeaky voice almost melted Arthur’s heart.

But it did nothing to convince Zoe, the experienced babysitter. Tricks like these, Arthur and his cousins had overused them to death back then. What deception had she already not seen?

Zoe raised her voice slightly and continued to lecture the little loli. The interview itself had not started yet and everything was already off the rails.

Besides, even the little loli went into a strange tempo of defiantly shaking her head and rebutting Zoe’s lectures, completely forgetting about what she wanted to say before.

Arthur pleadingly looked at the silent butler standing beside the swings but got a helpless shake of the head in return.

Therefore, he sighed and decided to interrupt the scene himself, “Okay stop! Time out! Zoe, that’s not what we’re here for.”

He then raised his hands up in apology at the fuming loli. The girl was as red as a tomato at this point. Though Arthur’s submissive pose and soft eye contact managed to calm her down a bit.

Zoe herself relented, but was looking at Vileplume with a concerned expression. It was her OCD acting up again, not being to ignore a child going wayward according to her messed up definition of going wayward.

Vileplume still had some veins popping up on her big forehead. She had already argued for a good fifteen minutes with the abomination about her rights and responsibilities as a loli. Somewhere along the line she actually accepted the fact that she was a little girl now.

This pissed her off even more. She felt tricked by her own underdeveloped brain. The expression on Zoe’s face was also really getting on her nerves. She took some comically deep breaths.

Kralterror, seeing the scene of carnage finally calming down, carefully walked up to her and gently patted her back a few times.

“Calm down, Madam. Everything is going to be fine. Remember why the Chairman sent you to detention here in the first place. It was by your own will. Please calm your temper, we certainly don’t want an extension on your self-imposed punishment. Those charlatans at the headquarters will never let go of a chance like this.” He said.

“I-I know. I-it’s just, this body! It’s so damn small and cute. I should be big and terrible, not tiny and adorable! It doesn’t suit my image!” She sniffed hard a few times, her small face finally couldn’t handle the stress of arguing with an adult and broke down in tears.

“There, there.” Kralterror consoled her. He passed her a bunny patterned napkin and watched the girl as she clumsily tried to wipe away the tears and snot.

Arthur was having trouble holding back his laughter after hearing what the loli said. He struggled and managed to whisper to Zoe, “Pfft, Look! You made her cry! What if they get mad and refuse to cooperate with us? This is why I told you to consult a therapist before! Your OCD is getting worse and worse.”

Zoe denied the accusation and fervently defended herself, “No! You have to be strict on little kids when they are growing up. If you spoil them too much, they will grow up disobedient and naughty. I made the mistake with you and now you can’t even find a job.”

“Hey! That was uncalled for. In the first place, who’s fault do you think that was?”

“You said you wouldn’t blame me! Liar!” Zoe replied defensively.

“I’m not a kid!” Vileplume cried out, interrupting their quarrel. Apparently, the bickering duo didn’t whisper quiet enough.

“R-Rather, than, that. Can you explain why you told us to come here today. Umm, Miss Vileplume, right?

Look, We’re all adults here. We should cut the chitchat and go straight to the point. Enough with this neurotic, don’t listen to what she says. She’s just jealous of your mature looks.” Arthur, the master of changing the topic, finally showed his skill. He noticed how easily swayed the loli was, so threw a cheap shot in the dark.

If the loli really was as dumb as she looked, it would work.

Unsurprisingly, it did.

“Y-Yeah!” Vileplume exclaimed. A small smile returned to her pitifully red face as she crossed her arms with a ‘humph!’,

“L-Let me introduce myself again. I’m V1L3-PL00M Devastator. But you people can call me Vileplume. I’m the current God of this Universe! Arthur Tullett, son of Patrick and Juliet Tullett and victim of Zoe Modera, I select you as my pope! Doth thou agree?”

“… VL3 what? Select a what?” Arthur asked, not at all confused. Just worried about the kid’s mental health.

Zoe mumbled in displeasure, “Was the victim part really necessary?” but managed to hold herself back.

“V1L3-PL00M Devastator! Not VL3, that’s the code for the Interstellar Dragon Crab Exterminators! Don’t get that wrong or else.” Vileplume glared, repeating “Or else I’ll tell VL3!

Also! I said, be my pope. There are some smelly things going on in your planetoid. Smelly illegal things that will affect my end of decade performance assessment. It also concerns your parents and the neurotic beside you. So, when are you going to say yes?”

That got Arthur’s attention. Not the part about being snitched on, but the part about his parents and Zoe. After all, that was why they were here. For any possible clues to find his missing parents.

His expression turned serious as he asked, “Do you… know where they are?”

“Nope.” The girl replied. “And that’s not a Yes. Sheesh. In any case, I can help you find them, I think. I can also cure her of some of the side effects of the primitive ritual she used to gain complete sapience.” The loli then pointed at the puzzled Zoe.

“In return, you both help me by becoming my pope on this civilization. The illegal activities are getting out of f-” Vileplume suddenly felt an intense glare from Zoe. She subconsciously changed her wording, “bloody out of hand. Even me, the god, can’t figure out the causes because of some weird interference.

So, I need you, as my pope, to investigate what is happening on Terra and stop all illegal activities.”

“That’s not what popes do.” Arthur said.

The girl ignored that, pointing at his nose, “You, your parents,” and then she pointed at Zoe again. All this pointing was starting to get on Zoe’s nerves to be honest.

“And finally, you! All the clues I managed to find leads back to you guys. So, are you going to say Yes now?”

“Yes to what?” Arthur asked, puzzled.

“To my previous question! Wanna become a pope? Wait, I forgot. I gotta use the carrot and stick method! Follow me.”

Before anyone could ask any questions, she for some reason punched Arthur’s tummy ‘Ow! That didn’t hurt but what the hell?’ ‘It was the stick!’ and marched off into the direction of the castle front door.

‘So random!’ Arthur thought. His right hand tightly gripping Zoe’s to stop the eldritch maiden from committing child abuse.

Seeing no other choice, he, along with the fuming eldritch, followed after the marching loli and the silent butler.