“You know the plan, Amethyst,” Fey said as the slime hopped into the battle arena.
Amethyst squeaked, sounding bored.
They were now in the seventh match of the preliminary round, Amethyst having scored a series of easy wins using nothing but secreted poisons and potions. Her opponents had been expecting the tactic after watching videos of previous battles, but with her ability to throw poisonous slime with Whip, even attempts to attack from long distance failed to avoid the inevitable stacks of status effects that would cripple and inflict damage at the same time.
(Amethyst was disgruntled because she had not yet been allowed to eviscerate anyone.)
Based on the rampant e-sports betting behind the scenes, the upcoming match heavily favoured Amethyst’s opponent, a fire salamander whose body was composed entirely of elemental flame and therefore naturally immune to poisons. Sirena had naturally placed a bet that would net her several hundred thousand gold if Amethyst won.
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Fey immediately used one of her three allowable consumable items, pouring out a flask of clear liquid onto the arena floor.
Her opponent, a dragonkin warrior, frowned in thought. She could almost see the exact thought running through his head: That can’t be water, can it?
She smirked. “It’s water,” she said loud enough to be heard across the floor.
Amethyst hopped into the puddle with a splash and absorbed it with Osmosis, growing to five times the size.
The opposing salamander, a huge creature as long as Fey with half that again in tail length, opened its mouth and released a torrent of flame that engulfed Amethyst. Even from where Fey stood outside the battle platform, she could feel the searing heat tighten her skin.
As the flames dissipated, Amethyst could be seen, unharmed but steaming slightly. It made the slime look strangely appetizing, like a steamed pudding or dumpling. (Fey reminded herself not to try to eat her pets.)
Activating her King Slime crown, Amethyst began to grow.
Fey tended to find fun synergies in complementary abilities in games she played, but not true physics-breaking exploits. The Osmosis/King Slime crown combination was the sole exception that she had discovered in Fantasia, where the relative size increase from Osmosis carried over into the King Slime transformation, effectively multiplying the amount of water that could be released a hundredfold.
Seeing that Amethyst would survive basic fire attacks, her opponent called out. “Fire Boost, then Firestorm!” A glowing glyph appeared on the salamander’s forehead and the air in the arena began heating up.
Amethyst had now ballooned to five times that of a standard King Slime and towered over the salamander in height, if not length. She looked over at Fey and squeaked. (“Now?”)
Fey made an considering expression. “Mm, maybe wait a bit?” She was starting to become mildly infamous in the tournament for her unfair tactics and anticlimactic matches, and thanks to a combination of a heat resistance potion Amethyst had made for herself and some well-timed release of the water she had absorbed, could probably take dozens of attacks without losing health. “Maybe throw some poison around, make the bettors feel like they know what’s going to happen.”
Amethyst half-heartedly threw some poisonous slime around, which sizzled and evaporated as it came near the salamander, filling the air with a toxic miasma. There was thankfully a magical barrier between the battle area and the spectators or the match would have resulted in many collateral deaths.
The salamander completed its spell, the glyph on its head brightening and shooting up in the air, creating a dome where the temperature shot up and fire magic became more effective. It immediately moved into its next spell, which appeared to conjure multiple fiery tornadoes that would ravage the arena.
Amethyst squeaked. (“Now?”)
Fey looked at the tornadoes until it seemed that they were done growing, huge twisters of fire that towered high in the air. “Now.”
Amethyst shed size and water as she released Osmosis, shrinking down to a standard King Slime size. The amount of water that dripped around her was considerable, but in the heat of the firestorm around her, should have been irrelevant to the battle.
Instead, the water pooled in an ever-enlarging puddle that immediately extinguished any flames that touched it, changing the environment from a fiery oven to a steamy sauna. The salamander threw multiple more spells at Amethyst, but the water seemed unnaturally resistant to boiling off.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
There was a third factor that turned the Osmosis/King slime trick from a minor physics-breaking curiosity to an unfair exploit: Amethyst could absorb enchanted water through Osmosis. The multiplied enchanted water had a hundred times the heat capacity of regular water, smothering the flames as if she had dumped a whole lake into the arena.
Eventually, the water reached the salamander’s feet and it was forced to choose between losing by dying from being extinguished or being disqualified by retreating from the battle area. It chose the latter, crawling off the stone platform to its confused and outraged owner.
The aftermath of the battle was extremely anticlimactic, with the previous fiery effects replaced by what was essentially a very large puddle of slightly warm water. Fey could not help but feel sheepishly apologetic that she had to win by damaging her opponent’s dignity more than their health.
“I didn’t have any other options,” she muttered to herself. “Elementals are basically immune to physical attacks, and Amethyst doesn’t have any actual spells.”
She went to collect her prize, a magical collar that boosted speed. All of the match prizes had been useful pet accessories but most of them assumed that the pet had body parts such as a neck or legs, which meant Amethyst could not use them. The glooms usually had such anatomy, but they were so used to shifting their shapes at will that they had a high chance of any equipment falling off and being lost. As such, the majority of the prizes were going to Boris or being appropriated by Mimi to be sold or traded.
Blade was also enjoying good success in the preliminary matches, with only one loss when Firefly was matched against a turtle that could shoot improbable amounts of water out of its mouth. Based on the rankings to date, Amethyst was going to make it to the final tournament with little trouble and finally be able to display the full extent of her abilities.
***
◊◊◊
Dr. Victoria Lu was an impeccably dressed woman who looked like a clone of Arwyn if Arwyn were full-blooded Asian and fifteen years older. Leander was aware that the age difference was actually over thirty years, but he was hard-pressed to see any obvious signs of age in her face or body.
Arwyn’s mother strode into the hot pot restaurant exactly at noon, spotting Arwyn and Leander at the table they had already occupied and making her way over. Even the way the two walked was eerily similar, a confident stride that dared anyone to get in the way.
Leander stood to greet her, offering a hand. “Dr. Lu, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She shook his hand with exactly the right amount of pressure to feel comforting. “Call me Victoria,” she invited with a smile.
They settled into the booth and proceeded to order platters of ingredients to immerse in their hot pot broth. Leander could see the exact moment where the pair reached the end of their standard order and then tried to figure out how much extra they needed for him.
Arwyn leaned over to him and angled the tablet they were inputting their orders into so he could browse the options. He found himself getting self-conscious about their proximity with Victoria looking at them across the table.
He slowly relaxed as the conversation naturally flowed, with Arwyn doing most of the talking. She relayed her adventures in Fantasia with her typical sense of humour, bundling the story of their relationship into the narrative without putting particular emphasis on it. He found himself taking over the role of immersing the food into the broth and fishing it out when it was cooked. It was not something he had experienced before, such a casual dining experience with people he liked, and having Arwyn and her mother eat what he prepared filled him with an unfamiliar sense of satisfaction.
For her part, Victoria laughed at her daughter’s antics – with commentary that clearly demonstrated a very similar sense of humour – but refrained from making any comments that might be construed as judgement, either positive or negative, on Leander.
“You should play, mom,” Arwyn said after describing the most recent pet tournament. “Since it has sleep immersion, it won’t interfere with work when you’re not on call.”
“I probably will,” Victoria said in a tone that dryly acknowledged the human weakness that would lead her to the same level of game addiction her daughter suffered from.
“So how’s work?” Arwyn asked.
“Oh, the usual. Trying to keep people from dying. You?”
The answer would have taken Leander aback had Arwyn not told him in advance that her mother was a physician, specifically a medical oncologist. He had been warned that Victoria’s sense of humour could become dark at times.
Arwyn gave a similarly flippant answer. “Oh, you know, trying to keep people from being arrested by the CRA.[i]”
Out of everything that Leander had found out about Arwyn, the greatest shock was that her day job was that of an accountant. He had been expecting some kind of unusual career in the arts or sciences, not a mundane desk job stereotyped by a love of order and boring personalities. Upon second reflection, it seemed fitting that she had turned such a common job choice into the biggest surprise.
“How about you, Leander?” The question came from Victoria.
Leander was not particularly gifted at spontaneous humour, but he could follow the pattern the other two had set. “The usual. I sleep a lot.”
He was rewarded for his efforts by Arwyn’s delighted laughter.
“He works in Fantasia,” Arwyn clarified, still giggling.
Victoria’s mirth was not as exuberant as her daughter’s, but her eyes were warm and amused. “Good one.”
They spent nearly three hours at the restaurant, chatting and eating.
The eating was definitely overeating when it came to Arwyn and her mother. “Ugh,” Arwyn groaned, her movements noticeably sluggish. “Why do I do this to myself?”
“Because we can,” Victoria answered, also looking somewhat uncomfortable but not repentant.
Arwyn shot an accusing glance at Leander. He had consumed approximately the same amount of food as her while weighing one and a half times her body weight, so he felt perfectly fine. He did not know how to respond except with an apologetic expression.
Her scowl melted into a smile and she kissed his cheek. “I’m going to the washroom.” She hauled herself to a standing position and made her way across the restaurant.
The jovial atmosphere gradually settled into something quieter, interrupted by the server coming by with the bill. Victoria glared both him and the server into submission as she activated her credit card app to tap the machine. “Person with the highest income pays.”
Leander’s company had extremely generous compensation packages, but much of that came in the form of perks such as free residence and meals at the company campus and stock options, so his base salary was not particularly high. He surrendered and kept his hands away from his wrist devices until the server handed her the receipt.
Battle won, Victoria leaned back in her chair and relaxed.
“Dr. Lu…” Leander ventured.
“Victoria,” she corrected.
“Victoria. Are you not going to interrogate me?”
“What makes you think I haven’t already?”
The question made him think back through the conversation and all of the small details about his life that had come up naturally in conversation.
Victoria smiled at his expression. “I’m not actually that devious, but you’ve told me plenty about yourself. My daughter has excellent taste.”
Leander found himself uncharacteristically blushing, causing her to huff in amusement.
Arwyn returned and took in the scene. “Are you tormenting Leander, mom?”
“No,” Victoria answered in a tone that suggested that she was telling a boldfaced lie. “Oh, I brought this for you.”
Digging into her purse, Victoria pulled out a small stuffed animal on a keychain. Instead of giving it to Arwyn, she dropped it into Leander’s palm.
He examined the creature, a fuzzy white baby seal with big eyes and a cute smile. “Um, thank you.”
Victoria smirked before delivering the line. “It’s a seal of approval.”
(Apparently, the sense of humour is genetic.)
Laughing at her own joke, she stood to leave. “Let’s have dinner sometime. Text me.”
Leander could only watch as Victoria strode out of the restaurant. “She is a medical oncologist?”
“Yup.” Arwyn let the P in the word pop quite audibly. “No one at work understands how weird she really is.”
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[i] The Canada Revenue Agency is responsible for collecting tax revenue and administering tax law in Canada. As far as the author is aware, they do not actually have the power to arrest people.