It had been several weeks since Isabel woke up in Nick’s house, and she hadn’t left the building since. At first it was a trial to stay awake for more than an hour at a time. She was little better than Kent Connelly with the memory pods. When she wasn’t sleeping, she was focusing on the things she needed to do to function and stay alive. Nick and Ellie let her sleep as much as she needed to, only waking her up for food or one of the doctors.

As her strength returned, she found herself with the desire to do more than eat, sleep and defecate. Nick was trying to stay home to help keep her company, but his cases always took him out of the office so he could interview someone, or follow up on an idea, or any one of a hundred small reasons why the case can’t be solved by just reading the file.

Ellie tried to keep her company, but she still had her own desires and was working hard so her work was done in time for her to be with Yafim. Sometimes she even left Isabel alone with a friendly Mr. Handy hovering around trying to repair her clothes or sorting through Nick’s.

Isabel didn’t have any problems with Mr. Handys. She had met enough of them in the Capital Wasteland to know that they had emotions and preferences and they all liked being treated like people. Each one had a slightly different personality, but their personalities all had glaring similarities. Like a group of people from a single vault. She wasn’t sure if she considered them people or not, but she found it easiest to treat them like they were.

This one, who called himself Codsworth, bothered her because she didn’t know where he came from and was unsure what he was doing in the house. The building felt too small to have something like him around regularly, and he seemed to disappear and reappear during her naps. Sometimes she wondered if he was real or if she was just dreaming him up. She remembered talking to Nick about him, but she wasn’t sure if she did or if she just dreamt that.

She wasn’t sure when she started helping Nick out with his cases. She had three conflicting memories, and she wasn’t sure if only two of them were dreams. But somehow as she was awake for longer periods of time, and events that happened when she was awake and events in her dreams were becoming easier to differentiate, she found herself in a routine of spending her waking time helping with Nick’s cases.

During many of the unpredictable moments when she was awake and Nick was gone, she would take a random file and read over it. Sometimes making notes, sometimes just trying to get a feel for the case before exhaustion became too much and she had to sleep again. It was frustrating to return to the case only to find that Nick had taken off with the file while she slept.

Occasionally, she would be awake and find Nick hunched over a file making notes. She was often too afraid to come out of the room to help him. He seemed happy to talk to her and go over notes with her. She always had a thrill of accomplishment when he wrote down what she said or even muttered “I hadn’t thought of that.” But she hated having to feel like she was fighting him just to be allowed to help him. Every time he saw her emerging from his bedroom, he would make sure she had all her physical needs covered. It was almost like there was a checklist in his head that he would go through before treating her like someone worth his time. It was easier to pretend to sleep and wait until he left so she could work on the cases on her own.

One file reminded her of how incapable she was. The type of case that if she could, she would have already run out the door to solve herself. It wasn’t his usual missing person’s case; this one was from a caravan owner who suspected that at least one of his hired guards were selling him out to a raider gang.

Isabel remembered how dangerous it was being a caravan guard. Seemed like it was easier disrupting other people’s lives than helping them live it with the way raiders liked to pick on caravans. She knew some crooked guards over the years, too. Normally they were stupid with their corruption.

They would suddenly be able to afford better armor or weapons than everyone else and buy drinks for everyone. She had even had more than one confess to her what they were doing. Some wanted out, but didn’t know how, others just wanted that one big payment so they could leave caravans altogether. They all started innocently thinking they deserved more, they all found themselves unable to stop because they could never get enough caps to afford to stop.

She made notes on how she had figured out crooked guards in the past. She left out the part how she wanted to get the suspects to talk to her. She never understood why, but people have always told her their deepest secrets. She suspected it was because people felt safe giving their secrets to a stranger. Someone who would silently walk away with that guilt without any repercussion to the confessor. Usually she allowed that, but not if lives were at stake.

Isabel was focused on the case and didn’t hear the key in the door. Nick and Ellie were careful to keep the door locked when Isabel was alone. The last thing they needed was for someone who knew she was supposed to be barely conscience to find her moving around with a cane. Adrenaline coursed through her as the door open, causing her to look up in panic.

Nick stood in the doorway. “It’s okay, it’s only me, Doll,” he insisted before sliding into the office and closing the door behind him and locking it in case someone needed to come in while she was sitting at his desk.

“Sorry,” she said. “I should be more careful.”

“What do you have there?” he asked pointing at the file with his chin.

“Nothing,” she said closing the file and putting on top of his “in pile”. “Just trying to do something to help out. That’s all. I’ll get out of your way.” She reached for her cane.

“Did you eat? Are you hungry?” Nick asked somehow not seeing the empty ceramic bowl sitting on the desk next to where the file was. Maybe he had seen her leave so many around the office he didn’t see them anymore.

“I’m fine,” she said as she pushed herself up with the cane and the desk.

“Are you tired, do you need to sleep?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Nick, I’m just trying to get out of your way.”

“Do you need something to drink? How is our purified water stock?”

“Nick! I said I’m fine!” she snapped.

The monster was tired of sleeping, it woke up and was roaring through her.

“Why can’t you just accept what I say when I say it?” She screamed. “Why do you hover over me like I’m some incapable idiot who can’t even swallow without choking on her own tongue? I know how to eat a goddamn bowl of noodles! I want to come out of the bedroom once in a while without having to check if I need to shit first! I just want to do something when I’m awake, and not have it disappear all the time! Go to Hell!”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Nick just stood there looking placidly at her.

She was used to having people yell back at her. She stood there, the monster clawing for a purchase, but with nothing to hold onto slid back and away.

“Why aren’t you yelling?” She asked pathetically trying to get the anger to yell, trying to help the monster make itself known.

“Because you’re right,” he said calmly.

He moved around her and sat in his chair. He then gently played with her skirt, pulling her towards him before grabbing her hips and helping her onto his lap ordering her to “come here”. He was still a synth, with legs that were just thick enough to hold his weight, she had to adjust to where she could sit comfortably on them before he put her cane against his desk, just inside her reach.

“Do you feel better?” he asked, brushing the short hair at her temple before wrapping his arms around her torso.

She thought for a moment, the monster had slid away, leaving nothing but an emptiness where it normally paced. The sensation was disturbing and all she wanted to do was call it back and fill in that emptiness. She tried holding on to her anger, but there was too much emptiness.

“No,” she said, laying her head on Nick’s shoulder. She could smell the mildew on his clothes, he must have gone somewhere damp. The smell of cigarettes was gone. Did he get his clothes clean? She often found her allergies triggered even when she couldn’t smell the cigarettes, it just meant she could enjoy the closeness longer.

More of her anger vanished as she sat there. She didn’t realize before how comfortable she was in her anger, the emptiness she was finding always scared her. Even in Nick’s arms she was frightened like a pathetic child.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said trying to alleviate the guilt that always followed the anger.

“What is there to be sorry for?” Nick asked.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. This is your home, and I am just a guest and…”

“Stop,” he ordered. He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “First, you are not just a guest. You are my partner.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he gently placed a finger on it silencing her.

“Just because you are recovering, doesn’t make you any less my partner. You’ve been helping me out a lot. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much lately. Believe me, Darling, there is nothing I would love more than to stay here all the time with you. But every time I come home and open a new case; you’ve made so many good notes that I have nothing left to do but some cursory fieldwork.”

“I thought you were trying to hint you didn’t want me in your cases,” she confessed.

His smile was so gentle, as well as the kiss he placed on the bridge of her nose. “Just the opposite. Cases can’t be solved without some fieldwork, but you do everything that needs to be done in the office short of closing the case. I don’t want you spinning your wheels working on a case that cannot be fully solved in the office. When you start feeling better, I do want to start brainstorming with you on these cases. I think it’ll help me to know what you were thinking when you wrote out your notes.” He gently squeezed her, “and I would love to see more of you.”

“Wake me up when you’re home, and we can talk.”

“I want you to focus on getting better. I would rather have you alive and healthy. If I don’t get to see you, well, that’s my sacrifice.”

She decided not to force him to make that sacrifice anymore. She did like seeing him, and he did make her feel smart when they talked. Then, the barrage of questions came to her mind again. She just didn’t want to deal with them again. She lowered her head, nuzzling the skin on his neck.

She felt him stroking the back of her head. “That’s not the whole problem, is it?” He asked.

She shook her head into his neck.

He gently squeezed her again. “You weren’t yelling about the case files; you were yelling about how I was treating you. Instead, I focused on what was bothering me. How long has this been bothering you?”

Isabel tried to pinpoint the moment it started bothering her. She wasn’t sure when, or why. She had troubles figuring out what exactly was bothering her. The more she thought about it, the harder it became to focus on. All she was sure of at that moment was that she yelled at Nick over something that was small and stupid. He cared about her, of course he wanted to make sure she was okay. She should just accept his consideration and not complain about it. She was being a child, and now was begging for comfort like a child instead of acting like a levelheaded adult.

“It’s stupid, I’m sorry,” she told him.

“No,” he said, “if you yelled at me like that, it was something that has been bothering you for a while.”

“It was nice at first, having someone care about me. But it just started getting to me. Like my ability to take care of myself was being questioned.”

“I see,” he replied softly. “I guess I hadn’t been paying attention to how well you have been improving, and that’s my fault.” He chuckled slightly squeezing her shoulders again, “some detective I am.”

She didn’t respond, she hated the emptiness. She kept forgetting what it felt like, but it always made her want to hide in it when she couldn’t fill it with her anger.

“Look, Isabel,” he said softly. “I understand you’re not used to paying attention to how you feel about things, but that’s not going to make those emotions go away. I want you to promise me that if you start noticing that you don’t like something I’m doing, like asking you about your health too much, let me know. I’m not going to stop worrying about you, but we can work something out. Either way, I may be many things, but I’m not a mind reader. I won’t know how you’re feeling unless you tell me.”

“Okay,” she agreed quickly. Then a quiet realization hit her. She lifted up her head, making eye contact again, “Problem is, I don’t always know what I’m feeling. I just do things, and suddenly, I’m yelling at you. Normally I find it easier to just leave some place until I can deal with things again.”

He leaned down his head and kissed her lips. She let him, kissing him back until he broke contact. “It’s okay, Honey. That takes practice. As long as you’re here, this is your home, and I don’t want to drive you out. It’s okay if you wait a day or two to tell me if something is bothering you, I promise I will listen.”

“I’ll try,” was all she could promise. She laid her head down on his shoulder again, the calmness of being in his arms overpowered the guilt from yelling at him. “Why do you put up with me, Nick?”

Nick took her hand and gently kissed the palm of it. “You’re prettier than Hancock,” he quipped.

The calmness and the guilt kept Isabel quiet. She didn’t want the moment to end, she just wanted to stay in Nick’s arms.

“Have you ever played Atomic Blast?” He suddenly asked.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Nick helped Isabel stand up while standing up himself. “You need a distraction,” he explained. “I think Atomic Blast will give you something to focus on that isn’t one of the problems we just talked about.”

“What about your cases?”

He took her face in his hands and looked down at her. “Sweetheart, there is always another case to close,” he said slowly. “You have helped me out so much that I can take a night off without falling behind. At least, any more than usual. You’re awake, and I’m home, tonight is going to be about us.” He leaned down and kissed her mouth. “I promise. I’m going to get a copy of the game. I think I saw one in your apartment; I’ll be right back.”

She felt a fluttering going through the emptiness, something else was there, she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. She wasn’t sure how Nick could handle being around her after she yelled at him. Maybe, he really did like having her around. She decided to experiment and try something she rarely dared to do.

“Nick, while you’re out, would you mind getting me some nuka-cola?”

He smiled at her, almost like she promised to get some for him. She wasn’t sure if he understood her for a moment. “Anything you want, Doll,” he promised before walking out the door.

She sat down at his chair, trying to figure out what just happened. Nothing happened as she had expected. She thought he would hate her. He was supposed to yell at her and kicked her out maybe with threats of violence being tossed between them and possessions getting destroyed. Instead, they are going to play a boardgame together. She was confused about how Nick dealt with her overreaction. Isabel explored that emptiness inside her, and somehow it didn’t seem as big as it normally did after she lost her temper.

She wasn’t sure what happened, but she was sure she liked being near Nick. She was glad he could forgive her stupidity so easily.