My idea to save Juliet a seat worked out perfectly, so perfect that we ended up in a conversation. Surprisingly, I welcomed the encounter. Talking to her just seemed so natural, and although we were in class, I didn't want our chat to stop. It wasn't until she gave me a compliment that I froze, and shut down. She told me I was “admirable” because I was so passionate about computer programming... No one had ever said that to me before.
I was being so stupid! I completely ignored her the rest of class, and then after class all I gave her was an awkward smile! Could I really be that hopeless?! Was it too late to go back…? Of course it was too late to go back! Why would I even think of—my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a soft chime. Someone had sent me a text. I took my phone out of my pocket, and checked the screen. Calinida had texted me.
Hey, hope class was good. Sorry about this, but I've got lunch plans. See you later?
She bailed on me?! I could feel the tingling sensation traveling up my back. My anxiety was kicking in, and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down before it got out of control. I couldn't be upset with Calinida for being who she was... However, I could be upset at myself! I hadn't done a thing to change my social habits! I mean, I guess it was okay for now, since it had only been a week… But still, I had to do better.
Yeah… See you later. 🙂
I sent my reply, making sure to add a smiling emoji at the end so she wouldn't know I was upset. If she knew I was, she'd cancel her plans, and I would feel guilty. That's just who she was; she always had my back, no matter what.
I bravely made my way to the Dining Hall alone. It wasn't like I hadn't done it before, so I wasn't too uncomfortable. I felt like eating pizza, therefore I went straight to A Slice Of Italy, that was the name of the shop that made pizzas. However, this shop also made pasta dishes such as baked ziti, spaghetti and meatballs, spaghetti with marinara sauce; stuff like that.
I got in line, and waited my turn. By the time I got to the counter, my stomach was growling. I ordered two slices of pepperoni, then moved down the line to the pick up spot. While I waited for my food, I thought about this weekend.
If I was being honest, as much as it pained me to say it, I was looking forward to seeing my family's faces. It had been almost two weeks, and I still hadn't made any friends. I was really hoping that seeing my parents, my aunt, my uncle, and my younger cousins would make me feel a little better.
I heard a guy from behind the pick up counter call out my last name, and I stepped up. I guess my food was done already. The man handed me a pizza box as he smiled, and I shyly took it from him.
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“Thank you for choosing A Slice Of Italy, have a great day!” the man told me.
I gave him a weak smile, “Thanks.”
I walked off feeling like I was in the spotlight. That employee was extremely chipper. Shockingly, I didn't have a panic attack from worrying about who was staring at me. Seriously, how was I going to make friends here? I sighed to myself, knowing my goal wasn't going to be easy to achieve. But I swore to myself I wouldn't give up.
After lunch, I went to Physics class, and after class I went back to my room. Calinida wouldn't be done with classes until closer to dinner time, so it was just me by myself for a few hours. I did my homework, which took up a big chunk of time. Actually, I had just finished it when Calinida walked through the door.
“Hey Lovebug!” she greeted me.
“Hey,” I replied.
She started unloading her stuff as she continued to chat with me.
“How was your day? Did you eat dinner yet?” she asked.
“My day was… meh,” I told her. “And no, I didn't eat yet. I've been doing my homework all this time.”
“Great!” she declared.
I raised an eyebrow at her, and she giggled.
“Not great that you had so much homework, I mean at least it's done now, right?”
I shrugged, and nodded in agreement.
“I said great because I figured I'd make up for lunch today by having dinner with you,” Calinida stated. “How about it?”
“Cool. I'm starting to get hungry anyway,” I answered.
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Tuesday went by… Wednesday went by… It was getting closer and closer to the weekend and I was still having mixed emotions. I missed my parents, but I also knew they would get on my case about not being more social. I wish I could have been more assertive with Juliet on Monday! Then, it occurred to me, I might see her this weekend…! Oh, shit!
My eyes flew open; it was Wednesday evening, and currently, I was taking a break from doing homework. I was laying on my back on top of bed, listening to music, when I realized I might see Juliet at the events that weekend. What was I going to do?! Should I dress up?! Should I do more, and go into the unknown world of… makeup?! Wait… Let’s say I did do all of that, what about the talking part…! Would I even be able to make conversation with her?!
All of these questions stirred up my anxiety. I sat up quickly, and snatched my headphones out of my ears. I had two days to figure out a plan! Maybe I should talk to Calinida about it. I thought it over for a moment, and decided I would. I paused my music, then opened up my messages, and quickly sent her a text.
Hey, need to ask for advice. When will you be back?