My first semester was finally coming to an end, and I couldn't wait to go home! However, there were also finals, and end of the semester projects due, which was going to be HELL! Thankfully, only one of my class professors wanted a final project, and the others were preparing for final exams.
Besides going home and finals, the other thing that was stuck in my mind was that I wouldn't be seeing Juliet for two weeks! I'd gotten so used to being able to see whenever I wanted that I was spoiled now! Being away from here was the only downside to the holiday break.
I was stressed about Juliet, so stressed that I couldn't focus on studying for finals. And not being able to focus on something that important in relation to school, was a trigger on its own! I was anxious to the max! It was finals week now, and I hadn't studied for anything!
Up until now, I wasn't slacking off, I mean not really! Maybe I had slacked off a little, but I never imagined I'd be brain dead at a time like this! The finals counted the most toward my semester grades! I had been so busy hanging out and having sex with Juliet that I just… I forgot about my priorities.
It was difficult to admit…but I had to take a break from her, despite not wanting to. And when I say "take a break" I only mean until finals are done. I would never end my relationship with Juliet because I loved her. I truly did and that scared me, but at the same time I wanted to embrace my feelings.
The first step was figuring out how I was going to tell her. I was honestly worried that as soon as I was face to face with her, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. Seeing those blue eyes of hers made me melt.
I immediately thought about Calinida; I needed advice and she was the perfect person, as usual. My cousin wasn't in our dorm at the moment, so I called her cell phone. She answered after a few rings.
"Hey, Lovebug! Sorry it took me so long to answer, doing a project. What's up?"
"Cali! I need advice!"
"On what?"
Despite my frantic tone, my cousin stayed totally calm.
"If I don't take a break from hanging out with Juliet, I'm going to fail my tests!" I rambled. "How do I tell her we need time apart?!"
Calinida sighed into the phone.
"Naomi, I have to be honest, your situation is tough. My initial thought is to just be honest, but I also know that honesty can hurt some people's feelings…"
I was crushed.
"You're no help at all!" I blurted out.
"Sorry! I don't know what else to say! I mean, you can't lie to her, and you can't just not talk to her, so what else is there?!"
I hated that my cousin was absolutely right. I sighed.
"I'll see you tonight…" I told her, completely deflated.
Calinida apologized again before hanging up the phone. I held my cell phone in my hands, totally distracted by my pain in the ass situation. I had to decide if I was going to face Juliet in person, or over the phone.
I paced back and forth for a while, trying to make up my mind. Finally, I decided that I would talk to her in person. It would be stupid of me to try and have such a serious conversation over the phone. I texted Juliet to let her know I was coming over, then I got dressed and headed to her dorm.
Once I got to her door, I knocked a few times. When Juliet opened the door for me, she wore a big smile on her face. Seeing how happy she was made me feel even worse! She must have noticed my facial expression because her smile faded quickly.
"Are you okay? Did something happen?" she asked.
"Not exactly…" I muttered and walked past her.
Juliet shut the door before coming over to stand in front of me.
"Tell me…" she said.
I bit my lip. "We should take a break…"
"A break?"
I gave her a small nod.
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“What? But why?” Juliet asked.
"Well…" I began. I hesitated before speaking again. "I can't focus on studying, and I don't want to fail the finals!"
“So I’m just a distraction to you?"
My heart stopped. I knew this was going to be an epic FAIL on my part.
"No!" I blurted quickly. "No, that's not what I mean… Of course you're more than just a distraction! But I can't afford to tank the exams..."
“So I’m a hindrance?! I hinder your ability to study!”
How could I fix this?! I could barely keep my thoughts straight, and the conversation was going in the completely wrong direction!
"I guess—"
Juliet was in tears. “Fine! If I’m such a hindrance to you, then you won’t ever have to see me again…”
This was not how I wanted this to go! My heart was breaking! I gently grabbed both of her arms.
"Wh-What?! No! It's just—! I just need a little time…until finals are done! I thought…I thought you'd understand…"
She backed away from me.
“You make it sound like I’m holding you back…! That I wouldn’t respect your boundaries during exams…!"
My emotions were spiraling, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes.
"Juliet… I never meant to hurt you…I'm sorry I suck with talking! I don't want us to break up…! I couldn't take it!"
“Then maybe you should get your shit together and realize the kind of person I am… Please just…just leave…”
I was shocked! She wanted me to…leave?!
"But Juliet!"
“Just go… You hurt me and I don’t want to talk to you anymore right now… I’d never hold you back, Naomi… And I’m hurt that you thought that about me…that I’m a distraction and a burden to you. So please…go…”
I was at a loss for words. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. Something in me snapped and I got pissed.
"Fine! I'll be the bad guy! Sorry that I want to pass my first semester in college! Sorry that I can't handle studying and spending time with you! I'm sorry!" I shouted.
Her eyes were wide with surprise. I stormed out of her room without looking back, and went back to my own dorm.
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Four days had passed, and I still hadn't been in contact with Juliet… The argument we had was intense, and on top of that, it was the first time that we'd ever argued! In fact, four days ago was the first time we even got mad at each other!
So many things ran through my head, and yet, pride is what kept me from reaching out to Juliet first. I did my best to keep my emotions at bay because I still had to study! I was convinced that my plan to take some time off from Juliet only backfired because now I was utterly emotional, and still couldn't concentrate on studying!
It was early afternoon, and at the moment I was taking a break from attempting to study. I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling trying not to cry…but a few tears rolled down my cheeks. A moment later my phone started ringing; when I looked at the screen my heart stopped.
I answered quickly, so quickly I almost dropped my phone!
"Hello?!"
"Hey, Naomi…"
Her melodic voice was full of anguish.
"Juliet! H-Hey! How…how have you been?"
"Naomi, I…"
Her pause was short, but my heart was in overdrive! I was so nervous and anxious about what she'd say!
"I really miss you! And I'm so sorry for everything! Please, I—! I just need to see you!"
More tears fell from my eyes, but they were happy tears.
"I miss you too!" I blurted. "Yes, please! Let's meet right now!"
Juliet chuckled softly into the phone.
"I'm outside your door…"
I looked at the door briefly before jumping off my bed and rushing over to it. I opened it, and sure enough she was standing there… Her hair was down, and her eyes were glistening. She looked as ethereal as ever, taking my breath away.
She hung up her phone, then I hung up mine before she embraced me tightly. She had her arms wrapped around my neck, and I felt hot liquid on my neck…she was crying! I hugged her back, squeezing her with all my might, and buried my face in the crook of her neck.
"I love you, and I'm so sorry," I told her.
We pulled away and she smiled.
"I love you too, Naomi. So much."
We spent the rest of the day talking about our feelings and the argument. We ended up coming up with a schedule for us so that we could still visit with each other, but also get studying time in. And it worked out perfectly!
I typically didn't like to use that word…'perfect'...because nothing was perfect, was it? But it truly felt like it, it felt like my life was on the verge of perfection. Everything that I'd gone through the past few months brought me here, to this very moment.
And I had never been happier!