--- Mia ---
They were racing through the streets of Plutocore, the capital of Mammontum, to save Mia's friends and family, who were almost certainly being targeted by the government by now. She talked to Tom while running. Purrians had enough endurance and general fitness that this presented no real strain to her.
"It's a good thing you have that armor. You are in human form right now since you dropped your Purrian disguise, but that armor covers most of you, so you look just like any other humanoid species, nyaa."
Except for being incredibly hot, she chose not to say out loud.
"Yeah, what's up with that anyway?" Tom asked.
"What's up with what, nyaa?"
"Why do all the species look so similar?" Tom asked. "And why do you all have such similar cultures? It's so weird."
"Well, all humanoid species were created by the Precursors. That’s where the similarities come from. How do you not know that?"
"Not knowing things and just going with the flow is kind of my thing?" Tom replied.
That was fair. Mia did not know what she was expecting.
"Anyway, what's a Precursor? No wait. Don't answer that. Let me guess. It's a mysterious, long dead race that left behind ancient technology that sometimes does awesome stuff that contradicts everything you thought you knew about science."
"That's not what I would focus on, but basically yes. How did you know, nyaa?" Mia asked, impressed with how quickly Tom had deduced the nature of a species he allegedly knew nothing about.
"Oh, I have played that game before. It doesn't seem very original."
"Original? Tom, the universe does not need to be original. It simply is, nyaa!" She responded in exasperation.
Tom shrugged. "Let's agree to disagree on that. But I guess it makes sense. It strains the probability fields less if there is just one weird species than if there are hundreds that all happen to be weird in the same way."
"Wait. If you humans are so powerful, you should have learned about the Precursors from your own history long ago. Unless something terrible happened in the past that hid your history from you!"
"Don’t worry, that isn’t it. We weren’t created by the Precursors, but evolved on our own. We have fossil records going back very far, so we know what species we evolved from."
Then he suddenly got a thoughtful look. "Well, actually come to think of it, I guess it could turn out that we humans were created by Precursors after all and I didn't know because I'm a moron? Maybe that is what the two of us are missing that is so funny to the subscribers?
“Except that I just said that out loud and FEI didn't comment on it, so that's probably not it. I would have expected to get an achievement if I figured it out. So I'm guessing humanity wasn't created by those Precursors of yours."
"But that raises so many questions, nyaa! Every humanoid species has a history that goes back around twenty thousand years, and nothing before that. There are shared genetic markers! There are similarities in religious scripts! Some planets even have ancient ruins left behind by the Precursors. They are treasure troves of knowledge, except that they usually self-destruct when people try to break in, so doing that is illegal by galactic law."
"That sounds awesome! We can go dungeon-delving there later!"
She sighed in frustration. She was talking about a scientific impossibility, and he was treating this like a videogame.
How could humans look so similar to Purrians if they weren't created by the Precursors, like everyone else? It didn't make any sense. Evolution did not work like that.
She had far too many questions, and now was not the right time. She needed to prioritize, and she decided to use Tom's inane comment about dungeon-delving as segue.
"I'm going to need to level up a good bit before I'm ready for that. But more urgently, I think I need to get ready for whatever we will find when we get to my commune, nyaa."
"You are right. Let's focus on that. Do you want some advice?"
"Yes, please! Nyaa!"
Tom might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he had a lot more experience with FEI bullshit than her.
"What's your class, actually?" She asked him.
It could be relevant for her to know this before she started optimizing her own build. But really, she was just curious to know what kind of class gave him the ability to punch the earth into swords and armor.
"I'm a muscle wizard with a crafting focus." Tom replied. "It's very versatile and fun. I can punch the laws of physics into alignment. Like so:"
Then he pulled out the Wand of Polymorph that he had used earlier in the evening to save her life, and began repeatedly smacking it against his armor.
"Percussive maintenance is so much more fun for recharging magic items than performing boring old rituals. Just a few minutes of this and the wand will be good as new.
"Anyway, you mentioned you are a Nekomancer?" He asked, and just barely stopped himself from laughing as he said her class's name.
"I'm going to guess that's a summoner class?"
"Yes. Summoning and support, nyaa."
She found it odd that he could tell, given his ignorance about pretty much everything else, but she didn't want to interrupt.
"Then you should probably focus on leveling up your intelligence. You get some stat points with every level up, and you can use those to increase your mental or physical attributes. I have used all of mine only on physical attributes. Mostly strength and constitution, because muscle-wizardry depends on those."
Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
She had no trouble believing that he only spent his attribute points on physical attributes.
"How does increasing intelligence actually work, though? I mean, in a game it's just a number and doesn't really make you smarter. But if I increase my 'intelligence stat' in real life, what actually happens to me?"
"I have no idea. I suppose if you increase your INT enough, you could figure out what happens when you increase your INT?"
"That sounds logical, but not very helpful, because by then it will be too late. What if it alters my personality and I only find out afterwards?"
"I wouldn't worry about that. Altering your personality like that without consent is super illegal. The System designers wouldn't do something like that. Besides, I lost a whole bunch of INT when I took mortal form and made this body, and I still feel like myself."
When he took mortal form, he said. And he said it so casually, like it was no big deal. Humans were scary.
"In that case I will go ahead and put all my stat points in INT now, nyaa." She replied.
She instructed FEI to do just that, and braced herself for enlightenment.
Your INT has increased!
...
That was it?
She didn't feel any different.
...but maybe that was the point? If she immediately felt different, that would suggest that the change was pretty extreme, and could have altered her personality.
She wondered if she would have been smart enough to realize this before she boosted her INT. She probably would have, but she wasn't sure.
"All done?" Tom asked.
"Yes."
"Then we should get you a weapon next, so that you can defend yourself the next time you are attacked. You won't always be able to rely on your abilities, after all. I can make one for you, if you want?"
"Yes, please, nyaa!" She had never used a weapon before, but in her current situation it just felt like common sense to have one. She just hoped she would learn to use it quickly.
"Cool. So, what kind of sword do you want?"
"...can I also have something other than a sword? Can you make a gun? Or is that too complicated?"
Tom looked taken aback, like he never considered the possibility before. "I can make guns. But why would you want one? Swords are cooler. I can even set them on fire to make them extra cool. You can't do that with guns. Guns that are on fire don't look cooler, they just look broken."
This was going to be a hard sell, but she hoped Tom would see reason: "I have never used a sword before! What if I stab myself? Guns are just 'point and click'. They are much easier to learn."
Tom looked at her for a solid five seconds and she could virtually see the neurons fire in his brain before he responded: "I have never thought about it like that, but that makes sense. Stabbing yourself is not cool at all. Oh! I just had an idea! You are going to love this! Give me a minute!"
Then he stopped running and started flexing. His muscles bulged, he started screaming at the air for no reason, and after a few seconds of that he began glowing like some kind of powerup sequence in a videogame. Then he punched the ground with an earth shattering blow.
A perfectly square hole appeared in the earth. He reached in and retrieved a gun.
It looked like a real military weapon, but all the details Mia could tell about it was that it looked big. Kate could probably have rattled off its make and model, assuming that this thing really was based on a real weapon. She was kind of a nerd like that.
"Here you go! Go ahead and try it out on that wall over there!" Tom said as he handed her the weapon.
"Thank you! Nyaa!" She said as she accepted the gift.
She took aim and tried to remember all she knew about how guns worked in real life. It was important to brace yourself so you wouldn't get hurt by the recoil, wasn't it?
She asked Tom, but he just shrugged and said to do what comes naturally, so she did.
She squeezed the trigger and prepared for a deafening sound and a lot of kickback.
Neither of those things happened.
Instead, when she squeezed the trigger, an enormous broadsword materialized in front of the gun's muzzle and shot at the wall at frightening speeds. The sword embedded itself into the concrete with a resounding clang.
"It's a sword gun!" Tom announced. "That way you can have the convenience of a gun and the awesomeness of a sword, all in one weapon! You can also change the kind of sword it fires. You can even load incendiary ammo into it, to make it fire flaming swords instead of regular swords!"
She wasn't sure what to think. She was not, personally, super enthusiastic about flaming swords and would have preferred just a regular gun. But Tom clearly meant well and he kept insisting that swords are cool.
Maybe it was a human thing? Humans looked very similar to Purrians and so she had just kind of subconsciously assumed that all of their cultural norms would be similar, too. But maybe they just liked swords a lot for some reason, and so using a sword gun would make her more popular, and therefore more powerful?
She briefly wondered if there were any other cultural differences between them that she hadn't noticed, yet. But then she realized that she was getting distracted.
There were more urgent matters to discuss!
"Do you think it will be enough?" She asked nervously. "What if there are too many people there? There are just the two of us, and I don't even know how to fight!
"Can other humans show up to help? So many people are watching us, can any of them help?"
"I'm afraid not. Nobody powerful will be coming to save you. Only people like me. And I might actually be the only celebrity in the sector until Lilian Weaver arrives. Not to blow my own horn, but I am pretty popular. Most people can't really afford to do anything interesting in the Facinus Sector. It's just too expensive."
"But can't our subscribers help?" She asked. She knew she was being rude for making demands of people who were already helping her, but the lives of her friends and family were at stake.
Tom shook his head sadly. "They are already sending you their thoughts and prayers. What more can you ask for?
"The situation would be different if our government was using taxpayers' faith to help, but they are focusing their efforts on parts of the galaxy where they can make more of a difference. I'm sorry to say, but our government is just too rational and efficient to help."
"What? That doesn't sound like any government I have ever heard of." Mia responded.
"It's true. Our government is full of super-rational and provably benevolent people. We use Faith Engines to verify that they are truthful about both their intentions and their skills. They are all basically supernaturally competent, holier-than-thou people, except that they are too nice to brag about it."
Sure. "Ok, now I know you are just pulling my tail. I can believe that you can use magic, I have seen you do it. I believe you when you say that you can come back from the dead, because otherwise you wouldn't be taking so many risks. I will even accept that you can create gods, because sure, why the hell not.
"But there is no way you have a government like that. A government full of nice and competent people, nyaa. I call bullshit."
She stared at him, daring him to refute her, but he just chuckled.
"Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. If I grew up around here, then I wouldn't believe it either. But it turns out that when you have technology that can magically verify people's intentions, it kind of turns politics on its head. When every lie a politician utters results in an automatic popup that clarifies what actually happened, a lot of propaganda techniques don’t work so well anymore. There is more to it of course, but I’m too dumb to understand the details of it."
She still thought that was bullshit, but at least it sounded vaguely plausible now. She added the topic to the ever-growing pile of questions she wanted to ask when her life was not in immediate danger.
"So, ironically because your government works so well, none of us here are going to get any help?" She asked.
"I'm afraid so. Not until they have helped everyone else enough that the Prayon-utility tradeoff leans in favor of interfering in the Facinus Sector."
"Prayons?" Mia asked.
"It's a technical term for quantifying how Faith Engines work on a physical level. You could convert the mana costs of your abilities to Prayons and you wouldn't be too far off."
Mia took a few seconds to process all of this, before she responded: "It sucks that we can't expect any help, but at least it is for a good cause. I hope that all the other people out there are getting all the help they need, nyaa."
She smiled as she looked up at the stars, happy for these many others that she would likely never meet.