Fun fact: This town, its characters, and most of the plot were created years ago for a Pathfinder game I was running. The only new characters are Alek and any Tel’ani. The latter had not been conceived of yet. Un was specifically created to fit into one of the player's backstories. I've been trying to insert her into everything. Funny that her original setting is the one finally being written.

Alek was not a fan of meetings. Not only was he supposed To report to Lady Emixie today, but he was also asked to come here first.

"Alek." Abernathy said in a decidedly more upbeat tone than Alek had ever heard come from the man. He looked alot better. Enough sleep probably. "This here is Cameron Caldwell." Alek looked into the most beautiful piercing blue eyes he had ever seen. The guy was gorgeous. The perfect eyes, nose, and lips set onto a perfectly shaped face with perfect blonde hair. Alek would bet his left hand the guy was Aasimar. Cameron looked left and right. Alek followed his glances and shared a knowing look with the beautiful man.

"And this is…"

"The other guy you needed to keep the evil Tiefling from tainting your good Aasimar." Alek interrupted. Cameron gave a pretty and tired smile. Shit that wasn't good. The half-orc across from the sheriff bellowed in laughter.

"Gauren Gro-tuk." The man said in a deep voice while holding a hand out to shake before Alek sat down making the angle awkward. "I run security for Malex."

"Any relation to Merlin?"

"He's my little brother."

"Of course he is."

"Alright, so I asked you all here to discuss what to do about the succubus currently masquerading as our baroness. I talked to lord Malssenin, the junior obviously, and the boy just isn't right in the head. He…"

Alek watched as Cameron's eyes glazed over. He didn't care about the demon, didn't care about this meeting. There were two options as a Tiefling. Either follow the path of lies and unscrupulousness everyone expected, or buck the trend. Aasimar had a similar situation, except that they were expected to be good, and perfect, and go into healing or priesthood. Everyone seemed to expect Aasimar are Tieflings to be natural enemies, but Cameron and Alek were far more alike than different. Judging by the uncaring, perpetually sad and tired look on the otherwise perfect face, Cameron had taken the wrong path.

"Are you listening?" Abernathy asked.

"Hmmm?" Alek and Cameron asked in unison.

"I said, that's why we need to know what she wants."

"Cameron?" Alek asked. "What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"I'm sorry what?"

"What does this have to do with the baroness?" Abernathy asked.

"When you were a kid. What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"A cooper."

"A cooper?" Abernathy parroting back as a question.

"Why?" Alek asked, ignoring the sheriff.

"Well, I guess I like now you have to spend so much time getting all the angles right with the wood and to get the bands right, so when you put the whole thing together, if you did it right, it just fits together." Cameron laced his fingers together while talking as if they were a complex joint being fitted.

"And when was the last time you made a barrel?"

"I've never made a barrel. I don't have time."

Shit. This guy was one bad day from snapping.

"Well if you do find time, I'll buy your first barrel, even if it's shit."

"Alright, that out of the way, back to the fucking demon in the room." Abernathy said. Both Cameron and Gauren glancing at Alek.

"I should bring up the point that if Emixie doesn't intend anything that will harm business or the people, then Malex doesn't particularly care about her." Gauren said.

"Hmm right…"

Alek listened to the sheriff drone on, but they didn't really have anything but speculations. Alek spent most of the time wondering how long before the cleric snapped and how bad it would be. He finally got to leave after a brief goodbye to the half-orc and a nod to Cameron. Instead of heading out to the palace, he hooked a right and found the smithy. A large man worked the forge instead of Red, which kind of stole some of the spring in his step. He wanted to ask about the book she had snatched.

"Excuse me? You have Cooper's tool available?"

One look at Alek and the man sneered. "I told you fuckers I ain't selling shit to you and you aught stay away from my smithy!"

"Your Aasimar cleric wants to make barrels as a hobby. I can pay or you can force him to pay."

Red's dad was suddenly speechless. His eyes narrowed, no doubt trying to figure out what game Alek was playing.

"I don't even need to go inside."

"Cameron isn't here yet?"

"Ah no. I'm afraid not."

Cameron's assistant was fucking cute, made cuter by the slightly flustered look she had by Alek's apparent rush.

"You have a pencil, I'll write him a note."

"Ahh, sure."

Alek scrawled "make time" on a scrap of parchment and said goodbye, sticking around just long enough to get a glimpse of her ass as she turned around. Fucking cute.

***

"Randoliin has your papers prepared for you when we are done here." Emixie said as food was placed in front of him. What were the chances that it was poisoned? Why would she poison him? It smelled good. Without any preamble, Alek popped a small strip of pheasant in his mouth and chewed. Shit. If this was the perk of being a noble, he could put up with a demon for his lord. Emixie smiled across the long table at him. She looked human today and was wearing a slightly more revealing, but still reasonable black dress. Still barefoot. She must not like shoes.

"I'm so glad to have a noble to visit with. I swear the worst part of this barony is the lack of appropriate company."

"You could spend your time with people who aren't nobility. I think people like that."

Emixie shredded her pheasant. Apparently so she could leave her seat and sit on the table. Feet dangling in the air as she popped a piece of meat into her mouth. The action was a strange blend of childish and sexy, with the way her flawless legs rubbed together, it was floating more toward the sexual end of things. This was going to be a long meeting.

"First thing I need you to do is clear your land and build a proper manor. The people need to see you as a real noble."

"I don't have the money for that, and if you want to impress the people, I would suggest 'noble-ify-ing?' someone more human looking."

She paused, leaning back and turning her shoulders toward him. Shit, was every movement she made going to be sexy? Think about old wrinkly men.

"More human looking? What's wrong with the way you look?"

"It's too demonic for most people."

"Does that cause a lack of trust? Or a dislike of physical appearance?"

"Both I think."

"Nmmm." She pouted. It was adorable. "That needs to change somehow."

She turned the other way to snag more food off her own plate before fucking laying down. One leg hanging off the table, the other foot just barely dangling her toes off. The upward angle of her leg caused her dress to fall, revealing far too much thigh. As if that wasn't enough of a show, her left hand idly ran up her side to caress her breast. Think naked old wrinkly men! Emixie waved the strip of meat around in the air.

"I was informed that you were wealthy. I thought a hero would be well paid at least." She said before lowering the meat into her mouth.

"For a farmer, yes. For a noble, not so much. I have enough money to set up a tavern or homestead or something of that sort, but if I spend it building a manor, I'll have a large and basically useless house with no money left."

"Mmm. Well a small place should be fine. This palace isn't exactly worthy of the word. I've seen nicer places in hell."

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Really? Alek hadn't considered living conditions in hell before. He knew nothing about the place.

"You'll have to build some type of money making enterprise. I can't, and won't fund your endeavors." Emixie rolled off the table, picked up another morsel and popped it in her mouth before sauntering around the chair and leaning on it. Likely sticking her butt out towards the ever present elf who Alek was sure was staring. Alek wished the girl would just sit down and eat her damn dinner. "So I'm giving you until spring to get set up, then we can start the next phase."

"The next phase of what?"

The demon finally sat down. Of course she also slouched to one side, bit her index finger, and caressed her breast again. Alek was starting to get the impression that she wasn't doing it intentionally.

"Separation from the kingdom."

"Wait what? Why do you want that?"

She looked at him with an expression that said the answer was obvious and he was dumb for asking. "So I can be the queen of course."

"Can't you just go seduce the current king?" Alek asked, he didn't like the guy anyway.

Emixie sighed. "No. I've met him and it's very clear another demon more powerful than me already has its claws in him."

Alek stared at her. She noticed, smiled, and for the time time during the dinner, actually took a full fork full of food. Alek looked down at his plate. The king was being influenced by a demon? He had no reason to doubt her and he had no real reason to care either. Building a manor would be a pain and he needed some enterprise or another. If he was really going to pretend to be a noble he would need more than a single enterprise. What about separating from (need to rename Eldin now that Elden Ring exists)? He didn't really care. Having a demon as a noble might be an issue though. "I don't think, gwaah!"

Emixie smiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." She was sitting on the table right next to him, her legs crossed and showing a lot of skin.

"Um, I was saying that I don't think the king is just going to let us separate." Alek was suddenly acutely aware of her pleasant scent, and the sound of her smooth skin of her legs rubbing against each other. She ran a hand down her hip and thigh. Naked wrinkly old man. Naked wrinkly, insane old man laughing over the corpses of children… That was a little fucked up. Emixie leaned in closer to him. Corpses of children it is then.

"Well that's why we have to do this very carefully." She leaned back giving him a bit more breathing room. "We need to build our own army, I think. Figure out a more robust economy. We are small enough that our tax and conscript burden is low."

"Those are the very things that make it hard to separate. I think the main issue is lack of manpower. More people equals more taxes and more for your army. Lydia is the largest town in this barony. It doesn't have adequate guards, let alone an army."

"Hmmm." She rolled, swinging her legs onto the table ending up laying on her belly in front of him. Propped up high enough to give a great view down her dress, she rested her chin on her hands. Her feet kicked up behind the enticing bump of her butt. Thrice cursed gods in hell he wanted to fuck her. Insane, naked, old, wrinkly man laughing over the corpses of children. "We should start a breeding program. How many women can you impregnate per day?"

Alek hadn't been eating anything at that moment, but still found himself choking on his own saliva. "That's not something anyone, including me, will be willing to do."

"Can't I order people too?"

"Only if you want a riot."

"Hmmm. What about the slaves?"

Alek opened his mouth to refute that, but paused. Actually the Tel’ani might take her up on that. "The Tel'ani might obey that, but they're dumb and lazy. Not the best soldiers for your army."

"What are Tel'ani?"

"The purple skinned people with horns."

"Oh. We don't have any of those in hell."

"Do you have humans in hell?"

Emixie pushed herself up, drawing her legs underneath her. Did she ever sit still?

"Oh yes. Lots of humans. Like, quench the unquenchable fires with the bodies. That many." She threw her arms in the air in an over exaggerated expression of exasperation. "They've taken the first two levels entirely and have been besieging the third for the last half century."

Holy shit. Was that true? Were humans really taking over hell itself?

"Anorian mana canons are the worst." The succubus continued. "Just a never ending barrage of boom, boom, boom."

"Anorians?"

"Yeah. Terrible people."

"We have Anorians."

Emixie's face twisted. A sickening, unnatural motion that might have caused Alek to jump out of his chair if the rest of her body moved. Horns sprouted from her forehead. Long and slender, reaching nearly a foot in a gentle curving arch upward and turning bone white. Her skin reddened, eyes narrowed and face widened until Alek was looking at the face on an Anorian Oni-sen.

"Demon." She said in an Anorian accent while looking down her flattened nose at him. "I sentence you to hard labor in da mines, for eternity."

"Well. That's an Anorian. Though I've never heard one sound so evil."

Emixie harrumphed in her own voice. Her skin shifted back to its pale color. The horns shrank, darkend, and moved slightly. "They're truly terrible. The others aren't much better. The only good human in hell is a slave. I have several." She said the last part with pride.

"Random question, how long ago did humans invade hell?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Just under three thousand years ago I think."

"Something to check into. Is this meeting over?"

Emixie pouted. "You want to leave me already?"

How exactly was he supposed to answer that? Fortunately he didn't have to.

"We still need to discuss your rewards for when I'm pleased with your performance."

Rewards? Performance? Emixie moved forward, crawling across the table on all fours. She pushed his empty plate out of the way. Don't look down her dress. Don't look down her dress. Alek leaned back as she reached out. She paused as if she suddenly realized he was scared of her. She backed off, sitting on the table in front of him.

"Sorry. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. It's just my nature."

"It's fine. I guess."

That was the wrong answer. Her face lit up and then she was in his lap. Fucking shit! Alek tried not to panic as a very unwantedly stiff part of his body was pressed against the fucking sex demon. Her soft breast pressed against his chest, her hands on his shoulders massaging their way down his back.

"I'm willing to give you power." She cooed.

"I've got all the power I want."

She pulled her head back and looked him in his yellow eyes. "Really?"

He nodded. Trying really hard not to miss having her breasts pressed against him.

"Magic?"

"I have magic."

"More powerful magic." She countered.

"Not that interested honestly."

She pressed her pelvis into his with an evil grin. "Sex?"

"Lydia happens to have a rather high class brothel." He choked out.

"I can give you a weaker demon as a servant. A pretty little Lilian to do your bidding?"

"Not sure what a Lilian is, but I took something home a few days ago."

"Ah yes. The little half-breed."

"Half-what?"

"Half-demon. Some type of Lilian."

"Again, not sure what a Lilian is."

"I think you would call it a succubus, or incubus. Though that tends to be specific to the lust variations like myself. Lilian are shifters, very human looking. Maybe you've heard of Illesku the Cursed?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Mmmm. Maybe you know her as Ruin? As she has a penchant for tearing down civilizations."

"Actually I think I have heard of that one."

"That's a Wrath Lilian."

"I see."

Emixie pouted as she looked down at him. He could feel her tail caressing his leg. "Did I really pick the wrong person to be my nobility? Your willpower is high. Your ambition is low. And you’re too smart for your own good."

"Also smart enough not to oppose you."

She shrugged. "There's that." She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I do think I'll enjoy the game though." She ground her pelvis into him again, but finally got off his lap. She giggled. "Randoliin has your papers. Ask him if you need anything. He's immensely useful." She said while sauntering toward the exit.

"Are you going to eat that?"

"The food? No. It's practically useless to me."

Alek sank into his chair once Emixie left. Order of business. Shove some of her pheasant into his face, because he was stressed and it was delicious. Tell Abernathy what the woman wants. Then visit the brothel and pay some girl a lot of money to fuck the living shit out of her. Maybe he could get a massage too. Maybe he could get Yuii.

***

"What are you looking for?"

"A book I have somewhere. Emixie said there are Anorians in hell."

"What does that have to do with a book?"

"She said they have been invading it for nearly three thousand years. I think that's about the same amount of time we've been here. I've got a book that might confirm that."

"Hmm."

Alek looked up at Raiah, her blank, bored expression watching him rummage through his things. She hadn't said much in the last few days. Apparently living in a covered wagon was beneath her standards. Which really pointed out how much he knew nothing about hell. He imagined endless planes of fire and demons tormenting the souls of the damned. Not nice houses and half-demons who thought covered wagons were beneath them. He opened another trunk.

"What is hell like? Walk me through an average day."

"An average day?"

"You wake up in hell, then what do you do?"

"Piss usually."

Alek shot her a look and she actually smiled. Albeit more of a smirk at his reaction.

"Then what?"

"Then I'd go downstairs, kick out any drunks that fell asleep at the tables, clean said tables, sweep the floor, wash the bar. At that point Terran would be in the kitchen and I could get some cold stew. Fucker never gave us breakfast. I'd go pick up any ingredients he needed, get cleaned up, and then the rush began. Breakfast is usually pretty mellow. Fuckers start getting rowdy around lunch and most of the dinner and after hours is a whole mess of loud, drunk, and handsy. Then bed. Then I'd do it again. And again." She sighed. "And again."

"You worked at a tavern?"

"Yeah. That a problem?"

"No, it just sounds so… normal."

"Well we served roasted babies and blood wine." She smirked again at Alek's expression. "But only on special occasions."

"You're not supposed to be able to lie."

She grinned, actually grinned. A bit mischievously, but was an improvement.

"Loophole if it's a joke apparently?"

Raiah was drastically different from Emixie. Taller, possibly a bit taller than himself, but she slouched enough that he couldn't tell. Her jaw length hair was red, but not the vibrant red of Red's. More of a reddish brown. Her horns had a similar hue unlike Emixie's black. Her skin and tail also a reddish brown, but lighter. She was slender and freckled. Cute at best. Maybe pretty if she ever really smiled. She had that worn down look that came from years of monotonous dull drum, and absolutely none of Emixie's sexual overtones. He needed to get her some new clothes. Her skirt was dirty and torn near the hem. And her tight, sleeveless shirt was horribly stained.

"Find some parchment and a pencil. We need to make a list. And I think this is it."

"You are attempting to confirm what exactly?"

"That the Anorians here are the same ones, or more specifically they used to be, the same ones as the Anorians in hell. Do you know what the Tel’ani call us?"

"What are Tel'ani?"

"The purple skinned people."

"Oh."

Alek flipped open his book. "They call us invaders. Our years start at the founding of (can no longer call kingdom Eldin), this was written 498. It's 522. That's twenty-four years plus the ten before the Nargahz Pact was signed. Wait, that's useless. Ten plus 522. So 532 plus…" Alek shuffled through more pages, then ran his finger down the description of his kingdom's founding. "2,262. Four, nine, seven. 2,794 years. Almost 3 millenia."

"What does that prove?" Raiah asked in her dry tone.

"Nothing I guess. Just that when we left wherever we're from, we apparently invaded hell as well. Must have been some cataclysm if we thought that was a good idea."

"It doesn't say in your book?"

"Nope. Maybe the Anorians know, but our entire knowledge of history starts with us losing a shit ton of technology, magic, knowledge, and people."