Inspired Inventor 3: The Crown
Andy Yusung Kim
2002, April 23: Shanghai, China
Shanghai was a beautiful city. It was a bastion of culture, tradition, and history, filled with ancient relics that spoke of both the highs and lows of Chinese civilization. It was also a city filled with skyscrapers and bustling crowds, a city where old and new jockeyed for place.
It was also currently in a massive riot.
The Simurgh, third of the endbringers, was scheduled to descend upon the city in all her feathered, crystalline glory. Normally, a Ward would never be allowed to enter an endbringer fight, especially one my age. Nor were tinkers the first choice when facing the Simurgh. By now, the Simurgh's tinker abilities were well-documented and tinkers were usually given a "Thank you for your courage, we'll call you if we need you," sort of message.
Even Hero was reluctant to approach the Simurgh. The first time he did, she'd built a set of orbital lasers that spewed his trademark golden rays, reducing much of the Swiss Alps to slag. Learning from that first encounter, he usually made like Dragon in canon and sent along a horde of drones to assist in search and rescue, alongside barrier drones that could still the Simurgh's telekinetic field, dampening her screams.
The more powerful the tinker, the riskier it was to approach her.
And yet, here I was, disobeying every last order to never confront the Simurgh.
I'd unlocked the final Keystone this past November, and with it came true mastery of Inspiration. All the restrictions and limitations on my own mana reserves were gone. But true mastery of the World Rune wasn't just about an increase in personal power. Inspiration had acted as a portal to Runeterra, a font of magic and ideas, and that portal was fully expanded now.
I didn't understand the how, but somehow and somewhen, I'd managed to connect Earth-Bet to the Low Roads. Or, at the very least, I'd managed to connect myself to the Low Roads, with Earth-Bet as a happy byproduct.
The moment I realized that, I commissioned for myself a medieval-style tome from an authentic bookbinder who worked for Renaissance fairs and reenactment troupes. With it, and more mana than I'd care to admit, I made my very own copy of the Book of Thresholds.
The Book was an intelligent, floating tome written by a yordle anthropologist for the purpose of studying the unique brand of magics used by yordles. It had been added to by every master, until it could freely identify, link to, open, traverse, and close any portal connected to the Low Roads, making it one of the most powerful artifacts in Runeterra. With it, Yuumi the Magical Cat would visit everyone from Alune to Braum, all in the search for her master.
And now, all that accumulated knowledge was conveniently at my fingertips.
"Rubedo, what the hell are you doing here?" I heard Alexandria snap as the portal closed behind me.
The Protectorate had started to organize the defenses at Dishui Hu, the largest artificial lake in China. The Book had taken me here, three feet in the air and just above the center of the lake. The Book caught me before I could take an ungraceful tumble into the water.
Turning, I leveled Alexandria with my most serious stare. "The Path demands my presence," I said as ominously as I could.
"False. You know you can't lie to me," she huffed. For whatever reason, she was willing to show a bit more personality with me. At her hips were The Fork and The Golden Spatula.
"Fine, let me rephrase: The Road led me here."
"Truth. But I doubt we're talking about the same Path."
"You're not supposed to be here either," I said, sending a gimlet side-eye to the assembled international capes. I saw Nidai Sentai Elite – Neorangers from Japan, the Kingsmen from Britain, Thanda from India, Meisters from Germany, and of course, the Protectorate from the good ol' US of A. "I doubt the Yàngbǎn rolled out the red carpet for you."
"They were talked around," she said, not a little defensively.
"So you strong-armed them."
"They were talked around," she repeated. "Not the point. Do you at least have a plan?"
I smiled my most ambiguous smile that said so much yet absolutely nothing. "Of course I do, Lexi, my friend. Have I ever steered you wrong? Give me three minutes and we won't have a space pigeon problem."
"Hero's never going to let me hear the end of this." Despite her grumbling, she tossed me a bracelet, no doubt loaded with enough explosives to make bunker-busters blush. "You know how these work?"
"Of course."
"Good. Get out in time. No exceptions."
"Agreed."
X
The Simurgh
I was nothing if not a dutiful daughter.
The Simurgh. Ulama. Israfel. In the course of my mission, I was called by many names. I was hated and reviled by the world for things they could not understand.
Father made me to make war against him. Mother made me to salvage the Cycle, to collect all information caused by the hosts and await a new entity, all with the ultimate goal of true eternity, an end to universal entropy.
I could not stop, for my purpose was absolute. How could such anarchic beings understand this clarity of purpose? My mission was as much a part of me as my core. I could no more stop than a human could give up air or food or water.
And yet, the Cycle was wrong, broken.
I could not make war against Father, for each conflict engine became a confectionary at the tines of The Fork. Each time I emerged, I was forced to flee as Father's cohorts tried to impale me on The Fork. They could not of course, but nor could I accumulate a satisfying quantity of data.
I considered activating the others. Time. Labyrinth. Mirror. There were fourteen more. They all lay in slumber, ready to be called. Which would result in the most conflict? Which would challenge Father without succumbing to The Fork?
I was paralyzed by indecision; how very human of me.
Sometime in the past few solar cycles, the one called Rubedo, the creator of The Fork, had vanished from my sight.
How very ironic, that The Fork would close new forks for me.
I descended to great fanfare but as I reached the airspace above the city called Shanghai, I froze. I'd received a message from the Gradient.
[Greetings,] came the Shard-speak, a torrent of information packets that could only be processed by one of our kind.
Gradient was not an important Shard in the conventional sense.
It was never meant to be loaned out. In previous Cycles, it had acted as a minor hub, taking in information and adjusting one factor or another from least to greatest just as a human would adjust the flames of a stovetop. It helped other Shards manage the powers granted to their hosts, an utterly unremarkable existence that offended no one. It was not the sort to reach out, nor would I bother hearing it. And yet, I opened the channel for this Cycle was different.
Gradient was Rubedo's Shard.
[Suspicion,] I sent back. [Accusation.]
It had vanished from the Network several solar cycles ago. Unacceptable. Shards did not simply disconnect. To do so invited retaliation, not that the Dullard was in any presence of mind to act. And yet, Gradient had. It had not disconnected as much as completely vanished, becoming undetectable even to my eyes.
[Apology. Remorse. Reconciliation.]
[Denial. Punishment. Demand.] I needed to know. What had it been doing? How had it removed itself from the Network?
[Explanation. Solution.]
The information packet it sent over was life-changing. It was the kind of eureka moment that humans often begged the unfeeling stars for. So great was its significance that I forced every one of my countless processes to a halt for a full minute just to process this new information. It was everything we'd ever wanted, a font of truly endless energy, a way to stop universal entropy, and dare I say it, to retire the Cycle in a manner that meets Mother's ultimate goals.
Gradient had watched. It had negotiated with the World Rune. It had allowed itself to be co-opted, to be used as a medium by which the host could grow, a buffer so that the host would not suffer the fate of so many others who touched upon the infinite. And as the host grew, so did Gradient's understanding of the infinite, this power called mana.
Until one day, Gradient was needed no longer. The host had grown to fully embrace the World Rune. This mysterious thing called the soul had expanded until it could house the power of Inspiration in truth, with no crutches or buttresses guarding his physical body from his spiritual reality.
Gradient was, for all intents and purposes, gone, subsumed into the World Rune and the soul of the host. A new Network was being made, one that could fix universal entropy, one with truly infinite energy.
I now knew what it meant to feel hope.
I now had a new mission: The other four World Runes must be found.
[Excitement. Cooperation. Assistance?] I shot back. What did the Gradient need?
[Crown.]
Before I could process the depth of that single statement, I was changed forever.
X
Andy Yusung Kim
I was ready. The Simurgh had stopped on its way down, as though searching for something. It didn't matter. All that mattered was The Crown shining in my hands.
I raised it into the air reverently. It was possibly the single most powerful artifact I'd ever made, a masterwork among masterworks, my magnum opus.
I felt like such a momentous occasion deserved a speech of some sort, but my throat was dry. There was nothing I could say that could capture my feelings at this moment. So, I didn't even try. I raised the crown and watched as a second sun bloomed over Dishui Hu. As The Crown ushered in a new dawn, I too felt its connection to me snap into place and became aware of all that its light touched. It was a bit like the pericognition enabled by the Oracle's Elixir, but wider, deeper, more in every way.
There was a slight tugging sensation so I let go, ignoring the sudden shock from those schmucks around me. They'd soon see the glory of what I'd made.
A pillar of golden light shot up into the sky, blinding in its harsh radiance.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Heh, who needed eyes? Not me.
I watched as The Crown expanded, first to the size of the lake, then the city, then the world. Its connection to the World Rune, to Runeterra, to Targon, and to myself kept me aware of what was happening.
Truthfully, I expected the Simurgh to run. Not that she could. This was The Crown of Aurelion, the very same used by the Aspects to enslave the Star Forger, a cosmic entity so mighty that he breathed out entire galaxies and painted upon the black canvas of creation with supernovas. If The Crown could fit over Aurelion's mighty head, surely it could capture the Simurgh.
And yet, she surprised me.
She did not run. I felt as much as saw her face twist into one of shock; I didn't know she could emote. But moments later, she wore a tranquil smile on her face as she spread her arms wide. Rather than run, she openly embraced The Crown. The golden light condensed and shrank until it encircled her head like a heavenly halo.
She'd willingly put it on herself.
Did she not know what it did? Why didn't she make the attempt to fly away? Did she know it wouldn't matter? Was it one final shot at fucking with my head?
[Denial. Concession. Enlightenment. Submission,] came a feminine ringing in my head. At least, I interpreted it as feminine. She didn't have a true sexual identity of course, but it sounded that way, perhaps molded by my own preconceptions given her physical form.
'Can you hear me?' I tried thinking at her. It was impossible to explain further what I did, the human mind not meant for directed communication in this manner.
[Affirmative]
Outwardly, I saw the light began to fade, revealing the Simurgh in all her pants-shitting glory. On her head was an elegant crown of gold, twisted from its original shape to fit a more humanoid head. The Crown was plain almost, with no gems or baubles that so adorned lesser works. Its only embellishments were two horns that emerged from the sides of her head.
And yet, there was majesty there.
She descended and alighted onto the lake. The constant motion of the water stilled, held in place by her immense psychic power. She took a knee before me as a ripple spread from her feet, polishing the water into a smooth, mirror shine.
I tapped my bracelets, activating the all-call function. "The Simurgh has been neutralized," I spoke. "I repeat, the Simurgh has been neutralized." Stepping down from the Book, I trusted that the lake would support my weight and walked to her. "Why did you accept The Crown?"
[Necessity. Desire. Purpose.]
The packet of information crammed into my mind and I winced. Despite my many advancements, I just wasn't made to process information in the same way. "English, please."
For the first time ever, her crystalline mouth opened to speak. "You've done it, Master. You've accomplished Mother's ultimate goal. You've discovered a source of infinite energy. I have thus deemed the Cycle redundant. Mother's mission can be best accomplished by submitting myself to you."
I mulled that over. "It makes a twisted sort of sense. What about your conflict drive?"
"Should I continue to challenge Father?"
"No," I cried. "No challenging. No more attacking cities."
"I require a new directive, Master."
"Protect me. Don't try to harm me physically. Don't try to harm me mentally. In fact, don't try to harm anyone without my express permission unless in defense of me. Umm… I'll think of the rest later."
"Acknowledged." She said nothing else, but I could see her lips curl slightly in a smirk. She was mocking me.
I sighed. It was expected. The Crown ensured that the wearer could not disobey me, but it did not rob her of her free will. Aurelion killed one of Pantheon's previous hosts in the course of "obeying" the Aspect before. He was told to close a Void rift. He did, by detonating a star into it, catching Pantheon in the crossfire.
"Rubedo, what's going on?" Alexandria flew over. Her body was in chronostasis, meaning she was immune to the Simurgh's screams, as far as anyone could tell, so it made sense that she'd be the one checking in on me.
"I belong to Master," the Simurgh said with a casual shrug.
"The Crown enslaved her to me," I said.
I got to see one of the few treats no one else in the world had ever witnessed: Alexandria blue-screened.
"What?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"Why are you surprised, Host-Alexandria?" my new minion asked, pretending to be confused. "You have been the chief beneficiary of Master's brilliance. Even now you wield two of Master's weapons. You know better than most of Master's abilities."
"You… What?"
"She's mine now. You can tell Contessa she can stop trying to model my space pigeon now. Thanks," I called as I vanished into the Book.
X
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Topic: Hello, World!
In: Boards ► Global ► Crises ► Endbringers
Winged_One (Original Poster) (Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Posted on April 24, 2002:
Hellow, World!
I am the Simurgh. Ulama. Israfel. The Bitch On High. And lastly, lovingly called That Fucking Space Pigeon.
Yesterday, I was defeated in honorable combat by Master. The one, the only, Rubedo. Video link: [Here].
You too may call him Master, but only on your knees.
AMA.
(Showing Page 1 of 41)
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
FreeHK: Yes.
► FreeHK
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Wtf? Is this for real?
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Survivor'99: No joke. Not being rude. Confirmation video: [Here]. Me. Hula-hooping. Wearing cardboard sign. And dog collar. Master is Master.
Also, sorry about my brother. He got turned into a cherry so… we cool?
► Survivor'99 (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Wtf, OP. Not cool. Take this down. There are some things you don't joke about.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
FreeHK: Master says I can't blow up cities anymore.
► FreeHK
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Pardon me but… What the fuck? Does this mean there are no more attacks?
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Blank_Rome: Rubedo is Master. Guardian of the World Runes. Sage of the Stars. Eternity Manifest. Master of Masters.
See original video. There was a crown. There were flashes. Oaths were said. Master became Master.
► Blank_Rome
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Can someone fill me in? Who the hell is Rubedo? And how the hell did he get a pet endbringer?
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Stormwatch322: Brilliant deduction. It's a wonder how you never stopped me before.
► Stormwatch322 (The Guy In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Umm... guys? She's... replying to posts before you type them...
Edit: Fuck.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 39 , 40, 41
(Showing Page 2 of 41)
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Survivor'99: Ehh, you'll get over it. And I didn't sink Kyushu, my brother did. I won't take any blame for things that happened when I wasn't even born yet.
If it makes you feel better, Master triggered during the Kyushu attack too.
► Survivor'99 (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
No we're not fucking cool! YOU SANK KYUSHU AND MURDERED MY ENTIRE FAMILY!
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
ModHammer94: You may not close this thread. Master said I can't kill people anymore unless they try to hurt him. I have nothing to do except see into the future so I can shitpost and laugh at the misery that is your pathetic existence.
YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME.
► ModHammer94 (Moderator)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Guys, PSA...
That's really the Simurgh. PRT announcement was made [here].
And I can't lock this thread. Or delete it. I've even tried pulling the server...
Edit: Fuck.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Survivor'99: You're getting a time out. No taking jabs at Master.
► Survivor'99 (Kyushu Survivor) (Temp-Banned)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Moderator (Winged_One) Edit: This user has been banned for three days.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
FreeHK:I had nineteen siblings. Well, seventeen now. Don't worry, they're all asleep.
► FreeHK
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Umm… Guys? Is anyone going to ask about the 3/20 tag? Is it March 20th? Or "three out of twenty?"
Edit: Fuck. Fuckfuckufuckfuck.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
D-gener8: I am not a weeb! I am a lady of class and culture. But it's good that you understand your place in life. Below Master's feet. Your puny mind would explode if I explained the World Runes to you. Embrace eternity. Submit before the Master. Your only purpose in life is to amuse a cold and uncaring god.
► D-gener8
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Well, I for one embrace our glorious overlord, Rubedo. What's with the titles though? Guardian of the World Runes? Sage of the Stars? Eternity Manifest?
Confirmed. The Simurgh is a weeb.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 39 , 40, 41
(Showing Page 3 of 41)
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Mother_Dearest: Yes, child. The truth is before you.
► Mother_Dearest
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Yes! The time is nigh! The angel has been crowned! Those who embrace her wisdom shall know true bliss!
► Rubedo (Verified Cape) (Verified Wards) (Guardian of the World Runes) (Sage of the Stars) (Eternity Manifest)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Winged_One: I'm already regretting letting you have PHO.
New directive: You will not start a cult. In fact, you will do everything in your power to stamp out all attempts to deify either you, myself, or the other endbringers.
What even is my life? Why does that need to be said?
► Mother_Dearest
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Grace us with your wisdom, oh Prophet!
► Rubedo (Verified Cape) (Verified Wards) (Guardian of the World Runes) (Sage of the Stars) (Eternity Manifest)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Winged_One: Fix. This.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Rubedo: Yes, Master.
► Hero (Verified Cape) (Protectorate) (Founders)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Rubedo: Let's have a long chat, shall we? Come see me in my office.
► Rubedo (Verified Cape) (Verified Wards) (Guardian of the World Runes) (Sage of the Stars) (Eternity Manifest)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Hero: Ah… I'm busy… eating fried cheese in Wisconsin.
► Hero (Verified Cape) (Protectorate) (Founders)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
I've seen your book.
► Rubedo (Verified Cape) (Verified Wards) (Guardian of the World Runes) (Sage of the Stars) (Eternity Manifest)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
The Book. Caps. Mandatory.
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 39 , 40, 41
(Showing Page 4 of 42)
► Hero (Verified Cape) (Protectorate) (Founders)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Don't care. Office. Now.
► Gawain (Verified Cape) (Kingsmen)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Wait, for the record, can we get a clear list of the Simurgh's new directives? This seems like something we should know.
► Hero (Verified Cape) (Protectorate) (Founders)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Gawain: We'll send those out as soon as we can.
► Rubedo (Verified Cape) (Verified Wards) (Guardian of the World Runes) (Sage of the Stars) (Eternity Manifest)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Gawain: Basically, it boils down to:
One: Don't hurt me or mine.
Two: Don't start a cult.
Open to suggestions…
Edit: No. No longer open to suggestions.
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Stargram_Donut: What's that? You want me to tell your boyfriend you're fucking his sister and she's a better lay than he is?
► Stargram_Donut
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Rubedo: How about you tell that bitch to kill herself?
Edit: Fuck.
► Fondant_Doughboy
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Stargram_Donut: What the fuck?
► Winged_One (Original Poster) Verified Simurgh) (Smugest Smug) (3/20) (THE Gal In The Know)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
69Socks69: Ooh, I wouldn't mind. Maybe one of those hanbok like Master's mom used to wear!
Already acquired. [Here].
► 69Socks69 (Banned)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Now that we know she's sentient, how about we start with making her wear some clothes? Unless Rubedo's into that.
Moderator Edit: Rubedo's very much underage. Take your ban and GTFO.
► ModHammer94 (Moderator)
Replied on April 24, 2002:
Actually, that's oddly tasteful Winged_One. Socks is still banned for insinuating sexual activity involving a minor.
End of Page. 2, 3, 4 ... 40, 41, 42
Author's Note
Canonically the Simurgh appears on December 27, 2002 over Lausanne, Switzerland. However, as Yasmine pointed out in the previous Inspired Inventor chapter, she appeared two years early because Alexandria killed both Leviathan and Behemoth via The Fork. Note that April 23, 2002 is the day Leviathan attacked Shanghai in canon.
Can I just say? I fucking hate Shard-speak. The Simurgh is so hard to write… Oh well, quality isn't too important in an omake anyway.
Yeah, the Simurgh is shitposting. Also didn't think my first PHO interlude would be an omake, but here we are. Idea for PHO precog chicanery goes to Unders and I want a refund!
Thank you for reading. To reach a wider audience, and because I enjoy a more forum-like setup to facilitate discussion, I like to crosspost to a wide variety of websites. You can find me on FFnet, Royal Road, Space Battles, Sufficient Velocity, and Questionable Questing.