The forest is bathed in bright silvery moonlight as we make our way along the trail from the car park.
Despite Felix and Alastaire's spat, the evening served its purpose.
Satisfied now that they'd met – or rather, interrogated – the band, my parents were totally happy to send me off with them at the end of the night with my overnight bag, a flashlight and the remaining strawberry cupcakes in a tupperware.
We agreed I'll stay with the guys as long as it takes to get the album recorded – maybe up to a week or longer – and I'll phone my mom to check in every day.
It'll be so much better not having to do this long walk twice a day. And staying over at the cabin's gonna be fun. Like a summer camp. Even if I'm feeling sort of nervous about being around Felix after the… thing… that happened in my bedroom.
Now, as I pick my way along the trail shining my flashlight onto the path in front of me, my mind keeps wandering over to what happened.
He acted totally normal when he came downstairs afterwards, ignoring me as if nothing had happened at all.
From time to time, I try to make him out in the darkness ahead. The others are easy to spot – Kitty and Ben are sharing a flashlight, followed by Elliot and Lyall who are carrying a solar lamp borrowed from my dad.
Alastaire insisted on walking behind me with another flashlight. He says it's so that he can guard me in case wolves or hobos try to steal me away from the back of the line; Ben says it's because he wants to check out "the view".
Judging from the amount of time Alastaire's spending shining his flashlight directly at my butt, I suspect Ben’s right on the money.
Felix is walking ahead of the group, just beyond the collective glow cast by our torches and lamplight.
Even with the full moon hanging low and bright in the sky, the forest is so thick and overgrown in places that no light penetrates the blackness at all.
And yet Felix is seamlessly moving through the shadows, with far more grace than I can manage even with my way perfectly lit.
"You ok?"
I almost jump out of my skin as Kitty drops in beside me.
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"You're quiet," she says. "Quieter than usual I mean. Is something bothering you?"
I shake my head in the darkness, even though I know she won't see it.
"I'm fine," I say. "Really. I'm just... tired, I guess. Thanks though."
Kitty doesn't respond. We walk in silence for a few minutes, before she suddenly speaks up.
"You know, he wasn't always like this," she says.
"Felix?" I ask.
"Yeah," she says. "When we were kids... before th-... I mean, when we were little, he was different. He was so happy all the time that it actually got kinda irritating. Like literally, non-stop laughing and joking and smiling and singing. I guess the singing part hasn't changed."
Felix acting happy and laughing and smiling? Even as a kid, that's hard to imagine.
"What happened?" I ask.
There's a long pause. "You'll have to ask him that yourself," she finally answers. There's another long, heavy silence as we walk through the dark woods, torch fixed on the leafy trail ahead of us.
"Your parents are good people," she continues. "And kind. They really love you."
That's sort of a weird thing to say... but, ok.
"Sometimes I feel like they love me too much," I say. "I wish they'd just back off a bit. Give me some breathing room."
"You don't know what you're saying," Kitty says. "Trust me."
I want to ask her what she means, but there was a strange undercurrent in her voice. Was it sadness? Longing?
"Anyway, isn't your ass getting hot?" She asks, peering behind me.
"What? Why?" I ask, feeling my face turn flaming red.
"Because Al's had his flashlight fixed on it for the past five minutes," she says, glancing back at him. "Hey! Manwhore! It's not funny any more. Quit it, or you'll burn a hole right through her."
The light instantly swings away from my body and shines on the path a respectable distance away, while Kitty bursts into a fit of giggles.
"Ash, me darlin', crack open de tuppewares an' pass me one of those cupcakes," Lyall calls out from ahead of us. "I could do with a snack on de road."
"Fat chance!" Kitty calls back. "Wait till we get to the cabin. It shouldn't be too much longer. I think I see it now anyway."
There's a light shining through the trees up ahead. As we near it, I can see it's too big, too high up, to be the gaslight we left on the cabin porch.
In fact, we're still deep in the forest. Possibly deeper in the forest than ever before. The trees are unfamiliar – huge, dripping with ferns and finely spun spider webs that glitter in the strange silver light.
I look down and realize that I can't see the path any more.
"What the–?" Kitty mutters, as she takes my hand, pulling me towards the light.
Up ahead, the ground slopes downwards from all directions toward a central point, forming a sort of crater. Small round stones crusted over with grey lichens and a thick carpet of moss cover the forest floor. I can see a shadow just ahead of us, silhouetted by the light.
Felix.
More shadows join him, as Ben and Elliot and Lyall stop walking. I feel a hand on my arm, and Alastaire is suddenly beside me, eyes wide as we reach the others, staring at the thing floating high up in the air.
A ball of silvery light as big as a car. No, bigger.
For a moment I think it's the full moon, hanging impossibly low in between the trees.
Then it moves. Or rather, it unfurls.
Alastaire’s voice is barely a whisper. "What the actual–"