Novels2Search
Exuperius [DISCONTINUED]
3. Tainted Memories

3. Tainted Memories

Rampant Memory Of Klaus: Magic is considered an unnatural force upon the continent of Terravest, a radical view that is not shared by much of the world at large. This is due to a variety of factors, including but not limited to the fact that the entire continent was once under the thrall of a massive dark elven empire which used dark magics to control the minds of its numerous slave races. Though this happened many generations ago, there are still living dwarves and the occasional unfortunate, rebellious dark elf that wander the land, spreading tales of the dangers presented by magic and the potentially vile minds that may seek to use it for their own deviant purposes.

This is speculated to be the origin of The Church Of Rhothmir, a religious organization whose sects cover much of Terravest, surpassing even the barriers presented by language and race in their rabid quest to exterminate all magic not gifted by the gods.

Though most people nowadays are born without magic, it can still naturally manifest in people. This form of magic is often called an "Arcana", the personal manifestation of one's magic, the physical form of their innermost wishes, as magic itself is often called "The Power Of Wishes".

----------------------------------------

Swirling and twirling, it's power manifests upon the world.

Is it a weapon?...

... Or is the weapon, you?

----------------------------------------

An audible sigh escaped me as I heard the royal guards closing the heavy throneroom door behind me with a thud that echoed through the hallway which stretched out in front of me. "Finally..." A soft murmur rushed out of me as I felt drained in soul, body and mind alike.

Stretching myself and hearing my bones crack loudly gave me some indication about the current state of this body. As is perhaps to be expected of a prince that wasn't born in love with war and conflict, this body is not only obese, but also very weak, with the only real muscles that I can feel being on my back and hips, respectively.

My stomach then howled as I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since this morning, when I arrived. A smile etched itself upon my frame as I subconsciously reached for my newly acquired bottle of what was supposedly holy water.

Welp, time to find my way to the kitchens! 

Turning my head to look around, I pointed towards one of the butlers lining the walls to my right. He was a well dressed man, with sleek black hair and very proper posture. Around fourty years old, or at least he looked like it. "Alright, you there, Jeeves~. Be a dear and escort me to the dining hall."

He appeared somewhat confused as he instantly walked over to me, almost as if it was muscle memory to him. "As you wish, sire. What do you wish to eat tonight?"

Oh? You mean I get to choose?.. nah, it's probably just what I want in general. Let's just go with the usual then!

"I'll be having some bird breast. Hmm, roasted to be specific." A nod was given as he wrote down my order like a professional waiter would. "Duck, pheasant or chicken, sire?"

Humming as if I had anything to consider here, I just gave him a shrug and answered. "Chicken."

"As you wish." He turned his head towards a maid, gave her a wink and turned back around just as the maid sprang into action like a well oiled machine. A wordless, practiced order.

I couldn't help but whistle to myself as I watched this happen~.

"Your majesty?" The butler quirked a sudden eyebrow at me, his original confusion seemingly returning. "Yes, Jeeves~?"

He cleared his throat and seemed to develop a bit of an ashamed expression as he replied. "May I be given the right to speak freely?"

With a shrug, I nodded toward the man. "Of course." 

Swallowing down hard, he let out a breath of relief. "My lord may not be aware of this, but this servant is under the impression that thy lordship has lost thy memories."

Quirking an eyebrow at this daring butler, I faked my interest. "Oh? Do go on."

"W-well, it's only speculation but... Your lordship, my name is George, not Jeeves... And you are known for hating the taste of chicken, calling it dry and tasteless." A laugh escaped me as we continued walking.

"I know full well that your name isn't Jeeves, but I'll also be calling you whatever I like, servant." His frame shrunk a bit after hearing this, making me chuckle a bit before continuing. "However, you are correct on the loss of memory. After all, I did ask to be guided towards my own castles dining room!"

He nodded feverishly, seemingly afraid for his life for some strange reason all of a sudden. "Y-yes, b-but that may very well be due to simple shock! After all, you've lost his majesty today..."

I stopped a bit for dramatic effect. "Are you saying that I am weak enough to be rattled by something such as this?"

"Y-your majesty?!..." He struggled to find the right words, but eventually, he conceded and turned to bow. "No. Not at all. You are absolutely correct, your majesty. Please forgive this foolish servant's insolence."

Eh.

So he didn't go on a rant about how it's okay to feel weak at times such as this.

Hmm.

Looks like this butler is a true professional. Mature and intelligent enough to see beyond my words in direct conversation, too~.

After a couple seconds of watching his bowing frame, I just chuckled and waved my hand to dismiss his worries. "You're forgiven, George. Now, let us not tarry any longer! I am quite ravenous right now~."

With that said, we continued our walk towards the dining room.

----------------------------------------

You look upon a tomato and think it to be a vegetable.

You gaze into thy own darkness and think it to be the absence of light...

----------------------------------------

It didn't take very long for the servants to bring me my requested food.

Or maybe it did and I just spent a long time marveling at all the expensive, carved furniture all around me.

Everything, from the gemstone laden walls, to the immense, t-shaped table of rich, blackened wood inlaid with silver and gold, carefully melted into the wood, apparently.

It was all magical, surely, and infinitely more expensive than anything I could ever afford back on my own world.

And to think I used to be a doctor, a legal practitioner of medicine.

Though not one adhering to that damnable pledge.

So what if I used the waste of society in my experiments!? It was research done in an effort to cure cancer and those thugs would just go back out there to get beaten up or die wastefully on the streets, anyways!

Ah. On that note, I should secure a laboratory for myself here. On this world, as the king of a nation, nobody will question me if a couple people go missing!

After all, I have power now~.

And these powers require exceptional experimentation!

By the way, the food is great. With cooks like these, there's no wonder that my glorious self got so fat.

Still though, with a body such as this, it's only a matter of time before I get a heart attack or get caught by an assassin with no guards around, so I should definitely look into ways of improving my health.

But there is no way I'm giving it any legitimate effort! I plan to enjoy this liberating new life of mine as much as I can, after all.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Hmmm, perhaps I should study the effects of magic on cells? An artificial increase in telomere length could do wonders for my overral health!

... Wait, how old am I anyways? "Hey, George!"

He was nigh instantly by my side. If I didn't see him walk, I would have thought he teleported in front of me. Looks like professional servants can be scary, too. "Yes, your majesty? Is the food to your liking?"

"Yes, the foods great, that's not why I called for you." I replied with a snort as the man adopted a somewhat confused expression. "It isn't? Then how may I serve you, your majesty?"

"How old am I?" My blunt question caused him to do a double take.

"... I beg your pardon?" He blinked several times, causing me to sigh, which in turn caused him to reply despite his confusion. "You are thirty seven as of this winter, your majesty."

Ah. The ripe age for the appearance of spinal troubles~.

"I see. Thank you." I waved my hand to dismiss him as I returned my attention towards the food. It seems I'll have to hasten my research.

But I'm not worried! This is a fantasy world, after all. Surely, there are numerous ways to make oneself am eternal being!

*knock knock knock*

Familiar sounds broke me out of my very important monologue, as the servants opened the doors to reveal the aging highlord has arrived, followed closely by that same redhead knight whose advice I actually followed even after refusing it so vehemently. "Oh? Seems like I have some uninvited guests."

The old lord scowled. "We would not be here were it not for your faulty, comedic performance at today's court!... Your majesty."

Ah, looks like he's being grumpy again. Too bad, because I have no patience to spare anymore, least of all today. "Spare me your ceaselessly unhelpful drivel, William. Why are you here? Speak plainly and directly or not at all."

Despise my crass, rude response, the old man seemed to be quite pleased with it. "Hmm.. looks like you were right, Katrin. He truly does seem like a whole other person." He openly spoke with amusement as he approached my seat, yet did not presume to take one himself.

Not willing to allow myself to be tested anymore, I sighed. "Just sit down and tell me what you want already, old man."

He grimaced as his follower did her best to conceal her laughter. "As you wish, your majesty." He took a seat, then turned to look at me directly in the eye.

"Boy. I have watched you grow from a spiteful, spoiled brat into a hedonistic piece of human shit that spent the majority of its youth making my daughter's life a living hell. Yet, the first thing you do today is give her a promotion. Why?" He spoke with a tone that bordered on hatred, yet it was also full of doubt.

I threw at look at the woman named Katrin and felt myself sigh as flashes of memory formed in my conscious.

Flashes of abuse, of bullying, of endless spite and wounded teenage pride. "William. Katrin." I turned my head up to look at them both. "I have no idea who the either of you are."

My response came out rather pitifully, but I hope I managed to keep at least some dignity. "... You, don't remember us?"

Katrin was the first to respond as her father gaped with shock as I shook my head in negative towards her. "I don't. Your father said that I promoted you so I assume that by that you mean me calling you the Knight-Commander, correct?"

She nodded, slowly, in disbelief and yet, hope. "Well, that wasn't a promotion. That title was just the first thing that came to mind when I looked at you for the first time." Then I let out a sigh. "Actually, I wasn't even aware of the fact that you were a woman until you came closer."

She shrugged at that last part but seemed disappointed at the rest of it. "You can keep the title if it matters to you that much."

Now it was her turn to be shellshocked, just as her father finally recovered. "Y-you.. after decades of denying her that right due to being born a woman.. you just give it her her freely..?"

... I did that?

No, no. You know what. These are medieval times. I can't judge myself too harshly. "Well, what would you have me do? Give her a test of some kind to prove herself?"

He shook his head. "There are procedures and trials already in place for that, you need not do anything but give your approval, your majesty."

"Then you have it. Now, I am quite tired, so I'd rather you leave me to my thoughts." The old man sighed but nodded in surprising understanding as he rose from his seat.

"I shall make myself scarce then.. however, my daughter has another important matter to discuss with you, your majesty. Surely, tired as you may be, as a man, you should always be able to make time for your fiancé." With that bombshell dropped, the old man left the room with an unknown but surely bemused expression.

I looked at the twenty-ish year old woman, who was blushing heavily as she took this as her cue to sit down on the very same chair as her father but she did not utter a word.

Letting out an audible sigh, I began the clearly uncomfortable conversation. "Well, at least my former self had good taste."

She blinked and responded quite furiously. "Oh, really. So now you're gonna tell me that after all the shit you put me through, you're actually attracted to me? Or is it that you just want to see me broken and bent to serve you like some cheap maid as you always said?!"

Ah, looks like that was a landmine. "I'm not going to deny that I do have a kink for being rough in the bedchamber but I am attracted to you. After all, as a tomboy, you aren't the type of woman to poison herself with makeup and other products for the sake of beauty." Shrugging, I returned to my feast, intent in finishing it quickly. "Which also makes you the perfect candidate for bearing a lot of children."

My musings were not interrupted which made me curious as to what her expression was. Looking up from my food, I found her stuck in a three way war between a blush, pure hatred and visible disgust.

I let out a massive sigh. "But I get the point. Our engagement, I have no memory of how it happened but I probably forced it on you, right?"

She nodded, with tears forming and falling down her cheeks. "Y-yes, Klaus. You did."

Why is she crying? Isn't her freedom what she wants? Isn't that why she is here..?

"Well, you don't need to worry about it anymore." I let out a sigh. "Consider it officially annuled. You need not worry about being tied to a man seventeen years older than you." Chuckling lightly, I quickly added on. "Besides, there's no way I could satisfy you as a man with this kind of body~."

However, despite my joking mood, the woman in front of me was in complete tears. ".. why? Who are you... Incomplete soul my ass, the moment you sat on that throne, it's like you were switched for someone else." She rubbed her eyes and sniffed. "I'm supposed to be h-happy, like you said, I'm free b-but..."

After a moment, she continued. "I'm supposed to hate you, to despise you from the core of my being for all the abuse, all the pain you gave me... But looking at you now, I just can't do it. I can't even act the part..."

...

"Why." This sounded more like a statement than a question as I watched Katrin steel herself and look at me with a saddened expression. 

"You once confided in me that you were afraid of being alone, Klaus." ...what? Afraid of loneliness?

I quirked an eyebrow at her in confusion, but said nothing.

"The person in front of me right now? He feels like someone that has completely given up on companionship as a whole, rejecting everyone around him... And what makes that okay?... The fact that he is somehow strong? Used to it?" She let out a sigh. 

"I got used to your abuse, Klaus. That never made it okay." Her voice was firm and controlled, but she was shaking as I calmly finished my meal and put the spoon down before answering.

"Well, Katrin... That's just what it means to be a king, you know? It's a lonely road that I have to walk so I might as well set the foundation as quickly as I can." She quivered in her seat in silence.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke. "You know, I came here today to accept the engagement. To submit to my fate. I thought that, as you just lost your father, you would be even more forceful than ever before but maybe, just maybe, I could use that to get you to give me more freedom than you originally intended..."

She looked up with a gaze full of melancholy. "Yet, here you are, telling me that I am free of you as if you were already dead... As if you came to terms with the possibility of dying alone and childless..."

With another wipe of her flowing tears, she rose from her seat. "This is supposed to be my Victory.. I wished for your death so many times but I never imagined this..."

Placing a hand over her heart and looking at me with an expectant gaze, she spoke. "... Why then, why does it feel so.. so very, very hollow..?"

....

I let out another massive sigh. I swear to God, women like this are exactly why ancient kings fought wars. "Katrin. It is clear to me that you are an immensely good person, but you are letting your pity cloud your judgement here."

"... Is it really only pity if it hurts so much, Klaus?" She asked with uncertainty in her tone.

Is this woman a masochist? Is this some kind of horrendous Stockholm Syndrome shit? 

I'm getting kinda pissed now. 

... No, wait, could it be that.. "Katrin.. you don't get along with other men, do you!"

She shook her head in negative. "N-no. I have a deep fear of men because of the torment you put me through. I can only properly act in front of men while I fight them and.. I can only be myself when I'm with you..." She was clearly disgusted with herself for saying it, despite it being the truth.

I let out yet another sigh. "Katrin, because of my actions, you've grown distrustful of men in general, but you've spent enough time with me to feel like you know me and thus, that you can trust me."

Her eyes went wide. "S-so.. is that how you planned to make me accept the marriage.. by making me scared of every other man...?"

I shook my head. "That, I cannot confirm nor deny." 

Quickly continuing on, I said. "But it is clear that you have suffered from my actions. We are annulling the engagement. You will eventually find another man that can prove worthy of your trust and hopefully he can help heal the damage that I caused."

She remained silent, her shaken frame wrought with doubt and worry.

Oh bloody lord in heaven, just accept my logic already and just fuck off you deviant duckling!

... Naturally, I kept a straight poker face, even through all those thoughts~.

... But seriously, now...

I put a hand on her shoulder as I rose from my seat. "Katrin. Go home. Get some sleep. Your doubt will pass as soon as you lay in your bed."

With that said, I made my way out of the dining room, leaving the shaken woman alone, having spent all of my remaining patience on her insanely high level Stockholm Syndrome.

I'm a fucking doctor, not a god damned psychiatrist!

"... If it's really that easy for you... Then why do you look so lonely, ... Klaus?..." Her voice was a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear.

Nevertheless, it's best to just ignore shit like this~.

Ahh, I can't wait to go fall into my royal bed!