Rampant Memory Of Klaus: The Kingdom of Exuperia is a newcomer nation upon the war-torn landscape of Terravest, having been born as the result of a "heroic" conquest of three separate nations by an outsider of awesome power. Jorrick Exuperius, real name unknown, appeared on Terravest for the first time some seventy years ago, with his first worthy deed of note being marching through the undead-infested desert lands of the Greymarch, supposedly alone with barely a set of rags and a pilfered, rusty iron sword to his name.
The Kingdom itself is large enough to be called an empire in its own right, with its landmass rivaling that of modern France, Spain and Italy combined.
It is bordered by the lower Worldwound mountain range in North, the Greymarch desert and the Vestilander mountains in the south, the Bladespine Fjords in the west and finally, by the great ocean all the way from the easternmost edges of the continent itself, all the way round and back to the Greymarch desert.
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Long and hard, thyne father hath toiled...
It is up to thee now, to continue his great work.
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And there it goes again!
Letters! Words! Sentences that I fully understand yet they seem to have no direct reasoning whatsoever.
They have no tone, no voice, not even a time at which they are spoken!
... But I can hear them, much the same way one would recognise their own inner monologue.
It's almost like I'm the one saying them. No, that I am the one who once said them?
..or do I have yet to say them?..
Past, present and future as one!
Why, it's almost as if I am here in full, with all three versions of my glorious self speaking, thinking and feeling at once~!
"A-are you alright, your majesty..?" Alas, my selfish musings were interrupted quite rudely by a fat man dressed in what looked like a silken, medieval tuxedo. His expression was completely flabbergasted, causing me to snort. "No, my dear councilor. I am currently experiencing a major identity crisis as my memories mix and match, my heroic father is dead as a result of my own actions and instead of helping me keep our ragged, exhausted nation together, ..." My tired expression twisted itself into a smirk of unbridled abhorrence towards my stunned public. ".. my greedy, power-hungry courtiers swarm me in this moment of weakness, each hoping to carve a piece for themselves, out of what they surely see as a freshly-murdered corpse."
Tethering on the brink of spite, tendrils of black shadow rise from the ground, coiling themselves around the man's throat, causing him and the onlookers to shiver and sweat profusely in the process as the fat man quickly guttered out to the best of his current capability. "M-my liege! P-please-!"
With an audible sigh, I let the man go, causing his large frame to drop to the floor with an equivalently loud thud. "Carrion, all of you."
Silence followed this incredulous accusation as the lord's and ladies around me reached with mixed expressions. Some were ashamed and bowed their heads down, others gritted their teeth and looked away with eyes full of hate, yet there were also those that just continued smiling, like that expressionless, grating Asmodeus.
God's, I have yet to remember why I hate the man so much, but my former self has certainly spent a large amount of time nurturing spite for this person.
A cough broke the silence as a knightly figure approached my throne and knelt before me, one hand on his sword even as both of his eyes shut themselves as an instinctual sign of trust. "Your highness, though the meaning of this council is of great importance, it is clearly not the right time to bother thy lordship with such matters." The being rose from its kneeling position, only for me to realize that I'm looking at a woman in knightly armour.
A quirked eyebrow was offered as I raked my brain for more information about this person of interest, only to discover the aftertaste of shame and ... Defeat? "And what course of action would you suggest that I take instead of being here, Knight-Commander?"
The red-haired, lithe frame of the tomboy in front of me seemed to shake with shock and awe as her title echoed from my lips, the perpetually stunned crowd faring no better than she herself. Thankfully, it did not take the woman long to recover, though this did leave me rather clueless as to why and what exactly got her so spooked in the first place. "I-I ... My lord's advice I-is that thy highness grants the lord's themselves the power to reside over matters such as these until your majesty has recovered from thy trials." She finished with a clearing of the throat and a strangely ashamed or perhaps blushing expression.
I let out a sigh. This woman was being used as the unfortunate intermediary for someone else, that much was obvious. Too obvious. Almost like it was a direct threat to my right to sit upon this throne~.
Unable to help myself, I turned to look at the coffin of my unburied and yet, supposedly heroic father, then asnwered her, as well as the court as a whole, with a grimace. "No."
Shaking my head out of my stupor, I turned back towards the court, apparently surprising many of them with my refusal. "Nay. My father may be legendary, but I do not doubt that he would understand the urgency of the situation and will not haunt any of us as an evil spectre for delaying his well-deserved burial." A laugh escaped me as a grin etched itself from ear to ear, unsettling the poor redhead next to me enough for her knees to visibly weaken.
Alas, nobody else laughed, giving the situation that deliciously amusing, uncertain air of awkwardness, causing me to sigh audibly yet again. "Speak then, o' lord's of the land, what matters of great import would you bring before thy king?"
Now this, it seemed, ruffled quite a few feathers, especially among the older members of this crowd of prehistoric raptors. One grey-haired individual in particular, adorned by numerous medals and other honours of war, exclaimed. "You are not our king yet, boy! Learn your place before I cut your hedonistic, sinful head clean off of your unworthy shoulders!"
Hedonistic? Sinful?... These words caused me to blink in confusion.
Such wording isn't something a former cancer survivor is likely to ever hear as a description of their person, so please forgive my momentary shock.
Silence filled the room once more as everyone turned to stare at the old man in complete disbelief.
Meanwhile, I pondered his words some more... What could he mean by them?
Surely, even if this body belonged to a prince, one such as I would always be above such foolishness as material pleasures? Then again, perhaps I should not be so quick to judge myself. After all, my memories are hazy at best and nonexistent at worst.
It was then that a certain red and gold robe caught my attention, as the silently observing priests smirked to themselves.
Ah! Of course! My coronation! I cannot truly call myself king until that event passes, now can I?
"Ahh, I see. I understand what you're trying to tell me." A familiar, deep chuckle escaped me, it's guttural cacophony once again stealing the attention of this mind-broken, drama-addled court. "How can I possibly call myself King, when my right to this crown has yet to be recognized by the will of heaven." My chuckles twisted into a beaming smile as I rose from my seat and walked over to the men of piety, bowing slightly before them as a group.
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They were stunned again, but only for the briefest of moments. "Your majesty wishes... For the Churches blessing, to settle thy right to rule?" Their leader, the guy with the biggest hat, phallic shaped as it was in all of its holy glory, spoke in a tone that managed to be both incredulous and greedy at the exact same time.
A nod was his answer, as I found myself smiling rather wickedly. "However, only the highest authority under heaven has the right to crown me." The priests smile instantly faded as he seemingly contemplated my offer, before his greedy expression returned and he bowed in turn, his face turning to the shadows as he did.
"It shall be arranged, your majesty~!" He responded with glee, a trait shared with most of his colleagues.
But not exactly the entirety of the present court. "Preposterous! This is beyond ridiculous!" The grey-haired old fool from before once again rose his voice in protest, his brown leather coat rattling metallically as he did, betraying his possession of a number of hidden weapons upon his person. "A man's right to rule is decided solely by their martial might! Of which your pathetic self has none, unlike thy great father, whom I believe I can hear rolling in this very coffin at the notion of you inheriting his throne!" The man walked forward aggressively, pointing towards the aforementioned coffin as he reached me, even if only to spit in my face.
Yet before I could reply, Asmodeus teleported in between us and blocked the raging bull of a man with a purplish-blue barrier of arcane magic. "While I do agree with you that corronating a king through the will of some unproven, ridiculous diety that was likely the result of a starved person creating an imaginary best friend is completely absurd..." Asmodeus dramatically opened his eyes as he struggled against the raw might of the old man for a few moments before continuing. "I must admit that I find it infinitely more diplomatic and worthy of a way than the war-loving, ceaseless bluster of you raging mutts that call themselves knights; as they raid, rape and enslave all they see like the overgrown and overglorified bullies that you are!"
Sparks flew between the two clear rivals as I deadpanned then both, shrugged, turned away and walked back to sit on my throne. After all, the more they fight each other, the less problems they make for me.
However, fate decided that this would not end so easily, as one of the priests rose with an expression of uncontrollable rage and fury. "Nay! The holy church will never submit to greed such as this! We shall not crown thee, demon! Especially not since you possess such disgusting, dark arcana!"
Having quite enough of being shut down by loudmouths, I focused my rage towards the priest as black tendrils once again rose from the ground menacingly... Alas, the priest did not budge and I willed the danger to his person away with a sigh, calming myself as I spoke. "Then what!?; would you have me do to prove to you that I am not a demon?"
He instantly leaped at the chance, despite the protesting crowd and walked towards me while rummaging through his splendorous robes, eventually taking out an oval bottle and presenting it for all to see. "As you may be aware, demon!; the holy lands under my jurisdiction are known for their ability to produce the very finest of blessed, holy waters!"
Giving me the bottle, he continued. "This valuable liquid has the power to obliterate even thinblood vampires to ash in an instant and terribly weaken all other forms of evil."
Quirking an eyebrow at him, I looked at the bottle. The liquid inside made no movement, even when I shook it. It had a clear, yellowish coloration that seemed to lightly glow, almost as if in defiance of the rooms grim atmosphere. Somehow, despite the yellow, it also managed to appear sterile.
Before the priest could continue, I uncorked the bottle and took in its scent with closed eyes as my public looked on in desperation and trepidation. It was... A very striking odor, one that made me cough and sent my nose into spasms of flaring heat, almost as if I just inhaled something I was allergic to, which in turn caused the priest to nearly leap for joy from where he stood, likely thinking that I just caught myself in his trap.
Thing is, this odor was familiar to me. Myself from the other world, that is!
With a smile, I sent the holy liquid straight down my throat and very nearly jumped off of my own throne as it's wonderful taste filled my very being. I also felt as if I was being purified, as if my very soul was dancing. My blood rushed freely as if it had just experienced a change in temperature and my flesh rejoiced, almost as if it was singing some toneless, wordless song~.
But soon enough, my high passed by as I remembered where I was. With a cough, I broke the shellshock of the crowd and the horror of the priest in front of me. "Thank you, priest! You've truly gifted me with high quality alcohol here! Please, I must know, is this plum?"
He stammered and nearly lost his balance at my response, crimson and gold draping swaying along with his shaken frame. "Wh- .. y-yes? It is blessed plum from the holy gard-" He shook his head, adopting another expression of pure anger as I felt my cheeks redden.
I did just down quite a bit of high-content moonshine, after all~.
"How dare thee, demon!? I am no mere priest! I am Archbishop Rex Sanctus!; and I shall smite thee no matter what vile tricks you p-" He rose his hand, summoning what looked to be a holy, white staff that gathered visible light at the top of a crystal in its core.
With a wave of my hand, a blood colored tendril sent the holy man flying to the other side of the room, as he had tested the limits of my patience. "Really, now? Guess I'll be keeping this bottle, then~."
Either way, I think it's high time we finished this idiocy. "In any case, king or not, I am the only one here that can solve your issues and is capable of doing so right now~." My sing-along tone echoes through the throne room, managing to take hold of the atmosphere once again, for now.
Narrowing my eyes, I managed to notice the fact that the redhead knight was still patiently standing, very, very still at the foot of the stairs which lead to my throne. I blinked at her and she turned towards me with begging eyes.
How awkward. "Errr... You can go back to your seat now, Knight-Commander."
She instantly bowed and began to move. "Thank you, your majesty!" With an embarrassed expression, she returned to her seat and exhaled in relief.
Man, it might because of the alcohol, but I kinda feel a little bad for her. Oh well~.
Asmodeus and the still-nameless highlord were both looking at me with surprised, but seemingly pleased expressions.
Needless to say, and much to both mine and the highlords chagrin, the Grand Wizard opened his damnable mouth first. "Your majesty, the issue we are trying to solve is the problem caused by the city of Hearkenhurst. Originally, it was a city belonging to my realm, but was unfortunately conquered by your father and given as a fief to Marques Frederick. Alas, the population there is still largely that of magic users and so their lord is unable to properly rule them, which is why they have petitioned me for protection..." He trailed off just as the highlord began to fume.
"Your majesty! Your father conquered that city and then gave it away as a reward to a loyal vassal!" His rage caused the wizard to smirk.
Unable to stop myself, I sighed. "Highlord, your emotions are being manipulated by your rival in order to cause you to lose face with both myself and the court in general. Calm thyself and present your case properly or give them the pleasure of successfully trapping you."
"G-guh?!" He appeared baffled and insulted, as Asmodeus bit his lip in frustration, causing the highlords eye to twitch."Y-you filthy k-knave..!" He muttered out, but seemingly managed to control himself from going any further.
With another furious look thrown towards Asmodeus, which the mage appeared unaffected by, the highlord let out a heated breath and continued. "Your.. highness. I am Highlord William The Lion, the current marshal of your armies. The city in question was a rightful, legal and deserved reward, the fruit of a long conquest! There is nothing there to consider about this situation."
"So you do not deny that the people in the city are being mistreated by their lawful lord?" I quirked an eyebrow at the man, causing him to scowl, but still manage to keep his composure.
"Nay, I do not, but what does it matter if some mages don't get to cast their spells and cause a disturbance every three seconds? The city is rightfully his. The will of peasants, mages or not, should matter about as much as the dirt beneath our feet!" He harrumphed at the end, likely for drama but I am not sure.
Rubbing my chin in thought, I thought about it all for a bit to find out how to use this to my advantage. Then, after a few moments, I rose my head to find both lord's looking at me with analytical eyes, reminiscent of would-be predators stalking prey.
It very nearly caused me to laugh. "A vassal war it is, then~."
Their expressions turned to shock, even Asmodeus looked perplexed. "A... Vassal war, my lord?" The mage asked.
"Yes. It is an inside war, so to speak. You two will settle your differences through battle on the condition that neither party is directly responsible for the others death, at the cost of complete dishonor. The battlefield itself will be done akin to a large duel, so to speak, which means that the two fighting should decide the when and the where it happens, without intreference from any third party. After the battle is complete, I shall oversee its events and decide on a final course of action. To the victor go the spoils, so long as that victor is without dishonor." I spoke with a smile as the highlord began to mimic my expression.
Alas that just would not do~!
"Ah, by you two, I meant you and the Marquis, not the highlord, Grand Wizard~." Asmodeus' expression twisted comically into one of great satisfaction.
"I see. Your majesty is very wise, indeed." He offered a curt bow.
To both our surprise, the highlord nodded. "You have no objections, William?"
He shook his head in negative. "Nay. This is a trial by honorable combat! As all right to rule should be decided. I have no objections!" He seemed to brighten up considerably due to this, causing me to shrug.
Relaxing back into my throne, I forced myself to speak. "Let us move on to the next issue then..."
Man.
Why'd my second dad have to die on the same day that I arrived? I'd have much more fun as a prince, free to do as I wish~.
...wait, could it be?..
Am I..?
My own father?!