You have lost a dungeon war. However, the victor has been merciful. You have not been destroyed, only reset.
Hidden in a hole on the first floor of it’s five-floor dungeon, adventurers just now entering the dungeon, at zero mana, and in the only pathway to the second floor, a black gem slowly flakes to pieces next to the uncontrolled creature holding it hostage.
“Oh fuck.”
“Language.”
“Oh scheiße.”
“Ok, what?”
“I just got a notification that I was drafted into a Dungeon War due to poor performance, and lost.”
“Oof, too bad. Will that affect your availability for the trade partnership?”
“No. The other dungeon was a weak fool who did not subsume me.”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Through a vitrified tunnel, the adventurers come across a room with locked doors, chests, and an altar in the center of the space. The three of them cautiously approach the center, finding it to be a stone slab indented with shapes and surrounded by writing; ‘Sword stretched toward the sun, the adventurers split their focus to destroy the foe they most suit.’
“Puzzles,” states Shooty grimly.
“Don’t panic,” replies Stabby, gesturing toward the tunnel entrance, “this place wasn’t here last week, so the puzzles can’t be that difficult. It takes time for dungeons to build up, and this is the first room. Basically an introduction to what the place is about.”
“I bet the things that go in the slots are in the chests,” Smashy contributes.
Adventurers weren’t always the smartest when comparing them to the random monsters they fought, like slimes, goblins, and kobolds, but most of them could figure out to put the square box into the square hole.
“They’re puzzle chests,” Shooty moans morosely.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Outside the sealed stone double doors of the dungeon, the two creatures were on the top of the slope next to the body, but still not doing anything about it.
“All I’m saying is that we haven’t been explicitly told to fix this human.”
“And all I’m saying is that it costs me absolutely nothing to do it. If we get ordered to do it after we’ve wandered off somewhere, we have to walk back up that slope.”
“It does too cost you something. You don’t regenerate as effectively when you’ve got the field up, anyone could shoot you in the face and anti-life you.”
“Like who? There’s no one around to shoot me. Unless you’re planning on it.”
“And how would you know I’m not? Anyone could shoot anyone at any time for no reason whatsoever.”
“At least I know you don’t have a weapon right now. You’d be begging for healing if you did.”
“Unfair using logic to determine I’m not aiming for your existence. These kinds of arguments are for emotion and fallacies only.”
The first creature decides to use an emotional response to that, and smacks the other upside the head. An energy flows out from its entire being, and the body the two were bickering over has its wounds start to seal shut.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Back in the altar room, Shooty stares at the contents of the ruined chests. Smashy had a most expedient method of solving the puzzle chests, that being his hammer, but the results were less than heartening.
“Why are there five of each shape?”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
"Instead of trying to solve the puzzle all at once, see how all the blocks are the same except one side? That means those sides are the only ones that could be the answer, since otherwise any of the blocks would work,” reasons Smashy, turning one of the five deltohedron over in his hands. “And this one has the sun on it. Do any of the other ones have a sun?”
A flurry of motion from the other two had them turn over thirty stone shapes over to determine what was on each side. None of the ten sided shapes had a sun other than the noted one; each image was doubled on the other side, making five per stone block. All of those had a picture of a shield, a sword, a bottle, and a flute, which by Smashy’s hypothesis meant the options for the correct answer would be one of the sun, the moon, a star, a key, or a jigsaw puzzle piece. Going through the other sets of shapes proved that there were in fact no suns of any sort. One of the cubes was even completely blank.
“Alright. So this piece goes into the hole, sun facing toward the center, and the dial in the middle with all the pieces on it has the sword facing toward the sun. That leaves the rogue, the bard, the cleric, and the wizard with slots to fill, and the fighter doesn’t need to face anything at all,” Smashy logically deduced, “and with the positions established, we can see which opponents each party member would be best against in that shape group. Beyond that, the patterns probably repeat again so we could eliminate options that way.”
“Ugh, there are way too many steps for this thing to be the first puzzle of a beginner dungeon,” complains Shooty, “why can’t they be simple like the door puzzle to get in here?”
“Because now we’re actually in the dungeon,” states Stabby, “which means it has a reason to keep us here.”
The two uneasily look toward the ceiling and walls. No vents start hissing poisonous smoke, no monster drops from above upon their suspicions. Smashy continued checking through the die shaped blocks, and the other two decided soundlessly to keep an eye out for any sort of change in their surroundings.
“Got it,” announced Smashy, “since this group had the blank one, only have three options for the rogue. It’s not the knight, lich, pile of vines, slime, ball of fire, or nothing, so there’s a zombie, a skeleton, a ghost, or a mage. Pretty sure you can’t stab a ghost, and that slitting a zombie’s throat doesn’t do much, so that leaves the mage.”
“And there’s three more of these? How long are we going to be stuck here?” Shooty asks rhetorically.
“Less time if you help,” replies Smashy, a bit of irritation in his tone, “It’s not hard to go ‘hey there’s two of this one, can’t be those’.”
“Shooty, you keep being prepared to do your thing to anything that tries to attack us, I’ll start going through the triangles.”
A few moments pass, and then both of them have new results to share.
“This thing is for the cleric. Knight, the vine thing, and the mage are all out, which leaves this assassin guy, a dragon, the moon, a lightning skeleton, and a jigsaw puzzle piece. Pretty obvious that the undead are weak against clerics though,” says Smashy.
“Mine has multiples of devil, golem, and some sort of giant monster. That leaves a chest, a bottle, a ball of fire, the vines again, and a giant army,” Stabby adds in.
“That goes to mage, and I have no clue about that one. We’ll just leave it to last and do the other one.”
Remaining unchecked was the pile for the bard. Those were tubes of stone with an image on each side. The two adventurers quickly started shouting out what was on each side to the other, trying to determine which images were doubled.
“Dragon!”
“Rat! Next one.”
“Golem!”
“Assassin! Next.”
“Skeleton!”
“Knight! Next.”
“Assassin, not it.”
“Skeleton, not it.”
“Dragon, not it.”
“Knight, not it.”
“So it’s either a golem, which is a mindless creature bards can’t do anything with, or a rat.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“Definitely rat.”
“What a dunk on bards.”
The two slide the cylinder into the bard slot, and check the pyramids in the wizard spot one after the other, until the army slots into place and the three doors click open. With a nod toward each other, having confirmed through this room there weren’t actually any traps or monsters to ambush them while they were solving the puzzles, the three split to check the left, forward, and rightward puzzle door rooms.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Outside the dungeon, the aura receded. A completely intact human now laid on the depressed button, whereas before it was a collection of limbs, attached to each other but too broken to be called a person.
“See, no one shot me.”
“Luck.”
“Proper observational skills.”
“Oh yeah? Then why didn’t you notice the gun pointed at your head?”
“No, no, I did. You wouldn’t shoot your healer after damaging yourself so much to produce one of those things just to have a good line.”
“Damn you and your bluff calling.”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
“This is taking forever,” whispered the creature to the gem floating beside it. “Why can’t you just open the door?”
“I could, but you’ve yet to give me any reason to allow intruders easier access. My survival is of utmost importance, both to myself and to you… If you want to receive any benefits from our deal, of course.”
“Where’s the trust? I’ve got a plan, but that plan involves doing things quickly, and not talking about the plan for ages. I’m sure I’d survive long enough to explain, but you probably wouldn’t, particularly since you’re flaking.”
“Of course I’m flaking, your presence is by far outstripping the passive mana gain from those invaders, and that’s not even accounting for all the monsters living off the dungeon mana. I need drastic change, and the zero mana I have now is not going to manage it.”
“Well, try checking the lowest level.”
“It’s… An underground cistern. That’s enough water to power a dungeon that produces hundreds of monsters a day!”
“Ah, so that’s what’s down there. Didn’t you know? I had to chase you down while you were boring directly toward it earlier.”
“My map function told me there was an open area down below. A natural cave would provide commensurate natural mana generation, which I could leverage to offset the negative generation I find myself saddled with.”
“And yet, I notice you are still flaking.”
“Due to the nature of my… Removal from my previous dungeon, I am left with deep imperfections within my structure. Obviously, such flaws are unsuitable for a gemstone of my magnificence, and so I must sacrifice carets to fix the underlying problem before I can grow back to my full power.”
“I think the door just opened. Down the hole you go.”
“How dare yooooooou-”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Cautiously stepping into the room, Stabby immediately notices the first trap of the dungeon. A large ‘rug’ of fabric, similar to the one they had passed on the way into the previous puzzle room. The center was sagging into the ground, clearly covering a pit extremely badly. The room was three times the width of the pit, so he simply walked to the side and went around the giant hole. Stuck to the far side of the wall, a door stood tall. Three keyholes, and a poem adorned the spearpoint portal blocking the way deeper in.
“Across time, summer looks at her compatriots. Before, the guard of life, beyond the waning of it. Life burns brightly.”
Stabby considers for a moment.
“Completely pointless nonsense.”
He turns away from the locked door, and starts heading back to the central chamber to inform the others of the dead end. As he steps near the obvious trap however, he hears a soft wail within his mind, sinking into metaphorical depths. Deciding on his course of action instantly, he stabs out at the cloth. The greatsword pierces the fabric easily, but below a force slams the weapon into the side of the stone pit, pulling the cover with it. Before Stabby can react, a handful of grit jabs into his eyeballs. He keeps a hold on his weapon, but is unable to connect with the fleeing creature that hit him with pocket sand before it escapes.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Shooty looked over the shallow pit with symbols emblazoned upon various tiles. Glancing around the empty room, he looks at the ten centimeter deep hole in the very center of the arrangement.
“What the hell.”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Casually walking into the rightward room, Smashy sees the braziers in each of the corners, and the torch on the wall. Ignoring the pile of tiles in the center of the room, he pulls the flaming stick off the wall and ignites the coals in each of the obvious places. At the far end of the room, and the left wall, doors slide down as a chime rings out for a puzzle solved.
“Easy beginner dungeon.”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Avery wakes up. She was not in that dungeon anymore. If the spell didn’t work...
She blinked.
Déjà vu. Sitting up straight, she feels as though she had experienced this before. The river outside her cave didn’t exist, but the capitol certainly did.
“Hey, what happened? Is the dungeon war over?”
The two invaders looked at each other.
“No idea, and, also, no idea,” says the one on the left. “I mean, we just got here. I healed you, that one threatened to kill me, and nothing else has happened.”
Avery sits up straighter.
“Where did thirty one go? You look like the same type of creature.”
“Haven’t seen it yet. Might have gotten distracted by something shiny, that happens a lot.”
“There was the acid, and it dissolved everything down to the bone. And that horrible maw..."
“Look, I don’t know what it told you, but I can only deal with physical injuries. I’m not a psychiatrist.”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Down on the second floor, the gemstone sits below the hole leading upward. Normally when it had time to itself, it could focus on monster spawn rates and trap placement. Right now, it didn’t have the blueprints to any of the monsters it would like to summon, and needed to focus on the rate it burnt away mass, so it didn’t overshoot the crack. At the most, it would be able to micromanage the units it already had.
Slimes.
Lesser slimes.
It had spent hundreds of mana it didn’t have the last time it was conscious. These lesser slimes weren’t even enough to slow down that infuriating monster, even in the mass quantity it had summoned. Now that it had slaughtered its way through them, they would prove to be less than a nuisance to any invader that tried to make their way down to its innermost depths.
There were only…
Actually there were far more than it had summoned. And they had evolved. It could work with that. Slimes were well known to be versatile when they evolve.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
She didn’t need therapy. She just needed the universe to stop flipping around. And some space.
“Back off a bit, I just fought some sort of massive necromantic construct that only spoke in the most disturbing possible ways.”
“Oh, you and thirty-one had a fight?” consoles the healing creature.
“I doubt any human would refer to any thirty-one as ‘massive’,” interjects the one holding some sort of metal bar.
“There’s not been a conversation between him and me that hasn’t been antagonistic,” Avery responds.
“Oh, he. Maybe this one was referring to the thirty-one.”
The door to the dungeon slides open. Before she could react to the feeling of having been dragged off a cliff in this exact scenario, Avery sees the thirty-one sprinting out.
“What happened, and why am I out here?” she asks, pressing herself against the stone wall to prevent a repetition of the cliff.
“No time to explain,” it says, running past her to the other two creatures. It grabs both their heads, and they start a group huddle, whispering at each other, leaving Avery completely out of the loop.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Stabby almost gives into his instincts to chase down the hengeyokai on his own, before remembering how stupid of an idea it would be to not let anyone know where it was going. As soon as he passes the doorway into the center room, he beelines directly to the door Smashy had gone into. He was the one more likely to solve puzzles, and thus go further into the dungeon without any intervention.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Smashy could have gone further into the dungeon, since he’d already solved the puzzle and opened the door, but the tiles were still a mystery to examine. They had a set of nine symbols on them, and came in an assortment of shapes. There didn’t seem to be any pattern in how the symbols were arranged on the tiles themselves, other than that no symbol had been directly next to another of its type on the same piece. There was one that had two copies of two symbols on one two by two grid, but that was a rarity. With nine symbols, it was rare to get the same one anywhere on the tile.
As if to deliberately interrupt his thought process, Stabby barges into the room and immediately starts yelling.
“Quit solving puzzles and come back, he got past me and is escaping!”
“Fine, but we’re definitely exploring this place later, it’s great!”
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Both of the knowledgeable ones head toward Shooty’s room, only to find him already entering the central chamber.
“The puzzle is impossible,” he informs them.
“Well, we’re leaving anyway. Hengeyokia got past me, it’s out there somewhere now,” Stabby informs him.
“There was just a pit with a bunch of random symbols on it. There was nothing to do,” he continues.
“Yeah,” states Smashy, “the pieces are in my room.”
“This place is the worst. We better not come back,” Shooty continues, walking out of the dungeon.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Taking stock of the various slimes within the dungeon, the core files the abilities of each for future reference. There were the generic lesser slimes, which were completely useless. However, some of the lesser slimes had evolved to regular slimes. Those were somewhat durable, and were capable of engulfing a medium sized creature, rendering them helpless and potentially dead if they remained engulfed long enough to asphyxiate.
Yellow slimes were almost as useless as regular lesser slimes, but their adhesive innards could slow a creature’s movements if it caught the spray upon killing it.
The orange slimes though, those were useful. They were acidic enough to burn a creature down to the skeleton… Assuming they were slow enough to stand directly in its path long enough for the fragile bag of liquid to make its way over to them and burst directly on top of the invader. Generally they were just as large of a hazard to every other slime, or more so, than for an intruder. With a dungeon core directing them, though, they might actually be able to accomplish something.
Blue slimes, on the other hand, were far better for all dungeon purposes than the other types. As the defensive bodies of a slime nest, they had deadliness, a moderate turning radius, and the ability to leap at a target. Their only weakness was that they were still evolved from lesser slimes, and would die from a single blow, including from other blue slimes if they attacked the same target.
But what the core had at the last made every slime in the entire dungeon worthwhile. It had a Greater Blue Slime. The rotating wheel of teeth, the biological spine boomerangs, the infectious tooth explosion ability. Any lesser slime struck by a fired tooth would evolve into a blue slime. Any human struck by the tooth would have a hole there instead. The teeth would deflect blades. The boomerangs would slice an invader in half.
Perhaps it was time for a change.