Tears of a City ~ The City

The world was lost in the jungle.

The steel and stone trees

made them all look like fleas

feasting on a mangy mongrel;

this world’s a swollen bitch,

and they were the pests

that caused the terrible, festering itch

beneath her filthy, sagging breasts.

They’re not here anymore.

You’re all gone.

This story was written

after your time.

He made many of you blink from existence. ( t h e k i l l e r )

They gave birth to me at some point or other.

I watched them give birth to themselves,

or at least what they became:

a brief moment of c o n s c i o u s n e s s

that resulted in a lack thereof.

I watched as what was left,

after he carved his mark,

ran into my gutters

where I drank the blood of my builders’ children,

and as I drank,

I cried

with the patter of rain and

wail of sirens.

I prayed,

perhaps the weeping cleans me,

deeply,

Of that which has

Possessed my

Being, perverting my forgotten purpose:

Why did the builders make me?

____

Dave was on his lunch, sitting in his car and enjoying the passing of time. His life today had given him a catharsis greater than any art could make him imitate; Dave didn’t feel so heavy anymore, freed from the chains bound to his face and neck. He didn’t feel elated, merely grounded and real, something that had eluded him for quite some time.

He gave a digested explanation as to why his face was stained with tears and why he was late: “I’ve just had a bad day.” He served to gain nothing from sharing anymore. Catharsis had done what it could. He missed his sister. She wasn’t coming back. Que sera, sera.

I’ve been through bad. I’ve been through worse. I don’t have to concern myself with just my own misunderstanding of things. My wife has been going through something for a long time; she works harder than me, and she gets more done than me. I think she does. I’ll imagine she does because the point is she works hard, and I can work harder. This way of looking at things is useful to me. I can’t wait to get home and see her.

Dave’s time was up. He had to go back out to work. He was excited to keep the evening moving; he wanted to get as far away as he could from his mistakes and misery. He wanted opportunities to redeem himself. He sought the value brought with virtue. It made him feel stronger, wiser, healthier, happier-- just better, in this moment at least. If I’m going to be in the show, I’m going to play the part better than anyone ever has.

He went back out onto the floor. “I’m back!” he said over the headset, his fresh mood coating his voice sweet with honey. For better or for worse, he lived like he always had: like if nothing had happened.

“Welcome back,” said Riley just as sweetly. “You’re going to be on the front now. Does that work?”

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

“Sounds great, boss!”

Dave went to the front register and assigned. The bottom cash drawer popped out around his knees; it never made sense to Dave how someone could overlook the impracticality of this setup, but today it didn’t bother him. He had assigned later in the evening, so he expected to see only a handful of customers. Most of his time was going to be spent with his hands soaking in dish soap and sanitizer water, and he was in a good place with this. He tossed dishes from one sink to another with a certain levity, whistling the refrain from “Yes, the River Knows.”

What a blessing it is to have a job, even a miserable one. It’s something. I’ll hold on while I can in this crazy world where I’m a king and a slave all at once, all in a moment. This fast-food factory is life and death, and I’m grateful to prosper with one and learn from the other.

“Wow, okay! That guy was a jerk,” said Jess over the headset.

“What happened?” asked Dave, taking the bait.

“He just complained about his drink and wouldn’t let me fix it. He said, ‘it’s always wrong, every time I come here. You’ll just make it wrong again.’ Then he drove off before I could say anything.”

“What a dick.”

“I know, right? It’s like, at least tell me what you want so I can do it the way you want. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Absolutely! You’re a person, not a robot.”

“Even if I was a robot, you still have to tell me what you want so I could execute the order.”

“Well yeah, but I mean you can compromise and be reasoned with. It sounds like he didn’t even take the time to do that.”

“People are absolute jerks to us. Do you know why? It’s because they think they’re customers, and so they think they’re always right.”

Don’t you think you’re always right? thought Dave with a dash facetiousness, tempted to ask aloud. He decided against it. It could only progress the conversation in an aggressive manner whether he meant it that way or not. “That statement is logically fallible, you know?”

“What statement?” asked Jess. Dave could tell he’d slightly offended her because she had no idea what he meant. She must think I’m implying that she said something stupid.

“That ‘the customer is always right.’ It’s impossible; no sect of human beings is completely infallible, so how can all customers possibly be right if all customers are human? I think whoever first said it must have meant it as a sarcastic criticism rather than a philosophy of service,” explained Dave.

“Yeah, but it’s so ingrained in our society that everyone thinks it’s true. Customers always think that they’re right and you’re wrong, and we have to put them first.”

“Bullshit!” said Dave with more of the same levity, tossing an imaginary red flag in the air. That started an argument he didn’t realize he was about to have

“What do you mean? If I don’t do what they say, I could lose my job.”

“That’s not true; you’re a human, not a robot. You have the right to refuse service to whoever you want,” explained Dave.

“No, I don’t. I could lose my job.”

The argument only existed because they were talking about two different things: Dave was referring to what should happen as though it would, and Jess was referring to what could happen as though it would. Neither one of them had the conversational wherewithal to help the other understand they were seeing the elephant from different sides.

“You’re not going to lose your job because you told someone to have a good day; that’s not the way things work here.”

“Yes, it is. It’s almost happened to me before.”

“What? Here?”

“No. At another store, but yes, with the same company.”

“Well, it sounds like you had a pretty crappy manager if that’s the case,”

“No, I liked him. Eric was really good at his job.”

“Okay,” said Dave with the winking eye of skepticism. Just because you got along with him doesn’t mean he was good at his job. “But, what exactly happened?”

“This African-American woman came in and was standing about ten feet away from the register like she was looking at the menu. I don’t think I noticed her at first because I was cleaning fridges or drains or something, so she might have stood there for a while. When I did notice her, I asked her how she was doing, and she said ‘are you going to serve me or not?’ which really caught me off guard. I asked her what she had said, and she said it again but louder and more aggressive. I remember saying ‘yeah, if you’re ready’ and she did not like that. She went into a tirade about ‘of course I’m ready! I’ve been standing here for fifteen minutes’ and ‘the only reason you won’t serve me is because I’m black’ and then she said she wanted to speak to my manager. When I told her that he wasn’t here, she made me give her his number, wrote down my name, and stormed off.”

“Okay, so you were a victim of belligerence,” said Dave, making sure he understood where this was going. “Go on.”

“I wasn’t though,” said Jess. “I was in the wrong because I had ignored her.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” said Dave. “You hadn’t ignored her, you just hadn’t noticed or realized she was ready. It’s not like she tried to get your attention, right?”

“But, I was the one who got in trouble. She was the one in the right.”

Once again, they were talking about two completely different things: Dave was referring to the reality and Jess was referring to the way things had been perceived. We are not on the same page, and I can’t think of a way to make her understand me. I’m on her side; why is she even fighting me?

“She called Eric,” said Jess. “And the next day, he came up to me and said ‘we need to talk.’ He asked me if I had really said these things, asked me if I had used the ‘n-word,’ and told me that they might have to let me go. He said this woman was really upset and was threatening to sue.”

“Like I said, you had a crappy manager; he should have stood by you. He knew you personally, knew you wouldn’t have said those things, and knew that you had never done anything like this before.”

“But, it was still my fault.”

“How was it still your fault?”

“Because I had ignored her.”

“You didn’t ignore her. You hadn’t noticed her because she was ten feet away from the register!” said Dave, his voice reaching higher and higher for pitches. He refused to understand how she believed why things had happened.

“-Or was it because I was being racist? Had I not noticed her because she was African-American?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there. Do you not like black people or something?”

“No, I don’t have a problem with African-Americans, but she’s right that I was being oppressive by ignoring her.”

“Did you do it on purpose?”

“I don’t think I did, but I might have. Who knows? If she had been white, I might have noticed her.”

“And if she’d stepped up to the register, signaling that she was ready to order, you probably would have noticed her as well.”

“Oh, so if she’s white she can stand back ten feet, but because she’s African-American she has to step up to the register. Is that what you’re saying?”

“No! I’m saying that any customer who happens to be ready to order needs to step up to the register to infer that they are ready. I’m saying that you were a victim of slander and that your manager should have had the brains to realize that’s what was happening. Good team members come before crappy customers.”

“Well, that’s not how it is.”

“But, that’s how it should be!” said Dave.

“I’m gonna miss you guys,” said Riley.