Business at the store slowed from a torrent to a trickle then an awkward drip like a calm evening after a heavy storm. Everyone cleaned with a hurry and hope of going home. The store was empty except for two people sitting separately, each busy on their laptops. Dave, Riley, and Tom were closing once again.

“You guys ready for Christmas?” asked Dave

“Well, it is, in fact, on its way, so there’s that to say about it. I’m actually a little excited to work it this year,” said Riley. “I’m hoping the extra money from tips this season can go toward finishing off my car loan or else I’m going to have to find another job.”

“Dude, I’ve been listening to Christmas music since November first. I’m ready, dude,” said Tom.

“We’ve all be listening to Christmas music since November first; that’s when they started playing it in the store,” said Riley.

“I’m so hyped though!” said Tom, almost squealing.

“I think I’ve asked this before, but I don’t think I got a good answer: why do you two come to work? What motivates you?” asked Dave.

“You’re always asking that,” said Riley. “This is just work, man. You’re making it way too deep.”

“Well, I just have a lot of trouble rationalizing my sustenance. Why do I continue to exist?” “Why do you keep pontificating with such big, dumb words?” asked Riley in that sarcastic way only friends and family understand.

“You mean you don’t want to be alive?” asked Tom.

“I don’t know. Should I?” asked Dave. He was objective and earnest, but not despairing.

“Of course you should,” said Tom. “Why wouldn’t you want to be alive?”

“Does my opinion really matter? Why do we put so much significance in our own volition?” asked Dave. “Because, you don’t have anything else,” said Riley. “There is nothing more to you than what you want. Why not pursue it?”

“I don’t know… It just feels selfish,” said Dave.

“Well, killing yourself is a hell of a lot more selfish,” said Riley.

“So, you’re telling me my only options are between selfish and less selfish?” asked Dave.

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“No. Go to soup kitchen. Volunteer at a food pantry. If you won’t do something for yourself, do something for someone else,” said Riley. “There is no rhyme or reason; just go do something.”

“Why though? What value can I create with my existence if value is based on the existence of everyone else? We’re all going to die, so what does anything I do matter?”

“That’s the thing: it doesn’t matter. There is no meaning, for better or for worse. You can do whatever you want. You can be whoever you want.”

“Dadgummit Riley: I don’t want to be my own god. I don’t want to define right and wrong; what gives me more authority to do that than anyone else?”

“It’s your life, dude. That’s what gives you the authority to define what’s right and wrong for you. How are those fridges coming?”

“They’re good. They’re fine, but what I’m saying is that if I’m the only one in my life who defines things, and I can only define them for myself, then the only value is my own opinion, and I don’t find it all that valuable if I’m the only one to whom it’s supposed to be valuable.”

“Dude, word economy: you’re talking too much,” said Riley.

“You don’t think this is worth talking about?” asked Dave.

“No, not right now. Get the fridges done.”

“But, I kind of see Dave’s point,” said Tom. “I don’t think we can really define the value of life all by ourselves.”

“Yeah!”

“That’s why popular opinion determines life’s values.”

“No.”

“Okay, but for those opinions to occur,” began Riley, “you still have to define for yourself what’s right and what’s wrong, and these things are completely circumstantial. No one can tell you how to live your life.”

“So, the only way I’m going to find fulfillment is by defining what’s fulfilling and going for it?” asked Dave.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“And, you really believe I have the power to command my own destiny?”

“Well, that’s kind of up to you, dude. Are you going to do what it takes? Are you going to get those fridges clean?”

“I told you, they’re clean. I might be proud enough to accept that viewpoint if I didn’t believe that so much occurred because of happenstance; sometimes people are just in the right place at the right time.”

“But, they still have to do the right thing.”

“But, they’re still not in control. That control is just an illusion.”

“Feels pretty real to me. Feels pretty real to say that if I don’t go to work, I don’t have a chance of making any money.”

“So, the goal isn’t to control anything, the goal is just to rig the dice.”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Why is that the goal?”

“You set it, not me.”

“So, the goal is arbitrary?”

“Dave, everything is as arbitrary as you make it.”

“No, it’s not!” said Tom. “When I get my degree, I’ll qualify for a better job; I don’t decide whether or not I qualify, it’s objectively decided by others that I qualify.”

“Okay, but if you don’t apply for better jobs, then getting your degree was completely arbitrary. If you can’t find a better job, then getting your degree was completely arbitrary.”

“But, he’s not necessarily the reason he can’t find a better job,” said Dave. “He could do everything right and still not get hired. He doesn’t have control over that. All he can do are the things he knows will stack the odds. He still has to roll the dice. They still have to hit the backboard. He still doesn’t have control.”

“Dave, these fridges are not clean.”

“See what I mean! I did everything I knew to do, but I have no control over your definition of clean.”