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Everyday normal guy (WiP)
0.001 New Testament

0.001 New Testament

Five minutes later I went back to my not-really-that-comfortable chair and after taking it apart, as much as possible with the tools I had at hand, I checked if there’s anything light and useful I can take with me in the case I am not able to come back to this place. In my hands I ended up with a pair of bearings, a hydraulic suspension system, an impromptu dull awl constituting a height level control lever, a metal plate from the body of the chair skeleton and an improvised bag made out of the chair coverings. The screwdriver I usually keep in my pocket really saved me this time…Odd habits for the win.

After all that I decided to turn off my mobile phone again, at least until I reach higher ground. And again I picked the same direction to head to, but this time with a club looking hydraulic suspension system over my right shoulder and an improvised bag full of the rest of the scavenged parts over my left one.

I consider myself a lucky person who almost never works toward the chances presented to him by fate. This time’s luck must’ve been one of those rare cases when things don’t go as well as one would like them to. There is no tilt! The ground that is, it is almost absolutely flat. I’ve been walking for a while now and the sun is already up, but there has been no change in the scenery. Still forest. Still surrounded by vegetation on six sides. Still flat ground and I’m still the only person around here!

Maybe I should be thankful there’s just my humble self. What if there was… something else in this forest?

‘How did I even get here?!’

Assuming higher ground to be unreachable or rather nonexistent the only high places left around are growing in a forest near me. Climbing trees it is then! Let us see if you can stop me, World! Even though walking around so far may have sounded easy it was in fact quite arduous. In a moment I was able to find a good candidate for breaking the never-before-set record for highest point in this world reached by me to date and after unloading any sensitive equipment from my persona, I went ahead and just scaled it.

Even though there were many places I could grab to steady myself while climbing, it was still tiresome and I nearly cut my palms on the bark on multiple occasions. The virgin skin on my hands really isn’t used to this. Although I’m no virgin as far as climbing trees goes it has really been a while since I last did that. The other thing too.

When I reached sufficient distance from the ground I was able to see there are some mountains peaks in the distance to the north, but they were quite far away from here and there was no actual point in going there right now. The forest was endlessly continuing to the south and the east, but a point at which it abruptly ends was visible to the west. So after looking around a bit more and descending with difficulty, I set my course...the same way I was already heading up till now.

It could’ve been an understatement when I said moving through a forest is hard. It was in fact WAR. Man against nature sort of thing. Never did I know climbing trees and walking around a dense forest is so strenuous. I could already write a book recommending all those people staying inside for days, to get **** out there more, in case suddenly one day they wake up in the middle of a jungle…

The celestial fire was already nearing the middle of its daily pilgrimage when I heard some heavy rustling to the left of the general direction I was heading to. Immediately I armed myself with some stones comfortable enough to be used as deadly weapons by me. Or at least that’s what I wanted to do, in the reality I was currently in there were barely any suitable specimen for the use of defending one self. 

Most of the rocks that were found were at best suitable for distracting a wild beast. Since There’s a small chance the rustling came from a person I headed upwind with caution, in the same direction the sound came from. My club was at the ready, in a batting stance. Home Run mode was also enabled.

It definitely wasn’t human. Not even humanoid. In fact I haven’t seen anything like this before even on AnimalPlanet. The creature looked like a young oversized hound, but it had the eating habits of a hog and some of its burliness and low posture too. It was attempting to unearth something. Fortunately it hadn’t noticed me. I knew it, staying at home and eating a little pays off after all! I’ve turned completely 2D by now! Retaking the route I used to arrive at the vantage point, I slightly distanced myself from the, let us call it a pig for now.

After some consideration I decided to attempt to scare it away from the direction I was heading in. Scouring the ground, I found a few more pebbles of suitable size. I then picked up a tree that would allow my masterful throwing skills to reveal themselves at maximum capacity or in other words to allow me to throw the stones as far away as possible.

Finishing all preparations needed I climbed up and stood on a low branch. I felt so hot and the sun was not even at its highest point yet.

When everything was ready, I aimed a bit to the right from the theoretical current location of the pig and threw a whistling pitch. It flew so fast I couldn’t even see it! A second later I heard a *thud* sound coming from the base of the tree I was standing on.

Ok. Take two!

I stare. I aim. I shoot! 

My girlie pitch at least got a bit further than last time. It even managed to arrive at the place I was aiming at, making a sound by ricocheting off the trunk of a tree and shooting in the bushes.

I threw another one and surprisingly I managed to get the same result. Bumping off the tree trunk, falling in a bush.

The heavy rustling had already stopped even on the first try. And the second stone produced even more results!

Unfortunately not the results I was looking for! The darned pig was actually going in the direction of the sound instead of getting scared by it! What a fearless pig! It’s nothing like the stories.

I immediately took aim at the opposite direction and threw stones one after the other.

Then I quickly got down from the branch I was on, as silently as possible and after walking away as quietly as possible, as further away from the rustling as possible, I quickened my pace as much as possible.

Fortunately the excellent tactics performed by the unrivalled me had succeeded in luring the foolish beast away from my current and possibly future positions.

As I was making way through the dense vegetation something in a crevice of a truck sized rock drew my attention.

The hole was glowing.

At the base of the crevice, growing from the ground there was something that looked like a mushroom.

In retrospect I really shouldn’t have been indulging in my curiosity in the middle of the day, in a forest, without food or water, nor a safe haven to return to.

The shape of the mushroom was just like a vortex. Not just your usual capped mushrooms. No, Mario ate all of those. This one was different, you needed but a single look to know it is special.

What's so special about it you ask?

It is, of course, because it was emitting a rainbow colored light specs in all directions floating away from it.

Later on I learned this type of mushroom is a great catalyst used primarily in a certain field of science.

I wavered for a second, uneasy if this beautiful sight was dangerous or not, but in the end decided to poke it with a stick. Literally. I acquired a custom made dead branch and exposed it to the light specs.

It had no effect on it whatsoever.

Next on the list were insects. I managed to find a caterpillar looking thing in the vicinity, attached it to the branch and stuck the improvised testing probe back in inside the glowing hole. Depending on the perspective it could be viewed as a hole on a stick. Rock on a stick?

After a while I finally managed to ‘catch’ one of those specks with the insect. In the process of doing so I once again realized how much I need to practice my eye-to-hand coordination.

When the light touched the caterpillar… nothing happened. It similarly to the dead stick it simply passed through it.

Just to be safe I found another kind of bug and repeated the experiment, yielding the same results this time as well.

It was now the time for the final confirmation. What is that mysterious light? Is it actually there or am I still sleeping in my chair in front of the still running pc and this is all just a dream?

When the light touched me I experienced a familiar warmness. I really didn’t want to get even warmer than I already am! This place is just so hot! Is every ‘outside’ this hot?!

Well, I don’t really hate it That much. I love summer. I just like complaining a bit. You think I’m complaining too much? Who even asked you for your opinion!

Yes, lack of Internet access may cause permanent split personality issues  or even brain damage. Kids, be careful. Don’t get left out without Internet access. Ever. Listen to your parents and do your chores.

After a few more light specs entered my hand I noticed something peculiar. They never came out!

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But since it was giving me a kind of cozy feeling, I decided to just to pick up the mushroom, carry it with me and move on. I’m a man with a mission after all!

While the whole ordeal around the mushroom didn’t bring any ground shaking discoveries there was a little something I noticed as I was walking forward and keeping my eyes and ears open at the surroundings.

Something akin to a fog or a smog, or a haze was in the air. Around the trees, grass, above the ground, in the wind and even just barely surrounding the bugs and birds.

It appeared anything of substance had that haze around itself.

The more I walked the more I noticed it. The more I noticed it, the more apparent it became.

I also noticed the only place there wasn’t any of that mystery fog, was around me.

After a quick observation it became clear my body was absorbing it!

And as it was absorbing it… the process was slowing down. Quite slowly in fact. At the current speed it wouldn’t stop anytime today or tomorrow.

Of course I didn’t know that yet. I just knew I’m sucking in the surrounding fog like a professional prostitute a client, like an alcoholic his first drink of the day, like a chain smoker- well you get the idea.

Thinking back to the light specks produced by the magic mushroom I took it out to observe it again.

There was a change since last time.

Aren’t those… The light specs have begun to look suspiciously like energy motes, earth spirits, fae, wisps and the likes. 

While I was marvelling at the spectacle I was starting to feel hotter and hotter. At some point in time it had gotten bad enough to get me alarmed about my current physical condition. As well as making me wonder if the specs of light produced by the mushroom may contain some kind of poison.

But the light motes were just too interesting. Holding the mushroom in one hand and trying to interact with them with the other I was still moving forward. Even so slowly.

My flesh would gobble them just like it’d eat up the surrounding haze, but I noticed if they have sufficient entry speed they would actually manage to slip out of the other side of my hand.

Apparently there was a limit to my ability to absorb them.

So interesting. It seems if there’s a turbulence of the same element or attribute as the mote in its surroundings, when its entering me, it actually manages to preserve more energy before it leaves.

Does that mean the best state to absorb this stuff is by staying completely still in a calm environment?

On the other hand it also behaved a bit like a liquid and a gas. Moving from places with higher concentration to places with lower. Can I guide this stuff somehow?

No. Wait. This is probably just the observable half.

Could it be it behaves like gas when in gaseous environment and like solid when in solid environment? 

It takes properties similar to the substance it has attached itself to?

So magical.

For the time being and lack of better understanding I’ll just assume it is actual magic or rather magic power. Magic Particles? MP? Why do all mages end up dealing with MP…?

So does that mean there are all different types of mana? Hard mana, soft mana, liquid mana, air mana?

Pervert mana?

Wait, wait, wait. Last type doesn’t really count. *kohon* Anyway.

These things… *pokes a mote*.

“WHAT?!“

Did it just react to the poke?!

*pokes again*

“…”

‘No reaction.’

*pokes again*

“Oh!” so there just was a trick to it. Maybe? I examined the finger I used to poke the mote with and discovered its tip had a tiny aura streaming out of it.

‘So interesting. Irresistibly so.’

Though, somehow simply poking the light motes felt somewhat exhausting.

‘Is there no rest for the wicked?’

Later on I reasoned ever since I arrived in this world, up to that point my body had only been accumulating mana among other things. And poking motes was actually a way to interact with nature spirits or just almost any kind of spirit, by expending some mana. And, of course, would usually require some kind of training or a super genius to do it effortlessly.

In addition, among the other things my body has been accumulating was a certain category the contents of which were extremely troublesome. You’re probably wondering what it is, aren’t you? Or did you guess it?

Well let me ask you another question. When you travel abroad, visiting a new country, a place you’ve never been to before, what do you think is the most dangerous thing you should be careful about?

People? Well even though people can be dangerous it is not like every person you meet will want to take your life away.

Food? Yes some foods can be dangerous to you, like things you don’t know you’re allergic to, because you’ve never tasted them before and other similar cases.

But no, the most dangerous one is probably definitely that. You know, that thing that lives anywhere and everywhere, in your mouth, under your nails, in your shoes, even inside of you. Yes you’ve guessed it right, its viruses and bacteria! In other words microorganisms.

And I was being exposed to a who~le new palitra of those.

Fortunately for me, it turned out it wasn’t anything life threatening or rather since they didn’t manage to kill me it made me stronger.

Anyway. Why did I bring all this up. Well, as it turned out, and do keep in mind this is just a speculation of mine, some of the microflora and fauna that had invaded my body thrived on mana. And when I took the mana away by poking fun at the spirits… Well lets say things went a little bit south. Even though as far as I can remember I should’ve been moving westwards back then. Of course it’s just a figure of speech.

Back then when I felt I was getting exhausted at a rapid pace I immediately suspended any mad scientists activities until further notice. But by then it was already too late.

Still, later I realized how lucky I’ve been. If I hadn’t exhausted my mana back then, it wouldn’t have caused the bacteria inside of me to starve and attempt to leech off whatever they can get their little figurative teeth on, which in turn would’ve lead to my body getting rapidly saturated with mana. A condition I discovered could cause a mana shock or something similar to that.

Overloading one's body with mana. Effect - a mix between radiation decease and going through a blender. Strengthening the properties of the various substances in the body eventually leads to death if not immediately treated.

On the other hand the constant attempts of my body to reach a new equilibrium caused me to feel horrible. Really horrible.

I reckon this is what it feels like for drug addicts to go through withdrawal.

At that time, I’ve somehow managed to activate my critical thinking skills and began desperately attempting to leave the forest.

I remember hearing a very distant and muffled rhythmic shrill sound similar to what would be produced by chopping wood with an axe.

‘Oh, I have all my fingers,

the knife goes chop chop chop’

I’m not sure how I was able to distinguish it between all the birds, insects and wind, but I reason I’ve somehow been able to subconsciously managed to strengthen my senses and cognition. Because I was not simple able to notice that sound, I also recognized there’s a new kind of spirit nearby.

Amazing what feeling like your life hangs in the balance, and the balance depends only on your own effort can do to you.

The spirit was the air kind, or maybe ‘wind’ is more accurate?

It would only be born in vast open spaces and then die when it arrives at places where wind couldn’t proceed freely. Of course back then I didn’t know that yet, but must’ve figured there must be something where I saw it came from so I headed in that direction.

Either that or I’ve been incredibly lucky. ‘Never doubt my luck’ is the doctrine I’ve been following my whole life.

Coincidentally, I noticed it was the same direction the sound of cutting was coming from.

My whole body was burning. Rivers of of sweat were cascading down every single part of me. My sight was hazy and the world was swimming, spinning, shaking and twisting around. The rhythmic sharp sound continued to pound on my eardrums, stronger and stronger as I moved forward. At last the source emerged behind a tree. What I think was the silhouette of a mad viking with an oversized waraxe appeared on the other side of a small clearing. I couldn’t continue keeping my consciousness and collapsed at the spot. I’ve either fainted from the exhaustion or successfully attracted the norse god attention, because all I could feel was my heart beating like mad and the silence that was enveloping me.

‘Today felt like my birthday, a baptism and forty days in the wilderness all in one.’

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