Chapter 5
Ultimately there was, but one, ground rule and that was simply, “Punishments must be in line with the school rules.“ I figured this should cover things like nudity, indentured servitude, or any other wildly inappropriate things. In the Kings Games I’m used to(from my manga), the King’s decrees usually take the form of something along the lines of telling a secret, sitting in someone’s lap, or giving a hug. They can be quite adventurous, but at the same time rather tame, at least when considering present company. Based on what I’ve witnessed of these three girls so far, there’s no telling what they’d make the losers do. Though, I’m sure it wouldn’t be considered tame by any means. Ludicrous might be a better word for what they might come up with. It's because of this that I made this ground rule and I think it should be good enough to keep things within the realm of mildly embarrassing and non-life changing.
The girls wore sullen expressions when this rule was made, but they had enough sense to accept it, fortunately. It’s likely that they already had some form of punishment in mind, and if this was their reaction to the ground rule, then I’m glad I made it.
“Good. This should work as a good countermeasure for any-”
I realize now I don’t know what game we are playing.
“Auclair-san, you haven’t told us what video game we’re playing.”
“Ohohoho! How prudent of you to ask Furukawa-san.”
Auclair-san brings attention to herself as she walks over to the plasma tv, turns it on, and picks up a controller. The Stupendo Click is already set up and turned on below.
That switch wasn’t there before. How does Sebastian do it? He truly is a modern day ninja.
Auclair-san moves to block the tv. I look out the window, at the ceiling, and in the bookshelves, looking for anything, any sign of how the ninja butler could be monitoring us.
“We are of course going to be playing the Stupendo Click edition of the classic party brawler franchise, Rumble Onee-sans. This entry features an impressive roster of nearly one hundred unique Onee-sans from other highly acclaimed and beloved Stupendo titles. A roster of Onee-sans that have made us proud little brothers and sisters for the last four decades. I, the great moi, Lisa Auclair, as one of those proud Imouto’s presents to you - Rumble Onee-sans Ultimate.”
At this moment, Auclair-san re-directs attention from herself to the tv, moving aside and unblocking the screen. She does this precisely as the panty flash sound effect occurs and the Rumble Onee-sans logo appears.
Shwing
I’ve always admired the tastefulness of the game’s creators having the silhouette onee-san in the logo wearing bloomers under her skirt. Her noble stance, and the preparedness to wear bloomers in the face of an imminent panty flash, she truly embodies the spirit of an onee-san.
Clap Clap Clap
Auclair-san gives a bow in response to the applause.
“Well presented Auclair-san.”
No complaints to be had by me or from the rest of the club members. Who’s not a fan of ass kicking Onee-sans?
Of course I too am a fan of the Rumble Onee-sans franchise, or I should say I was a fan. It’s been half a year since I’ve touched anything fighting related. But those were fun times, even if I didn’t have any friends to play with, I could always play against randoms online using my favorite character - my custom created “Sensei Onee-san” as inspired by sensei herself. It’s amazing how I was able to replicate her duster jacket in game(I used the cowgirl onee-san’s oversized vest, altered the color and brightness for a more faded look, and removed the tassels). I couldn’t give her a cigarette, but I did give her a lollipop which sort of worked as a substitute and also a great source of amusement. I mean, sensei with a lollipop, how ridiculous. That alone had me laughing for hours and hours.
It’s a shame I won’t be able to use her today and also a great disadvantage. I’ve never even touched any of the actual (non custom) onee-sans in the game before and this is the first time I’ll be playing against real people in person and without said favorite onee-san. It’s pretty nerve wracking. But also a lot of fun. Playing games with schoolmates and moderate stakes? I’m excited.
I wonder how the others will fare? I assume Auclair-san will be tough to beat since she owns the game and suggested it. She doesn’t strike me as someone who would put herself in a losing position. Suzuki-san should be easy pickings right? Wouldn’t she be squeamish with this sort of thing? I can’t see her being the competitive type, though she did make some bold club activity suggestions earlier. She’s also really serious when it comes to improving herself. Is this not another opportunity for her to grow? And Sakura-chan….who knows? It’s hard to imagine her doing anything, but fortune telling. But she must have other interests. Maybe her fortune telling skills can come in handy in a game like this. Like being able to read her opponents and predict their moves before they do them. That’d be pretty impressive. Am I certain she even has real fortune reading abilities though? Ahg, I’m just psyching myself out here. Let’s just focus on having a good time and doing my best, shall we?
Among the four expert controllers brought by Sebastian-dono, there was a red one, a blue one, a pink one, and a gold one. Auclair-san, holding the gold one, navigated to the rule selection screen. Both Sakura-chan and Suzuki-san had already moved their chairs closer to the screen and selected their controllers. Suzuki-san chose pink, and Sakura-chan chose blue, leaving me with red, which luckily enough is the controller I would have picked. Red is one of, if not, my favorite color. The other color being green, which is why Christmas is the perfect Ken Furukawa holiday. What a great time of year. The lights, the inflatable reindeer, presents….slutty santas….But now’s not the time to be thinking about such things. We are still in April afterall and there’s plenty of other holidays and events to enjoy before then, like this one right now.
Taking a closer look at the red controller I notice that it is in pristine condition. In fact, so are the pink and blue ones. Almost as if they were brand new. The golden controller in comparison, while clean, has obvious signs of extensive use. The joysticks are smoothed over where the thumb meets the rubber, and the spot where the charging cable plugs in seems a bit loose. Could it be that she prepared these controllers for us beforehand? Or has she had them all along. Maybe she’s been keeping them for such an occasion, but never having the opportunity to use them. This whole time, like me, she’s been playing games alone just wanting a friend to enjoy them with. My comrade, how sad. But also how happy I am for you and I. Our dreams are coming true. Let us strengthen our bonds as clubmates with our fists….in game.
“We’re all in agreement then? This, the only true way to play, will be our rule set.”
Everyone, including myself, nods in agreement with Auclair-san. Auclair-san follows up with a rule rundown.
“For style, we have four stock. Anyone with any sense knows that the true value of an Onee-san is in their ability to survive. The perfect onee-san is invincible, immortal, forever pampering their younger siblings, fulfilling their every whim and desire. Because of that, the best Onee-san will be the last one alive. Time battle is out of the question. Only uncultured swine play for kill count.”
Everyone nods in agreement again.
Everything Auclair-san is saying here is true. Onee-sans are benevolent beings meant to stand above the rest for all time, not be bound by it. And the magnitude of their greatness can’t be quantified by any metric, let alone kill counts. The closest we can get to understanding the enormity of their grandeur is by giving each onee-san four lives and seeing which onee-san keeps at least one in the end. Also, this way I can play like a total wuss and let the others kill each other while I run away.
“All items will be available.”
Nod nod nod
Of course we have to play with items. It’s the only way to play with competitive integrity. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.
“Stage selection - we’ll pick stages in turn, starting with player 1. Morph stages ONLY. Of course, an onee-san must be able to adapt, even when her world flips upside down.”
Ooooooooh!
“Auclair-san you really do get it”, I say in amazement.
The thing about onee-sans being able to adapt is correct, but also, the non-morphing stages are boring. If it’s not moving, flipping, or changing in anyway, then what are we even playing this game for? Might as well be playing Avenue Soldier at that point.
“Lastly, it’s a Free for All. We’re all out for ourselves here with only one winner each round. So accept this apology beforehand from the great moi, I’m sorry, because I don’t plan on losing. Not one single round.”
By the way, there hasn’t been any specified amount of rounds that we will be playing. That might end up being a mistake on my part.
Suzuki-san gets pumped in response to Auclair-san’s declaration. A fire lights in her eyes and she replies with,”Challenge Accepted.”
Sakura-chan, who brought her crystal ball with her in front of the tv, sets it aside taking full grasp of her controller and mutters,”I see….great loss…in your future.”
Joining in on the hype, I reply with, “Time to show you all why I’m the club President. Let’s do this!”
Somebody hits a button and we continue from the rule screen to the character selection screen.
The announcer yells, “Rumbllllllllle.”
Right, I don’t know who to play….It’s probably best If I take a wait and see approach.
I decide to wait and see what onee-san the other three pick, before making my choice.
As we enter the character selection screen, the bottom of the screen displays each of the four numbered players and their chosen characters. Each player can set a nickname for themselves that will hover over their onee-san in battle.
First player is Suzuki-san who’s using her first name Suzu as her nickname.
Looks like she was the one who hit the button to enter character select. Auclair-san must be frustrated.
Second player is a frustrated Auclair-san also using her first name (Lisa) as her nickname.
Third player is me. Going along with the trend, I also use my first name (Ken) as my nickname.
Lastly, the fourth player is Sakura-chan whose nickname is [Blank].
Somehow that nickname is more ominous than the others. Also haven’t I seen that somewhere before?
All three of them make their character choices without hesitation.
As the first player, Suzuki-san chooses the classic onee-san, Doctor Sister. Suzuki-san must know her gaming history and/or be a lover of the retro, because Doctor Sister is a beloved character from a bygone era. Doctor Sister, one of the oldest Rumble Onee-san characters, is the main character from the health based puzzle game Doctor Sister. In the game, this doctor onee-san solves puzzles and gives very helpful health advice while also being very flirtatious with the player. In recent years a remake of the game has been released and the new character model of the remake was chosen over the old one of the original for use in Rumble Onee-sans Ultimate. This was considered controversial by the fans…..until they saw the concept art(a dommy mommy with glasses and a lab coat). As a Rumble Onee-sans character, she can attack opponents with ranged kiss propelled heart projectiles and slap enemies with her panties. Not very doctor-like at all, but I’m not complaining. Side note - The creators are said to have used the english word “Sister” instead of onee-san, because, “English sounds cool.”
Suzuki-san chose Doctor Sister. That’s somewhat surprising. A bit of an old school staple. Is she a lover of the classics? This is the kind of character choice that makes me think the player is a pro. Am I about to get owned? Is she about to…. serve us some medicine? If only the character threw pills instead of hearts, my wordplay here would make more sense.
In the second player slot, Jiggly-nee was chosen by Auclair-san. Jiggly-nee is a prideful, clumsy, well endowed nee-san from the hit series Ane-mon. Ane-mon, a game where you collect, train, and battle with onee-sans against other onee-sans and their onee-san trainers. It also has an 18+ rating, making Jiggly-nee the only character in Rumble Onee-sans history to be from a game rated for adults. This along with her Jiggilyness and her super cheap moveset (she can put people to sleep with her lap pillow ability, then one shot them with a forward tripping titty slam attack) makes her potentially the most controversial Rumble Onee-sans onee-san to date. A certain pro player is known for using this character and winning multiple tournaments with it. He receives much backlash for it within the competitive Rumble Onee-sans Ultimate community.
Auclair-san chose Jiggly-nee, huh? Guess she really doesn’t want to lose afterall. That cheap bastard. I wonder if she’s ever played Ane-mon before. That’d mean she’s played an 18+ game before right? That’s basically eroge. Hmmmm. Interesting. This requires further study.
Sakura-chan in the fourth player position chooses Nee-san, nice watch!(The only decision she’s made so far where she didn’t consult the crystal ball). Nee-san, nice watch!, an onee-san without her own game, is a cameo character that appears in other Stupendo titles to show off her nice watch. She wears a suit and tie and brandishes a very shiny and expensive watch which all her abilities are based around. In fact, she’s a bit of a meme character as all her watch based attacks are random, based on the time that’s displayed on her watch. Some of the random effects include: freezing the opponent, doing a lot of single target damage, insta killing herself, doing completely nothing, changing opponents characters,or even nuking the entire stage. She’s a very silly, but very scary onee-san to face off against. You never know what will happen.
Does this mean Sakura-chan doesn’t care about winning? Or maybe she’s foreseen the outcome. Maybe what’s random for us, isn’t random for her. All according to keikaku? That or she’s trash at the game and wants to rely on chance. If that’s true…..I can respect it.
Everyone but me has selected their characters and are impatiently awaiting my choice.
“Hurry it up Furukawa-san. My victory is at hand.”, says Auclair-san.
“Furukawa-kun….choose.”, says Sakura-chan.
“Ummm….maybe you should pick random…if you’re unsure….”, suggests Suzuki-san.
“It’s okay Suzuki-san. I know who to pick.”
I did know who to pick. After seeing the characters chosen, foreseeing all the lame moves I want to avoid, and deliberating over what cowardly tactics to employ, I’ve made my decision. Something that wouldn’t require experience or skill and had something cheap to abuse from a distance. In the third player slot, I select Solid Nee-san.
Solid Nee-san is stealth and close quarters combat expert onee-san from the video game series Vaporous Onsen Fluid. As part of the bodacious group of secret agents “Bathing Beauties”, Solid Nee-san infiltrates evil government, corporate, and yakuza run onsen establishments to take down the evil leaders plotting to rule the world with steam powered mechs. It’s a fun game with lots of stealth, mecha, and people in bath towels. Somehow it only has a teen rating.
While Solid Nee-san is a close quarters combat expert, the key to my strategy is that for some reason she can use a rocket launcher and throw grenades. My plan, in nothing but a bandana and a bath towel, is to stand on the sides shooting rockets and throwing grenades and avoiding confrontation all together. It’s as lame as it gets, but I expect that lame is the name of the game here. I doubt I’m the only one going in with such tactics in mind. And if so then…well…that’s an easy dub for me.
Right off the bat it’s not looking good for me. Our first stage, as selected by Suzuki-san, is Sultry Cool Peak. It’s a medium sized mountain themed stage with no floating platforms and floor tiles that randomly alternate between slippery ice, and explosively hot lava. With no platforms to escape to and a lack of reliable tiles to stand on, my cowardly strategy of shooting from the sides and avoiding direct confrontation will be near impossible to pull off. I’ll just have to let the missiles and grenades fly and leave it to the rng gods.
The round starts and I try to keep my distance the best I can, taking measure of my opponents skill levels. Luckily for me, the girls seem to be gunning for each other straight from the jump, completely ignoring my existence, allowing me to get to the edge of the stage and begin firing my rockets.
Suzuki-san goes on the offensive, mixing in panty slaps between normal attack combos and letting out a battle cry like that of an anime delinquent. She’s completely dropped her timid personality and entered full on bold Suzuki mode.
“ORA….ORA ORA ORA ORA!”
On the receiving end of her unrelenting blows is Auclair-san, who’s taking an uncharacteristically patient approach. She’s defending well against the majority of Suzuki-san’s blows, while occasionally throwing out a lap pillow attack to set up the falling forward tity slam combo. So far she’s yet to connect. Next to them is sakura-chan, flopping around like a fish out of water, covered in smoke and flame from getting hit by every single one of my rockets.
“Hold on. Wait. Stop that Suzuki-san! The great moi beseecheth thee. Halt your attack. Please?”
“Stop blocking then and let me hit you. Oi, oi oi oi.”
“Cease this foolishness at once. Come on, let me do my move. Ah, mooooooh!”
“Furukawa-kun….let me…do the thing.”
“Ok.”
Sakura-chan pleaded for me to stop shooting her and let her do “The thing”. I felt bad so I complied and ceased my rocket firing. No longer flopping, Sakura-chan moves right behind the advancing Suzuki-san and performs her signature move.
Hey! Check out this watch! You like?
Oh Ya! Nice Watch!
EXPLOSION!
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
Nee-san, nice watch! proudly presents her watch to Doctor Sister who spins around captivated. She compliments the watch. The time reads 7:06 and all combatants explode, sending each of us flying off stage one after the other, losing our first life. Everyone, but Auclair-san is amused by this.
“Yay.”
“Why are you happy, you imbecile? You just killed yourself.”
“Three for one. Worth.”
“Mohhhhh!”
“Tee hee. I’ve never seen that happen before.”
Next to me Suzuki-san let out a giggle of pure joy. The first time ‘ve heard her laugh or saw her relaxed. She’s finally letting her hair down and it’s good to see.
“This is fun huh Suzuki-san?”
“Yes. It’s the first time I’ve played games with other people like this. When I tried in the past….everyone would get scared of me and run away.”
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“I understand what that’s like….When I was in America the other kids never let me join their dodgeball games. They were afraid of me. They thought I’d hurt them.”
“Hoho! Afraid they’d get hurt? So what? Isn’t that what dodgeball is all about? No pain, no gain. So says the wise and judicious moi.”
“No, I don’t think the object of the game is to hurt each other, Auclair-san.”
“Bah! What say you Sakura-san?”
“Dodgeball…fun.”
Sakura-chan lips curled faintly into a creepy half smile.
Dodgeball is fun Sakura-chan, but your timing is weird. That smile implies you enjoy the pain and suffering of others, but that can’t be right. You’re just a cute innocent little fortune teller, right Sakura-chan?
“I didn’t take you for the sporty type.”
I can’t help, but picture Sakura-chan getting hopelessly pummeled by a barrage of dodgeballs. This image amuses me.
In response to my remark, Sakura-chan looks at me and flexes one of her arms. There’s no muscle whatsoever.
“Wow.”
Suzuki-san seems impressed though. She continues with a thought.
“We could try playing dodgeball in the future. I think that’d be good.”
Her words reminded me of something my mother said some time ago.
“I think that’d be good, not fighting. Give it your best.”
She said this to me when I told her that I was giving up being a violent idiot. That’s not the words I used, but it’s what I was.
Thinking back to those days of being excluded from the dodgeball games. Not being allowed to play, it felt unfair at the time, but they weren’t wrong about me hurting them. I tended to be an easily irritable sore loser in those days and I would start hurting the other kids out of frustration. The last time I played dodgeball I put the entire enemy team in the hospital. I didn’t know I could do so much damage with just a dodgeball, but I learned that day. With a good throwing arm and proper accuracy you can….never mind. Really though, I’m not proud of myself for something like that, honest. Might as well have been a completely different guy!
“It’s not like I wanted to play dodgeball or anything, but that does sound fun. Just to warn you though, I’m a wizard at dodgeball. I’ve got this super secret ultimate throwing technique that-”
“Ho! Cool story, Furukawa-san, but you may want to focus on this game happening now, because you’re about to fall to your death.”
Auclair-san’s warning reminded me that I was indeed still playing a game in the present. I turn my attention back to the screen, realizing that I’m the only one who wasn’t moving their character during that entire verbal exchange. The result was as Auclair-san warned. The tile under my onee-san turned to ice and my onee-san proceeded to slip and fall to her second death.
“Ahg!”
“Furukawa-kun….Noob.”
“Haha haha.”
After that disgraceful turn of events, the match proceeds to be a very neck and neck battle between the four of us with Suzuki-san continuing her role as the aggressor, Sakura-chan as the projectile sponge, and Auclair-san looking for windows to perform her combo. The match nears its end with all of us on our last lives. Things are going as expected as Suzuki-san assault is pushing Auclair-san to the brink.
“A truce. Let us form a truce. Faites une trêve avec moi!”
“You’re French has no power here Auclair-san.”
“Non!”
That is until Sakura-chan actually dodges one of my rockets for once, avoiding being juggled into the air.
“Ohhhh.”
In awe at her own achievement, she opens her eyes wide and perks up in her seat. I once again lose focus of the game on the screen, instead choosing to view it through the reflection in Sakura-chan’s expressive retinas. The play flashes over them as it unfolds.
Shwing!
Hey! Check out this watch! You like?
Oh Ya! Nice Watch!
Kacha!
Flashed by the nee-san’s astonishing watch, Doctor Sister becomes trapped in ice.
“Aha!”
Seizing the moment Auclair-san turns the tide. She performs and connects her lap pillow into a forward titty slam combo hitting both Suzuki-san and Sakura-chan sending them to their doom.
Boom! Boom!
“Not….bad.”
“Nice one Auclair-san.”
“You’re next Furukawa-san.”
“Uh oh.”
With only I and Auclair-san remaining, she turns her attention to me and looks to close out her victory. With no one to buffer me, I decide to do what I haven’t done all game, go for some close quarters hand to hand combat. I make a dash toward the pink jiggly nee-san and aime to surprise her with a roll into a leg sweep. But as I hit the peak of the roll animation the floor tile turns to ice and I am yet again thwarted by its slipperiness.
“Shit.”
I die as the others did. Death by titty slam.
Boom!
“Ho hohohohoho.”
Hand over mouth, persevering her modesty even in her post victory hubris, she stands gazing downward at the battle’s losers. We can only sit and wait for the punishment that would be handed down to us by our drill horned overlord. I did put in a countermeasure with the ground rule, but Auclair-san is someone with limitless resourcefulness. There could be a loophole I’ve overlooked or an angle I have yet to see. What does she have in store for us? We move to the table to hear her decree.
“For my first decree…..I as King hereby order the losers of this round….to be friends with me.”
To the surprise of us all, she abashedly extends her hand in friendship, taking a turn for the wholesome. It dawned on me the true intention behind this club activity.
This must be her true intention behind the Kings game video game edition suggestion. She just wanted us to bond as friends after all. How touching Auclair-san.
I take Auclair-san by the hand as I respond favorably.
“I’d be honored to be your friend Auclair-san. Wow, my first friend. I’m in your care!”
She did not expect the physical contact, but decided to overlook it. She waves her hand as if to call off a readied gunman. I can hear the sheathing of a sword from somewhere nearby. I let out an audible gulp knowing that I’ve nearly faced Sebastian’s wrath. With me stepping back, it’s now Suzuki-sans turn to step forward.
“What he said. Thanks for having me.”
Suzuki-san bows. She quickly retreats to her seat after full heartedly accepting the punishment.
Last to respond is Sakura-chan who doesn’t step forward. She merely turns to Auclair-san and says,
“Motion denied.”
That’s a lawyer’s line, not a fortune teller’s Sakura-chan.
Auclair-san is visibly distressed by this.
“May I ask why you deny me?”
“Contract.”
“Oh? Is that all?”
Is that all? The contract isn’t anything to sneeze at Auclair-san. You said that whole thing earlier about having jurisdiction over her. With this power dynamic at play, it’s difficult to have anything resembling a real friendship together. As it stands, she’s essentially your prisoner.
“Fine then by the power invested in me through the contract I hereby force you to be my friend.”
And now you’re using said jurisdiction to force her into being your friend….
“Ok.”
“Yipee.”
Sigh.
So concludes the first round of the King’s Game.
All in all an intense battle followed by a welcomingly wholesome request. If the first round is anything to go by, the rest of the battle and decrees should be a pleasant experience (I do hope we end up with more item variety though. The first match featured almost entirely Ms. Venuses).
The rounds that followed were much like the first with varying results and more consequential item spawns. While Auclair-san did not win all the rounds, she did win the lion’s share. It seemed like luck was always on her side. Always at the right place at the right time, and getting all the best and most overpowered of the items(she keeps taking all the shiny shotas). Both Suzuki-san and even Sakura-chan won a couple rounds of their own. I have yet to win any(only one game left since club time is running out). Thanks to Auclair-san setting the tone, the following punishments remained wholesome.
Here are the subsequent punishments.
Auclair-san’s second decree for the group was to have us shower her with compliments. She had to settle for one a piece.
COMPLIMENTS PORTION - - - -
My compliment:
“Your horn drills are exquisite.”
“Thank you. I have indentured servants specialized in maintaining their majestic splendor. I’ll be sure to tell them that their efforts haven’t gone unnoticed.”
Suzuki-san’s compliment:
“I like your confidence. It inspires me.”
“Ho hoho. I’ll be sure to continue to be an inspiration for you in the days ahead. Look forward to it.”
Sakura-chan’s compliment:
”You’re rich.”
“...”
The other girl’s liked the idea so much it made a return, two more times(for both Sakura-chan’s and Suzuki-san’s first decrees).
COMPLIMENTS FOR SUZUKI-SAN - - - -
My compliment to Suzuki-san:
“You are a bold and courageous young woman.”
Emphasis on bold.
“Really? I hope that’s true. Thank you.”
Auclair-san’s compliment to Suzuki-san:
“You might be the most radiant creature at this school….next to me of course.”
“That’s very kind of you to say. Thank you very much.”
Sakura-chan’s compliment to Suzuki-san:
“You smell nice.”
“I’m glad you think so. I make sure to bathe everyday.”
COMPLIMENTS FOR SAKURA-CHAN - - - -
My compliment to Sakura-chan: “Your crystal ball is very shiny.”
“Eh.”
Auclair-san’s compliment to Sakura-chan:
“There are certain markets in some of the more unscrupulous sectors where I know for a fact that you’d be sold for a considerably large amount of liquid currency.”
“Ehhh.”
Suzuki-san’s compliment to Sakura-chan: “You’ve got a great sense of fashion.”
“Ehhhhhhhhhhh.”
END OF COMPLIMENTS - - - -
Auclair-san’s third decree was to have us all do a dance.
I broke out the worm.
Suzuki-san did some break dancing and was actually good at it.
Sakura-chan did Shermy’s zombie walk dance from peanuts. Aculair-san found that to be the most amusing.
Auclair-san’s fourth decree was for us all to sing a song. We decided to sing together. The song we sang was “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. None of the others were very good at English, but they had the lyrics perfectly memorized at least. We were tired and awful, but sang with an unrivaled fervor. All without any musical accompaniment. In the end it was more of a punishment for Auclair-san than anything.
Suzuki-san’s second decree was for the rest of us to give her advice. She didn’t ask for anything specific.
“Please give me advice.”
Is what she said.
ADVICE GIVING PORTION - - - -
My advice:
“Try to be more sociable with our other classmates. Say hello and good morning at least. That should help change your image a bit.”
“It seems simple, but it’s hard for me. I do want to change though. So starting tomorrow I’ll try my best to greet my classmates.”
“That’d be great.”
Auclair-san’s advice:
Auclair-san pulls out her fan and fans herself with it.
“Try to smile more. Your resting bitch face is giving the wrong impression.”
“What impression is that?”
“That of a stone cold bitch of course.”
“Oh. Ok I’ll work on it. How’s this?”
Suzuki-san looks in her mirror to try and line up a suitable smile and presents it to Auclair-san. It’s nothing short of spectacular, but in the worst sense.
“Just awful.”
Sakura-chan’s advice:
“Eat tasty treats.”
“Hehe. I’ll take that to heart. Any recommendations?”
“Here.”
Sakura-chan hands her a shelled peanut from within her robe. Suzuki-san looks confused. Sakura-chan takes the peanut back and cracks the shell before handing it back to Suzuki-san.
“....Thank you.”
END OF ADVICE PORTION - - - -
Auclair-san had one other punishment for us(telling scary stories), but due to time constraints we promised to carry it out as a future club activity.
The last King’s decree (before the final round) belonged to Sakura-chan. While it involved fortune telling as one would expect, interestingly enough, she wanted us to tell her fortune.
“Tell….my fortune. Please.” She said, as she relinquished her crystal ball to us.
Since the three of us are no fortune tellers, it was less us telling her fortune, and more so us coming up with hogwash, hokum, and malarkey.
FORTUNE TELLING PORTION - - - -
Me telling her fortune:
“Hmmm. I see good things in your future. You shall receive a gift from a new friend. It’ll be sooner than you expect.”
“Diamond?”
Scary…..You’re scaring me Suzuka-chan.
“That might be a bit pricey….”
“Denied.”
“What?”
“Fortune denied. hehe”
You can deny a fortune? Didn’t know that was an option. Did she just laugh there?
“Then how about some bear shaped gingerbread cookies?”
They sell some at a confectionery near the school. It’s a pretty little candy shop that’s awkward for young men to enter. The bear cookies Seem like something cute girls would like and it should be something I can afford with my current allowance. It’s embarrassing, but I’ll just have to grin my teeth and bear it.
“Bear-san?”
“Yeah.”
“Fortune accepted. Peaceeeuu.”
Sakura-chan holds up a peace sign.
She must be gloating. Why do I feel like someone that just got cheated?
Suzuki-san telling her fortune:
“I see a Sakura tree growing large and strong. It’s feeding on the nutrients of the earth. Beautiful pink petals dance in the wind as the tree stands underneath a warm yellow sun.”
How poetic.
“I’ll get fat?”
Sakura-chan lifts her robe revealing that she does indeed wear the school’s uniform under there (I’ve been wondering). Reluctantly she hands over her peanut horde, dropping a pile of them at Suzuki-san’s feet.
“No Sakura-san. I don’t think you’ll get fat. I think it means that you’ll grow stronger.”
Sakura-chan blinks then flexes.
“As a person.”
Sakura-chan lowers her arm and nods. Has she finally understood?
She reclaims her horde, picking the peanuts back up and returning them under her robe.
It’s like Santa’s bag of goodies under there.
Auclair-san telling her fortune:
“I see a woman covered in rags, destitute. She has no job, no money, and no skills save that of a low level con. She has a growing hunger, yet no means to sate it. Slowly and agonizingly she dies, flesh rotted and withered. A forgotten soul in a forgotten alley. This is the fate of a charlatan. This fate belongs to you. The great all seeing moi has perceived it.”
“...That’s not good.”
“Not good at all.”
“Change it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Change it.”
“I can’t. I’ve merely sighted your path and followed it to its destination. You are the one who-”
“Change it.”
“As I was saying. I have no power to change your future. You must change your future, by paving a new-”
Sakura-chan goes over and starts to pull on one of Auclair-san’s horn drills, giving it hard repeated tugs.
She chants, “Change it. Change it.”
“Ah moh. Unhand me. Unhand me this instant.”
Light rustling sounds can be heard overhead with the light pitter patter of footsteps.
Oh shit, Sebastian.
In order to prevent imminent outside intervention, I put myself between the two seers, pulling Sakura-chan away from Auclair-san’s hair.
“That’s enough. Both of you apologize to each other. Sakura-chan for pulling Auclair-san’s hair, and Auclair-san for telling a mean fortune. Do it now or we will end the club early.”
“I’m sorry Auclair-san.”
“I’m sorry Sakura-san.”
“Good. Now shake on it.”
The two shake hands, but as their hands meet there’s an audible crunch.
“What’s this?” Auclair-san asks, looking at her hand. She sees the crushed remains of a familiar treat.
“Peanuts.”
Sakura-chan grabs more peanuts from her robe, cracks the shell, and devours the innards.
“Want some?”
Sakura-chan extends a peace offering in the form of more peanuts.
“Much appreciated.”
The offering is accepted.
END OF FORTUNE TELLING PORTION - - - -
And here we are now in the final round/match/game, whatever you want to call it. It’s the final one. There’s roughly fifteen minutes left of club time, so this has got to be it, making it my last chance to win. My last chance to preserve my pride as club president and avoid the shame of being the only one who didn’t win anything. The time is now, all or nothing.
It’s Auclair-san’s turn to pick the map. She chooses Gooey Gumdrop Isle, a tropic island map that features large vats of pink goo being dumped onto the stage. The goo covers the ground and the onee-sans, causing the ground to become sticky, and the onee-sans to slowly harden over time. A stage that focuses on immobilization. Of course she would choose this map as it helps set up for her combo. It’s a goto map for Jiggly-nee.
The battle begins with usual suspects performing their usual strategies, with one change. As the previous matches went on, both Auclair-san and Suzuki-san began to adapt their strategy to include attacking me. While they remained the main focus of each other’s offensive, I was no longer allowed to remain completely ignored on the sidelines. In between shooting rockets, I dodged and weaved the attacks levied at me, moving between the edges of the maps. Eventually Sakura-chan, Auclair-san, or Suzuki-san would hit one of the others and their ire would be targeted at someone else. In the midst of it all, Sakura-chan was still trying her best.
The items start to rain in from above, an assortment of empty beer cans, pudding cups, and laser pistols. I heal up on pudding cups and toss every pistol I can off the edge of the map in order to keep my long range monopoly (the beer cans, like Ms. Venus, are mostly useless). I keep this up till we near the end of the match, where much like the first, we are all on our last lives. The pink goo vats have yet to appear. But finally, from the edges of the screen they arrive.
“Ho hoho. The time for my victory is yet again at hand.”
“Not the goo.” Suzuki-san despairs.
“GG.” Sakura-chan declares, resigning to her fate.
“It’s not over yet.”
“That denial of yours is unbecoming of a president, Furukawa-san.”
The action comes to a standstill as the vats reach the middle of the screen and pour their contents down upon us. The goo on the ground beneath our feet halting our movement, and the goo enveloping us inhibiting our actions. Of the girls, the only one not resigned to loss is Auclair-san for she is playing a cheap character. Jiggly-nee's lap pillow has another broken quality that I forgot to mention. The move is a mini-dash with invincibility frames, making the character move a small distance and become immune to any attacks or effects in that time window. Auclair-san can use lap pillow while we are powerless to close the distance and finish us off, unaffected by the goo.
This map is considered Jiggly-nee favored. It was smart of her to pick it. Well played, Auclair-san, playing to your strengths. However…
Auclair-san combos her way across the stage finishing off the other two members on her way to me.
Boom! Boom!
“You’ve forgotten one thing, Auclair-san. Grenades.”
“Huh?”
Explosion!
Right before the goo completely hardened I had thrown a grenade slightly in front of me. Auclair-san hadn’t noticed as she was too busy gloating. The explosion of the grenade hits her with full force sending her flying to her demise. The outer edge of the explosion catches me, but I’m able to recover, landing back on the stage.
Boom!
I win.
Another villain defeated, another onsen cleansed of corruption. Uh oh, my bath towel slipped…
The victory screen concludes and as we have for the previous matches, we move over to the table, taking with us our seats. Auclair-san turns off the console and the tv before joining us.
“Great work Furukawa-san. I’m happy you won one in the end.”
“Thank you Suzuki-san. You were really tough. It was almost like facing a professional.”
Having put down the controller and returning to the table, Suzuki-san turns on her shy dere mode.
“I like to play a lot….when I’m not working.”
That’s right. This girl’s a model too.
“It shows.”
Having responded to my compliment, Suzuki-san enters the mirror world once again.
“Furukawa-kun, Bonzai!”
Sakura-chan raises her hands in celebration.
“Hehe!”
I rub my nose bashfully then pat Sakura-chan on the head without thinking. As soon as I started I realized how uncomfortable this might be, but decided it’d be more awkward if I stopped midway. Sakura-chan closes her eyes and accepts the head pats, giving her the image of a sleepy cat. I push through the awkward feeling and give her head a few more pats before ceasing.
“Nice…”
Sakura-chan didn’t seem to mind it.
I turn to Auclair-san looking for one more round of congratulations. In her own way she complies.
“I guess your efforts are worthy of a single victory. Though it pales in comparison to-”
“Thank you Auclair-san.”
I cut her off, interrupting the start of her bogus spiel. She was gonna say something along the lines of my one victory being meager in comparison to her five, but I knew that was all an act to deflect her shyness. Really….If there’s one thing I learned today it’s that my clubmates are super adorable.
“Don’t mention it….”
***