CHAPTER 1

Today is my very first day as a Japanese high school student.  I’ve been looking forward to this day for a very long time.  Ever since my family moved back to Japan, I’ve been dreaming of living out all the exciting high school tropes and clichés I've read about in manga.  Festivals, fireworks, onsen….girls in their school swimsuits.  I can’t wait to make lots of new friends and create fun filled memories together for the next three years!!  These are going to be the best days of my life!!!  Time to put my best foot forward.

“Hello everyone.  My name is Ken Furukawa.  I may be half white, but I’m one hundred percent Japanese citizen.  I’m really looking forward to spending this year with each of you.  So let’s all be friends and make this the best year ever, ok? ” 

Wink

There, just as I rehearsed. How’s that?

“Boooooooooooooooooo!”

“Just go home already!”

“Nobody wants you here!”

“You suck!”

“That’s right, What she said!”

“Die! Just Die!”

The classroom erupts into a cacophony of discontent and unnecessary death threats.

God damnit.  Not quite how I planned it….

The homeroom teacher Ms. Takeuchi took a ruler in her hand and hit the chalkboard with it, quieting the class. 

Bang Bang Bang

“That’s enough, that’s enough now. Everybody quiet down!  Sheesh!  Why is it that I always get the savages in my class?”

I’m going to assume that remark was aimed at my unwelcoming classmates and not me.  

She turns to me with a stink eye and points to a seat at the back of the class.  

Maybe that comment was meant for me after all….

“Take that open seat back there next to the window.”

Am I being hated because I look foreign?  But like I said in my speech, I’m 100% a Japanese citizen….How do I get through to them?  How can I connect with my fellow classmates….Oh, I know!  The magazine said it was the number one most important thing when it comes to human interaction.  Confidence!!  It’s all about confidence! I’ll let it show in my stride.  Chest out, head back, one foot in front of the other.

I do my “confident” walk trying my best not to embarrass myself.

“I can’t believe we have him in our class…..What did I do to deserve this?”

“I know right.”

“I must have done something wrong in a past life….”

“The guy can’t even walk right.  How do you even fuck that up?”

“I bet he puts pineapple on his pizza….”

I hear my classmates whisper such cruel things as I walk to my seat.  My confidence is shattered.

The walk was perfect!  How could it fail?  I think I’m gonna cry….

Taking my seat near the window, I see my seatmate has yet to take any notice of me.  Instead she’s preoccupied with doing some fine tuning to her already perfect face.  

A perfectionist?  What could possibly need changing?  Seems fine to me.  She could be in a magazine with that face!

She makes her final adjustments looking into her compact mirror.  In the reflection, I notice a droplet of sweat form under her brow before she dabs it away with a swab and snaps the mirror shut.  The cruel whispers start again.

“He’s sitting next to her?  That seems fitting. Hehehe.”

“I know right.”

“What a perfect match.”

“Perfect….So perfect in fact they just might morph together into one super ultimate unlikable being.  Their unlikableness will eventually span the globe.  An unlikableness of such magnitude the likes of which this world has never seen.   Honestly, I don’t think I could live in this world if that happened…If that happened, I might just have to end it all.”

“I know righ-....Dude..sometimes you say the dumbest shit.  It’s scary.”

“My bad…”

“But I totally get it.”

I honestly don’t get it….Looks like my seatmate is just as unpopular as I am.  But she’s gorgeous, like a supermodel.  She’s got that stylish gyaru look that seems to be all the rage these days.  Shouldn’t she be more popular?  Whatever is going on, this is my chance to make my first friend after my high school debut.  Two people in the same boat.  We’re sure to hit off!  Ok, look sharp.

“Hello there.  Looks like we’re going to be seatmates.  I’ll be in your care.”

I give the stylish gyaru sitting next to me a courteous bow.  She looks at me with apathetic eyes and turns away without saying a word.  The lethargy with which she turned away really struck me at my core.  My feelings are hurt.

This day hasn’t started off well at all has it?  Maybe it’s a good thing I missed the entrance ceremony. 

The teacher hits the ruler on the chalkboard three more times.  

“Since the first day of school is a short day, we’ll just take a look at the syllabus and decide our class representative.  For the representative, are there any volunteers?”

This is it, an opportunity!  If I want to overwrite my terrible first impression, I’m gonna need to take initiative.  What’d that self help book say? “Take the bull by the horns.”  I’ll become the class representative and show them just how reliable I can be.

I excitedly raise my hand.

“....Except for Mr. Furukawa.”

I was shot down instantly.

“Everyone who’s interested, come write your name on the board and we will take a vote.”

The first day of homeroom ended as an utter failure.  But that doesn’t mean I should lie down and accept defeat.  There will be more opportunities and when they come I just have to seize them.  Speaking of which, my seniors will be recruiting for their clubs after this.  Joining a club is a high school staple that every warm blooded youth should be honored to partake in.  I’m sure if I join one, I’m bound to make a friend or two along with some unforgettable experiences.  Bonding over shared interests, working toward a common goal with your fellow students, and then….maybe….dare I say it….love??  Haha, that might be a tad too ambitious.  Having a girlfriend would be great though.  Man!  I’m starting to feel better already!  The best days of my life are still to come.  Everything's gonna be just fine!

***

Tea Ceremony Club:

“No thank you.”

Home Ec Club:

“We aim to make edible food here, for humans.  Please leave.”

Bonsai Trimming Club:

“This is a wholesome club, for pure tranquil souls.  You’re not welcome.”

Manga Club:

“It is you Beelzebub!  The holy eye I possess, known as Lapis’s third eye, burns. With its quivering iris, I banish thee back to the demon realm.”

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Beeeeewwww

Club hunting was a bust.  At first I only visited the club stalls I was interested in like tea ceremony club, the home ec club, bonsai trimming club, and manga club.  However the continued rejections left me desperate.  I began looking for any club that’d take me.  I even tried the sports clubs.

Am I really going to have to join a sports club?  Will my days have to be spent purely in the company of sweaty dudes?  Well….there is a certain romance in that, like those sport shounen mangas.  Brotherly bonds, friendly rivalries, fighting for the championship.  There could even be a female manager falling in love with my tireless effort and heroic figure.  As I lead the team to victory in the last game of the season, she swoons.  Could be worse.

Judo Club:

“No.”

Baseball Club:

“Sorry, but you’ll just lower team morale.”

Basketball Club:

“NOT IN MY HOUSE!!!!”

The basketball club member throws a basketball in the air, and smacks it into the bleachers.

Still nothing but instant rejection.

Are you kidding me?  And they seemed so passionate about recruiting new members….Why does nobody want me? I’m following all the advice from those books and magazines.  What am I doing wrong exactly?  I’m confident, charming, and eager.  Is that not enough?

“Hey you, sad boy.“

“Me?”

“Yes you.  Come.  Look into my crystal ball.”

I’ve never heard someone speak in such a blunt robotic way before.  It’s oddly refreshing.

A small hooded figure beckons me to her stall.  It looks like a fortune teller's booth with its purple drapes and stickers of the zodiac. I can barely make out the girl’s emotionless face under the cloak.  There’s one open chair in front of the booth, I sit in it facing the tiny deadpan fortune teller.  She closes her eyes and puts both hands on the crystal ball, tensing up as if she was giving it her magical energies.  Opening one eye,  She takes my measure.   I hear a switch flick and the ball courses with mystical electricity.  

“Are you looking?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Hmmmmm.  Yes…..Hmmmm.  Please state your name.”

“Ken, Ken Furukawa.”

“Furukawa-san…..”

“So how’s it looking?”

“Mmm.  Not Good.”

“Not good?”

“Yes.  Ill omens. I see….a black raven.  Two young women.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Both spell trouble.  Both….very high maintenance.”

“Oh no…”

“You’ve met one already….the other….fastly approaches….”

She seems to be losing steam.  Is she well?

“Are you okay?”

“I grow tired.  I must recharge my mana.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight?  But, it’s still daytime?”

The fortune teller turns off the crystal ball, then pulls a pillow from under the table, resting her head on it, immediately falling asleep. 

“Zzzzzzzzzzzz.” 

Her snores are loud for someone so small.  I didn’t get her name, or the names of the high maintenance women.  Oh well.  It was nice talking to someone who didn’t hate my guts for once, even if it was about ill omens.  

*helicopter sounds*

The chair beneath me shakes as a strong wind begins to swell.  Sounds of helicopter blades and Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries steadily grow louder as a dark shadow grows beneath me.  

Where’s that coming from?

I look up as the winds grow too strong, nearly knocking me off my seat.  With my school uniform flapping, I hold my ground, using the fortune telling booth as support.  The sleeping girl is unperturbed.  In the nearby open field of the quad, a black helicopter lands.  The wind dies down as the engine stops, and the blades slow.  The song persists till it hits a climax, abruptly ending and heralding the passenger inside.

“Yes it is moi, Lisa Auclair, here to bless the commoners with my lovely countenance.  Behold my grace. Hohoho!”

A blonde horn drilled manga cliché steps out of the helicopter.  

“Beautiful as always Lisa-sama.  Even if you are a bit late.”

“Oh my dear Juan.  Must you always end what you say with a quip?  I’ll have you know, it’s perfectly reasonable for a dignified person such as moi to be slightly unpunctual.  It’s what people call being fashionably late.” 

Two man servants roll out a red carpet along the grass leading past me and all the way to the school doors.  The sharp tongued servant bows.  The other grabs her hand like at a gala and escorts her along the carpet.  It isn’t long before they reach me.  The oujou-sama nearly passes me without a glance, but stops.  Pulling out an ornate fan from inside her school vest, she turns to me, fanning herself while covering the lower half of her face.  She directs her gaze at me,  Her elegant blue eyes piercing my very soul.

“Commoner, why aren’t you kneeling?”

Confused, I finally take notice of my surroundings.  All the other students in the near vicinity are kneeling with their eyes to the ground.  The only one not doing so is me.  

I guess I screwed up again.

“I’m sorry?”

“No matter.  Just make sure to kneel next time…if you're lucky enough to see me again that is.”

I don’t remember ever reading about such customs…this is all pretty strange.  Regardless, I should probably introduce myself.  It’s the polite thing to do.  

“My name is-”

“I don’t need to know your name, commoner.  I’ll be going now.”

The haughty lady spins facing toward the school and away from me.  The grace of her spin leaves me spellbound as her drills nearly hit my face.

“Hohohohohoho!”

I’m left perplexed in her wake.

I don’t fully comprehend what just unfolded, but ultimately I’m still friendless, clubless, and my optimism is dwindling.  I can’t let my first day end in complete disaster.  On the bright side there’s still half the school day left.  But what do I do?  Hmm, I really didn’t want to resort to this, but things are dire.  I’m going to have to bring out the big guns.

***

“Help me Homura Nee-san!!”

Once lunch break started I bolted to the teacher’s lounge to beg help from a lifelong family friend and teacher of this school, thirty three year old Homura Tomura.  She sat manspread on a couch in the center of the room, wearing her patented duster jacket.  That duster jacket has been with her since her school days, when she terrorized the locals as the leader of an all female biker gang.  She’s since reformed her ways and is helping me do the same.  She’s been a mentor of sorts for my big high school debut.  When I said “big guns” before, I meant her.  She quickly closes her legs when she notices me approaching.  

This woman’s been married for ten years, can you believe it?  

“Don’t call me that here.  It’s Mrs. Tomura.”

“Please help me Mrs. Tomura!”

“Sigh.  What’s wrong Ken-kun?”

“Nobody likes me.”

“Isn’t that to be expected?”

“Wow!  How mean!  How could you say that?”

“It’s true isn't it?  It’s always been this way….Even I didn’t like you before…not that I’m proud of it.”

“That was then, this is now.  Things are different, I’m different.  It’s my high school debut.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this…”

I plop down on the couch next to my sensei, slouching in sadness.  She comfortingly pats my head. 

“Don’t be sad Ken-kun.  I’m sure people will come around….eventually.  I did, didn’t I?  Just give it time.”

“But I don’t want to give it time.  I want to make the most of it here.  These are the best days of my life sensei!  Every last one.  I gotta make em count.  Right here right now.”

I look at sensei with determination and slightly ruffled hair.  Her demeanor seems sympathetic.  

She seems like she wants to help me.  She just needs an extra push.  Time for the waterworks.  

As if on command, tears start to form in my eyes.

“What can I do sensei?”

“Ah don’t cry….”

Yes, it’s working.

”You couldn’t make friends in class?”

“They were mean to me….”

“You tried joining a club?”

“Nobody wanted me….”

“Even the sports clubs?”

“They said I’d lower morale….”

“Hmmm well…..I guess there’s one more thing you could try….though….”

“What? What is it, Mrs. Tomura-sama-sensei?”

“It requires me putting my name and reputation on the line….If you mess things up it could be bad for me so….”

I get down on my knees, pleading.

“Whatever it is, I won't mess it up.  I’ll be good.  I won’t let you down, promise!!!”

“I guess if you promise you’ll be good….you could start your own club, I can be the advisor….however-”

I jump to my feet, my mood bright.

“Really? That’s a great idea!  And that’s exactly what I’ll do!  I never thought I could start my own club.  Thank you Sensei!!!  I know exactly what I’ll call it too. I’ll call it the “Best Days Of Our Lives “ club, since I’ve been saying it all day.  It’ll be a club whose sole purpose is to live our high school lives to the fullest.  Achieve all the things, do all the things.  It’s going to be gre-”

“It’s not that simple.  We’re past the deadline for club registration….”

“No way….”

“But-”

She’s really playing with my emotions here….

“-there’s a certain someone….a certain problem student who's looking for a club to join and fortunately if she were to join your club, then the school will look the other way….“

“Wow, there’s a student like that?  And she’ll join my club?”

“I’m pretty sure she will, but…she’s a bit of a handful…I guess you could say…she’s kinda high maintenance.”

High maintenance!  Where have I heard that before?

“Also, you’ll need two more members not counting her…but I already have a couple students in mind.  You just need to sign off on it as club founder and president and I’ll take care of the rest.” 

“Thank you Sensei…I don’t know what to say.  You’re really doing me a big favor and I feel like you’re doing all the work.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I feel like I owe you anyway, for before….”

“What do you mean, before?  You’ve alluded to this in the past, but you’ve never explained what you meant.”

“It’s fine.  It’s better you don’t know.  Like you said, that was then, this is now.  Besides, you should prepare yourself.  You have a lot of work ahead of you.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you’re about to be the president of a club of misfits.”

***